Author's Note: *Peaks out from behind a bush* whoa. Okay, I am honestly startled beyond belief at the response this story got. Like-whoa! Thank you guys so much! I appreciate it 3000! =D I just cannot wrap my mind around how many follows/favs this got in a week. I'm just-what!? THANK YOU! =)
Anyway.
Okay. Sorry, this probably would have been out sooner, but I got sick and have spent the last couple days hacking out my brains...which has been unpleasant. Honestly, I haven't slept for more than like two hours a night in four days. Whoop! Jubilant tired bunny. :)
Disclaimer: Don't own nothing!
Warnings for this chapter: Some violence/gore, and general low self—esteem.
Chapter Two:
The sensation of being torn through time isn't quite as smooth as he was expecting, but that's likely because he was surmising it to feel like the Bifrost. But the Bifrost has been modified and perfected over multiple millennia, and this...hasn't. Not yet (and it shouldn't when they're done, anyway). It's like being dragged by a rope tied around his waist; his chest threatens to collapse despite suit surrounding his skin, and it promises to flatten anything else into a small pimple.
Thor imagines this is what getting thrown through a black hole would feel like. (And isn't that what Tony did in the first place? A black hole of space time, everything that—)
It isn't pleasant.
And, it's because of this, that when his feet hit solid ground, Thor doesn't land on smoothly his feet ready to fight. Stormbreaker falls from his hands with a thunk and he collapses to his knees trying not to throw up. He does heave, but he doesn't expel anything. His hands wrap around his stomach over the white suit as he tries to apply pressure to alleviate the sense of wrong in his lungs.
He's gasping, and he knows that it's loud. He bites at the back of his hand, trying to find some sense of grounding. This is awful. Oh, Norns above, he does not want to do that again (but he has to finish his goal, and even if—when—he does, he still has to go back for the Aether). He tastes blood and pulls his hand back, trying to ground himself.
Breathe.
Listen.
He's on solid ground, why is his body insisting that he's still falling?
Thor presses his hands against the rough grates, and his eyes widen as he recognizes them. He spent enough time during the assembled meetings of what remained of Asgard's nobility as they discussed the water shortage staring at the floor that he has it memorized to small details. He stumbles back, flicking his gaze up and a dull horror and relief washes through him as the walls meet his gaze.
The Statesmen.
He's on the Statesmen.
Tony's calculations worked.
He's here.
Five years ago.
He's here.
This shouldn't be possible, but it is. He knows that it's theoretical, he wouldn't have agreed unless he knew that there was a small chance of it working. Thor was fascinated by Asgard's own form of astrophysics, it was one of the reasons that he and Jane—
Enough. He needs to focus.
Unsteadily, Thor manages to make it to his feet and wraps his hand around Stormbreaker, lifting it from the ground. The time—suit unfolds off of him, wrapping itself neatly into the watch around his hand, and, not for the first time, Thor is grateful Tony invents with compaction in mind.
Thor glances around himself, trying to determine where on the ship he is. They were here for long enough that he gathered a rough idea of the layout of the ship, but it's been years since he stepped an actual foot here. Not just a phantom one in his dreams. He can't immediately place himself, but the more seconds he lingers, the more aware he becomes of the thick smell of smoke, stale blood, and death.
His stomach clenches, and he exhales sharply. No. He didn't—he thought that Bruce would put him on the Statesmen before the attack. Before or even after Than—he got here. He didn't think, didn't even bother to wonder what would happen if he was here at the same time as the Mad Titan. That wasn't—he is a fool.
He has always been a fool.
He would have been happy with only the opportunity to burn Loki's body, to send him off to Valhalla properly because he left Loki on Svatherheim, and he knows that his younger brother lingered between life and death for hours. He could have been there when Loki woke up, before he went to Asgard and claimed the throne. Maybe...maybe then…
But now he is here at the same time as the Mad Titan, and he can't—can't—he isn't ready. Norns, why did he think he could do this? Why did he think that he could actually talk to Loki? Why did he insist on this? It's stupid. He's been foolish, again, and it isn't going to solve anything beyond him getting someone else bathed in blood.
