Surana stared at herself in the full body mirror in her room. The Banquet would soon begin, much to her dismay. She hadn't seen almost anyone all day. She had breakfast with Leliana and Lavellan in the garden. Zevran and Alistair joined her once Lavellan left to finish a few things before she needed to get ready for the banquet. After that, she spent most of the day in the Undercroft, adding the Grey Warden Insignia to her outfit. She forgot how much she hated sewing and dreaded that she declined learning from Wynn when they were still traveling together. She imagined Wynn standing above her and telling her to be careful not to prick yourself or don't put your face so close to the cloth while you're sewing. She swore Dagna was giggling that she kept sticking her tongue out in concentration.
She could hear, even from her room above the garden, the clinking of glasses, plates and utensils being set out and the yelling from the cook about where to put the food. She stared down at herself, hoping, the she wasn't wearing anything too outlandish. Ever since being recruited, she's worn the Grey Warden uniform proud. Even when she wasn't in uniform, she wore the colors. She doesn't remember what she looked like in her mage robes back in the circle, nor did she care. The new colors complimented her. She loved the outfit and was glad she bought it before arriving at Skyhold. Leliana had showed her the outfits they had at Skyhold and none of them were what she had in mind. She did take some jewelry Leliana had chosen for the evening, getting last pick after the Inquisitor.
She wore a long blue dark velvet skirt that rested low on her hips, two slits starting from the top of her thigh cut through the skirt in front of each leg. The skirt skimmed the ground when she leaned or walked a certain way. A gray belt wrapped around her lower waist a couple times before being tied, only half a foot from touching the ground. Royal blue vines patterned her grey corset, an armored silver harness attached to her left shoulder, chains attaching the next pieces that was bound around her elbow. A white bracer around her wrist had a sky blue Grey Warden insignia sewed against it, the same vines that pattered her corset danced around the insignia. A circlet headdress laid on her forehead, a cobalt blue gem hanging from a small chain. The circlet moved under her long wavy white tresses. Her right arm laid bare, vulnerable, which felt odd to Surana. She hadn't been out of her uniform in over five years. She moved back to the bed, picking up the cloak Leliana had secretly had made for her. The cloak was a royal blue but has wear and tear, just how Surana liked cloaks. Dull silver trimmed around the openings, a shinning silver clip to hold it together. Surana smiled and pulled it on, clipping it before leaving her room.
In the main hall she met with Varric and Zevran, who had met each other prior to Zevran's arrival at Skyhold. Surana knew The Crows were still after Zevran during the time she had starting looking for new of The Calling, she hadn't known that he went to the Free Marches to get away or that he met Hawke and saw Isabela again.
"Yes," Zevran nodded, a perverted smile forming on his lips as he remember seeing Isabela again, "She has not changed, other than now actually loving someone, that is."
"How is Isabela doing?" Surana asked, looking down at Varric.
"She's doing great, Hawke has really changed her. She said she would be coming tonight with Hawke and a couple other friends. They should have been here already." Varric shrugged, pouring more ale for himself.
"I still haven't met Hawke." Surana sighed, "That will need to change. I hope she makes it tonight."
"I'm sure she will." Varric smiled, "She could never pass up a good party."
Hawke, in fact, did arrive right before the banquet officially began. Decked out in her Champion Mage Mantle, her weapon placed proudly on her back and a look of sheer pleasure plastered on her face when she saw Varric again. Isabela did arrive as well, mumbling about drinking until she puked. Two other companions came as well. An elf, who she heard a lot of the past couple months for killing slavers, Fenris. He was near the Anderfels when Surana received the letter from Leliana about Corypheus and any idea's on how to defeat him. And Anders, the mage who was once so bright, one she vouched for, who took a spirit in and blew up the Kirkwall Chantry. Surana never would never say it aloud but she agreed with Anders actions. Kirkwall was a lost cause, she stayed in Hightown for a month before she found out Cullen served the Templar's there. She scurried out of Kirkwall as quickly as possible. She did see him, a couple times. He never saw her. She saw how tired he looked, constantly. He looked annoyed and irritated, malnourished and sick. Seeing him yesterday, though covered in his own blood, she saw how much better he looked. Leliana told her about how Cullen had stopped taking lyrium and how other ex-templar's that had joined the Inquisition were following in his foot steps.
