Something—he wasn't sure what exactly—brought Jimmy from his memories and he realized he was cold. Once the sun began its descent, there was just nothing for heat and it got cold. He knew that any other night he'd be snug in the bunkhouse with his friends. But while he was busy building who he thought he wanted to be, he forgot that there's no erasing who he used to be, at least not in his own mind. There was no way to face his friends without them knowing the guilt and shame he carried and he just wasn't ready to tell any of them about it—if indeed he ever would be.
Looking up Jimmy noticed a shape approaching. On another day he would have already had at least one of the Colts clear of its holster but right then he was just too tired and cold and he just didn't care anymore anyway. Maybe he did care a little after all as he felt a huge wave of relief sweep over him when he realized it was just Kid showing up with the promised bedroll and plate of food. Jimmy blinked a few times, he hadn't even realized it was near to dark but, looking around now, he could see the first stars of the evening making their appearances.
"So you're not coming back tonight?" Kid asked when he was close enough to his friend. He had opted to dispense with greetings and pleasantries when he had seen the haggard look on Jimmy's face and noted that the other man's gun was not drawn. It worried him and he wondered if he could get Jimmy to let him stay. Kid watched as Jimmy only shook his head. Casting his eyes around, Kid could see that poor Sundance was still saddled so he handed the items he had brought with him to Jimmy and went to tend to the poor animal.
Once Sundance was seen to, Kid brought the saddle over to Jimmy and noticed that the food had not been touched. He knew full well his friend hadn't eaten since breakfast but he chose not to push it right then and set to collecting wood for a fire. He didn't know what was eating at Jimmy and might never but he knew that if roles were reversed that Jimmy would look out for him and for Lou too. He had looked out for them numerous times and there was just no way he'd let his friend, his brother, sit shivering all alone and hungry.
"So, Jimmy," Kid began settling himself on the ground next to his friend after getting a fire going. "I know you don't have to tell me a damned thing. I know that. But if you wanted to, I'm here."
His words were met by silence.
"Or we can just sit here and be quiet," Kid went on, "That's good too."
Jimmy only vaguely heard Kid speak but didn't register the words. The silence that fell between them reminded him of something, something he sometimes wanted to forget but right now felt he needed to grasp a hold of. He closed his eyes and let the memory come.
"Jimmy!" his father's voice called to him and he stuck his head out of the barn where he was working. "Jimmy, you got a visitor."
Heat spread over Jimmy's cheeks at seeing Delia standing behind his father and so transfixed was he by her dark curls and bright smile that he didn't notice the disapproving look on his father's face. He wouldn't have understood it if he had taken notice of it anyway. Jimmy just offered Delia an awkward smile. He had finished breakfast a while ago and set to work thinking perhaps she had changed her mind about coming. It was alright, he told himself. Sure she was pretty and made him feel giddy and dizzy and almost sick—in a good way—when he was close to her but he had only met her the once. He had helped her and she had been friendly in gratitude. That was it. It made perfect sense and she probably ought to spend time with girls her age and boys who understood her life. Still he didn't understand why there was a pain deep in his gut when he thought she wasn't coming to see him or why he had the thought that maybe when he was done with his chores he should go and call on her.
But here she was smiling and giving him a small wave, which he returned and then motioned her to him. She sauntered over, her smile widening as she drew nearer to him and for the first time he wondered if maybe she was affected by him as he was by her. He couldn't imagine that was the case but he liked the idea that maybe he could make someone else's insides tie in knots and make their heart speed so fast it felt like it might explode.
"Am I to assume your father didn't know I was coming to visit?"
"I, uh, wasn't sure you really were," Jimmy admitted shyly as he led her into the barn and set back to work. Delia found a barrel she could sit on.
"I said I was coming over," she huffed at him, "Are you calling me a liar, Jimmy Hickok?"
"No," he squeaked and openly cringed, "I just…well I thought…I don't know."
Delia's frown softened and her copper eyes sparkled.
"I guess you just don't know me well enough yet," she said brightly, "You did only meet me yesterday."
Jimmy smiled and continued his work for a short while content that he had not horribly offended her. He never thought she was lying, just that she maybe had reconsidered, changed her mind. He could have understood that after all.
"I don't think your father likes me very much," Delia ventured looking slightly concerned over the fact.
"He don't know you either," Jimmy pointed out, "He only met you just now. Maybe he'll get to like you."
"I sure do hope so," she said.
Jimmy could not believe her words. He couldn't understand why she cared one way or the other how his father felt about her but then he got what he thought was maybe an inkling of why it mattered to her and felt emboldened at the idea.
"Delia, you wouldn't maybe want to go for a ride or something after I finish my chores, would you?"
"Why Jimmy," she brightened, "I think that would be simply lovely. Maybe if you show me around I won't get so lost and then I could spend more time getting to know you."
Her eyes lowered as she said the last part and for some reason that simple movement made Jimmy's head spin. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to finish his chores with as much as she distracted him. He could not get enough of her dark lashes against her creamy cheeks or her sparkling copper colored eyes. And he still could think of little else but how soft her hair looked. If he could get her to keep spending time with him then maybe he could someday be allowed to touch that hair and find out for certain.