Why did he think he could even fix this?
Everything he touches he destroys.
Just—he should leave. Now. Back out of this before it all starts and—no. He can't do that. He's here for the Tesseract, at least, and the Avengers are relying on him to get that. Half the universe is. He can't back down because he's a coward. He has to fix this whole mess that he started in the first place. He'll put it back into the proper order, and then, maybe, the Avengers will finally forgive him for being so crass.
Thor presses his lips together, and takes in a deep breath.
He can do this.
It's just the Tesseract. He doesn't even have to talk to his younger brother (Loki. Alive. Here. Now. Alive) he'll just pick up the stupid cube and leave. Easier said than done.
Thor moves forward slowly, keeping his weight evenly balanced against the burned grates and notes with some disgust that he can see a trail of blood being dragged across the floor. He thinks that might be from the injured that Brunnhilde took with her when she escaped from the ship, but he's not sure. He, Loki, the handful of remaining Einherjar and the other sedirmasters stayed behind to distract the Mad Titan so their people could escape. Heimdall was supposed to go with them, but he didn't.
Loki was, too, but he and Heimdall dropped into the middle of the battle and didn't leave until they were both dead.
At least Thor knows why Loki stayed behind now. It wasn't out of any form of sentiment for him, it was because he had the Tesseract, and if he'd tried to run with Asgard, the Mad Titan would have tracked them down again and slaughtered the remainder of their people. Loki has always been more loyal than he to Asgard. (Thor's the one who's tried to dump the crown onto someone else for two years, he's the one who only wanted the title for the glory, he's the one who got every other member of the royal family murdered).
Oh, Norns, he can't do this.
Thor forces himself forward another step.
The Tesseract.
The Avengers need the Tesseract. He can't let them down again. He can be good. He can be useful.
The smell of stale blood and death is getting thicker and it makes him want to gag. He's walked through plenty of fields of battle before, but none in quite as confined a space as this. The Statesmen was—is?—not exactly substantial. The scent is weighted, though, a reminder of how much that is lost here.
How much dies.
Will you just—focus.
He's not here to walk through memories, he's here to get the Tesseract (and Loki, Norns he can't talk to Loki, not after everything that happened).
Thor manages to find his way towards the bridge by some miracle, and slowly, carefully, works his way deeper into the room. His breath keeps coming out strangled, and his grip around Stormbreaker's handle is tight enough that his fingers are starting to go numb. The tips feel raw.
He's going to be sick.
Focus.
The Tesseract.
He can't fail again.
He can make out the distant glow from the emergency lights lowly powered, but most of the light comes from the fires burning lowly around the broken bridge. This entire area is destroyed from the battle, and to be honest, Thor would be a liar to say he didn't expect anything different. Fighting with sedirmasters does that.
He's—here. He's actually here. The battle has already happened, or is happening. He can't pick out the sounds of blades against each other, so he's assuming the former. This must be before Loki offers the Tesseract to the Mad Titan for him (stupid, selfless Loki, always saving his butt when it mattered).
His stomach coils a little.
Thanos
Here.
Now.
Alive.
Thor hadn't thought this through properly. He doesn't want to march up to the Titan (or anywhere near the Titan) and demand to speak with Loki privately. He knows that wouldn't go over well, and it wasn't what he did before. Thor didn't see himself at all during the attack, which means he must have found a way to get the Tesseract (and maybe, just maybe) Loki quietly.
He takes a step deeper into the room, ducking underneath a fallen beam from the ceiling, and stills as he sees the first fallen Asgardians. His soldiers. So many were women because sedir is rarely practiced by men. So many children on Asgard no longer have their mothers, or their fathers, sometimes both.
All because of this battle.
The scent of death is deep and ugly.
