Helga felt tears sting her eyes as they sat on the park bench together. They sat close enough to touch but honestly that was the last thing either of them wanted right now. The sky above them was bright blue, completely contradicting the current mood. Arnold sighed and spoke first.
"Is this really working?" He asked with quiet sadness.
Helga shrugged. "Does it feel like it's working Bucko?"
"No," Arnold admitted in a whisper. "Gerald and Phoebe never fight like we do."
"That's because they're perfect for each other," Helga mumbled. A bit a jealousy at ate her. She wanted to be happy for her best friend but it just made her own failing relationship hurt even more.
Arnold hesitated for a moment before speaking, "Then maybe... we should... end things between us."
There is was. The words Helga both dreaded and expected. Her eyes closed as two tears slipped from her eyes and traced down her cheeks.
"Or we could try to work things out," Arnold said in a quick, panicky voice. "I-If you want to try-"
Helga quickly shook her head. Arnold was alarmed by her tears nothing more. Of course he would offer to work things out between them, it was his nature to always try and work out problems. But Helga knew he was done with her. He had been for a while.
"Helga-"
"I'm fine." Helga quickly wiped her eyes and stood up. "And no, you're right. This isn't working and we should just end things."
She looked down at Arnold and saw a mixture of sadness and relief. Pity and relief. He felt sorry for her but relieved to no longer be dating her. More tears started to sting Helga's eyes so she looked at the ground so he wouldn't see.
"So, I guess I'll see you around school?" She asked.
"We can still be friends right?" Arnold asked instead. "I know we didn't work as boyfriend and girlfriend, but I still want us to be friends."
Friends? Friends!? A brief storm of anger broke through the sadness. She loved Arnold, wanted to give him her heart and soul. Was it her fault that she got angry sometimes and lashed out at everyone including him!? Was it her fault that he was too weak spined to handle her flare ups!?
Helga was just about to tell him off when self-loathing took over the anger. Suddenly she felt drained and her shoulders sagged. Truth be told, she loved Arnold too much for her own good. If she couldn't have him as her boyfriend or her lover, she would have to be content with having him as a friend, no matter how much it broke her heart.
"Sure Arnold," Helga said.
The memory was still fresh in my mind as the hot water poured over my body. I thought that it would fade away, but it stayed stubbornly embedded like a bad splinter. And as if that wasn't bad enough, seeing Arnold yesterday tore down the floodgates of my long-buried passion for him. The feather-light brush of his lips still burned against my mouth and the feeling of his arms tight around my body still made me shiver.
"Ah! No Helga, you're better than this!" I berated myself quickly. "He missed you because he was away from home for so long. He nearly kissed you because of nostalgia, nothing more. So stop morning over him!"
The water started to turn cold so I quickly shut the shower off and grabbed my towel. A yawn escaped my lips. I had only been an official high school graduate for about two weeks, but I still hadn't been able to shake the habit of waking up early.
"Stupid school." I muttered, shoving a toothbrush loaded with toothpaste in my mouth. "What a joke."
I still wasn't sure if I even wanted to even go to college. Olga and Phoebe thought I should, big Bob laughed in my face and said I could probably scrape by community college then come work for his beeper store.
"Helga!" Olga called from downstairs. "Breakfast is ready. Come down before it gets's cold baby sister!"
"Hold ya horses, I'll be right down!" I yelled back.
Glancing at the mirror, I saw that the foam from the toothpaste made me look rabid. I snarled at my reflection and a demented face smirked back at me.
"You still got the old fire girl." I grinned.
"HELGA GERALDINE PATAKI!" Olga hollared.
I groaned in annoyance and spat out the toothpaste. "I'll get down there when I get there!"
It annoyed the crap out of me when she did that, acting like she was my mom. Before my sister completely lost her crap I quickly went into my room to put some clothes on. Jeans, a relatively clean t-shirt, and my studs. My cell phone began ringing on my nightstand. The caller told me it was Phoebe calling.
"Sup, Pheebs?" I answered, quickly tearing a brush through her damp hair.
"Good morning Helga," She piped sweetly. "How are you this morning?"
"Trying to break this nasty habit of waking up early. You?"
"I for one find it refreshing to wake up early." I could practically hear Phoebe beaming. "Have you tried doing some yoga or tai chi when you first wake up? Good exercise both awakens the brains and the muscles you know."
