Part 2: Splinter

Bellamy found Abby sequestered at the back of her clinic, eyes frantically running over a set of chemical formulas on her screen. Her face was sallow and her eyes were rimmed with blotches of red. His chest tightened and he looked away, losing his gaze in the maze of formulas as he cleared his throat, the sound echoing off the clinic's walls.

"What do you want?" Her voice was tired, resigned in a way he'd never heard before.

He could feel the sting of her gaze even as he kept his focus on her workstation. "I need your help."

The hollow laughter that rattled through her had him raising his eyes. The sight that greeted him turned his stomach, another wave of cold thrashing about within him. The accusation in her gaze was unfiltered, so raw in its intensity that he had to clench his fists to prevent himself from looking away.

"You need my help?" The brittle laughter shook Abby again. "What a joke, Bellamy Blake. You tried to turn my daughter over to Pike and now you've given him Marcus. Did you ever stop to think about what that tyrant was going to do when he got them?"

His tongue was sandpaper in his mouth, but he forced the words out. He owed her that. "I never thought he'd sentence Kane to death. I thought we would never kill our own…"

"How can you be so naïve? Didn't you see what happened on the Ark? What happened to your mother?" It was a low blow, but he was hardly in a position to protest. Her eyes gleamed in the dim light of the monitor. "Did you ever think about what Pike would do to Clarke if he got his hands on her? She's been living with the Grounders, Bellamy. She and Lexa are up to their necks in it together. How could you not see that he would kill my daughter?"

If Kane's execution order had been a violent blizzard tearing through his soul, this was an earthquake shattering it. He might not be Clarke's biggest fan right now, but damn it if he was ever going to let anything happen to her. He might want to scream at her until his voice was hoarse, but he would never harm her. Never sentence her to death. Bile rose in his throat so suddenly he choked, turning away from Abby with a violent rasp.

But Bellamy had. His hand dropped to the counter beside him, steadying him against the realization. He'd tried to deliver her to Pike. He'd been so sure he was protecting her from Lexa it had never occurred to him what Pike would do. Bellamy had been so fucking certain they would never hurt one of their own. Incarcerate, yes. Restrain, yes. But never kill.

When his breath finally evened out and the bile retreated enough for him to speak, he turned to meet Abby's haunted eyes. "I never wanted this. Help me fix this."

Her jaw twitched. "What do you want from me?"

"I need to find your daughter and my sister. I need to stop Pike before it's too late."

None of the hardness faded from her, but she nodded. "I can do that. Clarke is in Polis and so I imagine is Octavia…"

"I have to run the blockade." He'd known there was a strong possibility of that before he'd come to her, but the confirmation set his mind reeling again. The Grounders had them surrounded and were hungry for the blood Lexa continued to deny them. One wrong step and he was dead. And if he was dead, so was Kane.

"I can get you out of Arkadia, but that blockade is up to you." Her lips twisted into a sardonic grin. "After all, you're the reason it even exists, aren't you?"

He didn't let his expression waver as her accusation sank into him, twisting with the other tendrils of guilt that bound his soul. "Fine. Get me out of here."

She rose, pausing to shut down her workstation. "With pleasure, Mr. Blake."

The sun had already sunk far below the horizon by the time Bellamy approached the first Grounder patrol. He'd done his best not to think as he crept away from camp, ever vigilant of the sights and sounds around him. The last few months had taught him much about moving through the forest and he was eternally grateful that he no longer snapped twigs and shuffled leaves as he moved. Gina had taught him how to walk quietly; she'd called it cat walking, he'd thought the name was absurd. His gut twisted as he sank low behind a tree, not wanting to risk the Grounder lookouts spotting him.

Gina. Bellamy hadn't wanted that, hadn't even had time to think about romance since they'd landed, but suddenly she was there when he was hollow, desperate to filled. Mt. Weather had taken a part of his soul. He'd looked good people in the eye and promised to help them, but instead he'd killed them. Rationally he'd understood why Clarke had run out of options, why they'd run out of options, but the sleepless nights and raging nightmares wore away at him, rubbing him raw.

And Gina had been there, the balm to his gaping wounds. She'd loved him simply, without the hell of war between them. He'd slept soundly in her arms, the restlessness only returning as weeks turned into months and Clarke never returned. Bellamy wasn't sure if he'd loved Gina or not, but he'd needed her, appreciated her even if the flame of love had not yet thrived within him.