Thor drags himself forward a few more steps. He needs to find Loki, so he can get the stupid Tesseract and his brother.
Hopefully.
Move.
He makes it about ten more steps forward before he spots a familiar group in the distance. It's one that he's seen so many times in his dreams since this day that their features are a harsh reminder that this is real. This is actually happening.
"...brother's head, I assume you have a preference?" Thor freezes at the words, his free hand fisting with anxiety. His throat tightens and he flicks his gaze up towards the group as much as he dares, noticing with a dull, familiar ache of loss Loki's bloodied green cape amidst the Mad Titan's children. His brother is right there.
Why on the Norn's name did he have to get pulled into the battle right now?
Loki's being held in place by the swords and weapons aimed towards his head. It took most of the battle for them to get to here. Looking a little closer through vision that isn't blurred with tears of pain and blood, he notices that Loki's posture is slanted towards his left. He must be hiding a handful of broken ribs beneath his rigid posture, and, as he moves forward he spots the bruising on Loki's right hand.
Broken bones.
Loki had broken bones?
Yes—that—no. No. Thor didn't feel anything like that when he collapsed on Loki's corpse after the Mad Titan and his children. If Loki's right side was damaged, why wouldn't he have felt that? But why else would he have gone after the Mad Titan with his left hand? It was something that bothered him for months after Loki's death.
Something that gave him a small hope that Loki would show up on his doorstep in New Asgard at some point in time and demand water and a place to sleep.
But months passed, then years, and Loki never reappeared.
But the battle—Thor can hardly recall distinct details on it anymore. Not the actual battle, he doesn't live through it anymore, only the deaths. Loki and Heimdall were fighting side by side until Midnight Proxima gutted the gatekeeper through. Which means that Heimdall is already dead or dying now.
Thor can't remember, and that pains him.
He should have this detailed—memorized—because he is the only one who knows what happened here, and he's only bothered to write it down once. Only after Brunnhilde bullied him into doing it. He has let the memories of what really happened here wane, and now he can't remember as well as he should.
He slowly, reluctantly, draws his gaze away from Loki's alive, breathing back to Thanos, and his muscles clench. He's still in his stupid golden armor, and Thor can see himself clutched by the scruff of his armor's collar a little off the ground. It's a little disorienting, but Loki's mascaraed at him often enough that it's not what he's focusing on.
Thanos is there.
The Tesseract is getting closer. He needs to move faster. But where is he going to get it in the first place? When is it not in Thanos's—oh. Oh! After Loki bargains for him, he drops the Tesseract and it's left unmanned for at least two minutes. Thor can grab it then, and—and—
Loki's by himself, then, too. He could talk to him. He could take him.
Thor scrambles through the debris softly, and quickly, trying to work his way behind Thanos, but freezes at the familiar voice: "Oh, I do. Kill away."
Loki.
Loki.
His baritone sounds deeper than Thor remembers (he was forgetting what Loki's voice sounded like, he can't recall the noise of Loki's actual laughter, not just the one he uses for show anymore). His brother is right there. He's alive. He's alive.
Thor strains his neck to see through the standing bodies, and manages to catch a glimpse of his brother's profile. His chest seizes, and his fists clench with something he can't place. Pain. Relief. Happiness? Loki is right there.
He's alive—
(But if you don't kick yourself into gear, you moran, he's not going to be for much longer.)
Thor forces himself to get pay attention, and hears the sounds of his anguished cries. His mind pulses with a faint whisper of the phantom pain from the Stone crushed against his head, but he waves it off best he can.
His mind didn't stop being muddy and murky for hours after that.
"Alright, stop!"
He staggers a little as he works through the debris, but he manages to get behind Thanos and his past self with relative ease. His hands fist tightly around Stormbreaker when he realizes that he can see Loki clearly (as clear as clear is through this terrible lighting) from this angle. His face is bruised from the fight, his lips split and white from the sweltering heat around them; Thor can see the cuts around his eyebrows from when one of Thanos's children (Norns, he can't recall details anymore) swiped at his face with their knives.
