Hey guys
How are you? I hope that all of you are doing okay. I had a rough week with all of the things that are happening around me and I was kind of put down by an emotional attack I think. I was pretty much unable to live with myself and it took me a while to get back to writing. I'm still working on chapter 3 but I'm kind of thinking of deleting it all and rewrite 3 because I can't stand it right now.
I can say that I'll come back late, but I'll definitely come back with a better chapter for you all. Thank you for your patience. For now, here's chapter 2. Enjoy guys!
Disclaimer: Chikae.
"Well?" the Karasuno's captain turns back from his chair, annoyed by the loud sipping from his friend, "What happened?"
Koushi shrugs, his attempt to cover the chaotic state of his mind cannot be more pathetic, but he tries to convince himself that he looks natural, even going as far as to taking pride in his lousy act.
"Nothing," he says.
"Nothing and you're sitting here, drinking beer, Suga?" Daichi mocks, the naughty smirk that he rarely gives irritate Koushi. This guy, how can he manage to be so assuring and so goddamn suspicious at the same time huh? It's simply unimaginable.
The setter stays quiet. What? He can't go and blurt out that he got turned down by Chikae. Well, he suppose he can say it, but admitting that, he's afraid that it'll crush his heart completely. Koushi isn't sure if he's in a strong enough mental mode to talk about it.
Daichi just sighs, and returns to his homework. Koushi was actually thinking of whether or not he should seriously start cracking his too but he feels that if he says that out loud, his friend will strangle him and kick him out of his house. That would be most unwanted, and most troublesome considering he came here with the intention of staying over. Don't get him wrong. He is very committed on telling Daichi about what happened tonight. It's just-he needs time... lots of time.
"Sorry," the setter whispers out, his grip on the can tighten and he takes another gulp. The bland taste bothers him, but the alcohol rush that comes with it doesn't. His brain feels like it is working and the boy draws out in his mind what he would say.
"Don't bother," his friend chuckles, "I already know you're this type. Just take your time. I've got all night."
"Exactly how much homework have you procrastinated on doing to spend the whole night on?"
"Erm... since about the start of Spring High?" Daichi answers, smiling guiltily, "It's harder than I thought. Leading a club and maintaining non-failing grades is no joke."
"Yeah," he agrees, "Well, at least I got Chikae off my chest too-"
"You what?"
It just came out. Somehow his ever so painstakingly built plan got destroyed in less than a second by his stupid mouth. It was supposed to be with a lot of angst, and he was supposed to talk about how he feels about his feelings and how devastating it was when she teased his heart with that awfully sad smile. How hard it was for him to not pull her into a hug when Chikae looked like she was about to break down from his confession. Or how painfully hurt he was when his feeling is what caused her to be troubled.
Koushi can't help but feel like he should not have said it out.
But maybe to his friend, to Daichi, it sounds simply like something that happened. An unfortunate event on his part and a shame that Chikae has not respond to his feelings.
"I'm hungry," his friend says out of the blue, picking up his phone, "I'll call for pizza deliver, you pay."
"Huh? Why?" Koushi asks, a bit surprise at the decision.
"Just do it," Daichi laughs, "Beside, if I don't stuff you up with something, nothing will come out of your mouth. And if you keep drinking at that rate," his friend points at the empty cans sitting on the table, "You'll get so drunk that you might end up sleeping inside the washing machine, Suga. Remember last year with the new year party?"
Cracking a smile at the boy's good will, Koushi fishes out his wallet, waving. "Alright," he smirks, "But have mercy on this poor child."
The pizza makes him realize just how hungry Koushi was. All of food that he had eaten before seem to have vanished with the heart-break and he's been drinking with an empty stomach. Gosh.
"Should I take a picture of this and put it on the team's LINE?" Daichi asks, smirking, shaking his phone.
"Do that," he replies, "And I'll kill you."
"Then tell me about Chicchan," the captain demands, "You don't seem like you two are going out-"
"Cuz we aren't," he says, "She turned me down."
