Warning: This is an Esme x Carlisle fic only. If you like un-original pairings please do not read any further.

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I was sitting in the living room when I heard her first moan, deep and sensual, much to my surprise. I sat down the magazine I was reading, intently listening to my daughter's pleasure filled groans. I had really hoped I wouldn't have to give her the 'masturbation talk' but it looks like I'll have to. Carlisle had warned me about this, telling me exactly what to say and how to approach the rather embarrassing topic, but at the time I hadn't really paid much attention to what my husband had to say, I never thought I'd have to repeat any of it to Bella.

Bella has seemed a little off lately, what with her spying on Carlisle and I, but I wish she could see that we only want the best for her. I think of Bella as my own daughter and I don't want her missing out on the physical side of her relationship with Edward because she doesn't fully understand sex. Back when she was human she always seemed so eager when it came to Edward, now she seems almost sluggish.

I know for a fact Edward and Bella haven't had sex while we've been on the island, meaning they haven't been intimate in over two weeks, quite a long time for vampires and newly-weds at that. I feel so sorry for the girl and I wish I knew how to help her. Is it their technique, or maybe its Edward's size, he's always been small compared to the other boys. Maybe she just needs some pointers, though I really wish I wouldn't be the one giving them to her, true I am her mother for all intents and purposes, but 'sex tips' was never listed as one of the objectives for me to teach my children.

Another moan erupts from the bedroom Bella has been sharing with Edward, the uniquely titled 'blue room'.

Should I tell her it's wrong and that she should talk to Edward? No, that's not what Carlisle said, he told me to tell her it's 'natural instinct,' but since she has a mate she shouldn't have to do it.

But I did. Fifty years ago when the fifties were winding down and the sixties were just starting to emerge Carlisle got accepted to teach at John Hopkins as well as work, a huge accomplishment for anyone in the medical field. I was thrilled, as was he, and we moved to Maryland the very next day. Carlisle barely even had time to help us unpack before the hospital called him, asking for his assistance in the ICU. I expected him home later that night but of course he never came, calling me at 3 o'clock in the morning to tell me he had to teach a night class at the university.

After weeks and weeks of this same routine I began to get fed up, though I never told Carlisle, knowing how happy his position at the hospital as well as the university made him. I knew he would quit if I complained, and then we would have to move again, so I kept my mouth shut and my thoughts blocked from Edward. Nothing was fine, but I was handling my husband's near constant absence fairly well, until that night.

It was September 17th, in other words Carlisle and I's anniversary. It just so happened that one of Carlisle's 'huge surgeries' fell on that Tuesday, leaving me home alone on the day that it really counted the most. He called of course, told me he loved me more than anyone else that I was the only one for him, but it didn't help soothe my aching heart. I needed the real Carlisle, not some message from him. I wanted his body on mine, his lips against my neck, his breath in my ear.

I went to my room later that night and noticed a small note sitting on my night stand. I could smell Alice on the floral paper and picked it up immediately, skimming the elegant writing quickly.

Everyone is out hunting, so you have the house and night alone to yourself. Let go for once and enjoy yourself, I know you can.

Love,

Alice.

Let go? What does she mean by 'let go'? I had puzzled over that for hours before finally deciding to take a bath and try to melt away the stress that had accumulated over the past six months. I stripped down, discarding my clothes in the laundry bin near the closet. The water was hot against my ice cold skin, causing it to hiss and cool as I slid in. The tub hugged my body as I leaned back, my head resting on the porcelain nicely. It was peaceful for the first few minutes, but the itch, or should I say ache, that I had hoped to eliminate only seemed to grow, spreading from my core all the way up my body. My nipples began to ache and harden as I sat up, embarrassed that I had become so horny so fast. I thought I had grown out of that phase long ago. Apparently not.

My hands go to my breasts, massaging their pillow like softness, my thumb and forefinger pinching my nipples easily. If I closed my eyes it was almost like Carlisle was doing this to me, pleasing me, making me drip with need, with want.

Carlisle's face appeared in my mind, almost egging me on, wanting me to touch myself.

Go on Esme, go a little further.

