Balthier sighed. "Look, can you just get it done? We have to leave within the hour or we won't make it to Bhujerba before nightfall."
Rikken grumbled and walked off to fulfill his request. He called back to the sky pirate over his shoulder. "I can't guarantee you that they'll be as authentic as you want. As previously established…you're mad."
He shooed the young man away as Ashe stood in the same position she had been for the past fifteen minutes while he had spoken with Reddas' right hand man. Arms crossed, increasingly furious facial expression. "Explain to me again why you can't take Fran," she demanded.
"For the last time, Princess, he will know her immediately. Not many other Viera at Sir Merritt's little get-togethers. Besides, we need her to stay here in case he's duped us with this Bhujerba idea," he explained for what felt like the hundredth time since he had explained his plot in the first place.
It had made perfect sense in his mind, and the others had seemingly agreed that it was a sensible enough plan. Well, Basch hadn't been overly fond of it. And neither was his royal charge. Fran and Basch would be holding down the fort in Balfonheim with the assistance of Vaan and Penelo while he and Ashe flew to Bhujerba to infiltrate the ball in search of Durio and the Strahl.
Rikken was on his way to have fake papers created for them, and Elza was procuring clothes for the ball. Little Raz was charged with forging invitations for them. All was going well thus far…with the exception of his new partner in crime. She wasn't exactly behaving in a cooperative fashion.
They simply waited for all the pieces to come together in Reddas' manse, the looming threat of Bahamut still on everyone's minds. Elza poked her head out from a door at the top of the stairs. "Ashe? I think we're the same size. Why don't you try these on?"
Balthier could visibly see the color drain from the Princess Ashe's face. Although Ashe herself was not always dressed conservatively, she looked like an acolyte of Kiltia compared to Elza's usual attire. She glared at him and trudged up the stairs to select the clothes she would be wearing that evening.
Luckily enough for Balthier, his usual garb was suitable for traveling as an aristocratic party guest, and he had snagged a more elaborate outfit for the ball from one of the rooms in Reddas' home. Although Balthier had argued that the man was not returning for his clothes, Vaan was still not speaking with him. The entire group was a bit punchy with the delays, and Balthier could not wait to quit Balfonheim. However, Ashe's attitude was proving to be a pain in the you know what, and he'd be spending the remainder of the day with her. He just wanted his airship back, and once that happened, Balthier would be a happier man.
"We're going to go shopping. We'll make sure that we have the best arms for…tomorrow," Penelo said encouragingly, and she dragged Vaan away from the manse. He was now stuck in the room with Basch, who was probably plotting his death, and his partner, who seemed to regard him with nothing but contempt for getting them all into this mess.
Raz bounded in happily, waving a large envelope. "I ran into Rikken on the way back, so he has the names. I guess I always work better under pressure," he remarked and handed the envelope to Balthier.
The sky pirate frowned. "I thought I asked you for two invitations…"
Raz shook his head. "Well I figured that you just needed the one. Both your new names are on there, don't worry about it! Sir Merritt's people will have enough rooms; they won't even know you weren't on the guest list!"
Balthier pulled the elaborate paper invite out of the envelope, and he grinned widely. Ashe was going to wring his pirate neck. He put the invitation back and bowed to little Raz. "I am sorry to have doubted you. This will be perfect."
Fran glanced up at him, and he gave her a wink. "She is going to seriously harm you, Balthier," the Viera muttered, and Basch looked between them, but he could not decipher their meaning.
The door at the top of the stairs opened, and Ashe emerged. Instead of her usual attire, she was now dressed in a long blue gown. To her clear discomfort, it had the obvious Elza touch with a plunging neckline and a slit up the side. But the Princess had found a thin shawl to wear over it to more closely embody her new status as a guest of Sir Merritt. "Doesn't she look positively royal?" Elza exclaimed happily, carrying a bag behind Ashe.
"She is royal, Elza," Balthier answered with a shake of his head. Ashe marched down the stairs in an obvious huff. "Besides, she only needs to look like gentry, and you have succeeded. I'm surprised you even owned something like that." Elza snorted and handed Ashe a garment bag with her evening attire.