Delia sat a while longer, for the duration of time he spent in the barn but when he moved out to the pigs and chickens, she broke the comfortable silence that had settled between them. He at first was concerned that she would be bored if he didn't find something to talk about but she didn't try to start a conversation either. Occasionally he would feel eyes on him and look over to see her gaze quickly shift from him and he could linger his own glance long enough to see the blush creep up her cheeks. He couldn't even begin to describe what that did to his insides.
Delia sat for what simultaneously seemed like hours and seconds watching Jimmy work. It was early in the day but getting hot all the same and at one point he unbuttoned his shirt a few buttons and then pulled it over his head wiping his brow with the garment before draping it over the wall between stalls. Delia's breath caught in her throat. She'd never seen a man's exposed chest before. Of course she knew Jimmy wasn't yet a man but he was close and the manual labor he did served him well. It was all she could do to not stare at his muscles as they rippled under his tanned skin. When Jimmy moved to take his work outside to see to the needs of the pigs and chickens she spoke.
"I believe that once you are finished it will be close to lunch time, wouldn't you say?"
"Yeah, I guess," he muttered back realizing for the first time that he was half nude before a sophisticated lady. He wasn't highly knowledgeable about women beyond the bragging of his older brothers which he only half listened to since he'd been so young but he understood the significance of exposed skin and wished he wasn't so far from his shirt right then. He focused on Delia waving a fan toward herself. He could see the air moving gently the curls that trailed down the side of her neck.
"Well then I believe I shall set off for home," she told him, "I'll gather something for a picnic. I am sure you must know a nice place where two people could sit and enjoy a meal. You can come to collect me when you've finished."
Her words sounded sure but her eyes asked a question as if the final say in their plans was his.
"That sounds good, Delia," he managed and then was nearly knocked over by the brightness of her smile.
Jimmy had never gotten his chores done as quickly as he did that day. He started to head toward the barn to saddle Dusty but then stopped himself and decided to wash up a little bit first. He couldn't very well show up at her house wearing his dirty, sweaty shirt and smelling like the pigsty. He quickly washed up and put on the cleanest shirt he could find and then saddled Dusty and set out toward Delia's house. He was nervous and yet he couldn't figure out why. He only had a tiny inkling that perhaps he liked this girl. He worried he might have to meet her folks and that was what he figured scared him. If her folks saw him they would know he had no business spending time with her. Of course maybe Delia knew that already and he didn't even know why she would want to spend time with him when he obviously was too different. As he had combed his hair before setting out, he looked longer in the mirror. He knew a good deal of what he liked about Delia—though not all of what he liked about her—was how she looked. He tried to determine if maybe she liked how he looked as well. Staring at himself he couldn't see what the appeal might be but then he wasn't a girl.
As he rode closer to Delia's house he thought more than once about turning Dusty around and heading home. Then his thoughts went to how her smile had brightened when he said he would come and get her. He couldn't let her down. He needed to see that smile again. If she smiled like that to just think he would come get her, he could only imagine what smile he might get for showing up. Her smile was so beautiful and he just had to see it again and her eyes as well. If he thought about it enough then maybe he could figure a way to touch her hair. Maybe accidentally brush against it. Jimmy just had to know if it was as soft as it looked.
He needn't have worried about encountering Mr. or Mrs. Bell. Delia was waiting for him. He released a breath he didn't recall holding. She deftly hopped onto a stump next to Sundance and pulled herself onto her saddle. It still fascinated Jimmy. He had seen girls ride often enough but every one of them wore a skirt that was split for riding and rode astride the animal like he did. Delia actually rode sidesaddle. He had heard of that but had never seen anyone do it before.
Delia had been waiting for Jimmy in front of the house. Her mother was busy and her father was in town at work but still she felt awkward at the idea of him coming into the house. She couldn't shake the feeling that her family's standard of living made him uncomfortable and that was the last thing she wanted. He was so sweet to her; the least she could do was spare him discomfort. She only vaguely remembered when Elizabeth began spending time with young men and she had no idea what she was doing. Perhaps she wanted to someday have him court her but perhaps that wasn't meant to be. Either way, things would go much better if he wasn't uncomfortable around her. It might be necessary at some point for him to meet her family but things would be more solid between them by then. She saw him riding up and climbed onto Sundance's back.
"You wasn't waiting long, was you?" Jimmy asked her.
"Not long at all," she told him breezily, "Is the rest of the day ours then?"
"Yeah," he said, "I don't have to be back until supper."
"Lead on, Sir! I am sure you must be famished after working so hard this morning. I brought some of Mammy's fried chicken. I guarantee you've never had better."
They rode a while in silence until they came upon a small meadow. The grass was soft and there were flowers blooming.
"Is this alright?" he asked her.
"I believe it is perfect."