But I couldn't. It wasn't ladylike what so ever, and at the time it was a very new thing to bring yourself pleasure instead of your lover. But dire situations call for dire actions.

My hands crept down, squeezing my breasts one last time before running down my body, stopping once they reached their destination. My core ached as I waited, my mind reeling, my morals being crushed under my unrelenting need for contact.

"I need this."

I thrust one finger in, my nail scratching the sensitive skin causing me to moan loudly. My breathing became labored as I writhed under my own touch, my finger curling and twisting, desperate to get the release I so eagerly needed. I inserted another finger, the feeling of pleasure intensifying tenfold. It wasn't Carlisle, nowhere near, but it was still pleasure all the same, and boy did it feel good.

After going a week without sex and months without anything other than a couple 'quickies' I was desperate and frantic, rocking the water as my hips bucked and my head tossed. Groans erupted from my body as I inserted two more fingers, my pussy almost enveloping my entire hand. My thumb involuntarily flicked my clit, it coolness invigorating in the steamy water. Wetness poured from my core, mixing with the water and causing a musky, sweet scent to fill the air.

I reached my first orgasm of the night a few moments later, splashing a few gallons of water on the floor in my heightened state. I screamed loud enough for the neighbors to hear and for the first time in decades I didn't care because I was in heaven, and this heaven was reachable. I thought I had solved all my problems.

I fumbled out of the bath tub, not bothering with a towel or clothes as I fell on the bed, my hand still deep inside my heat. The minutes turned to hours as one orgasm turned into four, one hand nestled in my folds, the other kneading my soft flesh. The phone rang twice, but I ignored it, not caring about the outside world any longer. If only I had been smart and picked up those calls.

"Carlisle…" I groaned, flicking my clit lightly, trying to work up to number five. My back arched as my forefinger hit my favorite spot, almost igniting my nirvana. I probably would have gone over the edge if it weren't for the interruption.

"Esme?! What the hell are you doing?!" Carlisle screamed, throwing down his bag and jacket angrily, his hat still perched on his head.

I squeaked and pulled my hand out of my core, my fingers completely drenched in my juices, as was the comforter under me. I grabbed a blanket from a nearby chair, pulling it around my naked form and drying my hands off quickly. I bowed my head in shame, not wanting to meet my husband's onyx colored eyes, my arms trembling at my sides.

"I-I'm s-so sorry Carlisle, really. It's just that it's our anniversary and we haven't made love in months…"

My voice trailed off as Carlisle walked over to me, placing a finger under my chin. I raised my head submissively, meeting his eyes for the first time. They were not burning with anger, but disappointment, something I promised to never see in my husband's eyes again. Anger hurts but disappointment is a blade to the heart, something about causing your lover displeasure makes the mind go nuts.

"We had sex last week, Esme." He reminded me flatly.

I shook my head, inevitable tears building in my eyes. "Sticking your cock in my ass against the fridge isn't making love Carlisle, it's called fucking." I had never used the term before, but I had heard Emmett use it countless times when referring to his relations with Rosalie so I decided it would be ok, though by Carlisle's facial expression you would have thought I had slapped him.

"You know I'm busy at work, Esme! I'm sorry I can't come home every night and spend ten hours trying to coax twenty orgasms out of you! That doesn't mean you have to shove your hand up your pussy and give yourself the pleasure the husband is supposed to give! Do you even know what this means, Esme? How disgraceful your actions are? I still love you of course, I will always love you, but this, this is not you Essie. Did someone tell you to do this? Because I know my sweet little Essie-bee would never do this to herself. Was it Alice? She is so into this new-age crap that it's clouding everyone else's judgment, I'll have to speak with her later."

"No! No, it wasn't her fault, Carlisle. I-I needed this, just this once. Please don't tell anyone, please Carlisle! I know what I did was awful, just please don't tell anyone about this. I love you Carlisle, I want you to know that and I want you to know that every second I was pleasuring myself your face was in my mind. I fantasize about you when you're not here, but now that you are…"

I tugged off my husband's tie seductively, winking at him through the tears. He grinned slightly, though it never seemed to reach his eyes.

