DISCLAIMER: I neither own Glee nor the characters. They are the property of Ryan Murphy and FOX. This is purely for fun. Enjoy!
A/N: This fic has me feeling positively giddy!
Chapter Two: Instinct
He didn't sleep well at all that night; he was restless in his slumber and fought against the horrible nightmares that haunted him while he slept. Glowing red eyes, tracking him down mercilessly as he tried to run through the dense forest that surrounded him. When he was running, he was free. When he was running, the wolf was in control.
Pumping his legs faster and faster in his perpetual nightmare, he embraced the monster he had become as the trees passed him by in a blur; his feet barely touching the ground as he flew through his sanctuary. In between the trees and the grass he was moving so fast he couldn't be seen, and the glowing red eyes could no longer see him as he passed through the woods like a shadow in the night.
He woke up in a drenching sweat, his sheets soaked with perspiration as the intensity of the nightmare startled him out of his distressed slumber. He took a deep breath as he stretched out his limbs and could smell the coffee brewing downstairs, along with the toast that his mother was burning. Trying to ignore the overload of scents he begrudgingly got up from his bed and hesitated before looking at himself in the mirror. Last night he had finally calmed down long enough to stop the changes before he passed out from exhaustion. This morning his eyes were still glowing red, and nothing he tried could make it stop.
"Dammit!" He yelled, slamming his fist down on the marble of his sink in the bathroom and cracking the impenetrable stone right at the corner. He stared at his fist and there wasn't even a scratch on his skin. It didn't even hurt.
"Finn?" He could hear his mother calling him from downstairs and stared at his red eyes in the reflection of the mirror. "I heard a noise, are you alright up there?" He could hear her walking upstairs and it sounded like a marching band was stomping outside of his door. He quickly grabbed his pair of sunglasses off of his dresser, threw them on his face, and leaped back into bed, quickly covering his face with the sheets.
"I'm fine, Mom," he said weakly, hoping he could feign sickness and skip school altogether. Going to school meant having to see Rachel, and face up to the phenomenon that had happened last night. What was he supposed to say? Sorry I scared you last night, Rachel, but I'm a freaky wolf-man now and I can't control it. "I don't feel well today. I think I might stay home." He coughed for affect and his mother came to his bedside and placed a hand on his forehead, pulling it back immediately when she felt his temperature.
"Oh my God, Finn, you're burning up!"
"I am?" He said, surprised.
"Is Finn staying home from school today?" Kurt poked his head into his room and Finn ducked under his sheets even further. Kurt always noticed everything, so he couldn't let his step-brother see him wearing sunglasses; he would know something was wrong. "How come he gets to stay home the day before the big game but I can't stay home the day of my French exam?"
Shit, he thought to himself, Beiste is going to kill me if I miss this practice. . .
"Because Finn obviously has a fever and doesn't feel well, Kurt. You wanted to stay home because of a bad hair day."
"Every young person needs a day off too, you know! My excuses are just as valid as anyone else's and it's not my fault that the weather is too humid for my pomade to set properly."
"Enough, Kurt. I'm calling the doctor for Finn so he could get checked out and I'll have to explain to Beiste that her quarterback will not be attending practice." Doctor? He didn't want to see a doctor like this! "If the fever doesn't go down he might have to miss the game."
"No way!" Finn said, pulling the sheets off and jumping out of bed with the sunglasses still on. Tomorrow was a division game and freak or not, he had to play. "I don't want to see a doctor, Mom. I'm fine, really." He rushed into the bathroom with some clothes to get dressed. He would rather sit through a day at school than risk having a doctor see him like this. If he started having problems, he would just find a place to hide until it went away. As for Rachel, he would just have to try and avoid her until he learned how to control his problem completely.
"Is he wearing sunglasses inside?" Kurt asked his mother as they exited the room, leaving him alone to get dressed while he sighed in relief that they hadn't seen anything strange.