She was happy to hear that. She was happy Cullen was able to break away from that life. Leliana told her of his struggle, how he almost went back to taking it but Lavellan had convinced him that he was more, deserved more. Surana reminded herself to find Lavellan during the banquet later and thank her for that. Surana had wandered away from her friends and new acquaintances, heading to a table that had glasses of champagne.
"Here," Alistair came up next to her before she retrieved a glass, holding one for her, "I've been looking for you."
"You found me." Surana thanked him and took the glass, sipping at the champagne. Surana moved around the table, leaning her back against a wooden pillar. Alistair silently followed her, standing next to her as they drank.
"How are you liking the banquet?" Surana smiled, tilting her head up to look at Alistair.
"Oh, you know," Alistair shrugged, his face scrounging up in disdain, "Politics. I think a Bann even asked me to marry his daughter. Leliana pulled me away before I could even come up with a nice way to say no."
"Is there a nice way to say no?" Surana raised an eyebrow, wondering.
"No." Alistair chuckled, Surana soon following with a small giggle. "You look beautiful, by the way. Warden colors and such. You do them good."
"Who? The Wardens or the clothes?" Surana sipped at her champagne, turning her head to look at the crowd. Music had started playing a couple hours ago, not music she liked but she was happy to see people dancing.
"Both." Alistair shrugged, drinking the last of his champagne, "I need more. Have you see Bull? I wanted to see if I can try that stuff he gave you last night."
"Maraas-Lok." Surana motioned towards the stairs, "I think he was in the main hall with Varric, Sera and Dorian. Don't drink too much though. My head is still spinning from last night."
Alistair bowed his head, "I will see you later then."
Surana didn't realized someone else had taken Alistair's place a couple minutes after his depart. Cullen stood, his face flushed and showed worry, next to Surana. He wore his usual attire, what Surana assumed was his usual attire. She'd never seen him out of his templar uniform. She hid her blush behind her glass. Cullen looked amazing, she was happy he wasn't wearing Templar armor. It brought back too many memories. More good then bad, for her at least. Cullen started speaking, Surana entranced by the new scar he had on his upper lip. She hadn't seen that yesterday. It would have been hard to since he was covering the lower part of his face. His nose was swollen on one side, a dark bruise covered it. She should apologize...again.
"You've—um..." Cullen cleared his throat into his fist, Surana closed her mouth, "You've...um—grown." Cullen inwardly cursed, averting his eyes away from Surana's saddened and confused eyes. Surana looked down at her champagne and lighting tapped her nails against the glass, "Yes, well, it has been almost a decade since we last saw each other."
Cullen nodded, gripping the pommel of his sword tightly, "It has been too long." Surana nodded, sipping at her champagne. The party around them was boring, at least to Surana. No one had offered her to dance, she assumed because of how menacing she choose to look tonight. Who wears armor and a cloak to a banquet? It wasn't like she was the only one. Cullen was wearing some armor and he had women gazing lustfully at him right now. No one brought her a drink, well, besides Alistair. None of the servants even offered her a finger sandwich. Surana opened her mouth to speak, but quickly shut it and chewed on her lip. She wasn't good at small talk. What would even be a good conversation starter?
How are you? Oh, that's great. Me? I'm fi—Oh, you have a girlfriend...and you're engaged...and expecting a child! Wow! Well, I'm just going to go over there and wallow in my misery.
