I really wanted this to be my 5th story, so here it is and this chap contains some stuff from 'The Heart'.

1 more thing: I wanna get this straight people: I HATE Orihime and I'm sorry for those that love her and her paired with Ulquiorra but I just find her unbearable. This is not a pairing story-meaning no Inoue or Kurosaki, okay?

"What is heart? If I tear open your chest, will I find it there? If I crack open your skull, will I find it there?"-Ulquiorra Schiffer

Ulquiorra No Yushuu

'That is what a heart is?' I asked myself as my body turned to ash that blew in the wind. 'How morbid that I finally learn what it is, only to die in the end…

There are still so many things I don't understand and still don't.'

Honestly, I wanted to laugh, scream and beg; I wanted to laugh at my foolishness as well as his; I wanted to scream at how much my despair engulfed me making me want to die and lastly, I inwardly begged for him to kill me.

Yet oddly enough, I wanted to cry too, though I don't know why-it is beyond my analytical comprehension.

I hear that Kurosaki brat shout again, "This isn't how I wanted to win!"

That expression he had on his face, what is it? Pain? Misery? Or perhaps, despair? His face was obviously filled with unshed tears and he was on the breaking point.

'Is he going to cry? I am his enemy, so why? I don't think that I will ever understand this piece of trash…'

He told me that he didn't want to kill me, why? It is my dying wish and he's denying it? I attacked his friends and comrades and then defended them from his transformation. I sighed internally, keeping up my pokerface.

'Doesn't he understand how much I want him to kill me? At least give me the honor of dying like a Hollow or fulfilling my last wish.'

Of course he denies it, I suppose it was pointless of me goading him…

Even in the end, he doesn't do what I want.

Now, there's nothing left for me except a possible reincarnation; only to be in despair and feel the chains of Nihilism again. I've lost hope for the myself and the world; when I finally begin to understand the 'heart', an endless cycle will begin.

This may be a theory but nonetheless, nihilism.

I close my eyes and reopen them before I look at the black sky in Hueco Mundo. Yet oddly enough, with my despair is a insignificant glimmer of hope; a hope that maybe my next life will better. Though, I don't know for sure. I look back on the world and everything I've done as an Espada-as ephemeral as it was-I've done all I could and can't do anything now. With all the regenerative abilities that I have, I can't exist in this world any longer and I feel the last of my body become one with the wind.

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