"Where we're going we don't need roads huh?" Jeff tried not to notice the cars whizzing by in each direction toward and paced towards Troy. "You parked the time desk right in the middle of the highway!"
"It was a quote Jeff! Is Abed the only one allowed to quote stuff?" Troy snapped.
"Guys don't fight!" Annie jumped in. "The Time Desk is fine, we're fine, there's no reason to argue."
"It's fine because it's broad daylight and people naturally dodge road hazards, like time desks!" Jeff muttered then looked around before turning to Abed. "So… yeah, I know that I freaked out because the Time Desk travels in… uh… space instead of just time, but where and when the hell are we?"
"We're just a few miles away from Greendale," Abed hooked the lapels of his overcoat with his thumbs. "And it's exactly 24 hours ago from when we left."
"Wait what?" Jeff frowned. "So you have a time machine that can go anywhere and any time and you only took us back one day?"
"I have to agree with Jeff," Annie said. "I mean before he came down you were talking about taking me to the Renaissance on the Planet Barcelona VI."
"Dumbest planet name ever, might as well called it Uranus II," Jeff muttered, then held up three fingers and counted them down and slightly pointed just as Troy cracked up.
"Your Anus Too…" he glanced around and saw nobody else laughing. "I sometimes miss Pierce."
"The point is," Annie rolled her eyes then swayed a little when she spoke. "A-bed! Can't we go see something cool? Why just one day?"
"Cause Jeff's here," Troy said.
"Excuse me?"
"Troy's right," Abed said. "This is a test run with you. Of all the members of the group, Pierce is the only one we trust less with time travel."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Besides Pierce you're the most likely to pull a Biff Tannen."
"Yeah," Troy crossed his arms. "The Doc is right. We can't take you anywhere unless we know for sure you're not going to disrupt the timeline by boning Martha Washington."
"Why would I bone Martha Washington?"
"Have you seen Martha Washington? She was like the hottest wealthiest widow in Virginia in the mid 1700's."
"But she was married to George Washington! I wouldn't bone her! That's like boning America!"
"You would in between 1757 and 1759 when she wasn't married to him yet!"
"…how do you even know that… and no! I still wouldn't bone her!"
"Guys! Can we please stop talking about Jeff boning the wife of the Father of our Country?" Annie gritted her teeth.
"I agree with Annie, we don't need to worry about Jeff boning Martha Washington."
"Thank you Abed."
"What we really need to worry about is Jeff finding out winning lotto numbers and using it to strike it rich in the present or stopping Allan Connor from disbarring him or boning Jacquelyn Kennedy."
Jeff could actually feel a vein throb on his forehead and the tips of his fingers curled together slightly as he tried to calm down. Why the hell did he come on this stupid trip anyway? He glanced at Annie and refused to think anymore on it. Instead he just focused on trying to figure out a perfect rebuttal to Abed and Troy's assertions that he would bone famous people's wives. That's when his phone beeped.
"Careful not to answer that," Abed said. "That call is meant for the you of yesterday."
"It's not a phone call," Jeff shook his head and glanced at his cell. "It's the auto time update. Probably adjusting because it thinks it's yesterday… well it is yesterday… well today is… nevermind."
He narrowed his eyes at the time and date his clock said.
"Wait… you said we just went back twenty four hours?"
"Yep."
"Then why does my phone say it's 2008?"
Abed, Troy, and Annie all snatched out their phones and stared at them. Troy and Abed reacted first. Both of them rushed toward the Time Desk and stared down into it while arguing.
"I told you that you needed to set the coordinates right!"
"No! I did the coordinates just right Doc! It was you that didn't reset the calibration on the Timey Whimey Majigger!"
"Ugh, Troy this is just like when we got stranded on the Mirror Earth!"
"It wasn't that bad! Your other self looked bad ass with a goatee!"
A small clatter came from behind and Jeff turned his attention from the squabbling pair to Annie. Her phone lay in pieces at her feet and she cupped her hands over her face. Jeff took a quick step to her side, picked up the pieces of her phone and fitted the cover onto the back. Then he noticed her body trembling and her eyes darting back and forth.
"Annie…"
"It… it's today." Her voice barely came out as a whisper.