Surana leaned her cheek against the half empty champagne glass, still chewing on her lip to think of a way to end the silence. She'd rather take fighting darkspawn again than feeling this helpless. She had come to terms with never seeing or hearing from Cullen again, even after Kirkwall when she wanted to reach out to him. She came to terms, even before she was officially a Grey Warden, that all that would happen between them was shameless flirting, on her part, and lust filled gazes. She looked at Cullen from the corner of her eye. He was shifting from foot to foot, barely noticeable from someone wasn't standing next to him. His eyes were focused on the ground, his lips moving a little – a conversation in his head? She watched his scar and started to wonder how he even gotten it. A Harrowing gone wrong? An abomination attack? Had he gotten that scar while in Kirkwall?
"The scar." Surana spoke, turning towards Cullen, "How'd you get it?"
Cullen looked at Surana, a finger trailing over his scar as a smile formed on his lips, "Kirkwall. I assume you know by now I was stationed there?"
Surana nodded, "Yes, I had heard. "
"During clean up after Anders blew up The Chantry, a few rogue templars attacked me, unhappy with my decision to support Hawke and defy Meredith." Cullen shrugged, "They weren't really good at fighting. There were five of them and they only got one hit in."
Surana covered her mouth, giggling, "Only one hit?"
"Only one." Cullen smiled.
Surana to tilt her head, leaning in a little to examine the scar, "I was worried when I heard about everything happening in Kirkwall. I...was worried about you."
Cullen turned his head away, rubbing the back of his head, "Surana...I wanted...needed to speak with you." Cullen averted his eyes, feeling his face heat up as Surana moved closer to him.
"Yes, Cullen?" She ducked her head into his line of sight, catching his gaze with her own, waiting for a reply.
"The last time we spoke...I wasn't in the right state of mind." Cullen struggled with his words as he spoke, skipping a word than going back realizing a skipped a word. He spoke for five minutes, much to Surana's amusment, until he finally got to his point, "I am sorry, Surana. I said things I should not have said."
"Cullen—"
"And," Cullen moved to her and looked down at her, hesitantly placing a hand on her shoulder, "You aren't like those mages. You never were...you will never be."
Surana looked at his hand on her shoulder, her expression unreadable, "Thank you, Cullen."
Cullen looked at Surana, confused, "Is something wrong?"
"Hm?" Surana blinked a few times, lightly shaking her head, "N-No. I just thought I would never hear that—those words. I...You have no idea how much it means to hear that."
Cullen smiled, pulling his hand away to rest back on the pommel of his sword, "I never thought I would be able to tell you, truthfully."
"I'm happy you did." Surana nodded, chewing on her bottom lip. "I—I want you to know, I forgave you. A long time ago. I know you didn't mean what you said—well, no, you meant it at that time but not...afterwards...The point is, I forgave you." Surana nodded to herself, averting her eyes back to the party. They stood in silence, again. She could tell Cullen had relaxed after he apologized, thankful that she couldn't hear his leather gloves tightening with the pressure of holding the pommel. She moved her head, staring at his hands. She realized that even after ten years, all she's ever seen was his face. She marveled at how much he's changed in 10 years. He was attractive then, the best looking templar she's ever come across, even 10 years later she agrees with that fact. She heard him clear his throat, pulling her back to the real world, she looked up at him sheepishly.
"After ten years," Surana looked back down at his hands, "I still only know what your face looks like."
"What?" Cullen was taken back by her comment, but realized it was true. "Do you want to see...other parts?"
Surana smirked, hearing his voice crack. She shook her head, hiding her smile behind her champagne glass, "Ten years later and your voice still cracks. Are you going to run away if I ask you to speak in private with me, Commander?"
Cullen didn't reply, just looked around the party, looking for prying eyes. Surana counted that as a yes before Cullen appeared behind her and whispered in her ear.
"I am no longer interested in speaking, Warden. Find me when you want to put your tongue to...other uses."
He was gone in a flash, a satisfied smirk on his lips as he watch Surana still trying to process what just happened when he walked to the top of the stairs leading to the tavern.
Never thought I'd see the day where he'd be the shameless flirt and I'd be the one wanting to run away like a blushing bride.
Surana turned her head towards the champagne table, setting her glass down before grabbing another and heading up the stairs towards the main hall. She needed to find Zevran, or Alistair...maybe Leliana?