And then, just as suddenly, Gina was gone, the ghost of Echo's face mocking him to sleep. Her death hadn't changed him. It hadn't rocked or shifted his world. He'd already seen Roma run through with a spear. He'd watched the Grounders cut down his early bedfellows, spilling their crimson blood on the ground with the ruthless precision of warriors. Every woman he'd ever clung to in desperate hope of chasing away his demons lay in the ground. Except Raven. But even strong, fearless Raven had been scorched by the Grounders, destroyed as Clarke sank her knife into Finn's chest.

He grit his teeth, and peered around the tree again. The Grounders hadn't moved. Sighing, he sank back to the ground, the chill of the earth matching the chill in his veins. He could wait them out. Bellamy leveled his gaze at the shifting shadows of the forest, struggling against the exhaustion seeping through his bones. His fight was not over.

A hand on his shoulder had Bellamy shooting to his feet, cursing his senses as he swung to confront his attacker.

"Bellamy?"

His sister's voice cut softly through the night. She was standing beside him, Indra beyond her. While her voice had been soft, even kind, her eyes flashed with a foreign rage. She exchanged a long look with Indra before reaching out to roughly grasp his arm.

"Follow me. Don't say a fucking word."

He did his best to tread softly as she and Indra led the way, moving parallel to the boundary. Within a few minutes, Octavia was ducking into a cave whose entrance was hidden from view by several large pine trees and faced away from the blockade line. A fire pit smoked at the center of the stone floor and Octavia wasted no time rekindling the glowing embers.

Their walk had been necessarily silent due to the Grounders, but Bellamy knew the calm would not last long now that they were sequestered from searching eyes and ears.

Indra's dark gaze held such heavy accusation that he refused to even look at her. Her anger was not hot, like his sister's, but deadly cold. He knew that if they were alone, his life would be forfeit.

"What the hell are you doing out here, Bellamy?" Octavia's rage was barely contained, her lips trembling as she faced him.

He had no time to defend himself. Had no idea if he even should. "Pike has sentenced Kane to death. Probably Sinclair and Lincoln too."

Her fist connected with his jaw before he even saw her move. The blow rocked him backward, sending him sprawling away from the fire. Bellamy brought his hand up to rub his jaw, but made no move to rise. "We still have time to save them! I need your help-"

"My help!" she exploded, her dark hair flying around her she swung toward him, her eyes dark and dangerous. "You're the reason they need saving."

They'd fought before. They'd said things they didn't mean. But Bellamy had never heard her sound like this, never heard the venom of hatred lacing her strong voice. "O…"

"This is your fault! Everything that's gone wrong is your fault." Octavia was growling now, her voice jagged and guttural. "I swear if Lincoln dies, you are dead to me."

He wanted to run away, to turn back time to a moment where his sister didn't see him for the monster he was. Where his sister didn't stare at him with rancor in her eyes and disgust in her heart. But what he'd told Clarke was true. This was who he'd always been. Always hurting those he loved, always spreading pain. He'd been stupid to think he'd escaped himself. Stupid to believe Pike would save him.

"We will stop this." Indra had been silent, her eyes speaking volumes, until now. She moved from the edge of the cave, the slight limp in her walk reminding Bellamy just how guilty he ought to feel. He'd spared her in a massacre of hundreds. He'd known they'd gone too far and yet he'd still believed Pike would never cross the line, never turn on their own. Killing the enemy was unfortunate but necessary. Killing your friends was irredeemable. Even in the dark chaos of his soul, he knew that.

Bellamy swallowed the metallic taste in his mouth, turning to face Indra. "Where is Clarke?"

"She was supposed to leave at dawn, just like me," Octavia began, her eyes losing some of their fire. "But I haven't seen her. We agreed to meet here, which is why Indra and I are camped out. Lexa has given us a chance to take out Pike before she has to declare a full out war on the 13th clan."

Bellamy's gut knotted further as he thought of Clarke, all alone and no longer disguised, running the blockade. His blood ran even colder as he realized they didn't have time to wait for her. "Pike will act soon, within a day or two at the most."

Octavia turned away from him, her slim shoulders set with determination as she paced the small cave. "We wait until dawn. If she's still not here, we plan our attack."

Indra settled onto a set of furs on the opposite side of the fire. He dark eyes glistened as she stared across the dying embers at Bellamy's slumped form. "Sleep with one eye open, Bellamy kom Skaikru."