He spent the next ten minutes staring at his reflection in the mirror, trying to figure out how to make the changes stop before he had to leave for school. If he learned to control it he would be able to feel normal again, but he didn't know where to start. So far only his eyes seemed to be different, so he hoped he was somehow getting better at this, even though he still didn't know what was happening to him. Every scenario he had considered was too ridiculous to actually believe, but he was running out of options as images of the animal attack last month flashed through his mind.
The more he thought about the animal, the wolf that had bitten him, the more his body started to react and change. A pain in his jaw signified that his fangs were pushing through, and the mirror in front of him confirmed it as his hair started to grow longer and thicker around his face. There was a pressure in his head that started to build until his eyes were a pulsing crimson red, and he closed them in hopes that he could stop the change.
Relax, Finn. Calm down. For some reason he heard Rachel's voice in his head trying to comfort him, and he thought about the way she smelled and the feeling of her in his arms when he held her close. His heart ached when he thought about the fear he saw on her face and the scent of it, clogging up his nose with it's bitterness. He didn't want her to be afraid of him, but now it was too late. She deserved better than a monster, he thought to himself as he took deep, steady breaths.
When he opened up his eyes once more, the reflection staring back at him was as normal as he remembered it. Letting out a huge sigh of relief, he held onto the calming thoughts in his head as he finished getting ready for school.
With Rachel on his mind he set off to start his day, wanting to see her and somehow avoid her at the same time.
She was looking for him, he could tell. From the second he had entered the school he had been trying to avoid Rachel, but she was the one on the hunt today; trying to find him and corner him about the events of last night. Since he still didn't know how to explain it to himself, he was trying to avoid the subject altogether, thus avoiding Rachel in the process. Every time he entered a hallway, her fragrance lingered in the air, and it was so powerful to him that he could even pick up traces of it in the cafeteria, standing out amongst the scent of food and the various people that were packed into the space. It was an annoying talent, but a valuable one, since he could smell her coming and react accordingly. Every time he caught a whiff of her scent he ran in the other direction, even going so far as to skip English altogether because he shared the class with her. He knew he would have to pay for it later, but he couldn't be bothered to care.
He hated avoiding his own girlfriend, but he couldn't see any other option as he kept fighting against his overwhelming instincts all day long. Every time he felt the changes begin he tried to fight it, but his eyes had been glowing all day. Luckily for him, his teachers let him get away with wearing the sunglasses in class so he didn't have to worry about anyone seeing his eyes. It was his teeth and hands he was more worried about, and he barely spoke to anyone all day long.
Finally, when three o'clock came, Finn said a silent cheer of victory under his breath as he made it downstairs into the locker room. He had successfully completed his day without changing or running into Rachel, and he was enthusiastic as he started to change in the locker room, humming a tune under his breath.
Football practice was the standard routine. They ran drills while Finn warmed up his arm and he took some time to run around the track and get rid of some of the anxious energy that had been building up since the end of classes. Feeling the wind through his hair, whipping against his face, was exhilarating as he felt the power pump through his muscles.
"Hudson, let's start running some plays! You're not on the damn track team, you're the quarterback! Act like one!" Beiste yelled at him while he finished his light run, and he jogged up to the rest of the team in full uniform, slapping the helmet onto his head and securing the chin strap. He hesitantly took off the sunglasses, and hoped that no one could see his eyes through the gear. Running had cleared his mind, but his new condition still made him nervous.
Beiste gave them their usual pep-talk, emphasizing how important tomorrow's game was against Toledo. Finn was feeling the pressure whenever Beiste's eyes landed on him, and he tried to shake off the nervous energy that was starting to accumulate inside of him. Clenching his fists, he fought as hard as he could against the changes and tried to stay as focused as possible.
"Alright, I want all of team A in position. Hudson, run the plays we went over on Wednesday."