"No, it's four years ago," Jeff kept his voice down too. "Troy and Abed just suck at time travel."
"I looked at the full time and date Jeff," she said, obvious barely held back panic in her voice. "I'm going to be ODing in a couple of hours."
Jeff felt his eyes widen a bit and he glanced at his phone. It was exactly four years ago to the day. He grabbed one of her hands and was surprised at how cold it was. "Annie it's going to be okay…"
"You were the one to ask if I would change it if I could," she said distantly.
"Yeah… but…"
A siren fired off and he let go of her hand as a police cruiser pulled up. Troy and Abed scrambled to shut the "door" of the Time Desk and Jeff stepped up to them. There was no way they wouldn't ruin this and get them all locked up. Jeff didn't travel four years and several miles in the past just to go to jail.
"Uh, is there a problem officer?" Troy patted his pockets until he found his wallet and license.
"You're standing in the middle of the highway gathered around a desk," the officer said blankly. "Do you really need me to say why that's a problem?"
Abed opened his mouth but Jeff stepped in front of him and extended a hand to the policeman.
"Hi Officer… Byington Hello. I'm Jeff Winger, Attorney at Law," he held out a business card. He still carried them with him. "I'm these young men's lawyer. Maybe you've heard of me? I'm the best defense lawyer in the greater Denver area."
"Can't say that I have."
"Well, I'm sure you'll hear all about me from your super. I'm just curious as to what you plan on doing with these young men who just happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. I'd like to start getting my defense case ready as soon as possible."
"…I'm just asking them what they're doing with a desk in the middle of the highway…"
"Loitering then? And why do you assume the desk is theirs? Maybe they were just trying to get it off the highway. Is that what we're doing these days? Locking up honest to god good Samaritans? You don't look like the kind of guy that would do that Officer Byington. And why would you? You're not that cop are you?"
"What cop?"
"You know, the old Joe Friday type. The one that never cracks a smile, that guy that always does it by the book. Or the Hutch that's the straight man. Nah, you're the cool cop. The one on the force that everyone wants to be. You're Starsky, I can see it. You like to flash your badge to get the ladies don't you?"
"Well…" Officer Byington shrugged with a little half smile.
"And you don't want to have to lie to those honey's tonight when you're off duty and hitting a bar. Because nobody is going to be impressed by a story about busting a couple of teenagers for loitering. Especially when the epilogue of that story is that their lawyer got them out of jail within ten minutes. So tell you what Byington, I'm going to make this worth everybody's time, because these kids are small potatoes for me too. So check this out. Here's the address to my favorite bar. You go there tonight and tell them that Jeff Winger sent you. Trust me pal, dropping my name is like a stick of dynamite of awesomeness. You'll have to beat the ladies back with a stick. So how bout it Starsky?"
The officer eyed them for a solid second then took business card with L Street's address on it. He grinned at Jeff and slapped his shoulder then turned to Troy and Abed.
"You boys stay out of trouble."
With that he was gone and Jeff tugged on the collar of his shirt and smirked. "I still got it."
"That was awesome!" Troy gushed. "Dude, you like Jedi-ed him or something! I didn't think it would work!"
"Of course it worked," Jeff said. "It's 2008. My lawyer powers are at their peak in this time period. Seriously, I'll bet even Annie was impressed. Right Annie? Annie?"
Jeff spun around but she wasn't there. Troy and Abed looked around too but Annie was no where to be seen. Jeff had forgotten all about her when he worked his lawyer mojo. He almost stepped out onto the highway but stopped himself when he spotted a taxi roaring away. Annie stared back at him in the rear passenger window, her lips mouthed 'sorry'. Jeff started dialing her phone.
"Jeff what's going on?" Abed grabbed his shoulder. "Why is Annie running off like that?"
"Quiet," Jeff stepped away. The phone kept ringing and ringing until he got Annie's voicemail telling him in a sing song voice to leave a message. Jeff tore the phone from his ear and began texting.
"Dude, where's Annie going?"
Jeff sent the text and sighed. "Guys, today isn't just any day in 2008. Today is Annie's OD Day."
Abed just widened his eyes and Troy started pacing.
