Chapter 2 – The Meaning

I watched her walk into the music room, quietly and peacefully. We were all sitting on the couches, awaiting her arrival. Tamaki then stood up (to be polite) and welcomed her. "We've been waiting for you," he spoke out.

"You didn't have to be so formal with me," She said back, taking one of her hands to her forehead to move her chocolate-colored hair from her eyes. She then walked towards us and sat down next to me and smiled. I smiled back. There seemed to be a pattern as to what we would do every time we saw each other.

I twiddled my thumbs in anticipation for the bell to ring for lunch. I then quickly got up, grabbed my books, and attempted reach her before she disappeared in the crowd. As I reached the doorway, I stopped abruptly once I saw the lord waiting for her to walk her to lunch. Why had I forgotten so soon? I tried to keep my and Haruhi's relationship at an emotional distance ever since Tamaki had asked her out. To tell you the truth, I was quite surprised when she agreed to be his girlfriend. They spent a lot of time together at the mall or at his/her house; just… together.

I can't stand it.

It gets me infuriated every time I see them together. I hate it when she smiles up at him and he smiles back. I hate how when they walk down the halls, they're holding hands when really they aren't touching. I hate it when he touches her. I hate it.

Haruhi… Haruhi… Haruhi…

How can I even begin to describe her? She's beautiful; her many layers expose her generosity, innocence, and determination. Her hair is just the right length, her body is just the right shape, and her figure is just the right size. I would often sit in bed, next to Kaoru, and wonder if what I was feeling was in fact love.

The meaning of love is something I still need to find within myself. Is it there when she looks at me and my body gets hot? Is it there when she touches me and I find myself aching for more?

The day before yesterday was the day he asked her out. Kaoru had sensed I liked her long ago, but he didn't ask me about it. I was sure, though, that he knew now. I was walking back from my classroom when I saw them alone in the courtyard. It was the end of the day… I had nothing better to do… so I watched. I saw their lips moving, but I didn't hear a word. They smiled at each other, and then after a small moment, they hugged. I felt numb. I hadn't established the love I had for her then that I did immediately after. It was like a maze of 'but's and 'if's that stopped me from telling myself my true feelings for her. I was too afraid to find the exit. Outside of the walls of the maze, I'd be vulnerable and exposed. I didn't know what to do. There was nothing left for me to do but walk away. And that's what I did.

The next time I saw her was when she was walking home. I had already decided to take the long way home so I began to follow her at a pretty long distance. Before I knew it, it would have seemed as though I was stalking her. It felt like if I let her out of my sight, I'd be letting her out of my life. I couldn't let that happen- not for anything in the world. Within a few moments she had entered her house and I was there looking into the window. If only I could have been in there with her.

Minutes of watching soon turned into an hour. I had cleared my mind of everything but Haruhi. I had forgotten that I was supposed to meet Kaoru after school so we could walk home together. She was too precious. I then sat down under her bedroom window and began my homework. She was busy with her own so I wasn't worried about losing her. Two more hours had passed. It was 5:30 and I was starting to get tired, not to mention hungry. I had to get up. It had been long enough.

I stood up and began to walk towards a small food stand on the corner and bought myself something small and hot to eat. I looked back into Haruhi's house and a light was on in her bedroom. Sure, it was fall and the days were getting shorter, but why hadn't she shut her curtains? Did she forget? I then proceeded to walk back over to her house and peer into the window. I was shocked at the next thing I saw.

She was getting dressed. Haruhi was getting undressed right before my eyes. Her blinds had not been shut and her light was turned on. It was like she was begging me to watch her. I couldn't help myself but stare in awe at her perfect, ivory-colored flesh as she exposed it- goose bumps covering her soft back. She then slowly removed her school pants and revealed her cute white underwear. It was like a dream. She then bent over her bed and picked up a pink nightgown. Haruhi was adorable but sophisticated- I loved it. She then pulled it over her head and turned towards the window. I panicked and ran swiftly to the street and began to walk casually away. I snuck a peek into her window once more to see if she was looking and I managed to see a smile as she waved to me. She couldn't think it was me, so I ignored it.

Who was I? Since when had I found pleasure in doing something so… so… stalker-like?

I don't know anymore… I don't know...

jeeperz creeperz! alright. I not only have a notice for this fic but also the other one ('mixed feelings'). Um... oh; ok, so I haven't been able to update that one in a VERY LONG TIME simply because my laptop isn't working therefore I can't get the story off of it... yes... it sucks. TWO! I really need to know how this one is going. if I get no reviews, its DONE! (don don da!!!)