"Yes, Coach." He gathered his team together and ran over the play with them once before getting into formation. With Puck in front of him and Mike to his side, he thought he was fully covered when the ball snapped into his waiting hands. Pulling it back into throwing position, he was searching for a open when he was suddenly sacked hard, landing on the ground like a ton of bricks and having all of the air pushed out of his chest. More guys piled on top of him and the weight was almost unbearable. He gasped for air, losing focus, and his vision started to go red. In that moment something inside of him snapped, and all of the control that he'd been cultivating throughout the day dissipated like it was never there.
"Get off of me!" He snarled loudly, a growl erupting from the depths of his throat. The immense weight that had piled on top of him now felt like nothing, and he pushed the football players off of him like they were weightless. One kids flew up in the air and landed a few yards away from where Finn had been tackled; the crack of bone echoing across the field like the crack of a whip. By the time he made it back to his feet he was the center of attention, and when he looked down at the claws that were lengthening on his hands, he knew he had to get the hell out of there, fast.
"Hudson, what the hell, man?" The kid moaned, grabbing his shin. "I think you broke my leg."
"That kid's an animal." He could hear some players whispering to each other and he couldn't even deny the accusation. He was an animal. A dangerous one. Coach Beiste ran onto the field with a first aid kit and called the boy's parents. What was he supposed to do now?
"I'm. . .," he hesitated, glancing at Puck and Mike who were staring at Finn like he was a stranger. When he made eye contact with Puck the mohawked boy jumped slightly from shock, and Finn knew that his friend had seen his glowing red eyes. "I'm sorry. I gotta go." He turned around and bolted at full sped towards the locker room, slamming the door shut behind him while he started to pace and figure out his options.
Maybe he should stop coming to school altogether? Maybe he should just run away so he could never hurt anyone ever again? He didn't mean to break that kid's leg, honestly, it was just his instincts that were overwhelming him and he couldn't control it. He didn't know how to control it!
"Hudson!" He could smell Puck before he heard him coming, which was unfortunate for him since Puck's jock strap had probably never been washed. "Yo, Finn! I saw you come in here, I know you can hear me."
"Go away, Puck," he said, trying to keep his voice even and tamper down the gritty snarl that had settled in his voice. He ran his tongue over his teeth and could feel his canines lengthen into fangs. As Puck slowly approached him he turned away, facing the rows of lockers so his friend couldn't see his face. He punched the locker in front of him and when he removed his hand, there was a dent in the metal the size of his fist.
"Listen dude, I don't know what's been going on with you lately, but what I saw was just plain weird."
"Just leave it alone, Puck. You didn't see anything."
"Hey," Puck said, sounding offended. He wanted to just run away, but he couldn't risk Puck seeing his face as tensions grew higher. "I might have skipped every math class since Pre-Algebra, but I know what I saw. And I just saw you throw around four linebackers like they were stuffed with fluffy cotton balls."
He was losing control of both his emotions and his body as the changes continued, and no matter what he tried he couldn't get it to stop. The anxiety continued to build as Puck stood there, refusing to leave without an answer. He stepped forward and lightly punched Finn's upper arm, hoping to get a response or a reaction from him. Well it worked, because the simple action made his vision go blood red as he turned on his friend and team-mate with a snarl.
Grabbing him by the shoulders, he lifted Puck straight off of the ground and slammed his back against the rows of lockers, Puck's eyes widening with shock as he looked directly into Finn's glowing red ones. "I said, leave me alone!" He roared, screaming at Puck at eye level.
"Dude, what the fuck is wrong with your face?" Puck said, seemingly unfazed. He growled again as a warning before he suddenly dropped Puck to the ground. "Ow! That hurt asshole!" Something caught his attention, so he ignored Puck's indignant outcry and instead focused his senses so he could pick up on the intrusion. He could hear footsteps entering the locker room and realized that more than one person was coming. Puck was still staring at him and his deformed face while Finn started to panic. It was bad enough that someone had already seen him, now the whole school was going to know he was a freak!
"Get out of here," Finn turned to face Puck and the boy was pointing for the back exit to the locker room. "I'll cover for you, just go." Finn made eye contact with his friend and nodded in gratitude before he left.
"Thanks, man. I owe you."