"Oh crap oh crap oh crap! You don't think she's going to… we need to get to… we need to.. to…"
He grabbed his wallet again, whipped out a photo of the study group and held it in front of his face.
"Okay, we're all still here! But we got to do something! They could start fading at any moment!"
"We don't even know what she's going to do," Jeff said, though every instinct was telling him to hail another cab and tell the man to chase her down. "She might be going to the hospital, she mentioned some stuff about that earlier."
"She might also be going to stop herself," Abed said. "We can't take that chance. We're going to have to split up. Troy, get down to Greendale General, Jeff and I will head to the highschool."
"Got it!" Troy ran into the middle of the road waving his hands at a taxi.
"Jeff, come with me into the Time Desk," Abed said.
Without any protest, Jeff followed him down the spiral stairs. When they reached the bottom he still had to take as second to adjust to the thing. It was massive on the inside. Other staircases led to other rooms and it all seemed to be planned around a central console, in the middle of that was some sort of glass case that housed… something. He never really got an explanation other than it was important. And that all fed into what Jeff recognized as a flux capacitor. He still wasn't sure what to make of it all.
Abed slapped a couple of levers and the engines whined.
"Wait! What are you doing?" Jeff rushed up to him. "You're not taking me back are you!? Because I sure as hell won't let you! Annie's my friend and I'm not leaving 2008 unless she's with me! I don't care if you want to be the big damn hero Abed! I'm the one that makes sure Annie's okay you got that!?"
"Jeff…" Abed raised his brows a bit. "I'm moving the Time Desk off the road and closer to Riverside high. We're not traveling in time and I'm not taking you back without Annie."
"Oh…" Jeff had to shove thoughts of beating Abed up away.
"You know you really have some issues right?"
"Yeah… whatever. Are we there yet?"
"Almost," Abed left the controls and motioned for Jeff to follow.
…
"Okay… why am I dressed like this?" Jeff muttered as they walked toward the school.
"Because we can't risk you being recognized," Abed said. "Both Annie and Troy attend this high school. Neither of them meet you until you form the study group. We can't interfere with that. It could mess up the entire timeline."
Jeff scratched just at the edge of the fake beard he wore. The spirit gum would come unglued if he actually touched the itch so he had to try and get the edges. The glasses annoyed him to no end as well. Okay the entire ensemble bugged him. Slacks, a tweed jacket and a bowtie. What was up with that?
"Okay, so why aren't you disguised?"
"I won't stand out the way that you will, Troy and Annie won't give me a second glance."
At this Jeff smirked. "Well I do have a memorable face."
"I was actually more worried about the fact that you'd stand out by being an adult that's not a teacher in a high school."
"So your answer to that is making me look older? Abed, if anything we should use the time desk to take a few years off so I can blend in."
Abed lowered one brow below the other then rolled his eyes, they stopped at a curb just across from the school. "It doesn't work like that Jeff. The disguise will work fine. There's no way to hide that you're not a teenager so if Annie or Troy see you all they'll see is a bearded, bespectacled adult. That should be enough to throw off their memories, provided you don't interact with them."
Jeff managed to just frown and barely resisted the urge to whip out his pocket mirror and see for himself just how old this get up made him look. Instead he focused on the task at hand: Find Annie before she did something crazy… or make sure that Annie does something crazy. Abed had tried to explain it all to him but all the talk of paradoxes and anomalies flew over his head and it didn't help that halfway through Abed's explanation he started using an English accent.
Come sail Away by Styx fired from Jeff's pocket and he retrieved his phone.
"Troy, did you find her?"
"Um… Jeff?"
"Troy?"
"Jeff… uh… what's Britta's address?"
Jeff flattened his brows down and looked at Abed as he spoke. "You're supposed to be at the hospital. Why do you want to know where Britta lives?"
Abed's eyes widened and he reached for the phone, Jeff took a step back. "Troy. Why do you need Britta's address?"
"Okay, I kinda got lost and stopped at a bar for directions and I… well Britta's here."
"What? It's ten in the morning? What's Britta doing in a bar?
Abed had his on phone now and was shining some sort of penlight on it, then at Jeff's. Suddenly, he broke into the conversation as well.
