Chapter 2

I lay on my bed that night, tossing and turning; I couldn't get Paul out of my mind. He was literally right above my room. I felt like I could almost see through the ceiling. I could picture him lying in the bed up there, alone, trying to fall asleep.

What was it about him that drew me to him so much? My bed was against my wall that had the window, so I scooted over to it. I opened my window and stared outside, feeling frustrated. I didn't understand what the hell was going on with me.

I had only spoken this guy for what? Ten minutes? Probably less. Yet I was so hung up over him. What was wrong with me? I stared out at the sky, looking at the stars. It was a beautiful night, it wasn't cloudy at all, and the stars were clear for me to see. I felt at peace being able to look up at the stars, but it still didn't make me feel any clearer about Paul. I didn't even know why I was feeling this way.

I lay back down on my bed, again staring up at the ceiling. I threw the blankets off of me and went downstairs to the kitchen. Had Paul and I flirted earlier? I thought back to our conversation. When we had been talking about the difference between our towns…I felt like it had been a bit of flirting. Or maybe I was just completely overreacting. I took a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with water.

"Hey," I heard an all-too-familiar husky voice from behind me.

I turned to see Paul coming into the kitchen wearing flannel pyjama pants that my mom had given him and a black wife beater…which showed off his muscled arms...oh my god he was so hot. "Hey."

"I couldn't sleep," he explained. "I was hoping for a glass of water."

"Glasses are in that cupboard," I said, pointing. "And there's filtered water in the fridge, or you can obviously use the tap."

He got a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with water. We were both quiet-I don't think either of us really knew what to say to the other one, either that or he was just quiet, thinking about why he was here. I wanted to ask him why his mom had kicked him out, but I felt like that'd be too personal.

"I'm surprised you haven't asked why I'm here," he said.

"You wanted a glass of water," I said.

"No," he said, moving closer to me. "Why I'm here, in your house."

Was he reading my mind or something? "My mom told me-your mom kicked you out."

"I meant that I'm surprised you haven't asked why she kicked me out…I'd be curious as hell if I were you," he said.

"I figured that'd be too personal to ask," I said. "Of course I'm curious, how could I not be?"

"I could be dangerous," he said, dangerous smile lighting his face.

"What? Did you murder someone?" I asked sarcastically.

He chuckled. "Maybe."

"You're lying."

"Kind of weird how you can read me so well after only meeting me…two-three hours ago?" he said.

"It's a talent," I said, taking a sip of water.

He gave me a long look. "She kicked me out because I told her the truth about her husband. I told her that he isn't good for her, and she couldn't handle the truth, so she told me to get out of her house…but before telling me to leave, she said some nasty shit to me. Really, really low blows. I wasn't going to leave, but when I went to my room to pack my bag, I realized that I had to go. There was no point in staying there, not when I would just get harassed and abused."

"They…they abused you?" I couldn't help but ask.

"My step-dad, yeah," he said, taking a sip of water. "Half the time my mom is too drunk to even realize what's happening."

"That must be terrible to live around," I said sympathetically.

"Well, at least I'm out of it now," he said, exhaling deeply. "Your dad…I don't think I'll ever be able to thank him enough."

I was surprised at how serious our conversation was. What had happened to our light conversation earlier? Earlier we had been so lighthearted with each other, what had happened?

He sighed. "I guess I won't be getting much sleep tonight, but I guess I'd better go back upstairs."

"Or, we could spend some time together," I suggested. Whoa, where had that come from?

He looked at me oddly. "What?"

"I'm not going to be getting any sleep either, we could watch movies or something, hell, we could even go for a walk," okay, seriously, where the hell was this coming from?!

"I wouldn't mind watching a movie," he said. "What do you have?"

"Anything and everything," I said, leading him into the living room. Okay, I really liked Paul. I didn't know why I liked him so much; I literally had the perfect boyfriend, Edward.

Okay, he wasn't perfect, but who was? Nobody was perfect, yeah Edward had his flaws, but didn't everybody? And I was sure as hell flawed. We decided on a horror movie to watch together, I sat beside him on the couch, trying not to feel the heat radiating from his body. I was all too aware of how close we were sitting, as I'm sure he was.

As the movie started I glanced over at him. He was concentrating on the screen, and I examined how strong his features were. He was so hot. I was so tempted to rest my head against his shoulder it was unreal. I wanted to curl into his side and have him put his arm around my shoulders. I turned my attention back to the movie. It was so hard not to lean against him.