Daichi hums, his face pointing slightly bit upwards. It's his thinking face, the setter had taken noticed over the years. It makes Daichi look like a puppy almost, and he freaking knows that this is Michimiya's favourite expression from Daichi. Apparently the girl team is also aiming for the national this time. Wonder what she thinks about that. Their last loss must have been harsh on her. Koushi was not around often enough to say for sure, but the times he spent staying back for self-practicing and seeing Michimiya standing alone inside the gym, he knows that she must have been there often.
And yet, regardless of how much she trained, the team lost.
Victory is such a flickering thing.
But it can't be helped. The more they lose, the more they want to win. And the more the desire to win burns in their heart, the harder they'll train for revenge.
"Did Chicchan ever say why she can't go out with you?" his friend questions.
"She said, it's not right for her to do that," the setter sighs, "She said she doesn't feel that way."
"But isn't it weird though? I was thinking you guys seem to be on very good terms. Heck, I thought you two got some chemical going there once in awhile too-"
"She didn't tell me detailed enough, or maybe I wasn't listening well enough, but she generally talked about how she doesn't hold any romantic feelings towards anyone and she has too many things to think about right now so she can't make rash decisions. Something like that."
Once again, Daichi slightly looks up. The pizza slice in his plate seems no longer delicious, proof is that the cheese is now drying into some weird, half black half yellow hard substance. Looking at it makes Koushi lose his appetite, but just as he was about to command the boy to eat the bloody thing before it bothers anymore than it already has, Daichi starts to speak.
"Did she say 'anyone' exactly?"
"Yeah." Koushi confirms, "I'm pretty sure she said that."
"Then isn't it alright?" the captain cheers, picking up his slice of pizza, stuffing it inside his mouth, talking as he chews, "She just has too many things to think about right? It didn't mean that she turned you down because of Nishinoya, yeah, I know she likes Nishinoya, it's pretty obvious, Suga. So doesn't mean you still have a chance?"
What?
"What do you mean?" he presses, feeling the weight in his chest slowly withering away.
"The way I see it," Daichi hurriedly pick up another slice, "Chicchan just turned you down because now is not the right time. It's not because she likes Nishinoya. So maybe in the future, she might be interested in a relationship with you? I think that you should still keep up the way you two are right now. Let her know that you are there for her. And I don't think you would turn her away either just because she turned you down now. Rather, help her with all of her worryings right now so that she can have time to seriously think about her feelings towards you later."
Koushi's bite on the pizza stops. Everything just seems to click for that moment. What Daichi just said, he should have thought of it. Why had he not thought of it?
Wasn't I just giving in to the shock? he scolds himself, I should have listened to her words more. What the heck was I thinking? Damn it.
"Thanks, Daichi," he smiles, finishing the late night snack, "I'm glad I called you."
"And I'm glad that you did too. Now get out of my house-"
"Eh?!" He shrieks, "I thought you were gonna let me stay over? You can't seriously kick me out this late hour!"
"You took too much time to say what you came to do so it became this late. I never said I'd let you stay over!"
"Are you serious?!"
The setter huffs, picking up his bag, checking the watch. "It's 3 a.m.!" he wails, "Daiiiichiiii!"
"Alright alright..." their captain surrenders and he smirks, proud of himself for being about to convince the boy, "I'll take out the futon, just make sure that you don't wake my parents up."
"Promise." he smiles cheekily, sitting down and opening another can of beer as his friend grumpily prepare his place to sleep for the night. I win, he thought, taking a sip of the drink. He doesn't like the bland taste, but honestly, the alcoholic rush that comes with it doesn't fail him.
"Morning!"
"Morning, Uehara!"
Voices surround her, signalling the start of homeroom getting closer.
She made breakfast today, waking up earlier for once. Her dad was already working his shift at the farm by the time she woke up, but Chikae figured he'd be hungry after work and should get something proper before picking up his second job at the store. It seemed that she fell asleep yesterday on the floor watching videos of the team with him and he had to carry her all the way to her bed.
It freaked Chikae out for a short while when she woke up, finding herself tucked in when she was clearly not in her room the day before.
Dad is like that. Silently doing things for her sake. She likes him like that, so unconditionally caring and thoughtful. He might look like a delinquent, act like a strict coach, but despite it all, he's her dad. And he truly lives up to that name.
"M-Morning, Chicchan," Nishinoya sits his messenger bag down next to his table and himself down on the chair.