"You're damn right you owe me! I better get an explanation or else I'm coming to school on Monday with a box of Milk-Bones, just for you."
He didn't appreciate the joke at his expense, but Finn nodded once more before heading out of the back exit. Running through the corridors, he tried to find a safe place to calm down and try to focus, and headed for the auditorium, which he knew would be empty. When he cracked the doors open and found it completely vacant, he let out a huge sigh of relief and headed out onto the stage, which always helped him clear his head. For the first time all day he felt completely at peace as he stared out into the empty seats and breathed in the calming scent in the air. It reminded him of Rachel, probably because she was always here, and he could feel the anxious energy melt away as his body slowly went back to normal. He pulled the football jersey over his head, removed his gear, and plopped it all down on stage while he sat in his pants and t-shirt, looking out into the vast audience with a million questions running through his head.
How long was he going to be like this? Would it ever stop? Would he ever learn to control himself or should he just drop out of school altogether? How was he ever going to explain this to Rachel?
"Finn?" The soft, familiar voice echoed throughout the auditorium and Finn turned around to see Rachel standing on stage left, looking at Finn with sadness etched deeply into the contours of her face. She approached him slowly, and even though Finn wanted to run from her, the broken look in her eyes kept him in his place. At least now he looked normal; the scent of her salty tears was stuck in his nose and he could almost feel her sadness radiating off of her petite frame.
She was pissed at him; he could definitely tell. He would be pissed too if Rachel was the one sneaking around and avoiding him, so he knew he owed her some kind of explanation, but what would he even say?
"Hi, Rachel," he said, when she had finally approached him. Her response was a deep frown and a swift slap in the face. It didn't hurt him, but he kind of wanted it to.
"Hi, Rachel?" She repeated, incredulous. "You left me at school alone last night filled with questions, you spent all night out somewhere and refused to answer your phone, and today you've been avoiding me like the plague and all I get is 'Hi, Rachel'?" Her voice held a lilt of hysteria and he winced as her words hit home. She started jabbing him in the chest with her pointer finger for affect and the guilt rolled through him in waves.
"Rachel, please let me explain."
"Oh, you're going to explain, Mister! You're going to explain everything to me right after I do this." She looked like she was going to slap him again, but instead she immediately jumped into his arms, shocking him while he balanced their weight. He caught her while she latched her arms around his neck, finding his lips and kissing him until he snapped out of the shock long enough to reciprocate. Peppering kisses along his cheek and jaw, she held onto him like her life depended on it as her beautiful scent filled his senses.
"I was so worried about you," she whispered into his ear. He could smell the pungent odor of salt mixing in with her natural scent and it pained him to know that she was so upset. He held onto her just as tightly, mindful of his strength, as he took the comfort she offered him so willingly.
"I'm sorry, babe." He said, burying his nose in her hair and inhaling deeply, losing himself in the blissful scent.
"I thought something happened to you again. I thought you were hurt."
Stroking her hair softly, he held onto her like his own personal life-line, the anchor that kept him grounded when he his whole life was lost at sea. "I'm not hurt, Rachel. I'm fine," he lied. He might not have been hurt, but he definitely wasn't fine.
"I had such terrible nightmares last night, Finn." Sh said, rubbing the hair at the back of his neck and making goosebumps erupt down his arms. "I'm scared."
"What did you dream about?" He asked, wanting to keep the focus off of him for a while.
"You," she said, her voice cracking from the tears. "You were being chased, Finn. You were hurt and there was an animal chasing you and there was blood everywhere." He shuddered as she explained her dream in detail. "And your eyes were red, just like they were last night."
His heart practically stopped beating when those words escaped her lips, and all of his worst fears were coming true as she looked in his still brown eyes for an explanation.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Rach," he lied as he placed her back down on the ground. He missed the feeling of her in his arms instantly, and the comfort that her scent provided him.
"Yes, you do! Don't you dare try to lie to me, Finn Hudson, you know exactly what I'm talking about."
