Chapter 1: King's Cross Station

Micah's studio apartment was surprisingly roomy. Brendan, Josh, Meghan, Stefanie and, of course, Micah were all present. The place was covered in snacks and drinks although there wasn't much in the way of decoration. Micah had promised for his "Zombie Apocalypse" DnD there would be appropriate décor, but this session had kind of been thrown together last minute.

There were a few things, such as Micah's copy of Quidditch Throughout The Ages and some printed up Daily Prophets which Micah had taken the time to make himself with the backstory for the game they would be playing tonight. For tonight these champions among men and women would be partaking in the most awesome sport known to man.

They were playing some Dungeons and Dragons.

To add to the intense awesomeness which anybody hearing that must have thought this was a Harry Potter Dungeons and Dragon which Brendan had developed himself from scratch. The group that gathered here tonight met under the banner of Clan Cur Roleplaying, a small group of friends with a shared passion for random DnD experiences with completely unusual outcomes.

Micah insisted on recording all these sessions as they were often hilarious, and Brendan had obliged, using his iPhone to record the session. They had set it down on a whiteboard which lay flat on the carpet to provide a clearer sound; one of the better ideas.

"Hello hello," Josh said, speaking into a Microphone which Micah had also set up, rather pointlessly as that recording would later be scrapped as the iPhone picked up everyone perfectly.

"Okay so Stefanie you're name is Lisbeth Lecter. You've chosen a wand made of Ash wood, 13 inches with Unicorn Hair. You're perk is that you're a Parselmouth and you are a Pureblood," Brendan confirmed.

Stefanie nodded. "Yes."

"You already know what I am," Micah announced. "Richard Cumwell III, Maple wand 13 ½ inches with Dragon Heartstring. I'm a Metamorphmagus and a Half-Blood."

"Ew, don't touch me then," Stefanie smirked getting into character. Micah had his arm around her back.

"I'm, uh, Jokstica," Meghan said.

"We need a full name," Brendan said.

"Well I don't know. Jokstica Something… just use Something as my last name. Mahogany Wand, 14 inches, Phoenix Feather. I'm a Half-Blood and… what do I want my perk to be?"

"What do you think you'd be good at?" Micah asked.

"I don't know, just make me a natural flyer. That could come in handy," Meghan said.

"And you Josh?" Brendan asked.

"Just call me That Guy With The Hat," Josh said.

"So much for having to have a full name," Meghan smirked.

"I've got a Snake Bone wand, seven inches with Unicorn Hair. I'll also be a Metamorphmagus and… can I just withhold my blood status?" Josh asked.

"Uh, sure, that's fine," Brendan nodded.

"Okay are we ready?" Meghan asked.

"I think we are," Brendan nodded.

The background musical overture from Harry Potter reached a climax and ended adding a period to this declaration.

"Perfect timing with the music!" Micah called out.

The game had begun.

==King's Cross Station==

Richard Cumwell III found himself at King's Cross Station. The great scarlet steam engine, the sounds of excited children. He looked around at all the others just like him. For some of them this might be their first time visiting this place. However, for him and his classmates, it would be their first time boarding the Hogwarts Express.

He felt himself get shoved to the side by a young bossy looking girl with short curly brunette hair. She looked back and gave him a contemptuous look, but then walked snootily onto the Hogwarts Express.

"What's her problem?" Richard wondered.

Lisbeth Lecter

Lisbeth shoved past the boring looking young man. She turned around and glared at him. She could tell just by looking at him what a waste of time he was. It wasn't just that tacky second-hand robe, but that inexcusable wizard's hat that he wore. It wasn't like anything she'd ever seen before. It was more like a Top Hat, except for it was about four sizes too big for his head.

"Must come from a poor family," Lisbeth said to herself as she made her way to her compartment.

She looked around for a place to sit when she heard some voices coming from a cabin near by. There were a few older voices and they were talking about a variety of enchanting subjects. The size of their mansions, pranks they had pulled on their servants, and Lisbeth's personal favorite, which House Elf could, and had, won in a fight to the death against one another.