We made love for hours that night and the next week we left town. Carlisle and I have never talked about the incident since, and I haven't touched myself since then either. I never asked Carlisle why he was so angry, my curiosity not peaking in that department. Some things are better left alone.

But here I am, standing in front of Bella's door, her moans echoing through the empty house. The rest of the family had gone hunting or swimming, leaving me alone with my daughter once again, my memories and fears ebbing to the surface.

I wish Carlisle were here.

I knocked on the door hesitantly, awaiting a reply patiently, though it never came. Bella's moans got louder and I started to pick words out of them, deciphering them in my head.

"Carliiisle! Please!"

I jumped at the sound of my mates name falling from Bella's mouth in the form of a breathy groan. Was she fantasizing about Carlisle, or is he just a part of her Edward fantasy? Surely she loves Edward more than anyone, right?

"Stay with me, forever, please…leave her…we can live together for eternity…" she mumbled almost incoherently. Leave her? What is she talking about? She couldn't be talking about me…Bella's in love with Edward, she would never cheat. My thoughts were wild and sporadic, filled with second doubts and overlooks. I tried to focus, to clear my head, but the jealousy that had begun to build was overwhelming me engulfing me.

"You're mine!" she cried loudly, her voice shrill.

A growl ripped from my chest, surprising me and Bella as the moaning immediately ceased. I heard the swish of fabric and the door opened, revealing a slightly disheveled Bella, her hair and clothes a tangled mess.

"Esme?"

It sounded more like a question, as if she couldn't believe it was me who just caught her masturbating to my husband. She sighed and looked down sheepishly, her arms swinging awkwardly at her sides.

"I thought you went hunting with the others," she whispered faintly, her fingers toying with the hem of her shirt. She gulped as she awaited an answer.

I pursed my lips, my teeth clenching and unclenching, my body deciding whether or not to attack the girl. I pushed the instinct to kill down, though it wasn't an easy task. Vampires are made to fight and they are made to protect their mates.

Bella looked away, her eyes gleaming with worry.

"No, I didn't. I decided to stay here in case you wanted to talk, but apparently you wanted to do a lot more then talk."

Bella glanced at me, her eyes locking onto mine and in that instant I felt her pain over my jealousy. I can tell she's miserable and unhappy, maybe by her marriage to Edward, but that still doesn't give her the right to think about Carlisle in that sort of way.

For many years I considered Rosalie a threat to me and Carlisle's relationship, what with her great looks and long skinny legs I thought for sure Carlisle would choose her over me. Carlisle of course denied this a thousand of times, and even Rosalie herself told me she never held any interest in the blonde haired vampire, but I still kept a look out on her, making sure she never pulled anything. I consider her a daughter, but my mate comes first, whatever the situation may be.

I suppose I never really considered Bella a threat. She's pretty, as pretty as Alice, but she's not Rosalie and Carlisle always treated her like a child anyway, so why would he find her attractive?

Truth be told I have no idea whether Carlisle thinks anything of Bella, a fact that scares me to no end. What am I supposed to do if he leaves me? Stay with the family as the ex that won't leave? Become nomadic and be killed off in a matter of years? Find someone new?

The thought had me clenching my hands in pain. I could never find another Carlisle, no one even close exists. He's perfect in every sense of the word, and he's perfect for me.

But Bella's desperation is so apparent, so potent that is almost has me crying as well, though I stay strong not wanting to show weakness in front of the competition. If I have to win Carlisle over again I will in a heartbeat. I would do anything for that man; even lay down my own life if he asked me to.

"It wasn't meant for your ears." Her voice was stoic, her face placid.

Her sentence infuriated me but I kept calm, my teeth biting at my lip releasing a pool of venom into my mouth. It tasted strong and bitter as it circled my tongue, preparing me for a battle I don't want to fight.

"You said his name, Bella. You were fantasizing about MY Carlisle," I said, regaining composure at the end, my feet curling on the hardwood.

How could she do this? She knows how the mating system works, there are no take backs, once you're stuck you're stuck and that's final. You can't go back and re-place your order, it doesn't work that way. A mate is for life, unlike human marriages and lovers, and anyone who tries to get between a vampire and his or her mate might as well be ash. Surely Edward explained this to her years ago, she must know.