"Troy, it's Abed! You're with Britta!? Please tell me she hasn't seen your face!"
"She's kinda… hey come on Britta! Stop! Seriously! We haven't even met yet! You still have to have paintball sex with Jeff before you even consider me! Stuff like this doesn't happen until we're at Greendale!"
"Greendale! Ha! Like I'd ever go there…" Britta's voice slurred her words through the phone. "…wait… Greendale…. Hmmm…"
Jeff and Abed exchanged looks, completely oblivious to the pack of high school students that approached the crosswalk.
"Troy! Get out of there right now! You're becoming a walking paradox generator!"
"I'm sorry guys! I'm really sorry! I'm trying! She's just seriously hammered! She can barely stand! Jeff, just give me her address so I can get her home!"
Abed took a deep breath. "Okay… you say she's really drunk? Maybe she won't remember any of this. Jeff."
Jeff shook his head and started telling Troy how to get to Britta's apartment. As he did his eyes trailed to the curbside just in front of them. One lone student rocked uneasily at the curb's edge as if working up the courage to rush after her classmates that walked in unison with the crossing guard halfway across the street. The instant the lady spotted the girl she urged the kids by her forward and waved the straggler to come over. The girl looked both ways then started toward the crossing guard. The lady held her stop sign high above her head for only a moment longer before she grinned horribly and ran the opposite direction, leaving the girl to face the morning rush by herself.
Without even thinking Jeff tossed his phone at Abed and dashed onto the street. The girl hugged herself and jumped every time a horn blared at her and she dodged yet another car. Jeff spotted an oncoming school bus, which he swore was accelerating at the girl. He pumped more speed into his legs and latched onto the girl as soon as he reached her. The pair of them toppled onto the opposite sidewalk while some driver flipped them off. What was wrong with people in 2008?
"You oka…"
The words stuck in Jeff's throat when he saw the girl's face. It had taken a second to recognize her. There were about forty pounds more of her than he'd ever seen, and her face was pockmarked with acne. But he'd seen tears in those Disney blue eyes more times than he liked to admit.
"It's my fault… I shouldn't have crossed…" she sobbed with her unmistakable voice. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Are you hurt? I'm sorry!"
Jeff had no idea what made him do what happened next. It was Annie after all and she was just a frightened seventeen year old. Jeff had never seen her like this. Sure he'd always thought she was young, but she looked young, and not just in the way her cheeks were chubbier and chin less defined, but also in the wide eyed youth in her eyes. More than he'd ever seen. So really how could he help what happened next?
"I'm not forty!" he blurted out.
"I'm sor… wait what?" seventeen year old Annie stopped and focused on him.
'I mean I'm okay," Jeff rolled off of her and sat up, placing his hands on his bent knees. He tried not to look at her but found that he couldn't. It was all too weird. "What about you? Are you okay?"
Annie's lip quivered and she burst into even more tears. "This happens to me all the time! I… I have to go!"
Before he could stop her, Annie bunched her book bag in her arms and rushed away. Jeff threw himself to his feet but by then Abed was across the street and caught him by the arm. Jeff struggled a half second against it before the grip tightened.
"That was her, wasn't it?"
"Yeah," Jeff nodded, not taking his eyes off of the long brown hair that jostled over hunched shoulders.
"You didn't tell her your name or anything?"
"I…"
"Jeff, please tell me you didn't give yourself away!"
He finally shook his head and reminded himself to breathe. His head still spun by how strange it was seeing her like that. She'd locked eyes directly with him. His insides twisted from what Abed had told him… that could be bad.
"I don't think she'll remember me," he lied.
"You might be right," Abed stooped down and lifted a piece of paper from the sidewalk then handed it to Jeff.
"An adderall prescription," Jeff's eyes roamed over the paper. "Looks like it's been filled this morning."
"She's probably already used half the bottle," Abed said. "Who knows what she'll remember at this point. We're getting really lucky… and we can follow her. Our Annie won't be far away now."
"Our Annie," Jeff repeated.
Abed lifted his phone back to his ear. "Troy! Sorry, we had an… incident. Now listen to me very carefully. Whatever you do, do not let 2008 Britta take advantage of you! The space time continuum may depend on it!"