Loki's hiding his injuries well, but Thor can clearly see how he's favoring his left side now.
He looks so tired.
So bruised.
Have his cheekbones always jutted out that much, or had (has?) their limited food supply affected him in that area as well?
"We don't have the Tesseract," his past self spits, and Thor can hear the blood present in his voice. He can vaguely draw up memories of saying something along those lines, but it's faint. "It was destroyed on Asgard."
Loki's stance shifts a little, and Thor reads his body language with desperation. Loki is there. He is right there. Less than twenty feet from him, if he wanted, he could run, grab him, and leave. But he can't. He didn't before and he can't now. Whatever he does here never caught the attention of anyone on the ship because Thanos didn't bring it up later. Thor never even suspected that time was being warped during this entire debacle.
Besides, he knows that Loki dives back here for a second after he shoves him out of the way and drops the Tesseract. Then Hulk arrives and tries to fight the Mad Titan, and yes, alright, yes. Okay. He can wait here for a moment.
Loki's life is down to minutes now.
They were both so ignorant.
Thor flicks his gaze up as he sees the familiar light of the Tesseract appearing once more, and blinks a little with discomfort at how bright the light is. It's so blue. Had he even cared to notice how blue it was before?
"You really are the worst brother."
Thor winces, and closes his eyes tightly, exhaling slowly. His last words. His last words to his brother was that. Of everything he could have said, of anything he could have reaffirmed or assured Loki of, the one he chose was that.
A clear, cutting edge to declare that Loki is a failure.
"I assure you brother...the sun will shine on us again," Loki promises, and Thor's body tenses as he prepares for the window. He needs to time this right. Loki's going to drop the Tesseract, and Thor needs to grab it, Loki, and then leave.
When Loki stops back here to do...whatever it is that he's doing for those few minutes, he'll have his chance. Hulk will be busy pounding the Mad Titan to a pulp anyway, and his children will be watching to make sure their father doesn't die. Loyalty that makes him sick.
Loki trades a few lines with the Mad Titan (even when staring death in the face, Loki will get the last word in, stupid silvertongue) and Hulk tackles Thanos forward. Loki drops the Tesseract and dives towards his past self, shoving Thor out of the way in a roll and Thor realizes that, from an outside perspective, Loki was careful to keep his head from ramming against the ground by padding it with his hand. Likely to stop the flaring headache from getting worse.
They're so close.
Loki.
Alive.
He didn't—
Focus.
His past self groans and rolls a little, shaking his head as if dizzy and looks towards Loki, who is gripping his right side and trying not to be obvious about it. How did he not notice the broken bones before? His past self shakes his head a little with annoyance and stumbles into a semi-upright position, and, without another word (why didn't he say something?) turns to pick up the stray piece of piping and vanishes from Thor's view.
Loki immediately crumples, a openly pained look crossing over his face, and he presses his hand against his chest.
Thor stares.
Move.
He can't.
Move.
Loki is right there, and all he's going to do is mess this up again. What if Loki doesn't even want to come with him? What if their relationship is so terrible that Thor will try to speak to him and Loki will hate him for it? The last words he said to his sibling was a reaffirmation that Loki isn't enough and he'd meant it. At the time. Now he wants to strangle his past self for being so stupid.
He knows that here, five years ago, he was trying, but he wasn't trying hard enough. Not enough that Loki thought he could reveal the Tesseract to him. Not enough that he would trust him with that secret. When they were younger, they wouldn't have kept something so messy a secret.
Move.
His feet are stumbling forward before he can really process it, as if he's been pushed by an invisible hand, and Loki doesn't quite jump, but he does jolt as he looks back at him, dagger lifted towards him with his left hand. His brow immediately clouds with confusion and the expression is so familiar that Thor wants to weep.