"I did, you are right. I am in love with Carlisle, ok? I've loved him for years now, never acting on my feelings because I was always too scared, too worried about what you or anyone else would think of me. Well you know what? I don't give a shit what you think about me now, because I need him, more then you've ever needed someone in your entire life. So don't give me that face Esme Platt because you should have seen this one coming," she barked, sticking a finger at my chest.

I seethed, grabbing her hand and pinning her against the wall, my teeth inches away from her neck from her neck, the white skin near blinding. Bella's eyes were frantic as she stared at me, tears clouding her golden orbs, masking her beauty.

"I called you my daughter and you betray me?! How could you do this to me, Bella? You know what he means to me, you know what I would be without him. And what about Edward, is he nothing to you?"

I eyed her feverishly, my grip loosening as I searched her for answers, her expression rarely changing. She reminded me of a doll, ever stuck in a depressed and lonely state, her glass eyes and painted lips melting in the summer sun.

"Maybe I would like Edward more if he didn't cry out 'Esme!' every time he climaxes or jerks off in the shower!" Bella spat out.

I gasped loudly, releasing her completely, her arms falling to her sides limply. She must be lying, Edward would never think of me like that, he would never fantasize about me, I'm his mother and he adores Bella.

"You're lying!" I accused sharply, my eyes squinting dangerously.

Bella scoffed and shook her head, her brown waves dancing over her shoulders.

"Hardly, though I wish it weren't true. What type of man cries out for his mommy during sex? It puts a real damper on the mood."

Bella's tone was mocking, her voice low, all remnants of the little girl I once knew completely erased, leaving a hard-edged woman in its place.

I straightened up and pushed my shoulders back, trying desperately to look more imposing. I'm a good few inches taller than Bella but at the present moment she seems miles above me, as if she were looking down at a scorned child. For once Bella was beginning to scare me.

"He would never."

"He already has, hundreds of times. I'm surprised you didn't hear him, calling out 'Esme, Esme, please, please!'. I swear he's talked about every piece of your anatomy, in detail nether less, and yet he never seems to notice, as if he were daydreaming about you," Bella mused, looking at her nails nonchalantly.

I growled again, my composure finally snapping, "You are crazy if you think I would believe your lies! Don't think that Carlisle and Edward won't be hearing about this, because they will! Mates are no things to play around with Bella, you'll get yourself hurt."

My warning went unheeded as Bella rolled her eyes, "Ok Esme, keep telling yourself that. Go run to your precious Carlisle, tell him all about my big secret but you better go fast because tonight I plan on telling everyone in the house Edward's big secret. Maybe then Carlisle will finally see who really deserves him, maybe then he'll leave you for good."

"You wouldn't."

"I would. I want him Esme, don't you see that? I want your life, everything you have I want. If I could be you I would, but that of course can't happen so I will do the next best thing. Steal your mate."

I was panting by now, my anger rising by the second. How dare she say these things to me, and threaten my relationship with Carlisle? He loves me. I know he does, he told me last night.

"Carlisle will never pick you, he loves me," I promised her, the venom building in my mouth.

"'Carlisle will never pick you, he loves me,'" she mocked, impersonating my voice almost perfectly, much to my ire. I crossed my arms, not amused by her childish games.

"He won't. Have you not noticed his pure adoration for me over the years, he practically worships me, Bella! We're standing on Esme Isle for God's sake! Are you out of your mind?" I screamed. My hand leapt out to a nearby chair, my fingers circling the headboard easily and crushing the wood in seconds, my anger nowhere near sated. I needed more.

Bella coughed lightly, her hand a fist over her mouth. She shut her eyes and held up a finger, stopping my rant almost instantly. "I believe the day was September 17th, 1962. Carlisle had been working longer shifts at the hospital and working a job at the university, leaving you alone for most of the day. It was your anniversary that night, wasn't it Esme? And you were looking forward to a night spent alone with your husband, but he didn't come home, so you gave yourself pleasure for the first time ever and you enjoyed it, didn't you Esme? And then Carlisle came home, early from his surgery and ready to greet you, only to find his sweet innocent wife with her hand stuck in her pussy, his name falling from her lips like honey. He was so appalled by the sight of you that he screamed at you for the first time in your relationship, frightening you, your memories of Charles coming to the forefront once again. He was disgusted by you, Esme, disgusted. He made love to you that night, but only out of pity, for his love for you was soiled the second he saw what you had become, a low-life house wife that had to result to masturbation to get a husband's job done."

