Sorry about the looooooooooooooooong break…schoolwork and tests and a recent three-day soap opera kind of slowed me down. Anyway, hope everyone had a good couple of weeks, hope everyone who can vote voted, regardless of whom for. But that's over and done and there's no point in gloating if you voted for Obama or whining if you voted for McCain, so PLEASE no political comments in your reviews. Please.
On a totally different note, thank you to DragonWignedHanyou for just being awesome and helping me this week with my personal crap. Lissa rocks and you should read her fics. (BTW, I wrote Brownies. She posted it because it would get more readers that way.)
Of course I love Kim, thought Kath as she poured herself a bowl of cereal in her new, tiny kitchen. But don't I deserve a fresh start, too? She put down the cereal and poured some skim milk into the bowl. After all, she should be grateful that I was as nice to her as I was. I missed at least five dinner parties making sure she didn't leave the house dressed in anything too revealing. She put away the milk and checked the clock. God, it's already seven. I have to wake Kim up. She walked towards Kim's room. I really am becoming momish again, aren't I? She opened the door to Kim's room and poked her head in.
"Kim, yet up!" she yelled. Kim threw a pillow at her mother.
"Very funny, young lady," said Kath, "But that behavior doesn't fly in the Knight household."
"Whatever, moaned Kim from inside. Kath stepped out of the doorway and Kim emerged, her hair a mess and her eyes puffy, wearing a white tank top and blue shorts. She walked ten steps and collapsed on the couch.
"What time is it?" Kim groaned.
"It's seven," said Kath. "Now get dressed. You have to go to work!"
"Nuh-uh, work doesn't start till nine," said Kim.
"But you have to get ready!"
"Yeah, so I'll get dressed at nine. That's work," said Kim.
"Kim, you're lucky I'm even letting you stay here. Now get dressed and go to work!"
"Why did we even move to stupid Scranton anyway?" asked Kim.
"Phil and I moved here because you made Phil lose his job at the mall so he had to move his sandwich business here," said Kath.
"So I overreacted a little that day," said Kim. "But what kind of shoe store doesn't have the zebra print platform heel in a size ten?"
"Kim, you screamed, knocked over six displays, and ate an entire box of donuts you stole!"
"I was hungry," said Kim. Kath tensed up in frustration, then took a deep breath and calmed down.
"Well, it doesn't matter now, because Phil's moving his business to the Viewmont Mall," said Kath. She checked the clock again. "And now its seven fifteen and you'll be late for your second day of work. Not a smart move, Kimbo."
"Fine, whatever," said Kim, dragging herself back to her room. "Now what should I wear?"
"Your name's Kim, right?" said a female voice near the reception desk.
"That's the name, don't wear it out," said Kim, not bothering to look up and see who it was. She was too busy concentrating on her nails, which she was painting a bright neon orange.
"Well, I don't know if you've ever worked in an office before, Kim, but we have a pretty strict dress code here."
Kim looked up to find the source of the voice, a petite, pale, stern-looking blond woman, dressed in a gray turtleneck sweater.
"What do you mean, 'dress code'?" asked Kim. The blond woman glanced at Kim's outfit, a too-tight tube top and a skirt so short that her underwear could be seen at times.
"Well, here's a basic rule," said the blond woman. "If you look like you just came back from selling yourself on the street, it's time to put some more clothes on." The woman's mouth showed the slightest hint of a smirk.
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Angela: And I thought Pam was sluttish.
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Kim sneered and went back to her nails.
"Well, I think it's cute," said another voice. Kim looked up to see a brown-skinned girl with her hands on her hips, talking to the blond woman.
"You would," said the blond woman with an air of superiority. She walked away, and sat at a desk in the farthest corner of the office.
"That's Angela. Don't mind her," the dark skinned girl said, walking up to reception.
"Is she always that bitchy?" said Kim.
"Almost, except she's actually a little nice-ish whenever she comes back from the warehouse. I don't get it either." The girl laughed. "Anyway, that top is so cute! Where'd you get it?"
"Oh, I got this at the mall," said Kim.
"Really? I just went and I didn't see anything like it," said the girl. "But I did get this top. They only had one left in my size. Can you believe it?"
"Oh, is that from Victoria's Secret?" asked Kim, standing up to see the top. "That's so weird, because I was just about to get that exact top, but then my mom walked in and she was all, 'Kim, where have you been? We were supposed to meet Phil half an hour ago!' She made such a big deal out of it. It wasn't like it was the actual wedding or anything, just the rehearsal. How stupid is that?"
