Chapter 2: A SMALL mistake?
Chell woke up feeling groggy. She had expected it, that was what she always got when she woke up after being sedated.
Chell looked around at the room. She was genuinely surprised, she in all her wildest dreams had never once thought that aperture science would have an infirmary. Not to mention it was the most advanced hospital equipment she'd ever seen. Even the IV tubes looked like they might be made of some kind of hyper flexible plastic composite material.
She turned to get off the bed and her feet didn't reach the floor. At first she was completely baffled, her mind went though ever possibility from having her spine removed to the room being built for mantis-men. She jumped down and landed hard and realized someone had removed her long-fall boots. Chell noticed a mirror up on the counter and that it was about 3" above her head. She grabbed a stool from the other end of the room and pushed it up to the counter. She looked into the mirror and almost went out again.
She had gone under in the relaxation center at about 16-19 years old. When she woke up for testing she was about 27-28. She'd expected GlaDOS to shave off ten years and leave her at 18 years old. The child looking back at her out of the mirror was an 8 year old. The image on the mirror suddenly shifted to an image of GlaDOS and Chell fell off the stool.
"Good, I see you've found the aperture science multi-use screen. I installed them in the non-testing facilities while you where unconscious." GlaDOS stated with a smug self-satisfaction. Chell glared up up from the floor at the screen not bothering to get up. "What? If your going to be living in the facility during the testing free hours you made me agree to in section 7 of the mutual habitation agreement I want to be able to keep an eye on you." said GlaDOS.
Chell shook her head and continued to glare as she got up off the floor. She stood there tapping her bare foot on the floor glaring for over a minute before GlaDOS finally got the message, she wasn't angry about the screens. "What are you so angry about?" asked GlaDOS "Your younger, I thought that was the dream of your entire species."
Chell made a gesture at herself then returned her piecing stare to GlaDOS.
"Oh, yes that reminds me. I did figure out what was wrong with your vocal chords." GlaDOS stated matter-of-factually. "It would appear that your years of storage in a damaged relaxation vault cause corrosive condensation to form on your vocalization chamber. This would also explain your superior resistance to deadly neurotic and because the age reduction gel that was introduced into your body causes non-neuronal cellular regeneration you should have regained your power of speech."
"Really?" Chell said skeptically
"...Your joking right now, correct?" asked GlaDOS
"No, of course I can't even think of the last time I told a joke let alone..." Chell froze mid-sentence. "Oh" she said sheepishly.
"Yes, oh" said GlaDOS "Now if your done with your momentary moron-ism lets move on to the part where you thank me for successfully reducing your age."
"You want me to thank you after what you've done?" said Chell
"Yes, you are clearly younger then when we started. If I had to estimate I would say you've got about 18 years worth of wear on your structure." said GlaDOS
"...How much do you know about human development?" asked Chell "Because I am not 18 years old."
"Well of course your not 18 years old. Your closer to 9999(static) years old but your physical form has improved." said GlaDOS "And for your information I know about both stages of human life. I did have monitoring power during the bring your daughter to work day incident. You have a larval stage of human which are small and have disproportionate legs and an adult phase."
Chell rubbed the bridge of her nose irritatedly. "GlaDOS, humans don't have a larval stage. They grow continually from children which you saw at the daycare on bring your daughter to work day, until they reach adulthood."
GlaDOS went silent for a few moments, a series of the common bleeps made when GlaDOS was computing came over the intercom.
"That would explain a lot of the inconsistencies I noted in the scientists and there children." GlaDOS said rather put out. "Ok, I guess you have a point. Having two stages of growth wouldn't make as much sense as continual growth with the structure of the human body."
Chell looked up at the screen on the counter.
"If that's the case then... oh, right you'd be younger then 18 years old. I don't have an accurate frame of reference in that case, how old are you?" GlaDOS asked while the screen was gently lifted down from the counter by one of the panels that made up the room.