The tension he had felt before was starting to return as he stared down his petite girlfriend, the only person he couldn't lie to. They had made a promise to one another when they started dating again; no more secrets, no more pretending. Wasn't that exactly what he was doing to her right now? Lying and keeping secrets and pretending?
"Rachel," he said as his voice suddenly became grity and raw. He was changing again and even though he was surrounded by Rachel's calming scent he couldn't make it stop. "Something is happening to me. I don't know how to stop it." Her scent wrapped around him again as she slowly walked toward him, placing a small hand on his cheek so she could tilt his head up and look in his eyes.
"Shh," she said softly, even though he could hear her loud and clear. "They're red again." How could she possibly be so calm when he was in the middle of having a nervous breakdown? Shouldn't she be afraid? Why wasn't she running away screaming?
Deep brown clashed with violent red as Finn and Rachel stood on stage together in silence, Rachel staring at his face intently while Finn tried to make the changes stop. Nothing he tried was working, and he felt the painful ache in his jaw that signified the emergence of his fangs. He didn't know if she even noticed, but she didn't seem to care as she closed the distance between them slowly, standing on her tiptoes so she could reach his face.
Before their lips made contact, he pushed her softly away from him. "W-What are you doing?"
"I want to try something," was her simple response before she closed the distance between them, resting her lips on his and kissing him with a torturous kind of hesitance. With a strangled growl, he lifted her back up into his arms and reciprocated in earnest, coaxing her lips open with his tongue so he could taste the sweetness of her mouth. She was willing to comply as their bodies melded against one another, Finn supporting her weight while she wrapped her legs around his torso for support. He lost all control of his emotions in the bliss of her arms, where her scent wrapped around him like a caress. There was no need to fight against his nature anymore as he succumbed to the pull of instinct and lost himself in the bliss of their love.
Slipping his hands under her shirt, her smooth skin glided against his fingertips as he held onto her body, enjoying her moans as his hand rested on her breast. Her sharp inhale of breath made him pause momentarily, but his animal instinct was to keep going and lose himself in the pleasure she provided him. He squeezed her breast softly and she tried to pull away, breaking their lips apart and gasping for breath as his ministrations continued.
"Finn, stop," she moaned as he nibbled on the skin of her neck. The animal inside of him was begging to be released as he savored the taste of he salty skin. He was so lost in his instincts, he didn't even hear her request as he squeezed her breast once more, harder this time. His claws must have scratched her skin, because she yelped in pain, and he emerged from his trance when he smelled a faint trace of blood in the air.
"Ah!" She cried out from the pain. As if her skin were on fire, he released her quickly and leaped away from her, landing clear across the stage as he put as much space as he could between himself and the girl he loved. She was staring at his figure with wide eyes while he tried to hide from her view. First she had seen his eyes, and now she had seen him cross the stage in a single leap and was rubbing the spot where his claws had dug into her tender skin. Feeling more than a little ashamed of himself, he turned away from her so she couldn't see the monster he had become. He didn't need to look in a mirror to know that he looked like a wild animal, but Rachel didn't have to see him like this. The tone of her voice, the pain and fear he had heard there, was echoing in his head mercilessly as he stared down at the claws on his fingers.
"I- I'm sorry," he stuttered, his emotions spiraling out of control. He had hurt Rachel, and he couldn't risk that happening again, even if it was just a scratch.
"No, Finn, it's my fault, I pushed you. . ."
Shaking his head, he rudely interrupted her as he retreated into the darkness of the backstage area. "No, Rachel, it's my fault. I shouldn't be around you, I know that now. It's not safe for you to be around me while I can't control myself."
"Finn, please tell me what's going on. I can help you." Scoffing bitterly, he shook his head and stared at her from the darkened wings, where his glowing eyes were the only things she could see from her position on stage.
"No you can't, Rachel. No one can help me." And for the second night in a row, Finn left Rachel crying and alone, with questions he didn't know how to answer.
Until next time, Don't Stop... Reviewing!
Merci mille fois, mes amis!