The girl laughed again. "You're so funny," she said. "I'm Kelly." She smiled. "This is so cool! Now I have a boyfriend and a BFF and they both work here!"
"Who's your boyfriend? Is he hot?" asked Kim.
"Yeah, he's soooo cute, and he's really nice, except he, like, broke my heart two years ago, but I totally forgave him and we're back together!" said Kelly. The phone rang.
"Does he have any friends he can hook me up with?" asked Kim. The phone rang again.
"I don't know. Hey, isn't that a ring on your finger?" The phone rang again.
"Yeah, but we're not together or anything. I mean, he thinks we are, but it's so over," said Kim. Ring, ring.
"I think you're supposed to answer it," said Kelly.
"Who, me?" asked Kim. "Alright," she said hesitantly. She picked up the phone. "Who's this?" She listened, then extended the phone to Kelly. "It's for you," she said.
"Can't you just transfer it?" asked Kelly.
"I don't know how," said Kim. "Here, take it." Kelly took the phone.
"How's work going?" said Kath's voice on the other end.
"It sucks!" said Kim rather loudly, holding the phone with her ear and shoulder while she looked up celebrity gossip. "You know how I left Craig because he expected me to do stuff? Well, this is worse!" The camera turns to everyone in the office to see that they can all hear the conversation and are trying not to listen.
"Oh, come on, Kimmy, it's not that bad," said Kath.
"Yes it is! I have to sit at a desk all day and the phone keeps ringing and I have to be all, "Dunder Mifflin, this is Kim." Who talks like that?" The camera zoomed in on Jim, who appeared to be muttering to himself but was having some difficulty with the volume of Kim's conversation.
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Jim: Kim is the new receptionist, and she's alright, but she's…not exactly the voice I want to be hearing at reception. Actually, Pam wouldbe back right about now, but she failed her design class and decided to stay in New York and retake it. So we're back to using the Bluetooth, and…so much for a short engagement.
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"The people here are nuts," said Kim, still on the phone. "There's this blond lady who's a total uptight bitch." Angela glared from over the top of the cubicle. "Plus, this weird old guy tried to ask me out."
"Well, I told ya, you should have stayed with Craig," said Kath.
"Ew. Craig's a loser," said Kim. She looked around the office and her eyes landed on Jim, who she hadn't noticed before. "Wait, hold up. I just spotted a total hottie." Andy looked up.
"Kim, you're married, I don't think you should be dating."
"I'm gonna have to call you back," said Kim. She put down the phone. She flipped her hair, pushed up her chest, and walked over to Jim's desk. Andy cursed to himself.
"So anyway," said Jim to apparently no one. "Life here is…" Kim sat on his desk and crossed her legs.
"Hey," she said in her most seductive tone.
"Who's that, Jim?" said Pam's voice, a little suspiciously.
"It's uh…," said Jim.
"So you're one of those quiet types, huh? I can dig that," said Kim.
"Jim, who is that?" asked Pam.
"It's the new receptionist," said Jim.
"Please, call me Kim," said Kim. "And you are…?"
"Jim," said Jim. "Sorry, Pam, that's just…"
"Who's Pam?" said Kim.
"I'm Pam," said Pam, loud enough so that Kim could hear.
"Who said that?" asked Kim. "Never mind," she said. She leaned in close to Jim.
"So, is there a Mrs. Jim?" she asked.
"Yeah, Jim, is there a Mrs. Jim?" asked Pam.
"Uh, I'm engaged," said Jim.
"So, I'm married," said Kim, holding up her ring finger. "Doing anything tonight?"
"Jim, what's going on?" asked Pam.
"Nothing, nothing, just…" Jim stopped, realizing that Kim thought he was talking to her.
"Not…I didn't mean…"
"Jim, I have to go," said Pam. "Maybe you can talk to the new receptionist to pass the time."
"Pam, don't - "said Jim, but Pam hung up. He took the Bluetooth out of his ear.
"Who was that?" asked Kim.
"That was my fiancé," said Jim, "And now she thinks I'm cheating or something. Thanks for that, Kim."
"That was your fiancé?" asked Kim. "She sounds like a real drag."
"Actually, she's great, and now she doesn't trust me," said Jim.
"Wait, you actually like her?" asked Kim. "That sucks." She went back to her desk. Jim sighed and held his head in his hands.
"Bummer, dude," said Andy.
Come on, you knew Kim and her Kim-ness would screw things up. This fic is, of course, pretending that Pam decided to stay in New York, so let's all just imagine that she's repeating the course, I saw the promo for the next episode…Someone's coming back, and I'm already planning their appearance in this fic.