I blinked, my mind trying to register what she just said. A gasp filled my lungs when I realized what she was saying…how does she know that story anyway?

"How do you-"

"Carlisle told me a few years ago when I asked him about masturbation. He's shared tons of those stories with me, all just as embarrassing and humiliating as that one."

She knows everything, all the times that I accidently messed up or did something stupid, she knows. Carlisle told her. "H-he said I was disgusting?"

"Yes. He did. He even told me he forgot why he married you after all these years, I think he went with pity, you know sympathy for a dead woman. He never liked you really; it was all just a joke. It's just like you said, Esme, you don't deserve him at all. I do."

Her words cut so deep, making my heart raw and my bones ache. Surely my Carlisle didn't say those things; he would never call me those names, especially not in front of Bella. But he could have, I might have been out and not heard them talking. He could hate me and I not even know.

"You think I'm lying, don't you? Well, I'm not. He confides in me, Esme, he tells me everything. He even told me how disappointed he was on your wedding night. He thought you had lost the baby weight after the transformation, silly him. He does think you have nice tits though, quite an accomplishment for a hundred year marriage, huh? You probably thought he would be all lovey dovey, talking about how much he loves your capacity to care and forgive, but no, he doesn't care about that. He doesn't care about you."

After all these years, after everything we've been through he repays me by doing this, by getting his mistress to tell me we're through. Something about her words seemed so real, and something inside me promised me she wasn't lying. This was real.

I took a few steps forward so I was standing right in front of Bella, her eyes dark her lips pulled taunt. I raised my hand and slapped it across Bella's face, the skin connecting with a successful crack! Bella fell back, her hand clutching her face as she looked up at me. I frowned and shook my head, horrified by what my family had become.

I love you Carlisle and I will get you back, one way or another. This isn't goodbye.

My wedding band slips off my finger, clanging on the wood floor as I walk away, my footsteps defeated, my heart broken.

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Carlisle POV

"Alice, what's wrong!"

Jasper's screams echo off the branches and rocks, scaring away a few dozen birds, their wings beating in the twilight gracefully. Their blood smelled oddly enticing.

"We need to go back," Alice said, gripping the sides of her head with her hands. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her spiky hair messy and coated in dirt from hunting.

"Is Esme in danger?" I asked, frightened for my mate. Edward looked at me, his face strained, his eyes black with rage. What is going on here?

Jasper's form shakes as Alice whispers something in his ear, his fist colliding with the ground angrily, crushing the small purple flower I had picked for Esme. I frowned slightly, annoyed by my children's obvious fury and their complete lack of sharing the news.

"What's wrong? Is Esme ok? Is she hurt?"

Alice pursed her lips and glanced at Edward, his head nodding slightly. Their message was quick, but not unnoticed. Something serious was up and I needed to know what it was.

"Jasper, go get Rose and Em. Meet us back at the house, maybe we can get Esme before she leaves."

Alice's voice was dim, her eyes drained. Esme's leaving?

"Leaving? Can someone please explain to me what's happening," I said impatiently. Edward snarled, baring his teeth at me angrily.

"Bella has ruined everything, that's what's happened. She told Esme that you don't love her anymore. She's packing her stuff up now."

"What?" I asked, breathless. Bella lied to my Esme? Why on earth would she do that?

"Bella loves you, Carlisle. She's trying to push Esme away so she can be with you."

The sun finally faded, the moon becoming clear in the sky, the great white orb casting shadows on my children's faces. The scene seemed so serene, so quiet and perfect, yet it was anything but. My mate is in danger and I must rescue her.

"I need to get to Esme. Now."

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Please no hate! If you didn't like it don't read another chapter!