It was clear enough to her that she had found her people, and as she opened the cabin she was not surprised to see a shower of green all around her. Everybody in this cabin was, or was very likely going to be, a Slytherin.

"Room for one more?" Lisbeth asked, not bothering to wait for approval before sitting down.

The Guy With The Hat

Guy With The Hat, they called him. If that clown in the oversized top-hat was gathering attention, then he certainly was. It wasn't enough that he had just proceeded to win a galleon (well technically a galleon and a knut) at a rather secretive and rather illegal game of Exploding Snap, but his own hat was more like an adventurer's cap. It was dusky and worn. It was also slightly bigger than need be, but it had apparently been his father's who himself had been quite the magical adventurer. It reminded him of a hat that he had once seen a Muggle hero known as "Indiana Jones" wear. It was slightly different as this hat was magically enchanted to always stay with its wearer unless the wearer chose to remove it.

And so he had been called Guy With The Hat by his friends. Nobody knew, or cared to know, his true name. And that was the way he preferred it.

As he walked down the platform to prepare to enter the Hogwart's Express he was startled by hearing a little girl shout at the top of her lungs: "SOMEONE TALK TO MEEEEE!"

He paused just long enough to give her a look which was half-annoyed and half-terrified before turning away. He walked onto the train and while the sweets trolley operator wasn't looking he swiped two Cauldron cakes. Now he would just have to wait for the right sucker to play a game with. If there was one thing he was good at, it was biding his time.

He approached one of the cabins and saw a boy sitting by himself. He casually tossed the second Cauldron Cake at him.

"Hey, we're friends now," The Guy With The Hat said simply, sitting down in the cabin beside him.

"Do… do I have to do anything?" The kid asked.

"Yeah, go get me a pumpkin juice," he replied.

"Okay!"

Jokstica Something

Jokstica had kept her eyes closed the entire time she had walked through the barrier. She hadn't dared open her eyes the entire time and yet foolishly kept moving until she collided with the train itself. She opened her eyes and all she saw was metal. She panicked. Had she done something wrong, she thought? Even though voices were all around her and they all sounded perfectly calm, and even though simply turning her head to the left or right would have solved the problem, the panic stricken girl just screamed as loud as she could.

"SOMEONE TALK TO MEEEE!"

A young boy passed by her but stopped. She turned and saw where she was. She was on the platform, and there were several people, including this young boy, now staring at her. The boy gave her a puzzled and irritated sort of look and then boarded the train.

She looked around and saw a creepy man wearing a trenchcoat sitting on the bench. He was escorted away by two guards.

"Ew," she said, moving towards the train. She saw a boy wearing a really odd hat starting to board the train and a devilish streak suddenly hit her.

She made a move to trip him, but managed to trip herself in the process.

"Ouch!" She whined.

"Hey Upfish, look! Somebody who's even dumber than you!" The boy screamed as he ran into the train.

Apparently he was chasing after somebody as all that Jokstica heard after that was a loud wailing from within. She stood up, dusted herself off and entered the train. She saw the trolley lady and her stomach began to rumble. Breakfast had seemed like such a long time ago.

"Uh… how much is a sickles worth of snacks?" She asked.

The lady gave her an annoyed look. "How much is a sickles worth of snacks? It's a sickle."

Jokstica trembled. "I… I mean what can I get for a sickle?"

"You can get a pack of gum," the lady said.

"Uh… what can I get for five sickles?" Jokstica asked.

The lady was clearly annoyed now. She sighed. "Five packs of gum," she looked at her trolley. "Or a Cauldron Cake."

"I'll take a Cauldron cake," she said, handing over the five silver coins. She entered a cabin and saw that there was one lone boy.

"I'm Jokstica," she said. "Wanna be my friend?"

The boy looked at her with a mixture of annoyance and terror. "Uh… well what's in it for me?"