Smiling at the nervous boy, she greets, "Good morning, Nishinoya. Thanks for the curry. We enjoyed it."
Almost instantly, the usual grin shines up on his lips. "You're welcome!" he says, "I'll stop by after practice to get the pot."
"It's alright I'll bri-"
"Good morning, Ukai"
The sudden voice stops her from saying anything else. Nae, she gulps.
"Isn't it super rude to not return your classmate greetings?" Haruka chimes in, sarcasm dripping thick in her voice like honey. Chikae hates her voice, because she knows it isn't a real voice. She can hear it in the way the girl speak, the way she's trying to imitate her Hakata-ben. Haruka is making fun of her, making fun of her dialect.
"G-Good morning," the girl speaks hesitantly, trying to avoid the fierce look the three were giving her. She was so caught up with the talk about those around her that she actually forgot about these three.
Just a few days before she transferred, it seems that they transferred here too. Is it coincidental or...
"Stand!" the class rep orders and all of them leave their seats.
All stand straight, facing at the teacher. "Bow!" the moment the word was spoken, the students do as told.
"Good morning, sensei. Please take care of us today."
And classes begin, marking another struggling day for Chikae.
Struggling was the right word. It was the precise word.
Her head goes blank, and cold sweats drip down her back. She tries to go over the page times and times again but the result seems the same. This isn't something in the book. This isn't something they usually give her to study.
"What's wrong, Ukai-kun?" Takeda-sensei asks, pushing up his glasses.
He must have seen her reaction. Does she looks nervous to him? She must have looked devastated.
Chikae feels embarrassed. Now that she can actually see, those staring eyes of her classmates make her feel sick.
"Ukai-kun?" the teacher asks again and she snaps, digging her fingers deeper into the paper cover of the book.
"May I go to the bathroom?" she says, feeling the heat burning her skin away.
Oh my God...
"It's-Well, it's still in class so-"
"Just read the paragraph already, Ukai." she hears Nae chuckles, "You're wasting our time!"
The laughters raise around her. Chikae sits down, ashamed. Takeda-sensei seems to be understanding the peril she's in, proof's that he pushes no further in the matter of whether or not she should read the paragraph and picked another person to take the hit for her.
Somewhere in her heart, the girl actually feels relief.
She never gets up enough of the nerves to tell her dad about this. She feels embarrassed. There was already too much she can't do and/or still learning to do. Adding incapable of reading to that mess? How about no?
Chikae notices a few pairs of eyes staring at her, one or two curious and the others something like pity. Her backbone feels like dozens of ants are running up and down it under their stares. An uneasiness creeps into her heart and the girl look down on the table, wishing those looks to go away, chanting quietly for the day to end.
"Hey illiterate!" Haruka's voice pierces through the air, ricocheting from the walls, sending waves of fear shaking her heart. Chikae picks up the pace, trying to walk down the hallway fast.
That's the thing about this girl, Haruka Kondo, she always seem to know when Chikae is suffering and presents herself to her with the meanest of deeds and comments. It's almost like the girl's pain radiates some kind of signature smell that only Haruka can pick up. Her timing was so good that it's threatening.
"Yo, illiterate. Are you deaf or something?!" the brown-dyed hair girl yells.
Chikae picks up her pace even more. First fast steps, and now she's outright running.
Not today.
Just not today please.
"Where do you think you are going?" Nae's gentle, cold voice greets her as she stands, blocking her only method of retreat.
"Step aside, Nae." she says, trying to sneak her way through the girl.
"Why so hurry to go home?" Haruka laughs, "It's almost like you're running away from us or something. It's making me really sad."
"Don't-"
"What?"
Haruka's hand was centimeters away from her hair. Her face, hardly an inch. Chikae can feel the intimidating breath coming out from her slighting parting mouth, along with the sickening vibe that her crazed smile is putting on. Haruka was always the most unstable one in the three. Nae has something more cold to her. Like she's doing this out of hate. But Haruka, she appears to enjoy the mental torture they put Chikae through. She's in it for the fun that she extracts from seeing her crumble under them.
The girl doesn't feel anything towards them. Not at first.