At one point during the movie, I jumped, and Paul noticed. He placed his hand on my shoulder and met my eyes.

"You alright?" he asked.

I nodded, feeling my face heat and lowering my eyes in embarrassment. "Fine."

He took his hand off my shoulder, and I couldn't help but feel disappointed the loss of contact, he was sitting so close to me, and his mere touch had sent heat throughout my entire body. I watched the movie, and did something I didn't think I would have. I scooted closer to him and rested my head against shoulder-I couldn't help it. I felt him tense slightly, and then felt him relax and tentatively put his arm around my shoulders. I breathed a quiet sigh of relief and continued watching the movie.

Guilt seeped into me as I realized what I was doing. Did this count as cheating? No…I didn't think so, it wasn't like we were doing anything.

Yeah, you're just snuggling with a guy you just met on your couch. You're doing absolutely nothing, right?

I pushed that thought out of mind. I was trying not to feel guilty about sitting here with Paul what were we doing, other than watching a movie? We were just sitting together…yet I was tucked securely under his arm with my head on his shoulder.

Paul

I was surprised that Vanessa had gotten so close to me. When she had put her head on my shoulder, I had been so surprised. My heart was hammering against my chest…and it scared me. I had never acted this way about a girl before in my entire life. I had never gotten nervous or flustered around a girl before in my life-what was so different about Vanessa?

I hadn't noticed she had fallen asleep, until I realized that she had become completely still apart from her breathing. I wasn't sure what to do. I turned off the TV and looked over at her, I didn't want to wake her, but I couldn't just leave her here, and I sure as hell couldn't sleep with her here on the couch-what would Peter do? He'd be absolutely livid.

I did the only thing that I could really think to do-I scooped her up into my arms, being super careful not to wake her, and carried her upstairs. I put her on her bed, and put her blanket over her, for some reason…I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay there with her.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind and left her bedroom, closing the door behind me.

"What were you doing in her room?"

I turned to see her brother looking at me expectantly, and crossing his arms tightly over his chest…waiting for an answer.

"It isn't what you think," I began-shit…that had made me sound guilty. "We were watching a movie together downstairs, she fell asleep, and I brought her to bed. That's it."

He moved closer to me. "I don't like that you're here, I'm not going to hide that. I don't know you, but if you do anything to my sister, you'll be sorry. Her boyfriend is one of my closest friends. If you do anything with her, he'll kill you. Trust me."

I looked down at him, he was almost my height, but I knew if it came to a fight, I'd be able to take him. Anger shot through me, but I ignored it. I nodded at him and went up to the attic.

I was livid.

I understood that he was protective of her, if I had a sister I would be too, but for him to just assume that something had happened between us…

A thought struck me; now nothing could happen between Vanessa and me. For some reason, the thought upset me. I flopped onto my bed. A girl had never shaken me up like this before in my life. Since I had first seen her, her image had been burned into my mind.

I couldn't get her out of my head.

When I had gone downstairs to get a glass of water, I had hoped that I would see her. I had doubted that I would, but I had still hoped. When I had seen her standing in the kitchen with her back to me, I had froze. I considered just going back upstairs and not even bothering to talk to her. But, I had pulled myself together and talked to her.

I still didn't understand why this was happening. When it came to girls, I had never had issues like this before. This was completely new territory for me and to be honest, it scared me.

Nothing could happen between Vanessa and I though. She had a boyfriend and a protective brother. If some guy all of a sudden took my girl from me, I'd be livid.

But I wanted Vanessa. Was it just the fact that she was off limits to me that I wanted her so badly? If anything were to happen between her and I, would Peter look at my differently? Ever since I had been a kid, I had looked at Peter as if he was a parent to me. He was sure as hell more of a parent to me than my mom had ever been, and my dad-who even knew where he was? I didn't want to lose Peter's respect and trust for me. I felt like a son to him, but I didn't feel like a brother to Vanessa. Was that weird? Liz-Peter's wife-had pretty much welcomed me into the family as if I was an actual relative, should I see Vanessa as a sister to me? I leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. I wasn't sure I'd be able to see her as a sister to me.

Ugh, what was wrong with me? Seriously. What had gotten into me that I was so wrapped up over one girl? I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. I doubted I would be able to sleep tonight, but it wouldn't hurt to try, would it?

I adjusted myself on the bed and leaned against the pillows. I closed my eyes, hoping to catch sleep.

As far as I could tell, I didn't. I'm sure I had gotten at least an hour of sleep, but I couldn't be sure.