They don't have the time.
Loki is alive.
Loki is breathing, and pointing weapons at him, but alive.
Thor crosses the distance between them, and rests his hands on Loki's shoulders. His brother's bones are still jutting out beneath the armor, but it's heavy. It's real. He isn't dreaming this, and maybe if he is, he'd be perfectly content to stay here. Loki.
Alive.
Here.
Thor is touching him again.
Loki's lips are thinned in both puzzlement and pain, and Thor abruptly remembers the broken ribs. He draws his hands back. "Loki," Thor whispers, and the word sounds so strange to fall from his lips and know that someone will respond to it.
Time. They don't have time.
"Thor, what—?" Loki starts in a hushed whisper, and Thor almost wants to rear back with surprise. Loki spoke to him. Not to his past self, but him.
"No," Thor interrupts, "no time. Listen carefully, I'm here to save you."
Loki makes a little head shake of confusion and disagreement. It is so familiar. It is so him. Norns, Thor has missed him. How does he explain this in so little time? They have a minute at the max, and Thor has already wasted fifteen seconds. "I know what you're about to do," Thor blurts, and how wonderful those words feel to come off his tongue.
Loki has forever been a mystery, his next action almost impossible to determine.
He's always been so blank.
And Thor never learned how to read it effectively.
Loki stares at him, his eyes narrowing a little, and Thor can see him sweeping his gaze across his frame. Finding differences between his past self and now. Loki is going to get paranoid and refuse to believe him if Thor doesn't act quickly. Doesn't rectify this.
"Please," Thor whispers, hating how stupid and pathetic his voice sounds, "I need you."
He nearly slams a hand over his mouth.
So childish.
Loki's fingers rub against his chest a little, but Thor realizes with a dull pang that he's strained his posture again. Refusing to show weakness. "Thor, I could have sworn—" Both of them turn their heads as a loud crash rings up behind them and Thor sees Hulk getting thrown by Thanos. Then himself bringing up the pipe to hit the Titan with.
Loki's entire body stills.
Thor squeezes his eyes shut.
Please, please, please.
Please take me seriously.
Please want to come with me.
Thor peels his eyes apart with some effort and sees that Loki is staring at him. It isn't open gawking, instead it's hardened; angry, and Thor has a second to realize that Loki's going to move before his brother leaps at him. Both of them go down hard, and Loki brings his left hand up to slit his throat as Stormbreaker slips from his fingers. Honed reflexes from hundred of years of battle are the only thing that keeps him moving fast enough to stop it.
He jerks out of the way and slams a fist against Loki's forearm, causing his younger brother's hand to twitch, loosening grip enough that Thor manages to wiggle the weapon free from his grip, shoving Loki off of him.
Loki doesn't believe him.
Oh, Norns, he's made a mess of this. A mess and mess and mess. He needs to get the Tesseract and get out of here before he makes it worse.
He outstretches his hand for Stormbreaker, but Loki slams into him again, shoving him face first into the cold floor of the Statesmen. Thor attempts to worm from the grip, but Loki's hand, glowing with raw, white energy lifts to his face. He can feel the buzz of heat and crisp ice against his skin and his only remaining eye.
Thor stills.
"Give it up, Ebony," Loki's voice is a soft hiss, "you and I know how this will end."
Ebony?
"I don't—" Thor starts, confused, but Loki's hand lifts closer. Thor strains to move away before it burns him.
"Remove the glamour." Loki commands.
"Loki," Thor tries again, attempting to wiggle his elbow free enough that he can bring it up to ram against Loki's side, "stop. Stop. I'm not Ebony Maw. Please, I'm your brother. From the future," words are falling from his mouth now, and he can't quite get them to stop: "When we younger, Mother had a favorite vase with wild animals on it that we broke, we didn't tell a soul. Heimdall knew, though, but he didn't let her get to cross with us. You took the throne from Odin. Mother was raised by witches after her father tried to hide her from the war between Asgard and Vanaheim, I don't...Loki please, I swear to you on my life that I'm not lying."
