"We'll be married outside," I informed Toshiro suddenly as I snuggled closer into his warm shoulder on the Ferris wheel. We could see for miles in every direction.
"On a beach?" he asked.
I nodded. I swear that Toshiro could read my mind sometimes. "Like our first date."
Toshiro laughed suddenly. "I can just picture it now. Your family and mine, sitting together to watch us get married. I wonder what the expression on your mother's face would be."
I laughed as well and tried to picture it. What would my mother look like on my wedding day? "She'll probably be so furious she won't even come."
"Are you okay with that?" Toshiro asked me suddenly.
I looked up into his beautiful soft brown eyes, filled with love and concern. I nodded and placed a light kiss on his lips. "As long as I have you."
My mother looked very smug and happy, sitting next to the Prime Minister of Japan as she watched me walk down the aisle. I wanted to slap that smile off her face. I have never hated her so much.
Tsukasa, I was happy to notice, was staring at me like I was a goddess. I had never shown him this wedding dress before. For a boy who got into violent fistfights with everyone at school, he always seemed to love me with the greatest of sibling affections. We were so alone, for such a long time. It was no wonder that we would bond so closely. Neither of us had many friends. I wondered for a moment what would happen to Tsukasa after I married. Then I remembered the F4 and smiled a little. Thank god Tsukasa had at least some friends.
The little girl in front of me, who was the daughter of the owner of half of the cell phone signals in Japan, threw rose petals with an elegance that's trained into every single girl of my social class. I suppose that one day, she too will be walking down some grand hall in a white dress getting married to a man she had never met before. I sighed and wondered if I could ever be happy again or if everything, even a girl throwing flowers, would remind me of my tragic life.
The hall I was walking down was large, with ceilings that seemed to be lost in the large stone arches. Though five hundred people sat in it on elegant satin chairs, it didn't seem crowded in the least. It seemed like the only part of the house that was not covered with marble.
He was very tall. That was my first impression as I entered the hall. Taller than all of the people around him, all of the people I've ever met. But it was not his height that intimidated me. I saw what frightened my mother. It was that cold look in his eyes, like unbending steel. You knew, when you looked into those eyes, that if you ever crossed him, he would hunt you down and skin you alive. I shivered in my wedding dress as I watched him. He watched me as well, though his eyes did not meet mine. His eyes were traveling down my body, slowly, from one inch to another. I shivered again. I felt dirty. He was judging the piece of merchandise he had bought.
His eyes had finished their leisurely perusal of my body just as I reached the altar. And then his eyes turned towards the man performing the ceremony so that he never looked at me.
I had dreamed of my marriage so many times, like any other girl. It had always been to Toshiro. Toshiro with his kind brown eyes and laughing smile. He would be looking at me throughout the ceremony, not like this monster who stared straight ahead like it was a business meeting. I wanted to laugh. I suppose it was a business meeting. A merger of some sorts. I wondered what my mother would do if I laughed. I considered doing it, but I glanced up at those steel colored eyes and stopped. This man looked like he would kill me if I did anything of the sort.
"Do you take this man, Tsubaki Domyoji?" asked the priest.
I looked up from my thoughts and was startled. Had we already gotten to this part? I wondered for a long moment what would happen if I said no. I wondered what would happen if I ran out of this marbled palace and found Toshiro. He would laugh and kiss me and call me his sweet heaven. Did I really have a choice in this?
"Yes," I whispered, just loud enough for the priest and the man standing next to me to hear.
The priest nodded consent.
"Do you take this woman, Takeshi Aoyama?" asked the priest again.
I looked up at him, and wondered for the first time why he had agreed to marry me. We were a rich company and he would gain financially from this marriage. I knew that. Yet, he was not forced into this like I was. Both his parents were dead. He has no one pressuring him to marry some girl he has never met before. Didn't he believe in love? Didn't he believe he'd find the right girl for him, somewhere out there?
"I do," he said, in a clear voice. It was the first time I've heard him speak. It was the kind of voice that could calm a crowd, take control in a panic, and scare the hell out of any one in the world. It was a hard voice, and perfectly devoid of emotions.
Why marry me? Why not for love? Was this man like my mother? Someone who saw money and business as two of the most important things in the world?
"Congratulations. I pronounce you man and wife," and then it was over.
I was officially married. I wanted to throw myself off of a building.
I feared for a second that he would kiss me, but he made no move to do so. Instead, he turned and did not look at me. He took hold of my arm, and it was a hard grasp. Hard enough to leave bruises in the morning, I'm sure. To everyone else, I'm sure it looked like he was just taking my arm and guiding me down the aisle, like a husband would do for a wife.
He tugged me down the aisle again. Everyone stood up and clapped as we walked, and I wanted him to let go. I wasn't going to run away. Not now, anyways. But his hold did not loosen.
When we finished walking down the aisle, we made a right turn and came into a corridor. Marble corridor. What a surprise. He loosened his grip and motioned for a servant. A woman old enough to be Tama walked towards me. She smiled at me and looked quite kind.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Madam Aoyama," she said in a deep, warm tone.
Madam Aoyama. Oh god. How revolting that sounded.
"Please let me show you to your room," she said, and motioned for me to walk down the corridor.
I turned around, but there was no one there. Takeshi Aoyama had already disappeared.
After walking past more marble than I had ever seen in a lifetime, several wide sweeping staircases, and beautiful sculptures, we came to a stop in front of two thick double doors, made of mahogany.
I was ushered into the room by the maid. It was larger than most rooms I've been in, and a bed bigger than any I've ever seen dominated one side. Leather couches that looked masculine and dangerous clustered around a large fireplace. A magnificent crystal chandelier lit the entire room. It reminded me of the one at the Metropolitan Opera in New York City. I wondered if this one was adorned with Swarovski crystals as well.
"Your luggage have been sent from the Domyoji household, and we've unpacked them for you in your personal closet," the maid said, pointing to an antique eggshell colored door to the far corner of the room.
I nodded, too tired to even think. The maid smiled at me kindly again.
"And your kimono for the reception is in your changing closet," she said as she assisted me out of the large, white wedding dress.
"The reception?" I asked as I stood there in my underwear, corset and stockings. No. This was not happening. I had done everything that witch wanted. I had married this man that I had never met in my life. Now it was done and I was no longer her pawn to push around. No more. I would give her no more of my life.
"Yes. The master is expecting you to attend at his arms."
"No," I heard someone say.
"Miss?"
"No. I'm not going," I said more firmly this time.
"But miss-" and before the maid could finish her sentence, I was already walking towards one of those ivory doors.
I slammed it behind me and locked it. I could still hear the maid yelling my name and begging me to open the door. It wasn't her fault. I knew that. But I couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't stand the constant orders or the fact that my life was planned out for me, minute by minute.
Had my eyes not been filled with tears, I'm sure I would've gasped at the sheer elegance of the bathroom I had just locked myself into. A large crawfoot bathtub that looked like it could fit two people easily rested against a wall. A large window, trimmed in ivory and gold, provided a stunning view of a lake. Marble was everywhere, from the floor to the walls to the gigantic sink. A large, comfortable chaise looked welcoming in this world of coldness. I grabbed a towel from the rack, a large fluffy thing made of the finest Egyptian cotton I believe, and wrapped myself in it. Exhausted, from the wedding, my mother, and the sleepless night yesterday, I collapsed onto the oversized chair and fell asleep instantly with tears streaming down my face.