Delia hopped down and grabbed the basket that was tied to her saddle horn. She then unfurled a large cloth and began setting food out on it. Once they were sitting and eating, Delia decided to try to strike up some conversation. She knew that Jimmy was terribly shy about speaking to her and she guessed it was because his voice was not yet done changing and occasionally squeaked. She thought that was darling and would have loved to have told him so but she was sure she'd only embarrass him worse by bringing it up. So she always just pretended that he had not made the high pitched noise in the hopes that he wouldn't take note of it either.
"So, Jimmy," she began, "Tell be about the town. I'm afraid I don't know a soul here besides you."
Jimmy wasn't sure what to tell her. Sure he could give her the dirt on nearly anyone in town but those he might not have good things to say about were the ones most likely to travel in the circles Delia would be most at home in. He didn't want to say things that would cause problems.
Delia could see Jimmy's inner conflict.
"I'm not asking for rumors or speculation, Jimmy," she assured him, "But if something is the truth then telling me won't hurt a thing."
So he told her about nearly everyone in town. And Delia sat and listened as if his voice and words were the most beautiful she'd ever heard. Jimmy was sure he'd never had anyone look at him that way before.
As Delia listened to Jimmy's voice she realized she felt warm and safe like she hadn't known before or at least not in a very long time. Many of the people he talked about were of the sort she would have been friends with back in Charleston and she probably wouldn't have spared Jimmy a second glance but this wasn't Charleston. This was a new place with different rules and she could be something other than what she had always been. She knew she was happy to have befriended this young man and she would rather have and keep his friendship than to have that of any of the more well-to-do families in town. He was genuine and honest and sweet to her always.
"Thank you," she said softly when he had finished speaking. She was nervous about what she wanted to say next. "I know now I have made a wise choice for my first friend here." She wanted to say more. She wanted to tell him that she thought his eyes were the most beautiful she had ever seen and his dimples when he smiled or laughed made her insides flutter as if they'd just become home to every hummingbird in creation. She wanted to tell him so much but she just could not. It was too frightening a thought without knowing how he felt. She could not lose him and if sitting and speaking of their friendship was the best she could do then it would have to be enough because if she had to spend her days without those dimples and those eyes and the serious way he spoke of things and the sweet blush she saw creep across his cheeks when she caught him looking at her, she didn't rightly think she could manage. Of course she knew the same blush crept onto her own face when she thought of seeing him working in the barn that morning without his shirt. It made her feel things she didn't even know what to do about and think things she knew it was horribly improper to think.
Jimmy wasn't sure how to respond but for some reason his heart fell when she called him friend. He wasn't sure why that was. He liked being her friend but then he thought maybe there was something more. Because he wasn't sure what to say, he stayed quiet for a while until something occurred to him to ask.
"Delia," he ventured, "How did you come up with that name for your horse?"
"Sundance?" she asked and then giggled a little, "I know it sounds silly and terribly girlish, doesn't it? I guess just watching him run and the way the light and shadows move over his body reminded me of sun dancing across a wheat field." She looked at her hands in her lap. "Now that sounded silly. What you must think of me."
"That's beautiful," he said and he meant it. He'd only known a few who used words the way she did. His father could be one of them when he was talking about slavery and its evils and the preacher in town was the other. He'd never heard such talk from a girl. She used the same words as anyone else but somehow the way she put them together made beautiful pictures in his mind. He saw her smile of what looked like relief and was glad she maybe understood that he could never find her silly, at least not in a bad way. They talked a while longer and then decided they should head for their homes. There was no convenient stump or anything else to climb on so Jimmy offered to lift her into her saddle.
He walked to her and placed his hands on her waist and had every intention of just lifting her toward the saddle but then her eyes caught his and he couldn't pull his attention from them. She was so beautiful. He was sure he'd never seen anything quite so lovely in all his life. He could not help himself from bending his head and pressing his lips to hers. He'd never kissed a girl before and he hoped he was doing it right. He thought maybe he was when her lips pressed back into his own and her hands gripped his shoulders. He brought one hand from her waist to lightly touch one of her ringlets. Her hair really was as soft as it looked. They pulled away from each other smiling and a little out of breath.
When Jimmy looked into her eyes, it frightened Delia some. There was such intensity and something possibly akin to danger in his eyes that were steadily darkening. It made her heart beat nearly out of her chest and she wished she could loosen her corset laces without being noticed. She saw his head descend toward hers and a part of her wanted to run. She knew he was about to kiss her and she knew she shouldn't let him. They weren't engaged or even courting. She wasn't even old enough to be courted but then she really didn't want to care about such things anymore and no one was there to see anyway. Then his lips were on hers and she couldn't help returning the kiss. It felt so right to kiss him, so exciting.
After their kiss ended, Jimmy did lift her onto her horse and then turned to Dusty. He took a step toward the mare and then bent and picked a few of the columbine blooming there. He turned back to Delia and extended the flowers to her.
"They aren't quite as pretty as you but they come sort of close."
Ah, young love...so sweet. I hope this helps relieve the trauma I might have caused some of my faithful readers with the one shot I recently posted and the updates that have recently been written on one of my multi-chapter pieces.-J