Cast of Characters:

The 3 Remnants - Lock, Stock and Barrel
RENO - Sandy Claws
SEPHIROTH - Oogie Boogie Man

(Don't ask me why Reno's the Sandy Claws - it's just for humor purposes . . . )

*The remnants laugh, as LOZ tries to push RENO through a small-sized pipe*

RENO: *arms and legs are bound* Don't do this! Naughty remn-

KADAJ: *gags Reno*

YAZOO: *grins* He might not fit, Loz

LOZ: *shoving as hard as he can* Nah - If he can go down a chimney, he can fit down . . . *pushes the Turk through* HERE!

*RENO falls downs pipe, and lands on stomach, his groan muffled from gag. He peers around for a moment, eyes wide with fear*
Two dice land short of the Turk, bouncing off his side

SEPHIROTH: *ascends from above*
Well, well, well, what have we here?
Sandy Claws, huh?
Oh, I'm really scared
So you're the one everybody's talkin' about,
ha, ha, ha, ha

*the gag is untied from around his mouth*

You're jokin', you're jokin'
I can't believe my eyes
You're jokin' me, you gotta be
This can't be the right guy
He's ancient, he's ugly
I don't know which is worse

*The Turk fumes angrily, trying to move*

I might just split a seam now
lf I don't die laughing first

*pulls out Masamune and twirls it around*

When Mr. Oogie Boogie says
There's trouble close at hand
You'd better pay attention now
'Cause I'm the Boogie Man
And if you aren't shakin'
Then there's something very wrong

*makes RENO participate in a fake waltz*

'Cause this may be the last time now you hear
the boogie song, ohhh

THREE BATS
Ohhh

SEPHIROTH:
Ohhh

SEVEN LIZARDS
Ohhh

SEPHIROTH:
Ohhh

SEVEN LIZRDS
Ohhh, i'm the Oogie Boogie Man

*plays with RENO, making him participate in a fake waltz*

RENO: *glaring at SEPHIROTH*
Release me now
Or you must face the dire consequences
The children are expecting me
So please, come to your senses

SEPHIROTH:
You're jokin', you're jokin'
I can't believe my ears

*spins RENO around and lets him slide across the ground*

Would someone shut this fella up
I'm drownin' in my tears
It's funny, I'm laughing
You really are too much
And now, with your permission
I'm going to do my stuff

RENO: *grimaces shutting his eyes*
What are you going to do?

SEPHIROTH:
I'm gonna do the best I can

(Musical interlude)

*throws pair of dice*
Oh, the sound of rollin' dice
To me is music in the air
'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man
Although I don't play fair
It's much more fun, I must confess
When lives are on the line
Not mine, of course, but yours, oldboy
Now that'd be just fine

RENO:*is pulled above the ground by binds on wrists*
Release me fast or you will have to
Answer for this heinous act

SEPHIROTH: *grins*
Oh, brother, you're something
You put me in a spin
You aren't comprehending
The position that you're in
It's hopeless, you're finished
You haven't got a prayer
'Cause I'm Mr. Oogie Boogie

*grips RENO's chin* And you ain't going nowhere

* from above: KADAJ, LOZ and YAZOO die laughing*