Ashe collapsed in an arm chair next to Basch and crossed her arms defiantly. Elza laughed and wandered off to check on Rikken's progress. The room was uncomfortably silent, and Balthier knew that the day was far from what they had expected. But they would never sneak aboard the Bahamut without the Strahl, so they did not have much choice.
Minutes later, Rikken rushed back in, a triumphant smile on his face. "You owe me big time for this," he boasted, handing traveling papers to Balthier and the Princess. The sky pirate nodded in thanks and opened the papers to grin at the new name that appeared there. He looked over to see Ashe glance at the papers, and he could see her eyes narrow the second she noticed it.
"Wait a minute here…" she said quickly, and he walked over to drop the ball invitation into her lap. She took it out of the envelope, and the look on her face was one he would never forget for the rest of his life. "Lord and Lady?!"
He put his hands on his hips and looked down at her. "I know it's a step down on the aristocrat ladder for you…"
She stood up to scowl up at him, and despite her smaller stature, she was rather intimidating. "That's not what I'm saying!" She shoved the invitation in his face. "I am to pose as your WIFE?!" she cried. Basch stood up angrily, and Balthier waved him off.
"That's the idea," he replied, taking the invitation from her and sliding it into her bag of clothes. She sputtered for a few moments, unable to reply, and it appeared that Basch was equally irritated and speechless. "Come on, we have to make for the aerodrome." He picked up her bag and slung it over his shoulder and headed for the door.
Finally, she found words. "I can't do that! I am not that good of a LIAR!" she complained, and he turned around to grin at her.
Fran and Basch stood behind her, made up of equal parts disgust and slight amusement at their bickering. He approached the Princess and patted her on the head like a child. "Ashe, one day very soon you will be a politician of the highest order. Wouldn't you like to practice lying to people's faces?"
She swatted his hand away and moved ahead of him to storm out the door. At the very least, she had the haughty noble blood lending itself well to her disguise. Fran walked past shaking her head, and Basch stayed behind to march along at his side.
"If you do not return by this time tomorrow, Fran and I are coming for you," he remarked. Balthier nodded in acknowledgment, although he knew they were worrying for no reason. This plan would work if he had to cast a love spell on his new wife.
The knight continued his warnings. "And do not take advantage of her Highness because you are playing a part. I know many ways to kill a man without anyone knowing it was murder," Basch threatened menacingly, and the sky pirate laughed. The rest of the walk to the aerodrome was calm enough with the exception of the loud sighs that seemed to emanate from the Princess every other minute.
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Ashe stared out the window, and he knew she was irritated to be flying in the opposite direction they had planned for that day. He sat across from her as the ship flew south towards Bhujerba. They were in a private cabin thanks to their impeccable travel papers, but she had said very little since they had boarded. The only acknowledgment Balthier had received from her was a look of disgust as he wore her husband's ring on his finger.
But if they were to ask around about the Strahl that night, it was essential that they played their parts well. Balthier knew he was up to the task since lying was like second nature to him. But would Her Majesty hold up her end of the deal? He smiled to himself. If she didn't, there would be no Strahl to escort her in comfort to certain doom aboard the Bahamut.
He waved his hand in her face to snap her out of her staring. "Shall we practice our story?" he asked calmly, but she still would not turn to face him.
"Fine," she muttered, her brow furrowing as she continued to gaze out the small porthole. This was not going to be easy, Balthier thought.
He leaned forward. "Where did we meet?"
She finally turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. "In a sewer. You had just stolen treasure from my palace."
He sighed. If this was what being married to Ashelia B'Nargin Dalmasca would be like, he would embrace bachelorhood for the rest of his days. "Well, that was Vaan who took that trinket, but that is irrelevant at this juncture."
She stared at him blankly. It appeared he was to come up with the story. He sat back in the seat and looked at her, scrutinizing her appearance. She looked at her lap.
