WOAH. It's another one. These are really fun to do! All the jokes I know are about Europeans. I have maybe one good "Stupid American" joke, so if you have any, I'd be much obliged.
Characters in this Joke:
Northern Ireland
Prussia
Germany
There was once an Irish soldier named Rory in the English army. He was stuck in the barracks all day when they brought back a prisoner, a man named Ludwig. Rory was then stuck in the barracks for all the next day, watching this… Ludwig. In all honesty, Ludwig was pissing Rory off with his threats of revenge and his yelling at England (Who wasn't even here). Well, Rory had enough. He was getting sick and tired of stupid Ludwig and his stupid voice and stupid yelling about Gilbert and Italy and a whole bunch of shit. Rory just wants one damn cigarette. Or, he thinks after hearing Ludwig threaten England for the millionth time, maybe he just wants Scotland to have to watch Ludwig instead. Rory was not happy at being left behind while his brothers were actually doing something. When the rest of the soldiers came back, Rory shot them all a good glare and said, "I"m going down to the river to have a smoke. You watch the prisoner." As the personification of Northern Ireland, this was actually something he could get away with. He just might get yelled at by an angry brother later.
So Rory heads down to the river. Well, as it turns out, there's a very angry German by the name of Gilbert there, looking for his brother. Funny thing, Rory didn't know, but this Gilbert is brothers with Ludwig. Now, Rory would like nothing better than to give Ludwig a kick in the ass right back to Gilbert, but he knows that he needs to listen to his brothers and fight on his own side. So when Gilbert comes up to him, knocks the cigarette out of his hands, and yells "Have you seen Ludwig?!", Rory has to say no. Even though he'd really really like to say yes because fuck if Ludwig isn't the most annoying fecker he's ever had the displeasure of meeting in his life.
But his refusal makes Gilbert angrier. Rory doesn't really understand why Gilbert actually wants his angry German brother back, but he still says no when Gilbert asks him if he's seen Ludwig. Of course, Gilbert has to have seen the river at some point. He sticks Rory's head underwater for a bit and pulls it out.
"Have you seen Ludwig?!" Gilbert is distressed, but Rory refuses to answer with anything other than "No."
Dunk in the water.
"Have you seen Ludwig?!"
Gasp for air, "No."
Dunk in the water.
"Have you seen Ludwig?!"
Gasp for air, "No."
Dunk in the water.
"Have you seen Ludwig?!"
Gasp for air, "No."
Dunk in the water.
"Have you seen Ludwig?!"
Gasp for air, "No."
Dunk in the water.
"Have you seen Ludwig?!"
Gasp for air, "No."
Dunk in the water.
"Have you seen Ludwig?!"
Gasp for air, "No."
Until finally, Gilbert sticks him in for so long, Rory can actually see spots.
"Have you seen Ludwig?!" Gilbert shouts, red eyes narrowed in anger.
"No!" Rory yells. "Are you sure you left him down there?!"
Cheeky Irish ;)
Review? Please?