The hand. Take the hand away from his face before he loses that eye, too.
Thor can feel the edge of Loki's sedir touch against him, then draw back again and Loki staggers backwards, the offensive position slipping. Thor rolls onto his back, hands shaking with relief. He's not going to go blind, Loki—
Loki.
He shoves himself into a sitting position, and sees Loki staring at him with uncharacteristically wide, believing eyes. He's hit with a wave of relief so overpowering he nearly collapses onto his back again. "You're really—"
"Yes." Thor agrees.
"I—don't understand." Loki says, gnawing on his lower lip as his eyes rapidly flick back and forth as he thinks, and then his face loses a little of the remaining color. His green eyes lift to meet Thor's blue, "This goes poorly, doesn't it?"
Thor flinches.
"You're…" Thor can't finish it outloud. Strangled. In less than two minutes from now. Thor sees his past self get taken captive by Ebony Maw and tries not to flinch.
They are running out of time.
Thor barely represses a curse, and struggles into a standing position. Loki meets him there, his stance still that lopsided mess, "We need to hurry, I'll explain everything when we return. Where is the Tesseract?"
Loki's gaze flicks towards the blue cube, lying among the rubble innocently. It has no idea the death and destruction it is about to be a part of. Thor moves forward rapidly and picks it up, his hand numbing a little. He clenches the glass tightly.
He looks back at Loki, and then stops.
Loki's stance has hardened.
He's not coming.
Thor wants to grab him by his shoulders and rattle him back and forth. Doesn't he understand what he's losing!? There is no round two. This is it. Thor can't come back here unless he's going to return the Tesseract. This is his one chance to fix everything.
"Loki, please," Thor's voice is barely above a beg. He can't do this by himself anymore. He can't survive if Loki isn't doing the same.
Loki's gaze lifts to his own, "Brother, I can't leave him—you—here to die, you know how time works, Thor, you've already broken enough rules just by being here. You shouldn't have interfered."
No.
No.
Thor barely represses a sob, and hates that he feels the need to weep in the first place. He's not a child anymore. He hasn't been for a long time. He feels ancient. "Loki, I swear, just—you die here." Thor blurts, and nearly kicks himself because he's making a mess of everything again. He shouldn't have said that.
Loki stills a little and breathes out a quiet "oh".
"I can still save you," Thor pleads, "please, please, let me save you, little brother."
Something in Loki's face softens, and his fingers twist. A doppelganger appears beside them, and Loki waves it forward towards the mess. Thor knows that Thanos picks up the Tesseract, soon perhaps now, and Thor can't see Loki die again, even if he knows now that it was all for show.
Show.
Thor watched Loki's neck snap and it was for show.
Thor grabs Loki's wrist before his younger brother can disagree again, and wrangles on the spare watch that Tony gave him, pressing down on the button; and then, keeping a firm grip on his brother's living, breathing hand, slams his hand on his own space-watch-whatever-Tony-started-to-call-it, ignoring the slight noise that Loki makes when he does so.
Both of them, and the stupid Tesseract are pulled forward in time a second later.
Author's Note: Whoa. Okay. Tiny chapter, sorry about that, but I had to cut it here. :)
I noticed that almost everyone who reviewed/commented mentioned that they were feeling frustrated/upset by the way that Endgame turned out-and guys, I get you 100%, but it's because of this that I have a little challenge: If you choose to comment, I would love it if you left something (not super detailed guys, this is the internet and privacy is a good thing) GOOD that happened to you the last week. I know that sounds a little counter productive, but we need some cheer, my stars! =) If you choose not to do so, I completely understand, but leave your thoughts anyway! I'd love to hear from you!
I'll go first on the challenge: I unexpectedly did really well on the exams I took last week. :)
Next chapter: Probably May 10th, 17th, or sometime between that. Until then, loves!