At about nine o'clock, I headed downstairs. I figured there wasn't much else for me to do in the attic.

"You're up early," Liz noted when I walked into the kitchen. "Did you sleep okay?" She handed me a bagel.

I wanted to tell her that I had slept like a log, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to lie to her. "Not really."

I put the bagel into the toaster and waited for it.

"Was it the room? You could try one of the other guest bedrooms or the pool house."

To be completely honest, I was tempted to ask if I could move out into the pool house. But again, for some reason I didn't.

"No, I think it's just the new…environment," I said. "I'm sure I'll be fine within a few days."

"Don't hesitate to ask if you need something," she said, smiling.

I nodded and smiled at her.

"Good morning," Vanessa's voice floated through the kitchen. I felt my stomach lurch ever so slightly.

"Morning, Ness," Liz said.

"Morning," I mumbled. I didn't meet her eyes; I looked down, waiting for my bagel to finish toasting.

"I have to get to work, Paul, I was thinking maybe later I would go with you to a mall so you can get some more things, school stuff especially," Liz said.

"Oh, um…thanks," I said.

"I'll take him," volunteered Vanessa. Liz looked surprised…as I'm sure I looked as well. "I mean, I know what to get, I've been going to that school for three years, and I know where the mall is. And mom, you won't be getting home till late tonight, so why not?"

"Alright," Liz said. "Is that okay with you, Paul?"

"It's fine," I said, smiling at her to prove it.

"Alright, Ness, here's my credit card, use it for his purchases," she handed Vanessa a black credit card. "I'll see you guys later. Your dad is already at work."

Liz left and Vanessa and I were alone in the kitchen. She cut a bagel apart and leaned against the counter, obviously waiting for me to be done with the toaster.

"What happened last night…" she finally said.

"Can't happen again," I cut her off.

She turned her eyes on me, and I couldn't break away from her stare.

"We can't ever watch a movie together again?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Your brother saw me leaving your room last night," I said. Her expression didn't change. "He thought…"

"He thought what?" she asked. "That something had happened between us? And I'm sure you would have explained exactly what had happened."

"I did," I said. "And he said that your boyfriend would kill me if anything happened between us."

She hesitated. "Don't listen to him…I wouldn't let Edward do anything to you." She bit her lip, deliberating. "Look…I know that I just met you…but I feel like…I feel like I have feelings for you. I know it's weird and insane, but it's true…and I can tell-no matter how much you try to hide it-that you feel the same. Otherwise you wouldn't have put your arm around me last night."

The sound of my bagel popping out of the toaster made both of us jump. I put my bagel on a plate and moved out of her way. There was silence as I spread butter on my bagel. Neither of us said a word and it was an intense and awkward silence. I had no idea what to say to her.

She felt the same way that I did. That should have made me feel better.

I don't know how it made me feel

"And…I just completely made a fool out of myself," she finally said, taking a deep breath. "It's okay, now at least I know."

"You're right," I said quietly, hating myself for it. "Ever since I saw you last night, I haven't been able to get you out of my mind. Last night…when I took you up to your room, I didn't want to leave-not for any reason other than just being near you. It's been driving me crazy. But, do you know what's been driving me even more crazy?" she shook her head. "The fact that nothing can happen."

"Why can't anything happen?" she asked softly.

"You have a boyfriend, and a brother who is overprotective of you, and a father who I trust with my life more than I trust myself."

"Your relationship with him won't change regardless of what happens between us," she said, voice almost a whisper.

I didn't say anything. I'm sure she was right about that, but her brother and boyfriend would want my head if I did anything to her.

"We can't," I said, voice ringing with a tone of finality. "I'm sorry, but I can't, Vanessa, if something negative happened…"

She nodded. I could see the disappointment clear on her face. I tried not to let it bother me too much.

"I understand," she said, taking a bit out of her bagel. "But-"

She was cut off by her brother coming down the stairs.

"Good morning," he mumbled, tiredness clear on his face.

I nodded at him, and Vanessa turned back to me. "Will you be ready in twenty minutes?"

"What for?" Ryan asked.

"I'm taking Paul to that big mall in Seattle so he can get some stull for school," she explained to Ryan.

"Uh, yeah I can be ready in twenty minutes," I said.

She left the kitchen and went up to her bedroom. I finished off my bagel, avoiding eye contact with Ryan. I went upstairs to my room and got dressed.

Today would be interesting to say the least.