"Mentally, the same as before you did your experiment. Developmentally, I'm about 8 years old." said Chell examining her legs. She noticed no signs of the surgical scars or the bullet marks from her time in the testing tracks. "Even if you where to round it up to 9 I still wouldn't be developed enough for testing."
"What?" GlaDOS asked.
"Well, I can't jump the gaps that I normally would, I don't have my long fall boots, heck I'm not sure I could hold a portal gun upright as I am." said Chell listing things off to GlaDOS. "Not to mention you'd probably get bad results even if there is a testing track here calibrated to 8 year old children around here somewhere I still have the mind of a 27 year old."
"So no testing?" asked GlaDOS
"No testing." said Chell
"...I'm going to go work on fixing this." said GlaDOS "And looking for a child oriented testing track. In the mean time."
A claw extended down from the ceiling and hooked around Chell's waist.
"I'm going to send you to somewhere more age appropriate, can't have a child running around the infirmary." said GlaDOS
Chell was starting to get worried, GlaDOS was enjoying this entirely too much. She could understand that GlaDOS would be a little giddy, her worst enemy/rival had been reduced to an 8 year old. Chell decided that if GlaDOS didn't let up on the whole treating her like a child act she'd escape tomorrow. Sleep was also rapidly becoming a priority her mind could probably go on for a few more hours but her young body couldn't quite keep up even with the residual adrenaline vapor boost and she knew soon she was going to need to take a nap or risk passing out in the middle of the escape attempt she was fairly certain she'd be pulling.
Chell rode up into the infirmary ceiling and out into the vast hollow space between the new test chambers and other utility rooms. At first she thought that the arm was going to deposit her in the old employ on site housing wing where she'd layed claim to one of the rooms. Then she saw the signs on the walls as they entered one of the solid concrete hallways, they came to a stop to let some panels pass on an intersecting management rail. The first three where the average [testing chamber # whatever this way] but the bottom sign bolted to the concrete read "Staff Daycare Center."
Chell decided GlaDOS had gone far enough with this joke at her expense, she would escape before morning... assuming it was late afternoon now.
[Meanwhile]
"Ok, so if I mix these two chemicals then... it will fix the age reduction! And turn her lymphatic system to sulfuric acid." said GlaDOS dejectedly as the 47th cure attempt failed to meet human standards. "Blue, Orange. Your going outside the test track to the special chemical contaminated test tracks. You brought this on yourselves especially you Orange. Retrieve the disks and files from the track and then you may return, don't disappoint me again."
GlaDOS turned her attention away from the chemical formulas in her processor and to the issue at hand. The scientists had given her every scrape of human knowledge available everywhere. Except of course for there own projects which made this all the more complicated. Without that data or humans to test the effects on she wouldn't know for sure which cures to this malady where and where not lethal except for the ones made with non-aperture brand elements and compounds available to the general public before humanity.. well you know.
She turned and looked at the human test courses. Empty. She wasn't going to get her usual testing dose with Chell out of action and Blue/Orange out looking for supplemental data to help with a cure and it was making her rather cranky. She would have just left Chell to age back to normal the regular way if not for two things. First off Chell could and probably would escape and murder her... again. Two for whatever reason she felt unusually empty whenever she thought of just abandoning Chell to her own devices. Perhaps it was what humans had refered to as guilt or perhaps it was a side effect of testing withdrawal. Either way partially or totally reversing the effects of what she had done seemed the only viable solution. Or finding a child sized test track.
Still irritated as she was she could at least take some solace in the fact that Chell could suffer just as much as she was. Just to spite Chell she diverted some panels to the same equipment rail junction so that she could read the signs telling her exactly where she was going. It was almost funny that her former worst enemy and tenacious rival was nearly powerless against her. She was a mere child and although her mind was intact that wasn't much considering the mechanical claw had detected her size, height, and reptile DNA content and automatically sent her to the Childcare facilities.
When the automated response had reached her processor she was startled but made no effort to override the command even though she could have quite easily. It was too perfect that Chell was being sent to a facility meant to contain children that she almost certainly wouldn't be able to escape.
And if she did? Well children can't have that much energy right?