"We met one summer while I was home from the Akademy. Your father, a dear friend of my parents for many years, sent you to our estate to be tutored. By that winter we were pledged to one another and the following year was the wedding. You looked beautiful that day…"
She looked up at him. "Balthier, hold on…"
He held up a hand to stop her. "No no no, that is not my name. I'm…" he reached into his pocket to pull out the travel papers. "Cullen Heras Hetterick, Lord Radovan. Wow. Rikken really outdid himself, I'll give him that." He returned the papers and gave her a grin. "And Lord Radovan's strikingly gorgeous wife? What is her name?"
For what was quite possibly the millionth time that day, Ashe glared at him. She undid the clasp on her bag and pulled out her papers. "Alene Davonia Shellore, Lady Radovan," she replied with a frown.
"You don't like it?" he asked.
She shook her head and set the papers down in the seat next to her. "It's not my name."
"Neither was Amalia."
She was quiet then. He decided to continue to instruct her in their history together. "So we were wed, as already stated. For our leisure, we invest in the theatre district in Archades. Our last venture, Our Rozarrian Maid, ran for sixty-two weeks at the Aristophanes in Trant."
"Our Rozarrian Maid?" she parroted back.
He buried his head in his hands. She was the most stubborn woman he'd ever met. He didn't know if he wanted to throttle her or make passionate love to her. "Alene…" he complained, at least attempting to stay in character.
She leaned forward and tilted her head sideways to look at him. "Wasn't it Our Rozarrian Cousin?"
He loved her. Balthier raised his eyes to meet hers, which were a lot more welcoming than they had been earlier. "Right you are. And you love the scent of the orange blossoms on our estate in Tsenoble, but you're getting a bit irritated with all the nouveau riche moving in there, and you want to set up house in Bhujerba one of these days."
She actually smiled at him, a teeth-baring, wide open smile. "And you spend every night gambling away my dowry…"
He put his hand over his heart. "Are you insinuating that there is trouble in paradise?"
She giggled, a delightful sound that he had not heard their entire journey. He wanted to hear it much much more. "If you and I were truly wed…"
"If?"
The Princess bit her lip and appeared to be holding back from something. Finally, she reached her hand forward to cup his cheek, her eyes full of adoration. "Oh my sweet Cullen, your Aleenie wouldn't change you for the world."
He was awestruck. Her Majesty was a consummate actress. She dropped her hand, but he caught it excitedly, giving her a squeeze. "That was amazing! Well done, Aleenie!" he praised her, and she blushed at the attention. But he remembered Basch's threat and released her. He sat back and turned sideways, propping his legs up on the chair beside him.
She looked back at the papers in her lap, probably continuing to scrutinize her new name and title. Balthier decided to consider every possible question that some meddling busybody at the ball would ask. "So how soon can we expect an heir to the Radovan name?"
Where he expected her to be embarrassed, she did not even look away from the papers. Her reply sounded completely natural. "Oh, we've been trying for a while now."
"We have?" he managed to squeak out, a sound very unbecoming of a gentry man like himself…or a sky pirate for that matter.
She looked up from the papers and nodded. "Constantly."
The wicked creature! Where had this version of Ashe been all this time? He supposed that trouble at every turn and constant battling had robbed her of her sense of humor, but he was rather enjoying what he was now bearing witness to. And now he couldn't ignore the thought of "constantly" trying for a Radovan heir with the lovely woman across from him.
"Admit it," he said to her, "you're having fun."
She set the papers aside and stretched her legs across the aisle to lay her feet on his chest. "Maybe." Had someone slipped her some concoction when he wasn't looking? Who was this strange woman and what had she done with that grump of a Princess? Even Fran was never this much fun on some of their more elaborate capers.
He dared to rest his hands atop her shins, and he did not detect any flinching on her part, aside from the glowing red color that was spreading to the tips of her ears. Balthier smiled and closed his eyes to relax. If she was to use him as a glorified foot rest, then he was going to take his leave to get more acquainted with his new wife's ankles.
"We make a good team, Princess," he mumbled as he listened to the soothing hum of the airship. He only heard a gentle "Mmm" in response, and he let himself drift off for the remainder of the flight, the Princess' delicate feet perched atop him like they were meant to be there.