But they keep coming up to her, day after day, looking for way to either humiliate her or make her feel more inferior than she already felt.
It's a routine.
And she's used to it.
"Leave me alone." Chikae says.
"What if I don't want to?" Haruka huffs, on her breath, a hint of cherry mint aroma, "I like you. You're fun, Daichi."
"Don't call me that."
"Why? I don't see you much different from then-"
"Please," Chikae pushes her hand away, slipping through the small gap between it and the wall. But she couldn't. Haruka was faster, and pin her shoulder against the rough concrete surface. Her nails dig into the girl's skin, too deep. "Please, Haruka. Not today. Please. Just not today."
Nae smiles, sending a chill down her spine. She just knows that at that moment in time, that second that she let those words escaped her mouth, they took it as a victory, as the permission that she so stupidly gave them to evade and destroy her mentality.
"See you tomorrow then."
"Wa-"
Chikae didn't get to finish what she was about to say. She tumbles down on her feet, her face hitting the poorly waxed floor painfully as she chases after the shadow of Nae. Once again ricocheting throughout the hall, Haruka's laugh, as the girl reminds her to watch where she steps.
She sits up, lifelessly putting the notes and textbooks spreading out on the floor that she has absolutely no need for inside her bag. Her cheeks and knees burn. Chikae stands up. A droplet of tear tried to break free, and she looks up, keeping it in.
The chaos in her block her breath, and the name they called her strangles her heart. It's almost like an emotional attack and she was absolutely defenseless. Never in her life did she want anything less than to just go home and face her father.
But she knows he's waiting. And he'll be worrying if she's not there at dinner time...
Breathing in a deep breath, the girl strives towards the stairs. Her knees ache with throbbing pains each step she takes but Chikae just smiles; smiles and wipes away the dull and dead bitterness in her.
"Chikae! Hey!" her dad greets, his grins so big that she thought it might be a crime to be so happy for someone of his age, "We have chicken today! I thought you're having some tests lately so maybe I should get cooking and let you taste something nice for once."
"Thanks, Dad," she replies, "I'm not really hungry right now."
"Oh, I'll just leave you par- What happened to your face?" he asks, rushing towards her and Chikae backs away, retreating to her room with a smile on her face.
"I fell." she tells him before closing the door.
The girl drops down on her bed, muffling her cries with the soft blanket she's lying on. Her heart just breaks at the sight of his happy face. It makes her realize that she can't do this anymore, she can't bring herself to make him unhappy. But it's so hard. It's so hard when the one who is suffering is her.
There doesn't seem to be a way out.
And no matter what she tried, she would always be Daichi Kubota, not Chikae Ukai. She can't change who she is. Just like Haruka called her, just like Nae's looks implied.
The girl sees now, for the longest time what she's been running away from. She's weak. People can see that. They will attack her. And she won't be able to stop them.
Keishin closes the door of his daughter room, carefully so that she doesn't wake up. He sets down the medical box, taking out the anesthetic and band-aids. Gently wiping away the unfallen tears trapped between her eyelashes, the coach cleans the wound on her face where the blood had stopped and dried into a disgusting brownish color.
She winces at the pain apparently, but he quickly retracts his hand, waiting for her to fall into her sleep one more time. Her knees are much worse though, and the young man can't help but feel a bit broken inside at the sight of it.
Quickly wrapping up her wound before he bothers her sleep anymore, the coach excuses himself out of the room, heading off to the balcony.
Fishing out the bag of cigarettes, he lights up one and punches the buttons on his phone.
"Takeda-sensei," he says, "Yeah, it's me. There's something I want to consult with you about. It's about Chikae. Yeah, now."
Hey :)
How was the chapter? I actually enjoyed this one a lot, and I like to write Chikae and Keishin together a lot. There is just something about them that makes it very pleasant to write.
Big thanks to sakurayukari, Peaceful Watcher Soul, Shinonome Haruhi, PythagTheDragon, Hyacitho Fatalis, Left-to-die, and Untrustedwithscissors for your continuing support. I really appreciate your presence here! Hope you find this story one worth following :)
Shinonome Haruhi: Thank you, dude! Your comments make me blush / You are amazeball and I'm honored to be able to read your story. I'll keep looking forwards for more from you!