I laughed. "I'll have to get back to you on that Pheebs."
My hair was still pretty damp so I tied it back into a ponytail then headed downstairs before Olga came looking for me. I kept talking to Phoebe as I reached the kitchen and Olga's ready smile quickly turned into a frown when she saw me talking on the phone.
I rolled my eyes and sat down at the table. "Listen Pheebs, Olga's giving the death glare so I have to go. Laters."
Olga waited until I hung up the phone before putting down a plate of eggs florentine in front of me. She was wearing her usual business dress with her black heels and gold bangle bracelet.
"Geez Olga, you ever just make burnt toast and scrambled eggs?" I laughed digging into the spinach and egg concoction.
"Oh hush baby sister, you know you need to eat better." Olga laughed and poured herself a cup of coffee. "Now I have about five minutes before I have to leave for work. Anything you would like to talk about?"
I chewed my food for a little before answering. "Arnold's back."
"Oh?" Olga's lips turned up in an insufferable knowing smile. "Is that why you were so flushed last night baby sister?"
"Nothing happened alright!" I felt my ears heat up. "He walked me home from the coffee shop, we talked for a few minutes, that's it. So don't make a big deal out of it okay?"
But Olga already had that stupid, dreamy look on her face. "How absolutely, wonderfully romantic. Two long lost lovers separated by fate and premature emotions brought together again in their adulthood."
"Ugh, don't use that "A" word, I just got out of high school. Let me enjoy being a juvenile for a while." I complained.
Olga kept smiling and gushing though and never had I so much regretted opening my big mouth to her about Arnold in the first place. As her sister continued talking about true love, fate, and all that nonsense, I took out my phone under the table and texted Phoebe.
11:30 am and my sister is already giving me a headache. I texted. I need movies and junk food. Stat.
Pheebs replied within minutes, but I frowned at her response.
Sorry Helga. I just made plans with Gerald to go over numbers for tuition costs for the colleges we were accepted to. You're welcome to join us :)
I flinched. I still had three applications and four unfinished essays waiting on my computer. Let alone trying to figure out how to pay for them.
Thnks but no thnks. I texted back. Save some time for late movie tho? Jst us plz?
Scheduling ;)
"Ah!" Olga squeaked and looked at her watch. "Here I am blabbing on and I'm running late for work! Gotta go baby sister, see you late tonight."
She poured her remaining coffee down the sink, pecked me on the head, then ran out the kitchen, grabbing her purse and keys on the way out. I chuckled to myself and finished eating my cold breakfast. Normally I didn't mind being alone and at peace, but not being able to hang with Phoebe left my day wide open. I was off work for the first time in three weeks but had nothing to do.
"Well," I said eyeing the breakfast dishes Olga left behind. "She cooked breakfast, I guess I could bust some suds for her."
Filling the sink with hot water and dish soap, I sunk my arms into the water and got to work. As I washed my thoughts inevitably drifted to Arnold. I wondered if he was going to go to college. Doi, of course he would, it was more the question of where. And with his travelling experience with his parents and his all around perfectness, any college in the country would probably love him. And once Arnold went away to college or back overseas with his parents he would once again be out of her life and she would be out of his thoughts.
"Ugh, come on Helga stop torturing yourself." I mumbled to myself. "He's probably not spending nearly as much energy thinking about you. He's probably visiting his friends, his grandparents or... writing to whatever girlfriend he left behind."
I shook my head in annoyance. That settled it. I needed to find a new hobby. Maybe get back into sports or watch more movies. Anything to get my mind off of that stupid, blond, football head.
The doorbell rang and I expected it to be a frantic Olga, forgetting something.
"Geez Olga, airheaded much?" I laughed as I opened the door, but then froze in shock.
That stupid, blond football head that I had just put out of my mind was standing at my door with that charming roguish grin on his face.
"Hey Helga," He smiled. "I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out with me today?"
It was a simple question. An old friend wanted to hang out with another old friend. It was just hanging out. Nothing like a date or anything. Just two old friends hanging out casual like. Even though my brain knew it was nothing more than casual, my heart wouldn't stop fluttering in my chest. Arnold waited patiently for my answer and what did I do? Give him the typical Helga G. Pataki response.
"No." I said and promptly shut the door in his face.