"You… wanna split a Cauldron Cake?"

"Sweet!"

Richard Cumwell III

Richard was not well in the head. He could act like a decent guy usually, but he wasn't. He always felt like there was more than just one person inside of him. Sometimes he would want to behave, and he would try really hard to behave, but then something burst out of him.

That moment happened just now as he approached an awkward looking boy who was standing by himself.

"Hello," Richard said. "My name is Richard Cumwell III. What's your name?"

"Oh… hello," the boy said. "My name is… its Upfish."

"Upfish? What kind of a name is Upfish?" Richard laughed.

To his terror, the boy began wailing. He could have sworn that was a joke. Could that possibly really be his name?

"Why do you have to make fun of me?!" He sobbed. "Why does everyone have to make fun of my name!"

"I'm not trying to insult you…" And then it happened. He had meant to console him, but something evil sprung out from inside of him and he just replied with "I'm just saying you're name is stupid and you should go kill yourself."

The boy ran inside and out of nowhere he felt an urge to chase him. He saw a girl try to trip him up, only managing to trip herself.

"Hey, Upfish, look! Somebody who's even dumber than you!" He yelled excitedly.

Upfish was fast and was well into the next train car by the time Richard's senses had caught up with him. What was he thinking? Why couldn't he control those thoughts and impulses? He resolved that he would go find Upfish, wherever he was, and apologize.

It took him almost a whole fifteen minutes to find him, he was sitting alone in a cabin and crying to himself.

"Hey Upfish, I'm sorry about before. I just… I was kidding is all, okay?"

"No, it's not that," Upfish said, continuing to cry. "It's my pet toad. I lost him."

"Hey, would it cheer you up if I found him for you?" Richard exclaimed.

"Well… yeah…" Upfish said.

"Well okay then I'll go look for him!" Richard said. Another urge and he looked down his pants. "Not down there!"

"That's not helping…" Upfish sighed.

Richard left the compartment, smacked himself in his head with his own hat and then continued the search. The train was crowded now and it couldn't be long before it took off. He did manage to hear a group of loud Slytherins talking about a frog. He opened the cabin. In the cabin across from his, the snooty looking girl from before saw him and glared.

"Hey buddies!" Richard shouted in a voice that was harsh and dark, and not his own. "What are you doing with my friend's toad?"

The older boy smirked. "We have it, what about it?"

"How'd you like to make an easy galleon?" Richard said. "You just hand me that toad, and your balls get to stay right where they are!"

The older boy leaned back. "How would you like to make an easy galleon?"

Richard folded his arms. Or maybe it wasn't Richard. His thoughts were swimming now, letting whatever was in charge of him take the helm. "How so?"

"See this Canary Cream? I want you to go feed it to Upfish," he smirked.

"I can do that. But give me the frog too," Richard said. "That way after he's turned into a canary I can squish this stupid little thing in front of his fat face!"

The boy looked stunned. "That's…. that's sick! I love it. I'll give you two Galleons for that!"

And so with two fresh gold coins sitting in his pocket he returned to Upfish. Completely not himself, but strangely enjoying seeing how whatever dark inner urge was suddenly externalizing itself would handle the situation.

"Hey Upfish," he said. "I found your toad."

"You did?!" Upfish cried in excitement.

"Yeah I did. And I felt really bad about insulting you, so I brought you a cupcake," Richard said, handing Upfish the Canary Cream.

"Wow… this is the nicest thing anybody has ever done for me," Upfish said.

He proceeded to drop the cream on the floor but hastily picked it up and ate it. In a flash he was an overlarge canary with full plumage. Richard took the toad, dropped it on the ground and squished it in front of him. With Upfish beaked and sobbing, he left the cabin and returned to the Slytherins cabin.

There was a loud whistle and the train started to move. Before too long, these four students would be arriving at Hogwarts School For Witchcraft and Wizardry.

[Author's Note: Hear the Recording For This Session at: watch?v=y08ts9VWh7I]