Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi.
Warnings: Angst, dark magic, demons, character death, and some spoilers for episodes 25 to 44. There's also going to be a slight spoiler for the OVAs.
In Loneliness (Part 2 of 3)
It's been over two years since she died… I sighed in my meditation and shifted uncomfortably.
When I had woken up from my faint after the incident, I had found myself in a monastery. The monks there told me that a passing traveler had found me, but somehow that did not sound true to me. And the monastery I was in was somehow dark and devious. The statues, the murals, everything seemed to point to a god worshipped in the place of Seiryuu. It made me uncomfortable, but the reason I stayed here was because of the head of their order.
The man was a dark being named Tenkou. I don't trust him; I don't even like him, but he has been teaching me to control the dark power that killed everyone.
If I can learn to control those powers, I will never kill anyone ever again. A death won't even happen by accident because of me. But learning from Tenkou still makes me uncomfortable.
That is why I was currently sitting in meditation in my room. I was disturbed deeply by the subtle hints that Tenkou kept on saying during my lessons. It seemed as if he was hinting, almost at the level of ordering, that I use my powers for foul purposes. Another curious factor that I encountered in my lessons with him was that he could not do any of the things he was teaching me to do except for summoning demons. And even that was not the same way I did it. His was somehow…dark, just like this whole monastery.
I really didn't enjoy learning some of the spells that he's taught me, even if they do help to control my power. Besides summoning all of the different levels of demons, I now knew how to control the demons and, most importantly, how to banish them. I also could steal someone's voice, levitate, and do some other nasty magic. If I could do anything good with my magic, Tenkou never taught me how. Someday, when I finally left this shrouded monastery, I would find a place where I could master spells to bring people joy.
When I finally left… Was I a guest in this place, or a prisoner?
There was a knock on the door. "Tenkou-sama wishes to see you, Miboshi-san." The door opened to reveal one of the dark monks.
No one here calls me 'Kano.' They all call me 'Miboshi,' which means that I am one of the seven Seiryuu warriors. My symbol, 'basket,' glows on the back of my neck whenever I use my powers.
I stood to follow the monk. As usual, he led me to the highest level of the monastery and left me there with the being known as Tenkou.
He had long, silver hair, and his eyes had a cruel look to them. His face looked almost like a vampire's, but I knew that tales of vampires were just legends. His black clothing and jewelry was more suited to a king than to someone residing in a monastery. The large chair he sat on added to that picture of a king or an emperor.
"Welcome, Miboshi." A dark aura seemed to shroud this place even more than the rest of the monastery. "You have completed all of the training that I will give you." Not that you can't give it to me, but you won't give it to me. I knew that was what he meant.
"And…?" He was going to ask me for something; I knew it.
"I have a proposition for you. I am a god, Miboshi, but I long to be the complete ruler of this entire world. Join me in my quest, help me to fulfill it, and you will be more powerful than all of these puny humans!" His presence seemed to expand and magnify as he said it, making him seem great and terrible. But he was more horrible than anything else.
I kept it as a simple refusal. It is not smart to be rude to anyone who has more or darker powers than your own. "I can't. I have no wish to harm anyone."
"You do not wish to help me? Not even to avenge your lost loved one?"
"You don't know anything about that," my voice quavered as I spoke.
An evil smile appeared on his face. "I know how she was brutally murdered by the Kutou soldiers attacking your village. I know how you, in your pain, summoned a horde of demons from the underworld to destroy your entire village. And I know this because I am a god, and I was watching the events the entire time. My servants rescued you when you fell unconscious and might have died from the sudden drainage of your power by the very demons that you summoned."
I stiffened. "That is why I do not have any wish to hurt anyone."
"I see that I will not be able to convince you through any normal means, Miboshi." He raised his arms up as dark energy swirled around him. "You will regret it for all of eternity!"
Desperately, I tried to summon a shield, but the dark energy coursing from his easily broke through my barrier.
*******
It has been sixth months since Tenkou used his power on me. It's only been sixth months since I have been turned into a sadistic monster, but it feels like all of eternity.
Somehow, his magic twisted my mind so that the part thinking of how much it was twisted is the only rational part left. The rest of me wishes for all to be in pain, even myself. But the magic does not allow me to harm myself, and it causes me to constantly want to fight off death.
I am no longer in my original body. Once I was fully under Tenkou's control, he taught me how to steal another's body and destroy their soul. To learn how to do so, I had to practice. Now I am in the body of one of the youngest of the order that Tenkou is ruling.
I was also forced to push out his soul. At least he is not suffering the torment that I am.
More than anything else, the dark magic of Tenkou is slowly twisting my soul. I realize now that he is not a god, but some type of supreme demon or spirit. The way my soul is being corrupted is proof of that.
Soon I will no longer be sane. How long can I hold out?
My symbol, the one that designated me as a seishi of Seiryuu, no longer glows. The dark power has also bound that also, and I can only access my power using the prayer wheel that Tenkou gave to me as a "gift." It is more a sign of my enslavement.
The only way for me to escape all of this mental anguish and the dark spells and to heal my soul would be for me to die. However, I cannot kill myself, and Tenkou lets no one else harm me. Even changing into a new body does not help me.
And so I pass the next few months this way, until finally I have a chance to escape the dark palace. Perhaps I should have stayed. My dark urges are getting almost impossible to control.
A year later, I have fallen completely into darkness.
KILL! Kill! My mind is screaming at me as I approach a new village that is located by a lake. Smiling cruelly, I summon a demon and send it to ravage the village ahead of me.
I observe the demon uncaringly. The irony of it all is that the water demon that I have chosen today was the one that killed Hane three and a half years ago. My heart skips a beat… almost… at the thought of Hane. I haven't remembered her for sixth months, at the very least. I shrug uncaringly; it no longer matters.
The delicious screams of the helpless villagers reach my ears, and my vision shows me that the monster is magically blasting whatever it cannot reach. Soon, all too soon, the screaming stops. My monster, its hunger satiated, willingly goes back to its own world.
I walk on to the village, casually picking up some food from the trashed market stalls in the village's center. Today was their market day, I suppose. Some blood from one of the stall owners' corpses has leaked onto the fruit that I've picked up, but I just casually wash it off and eat it. It's not a problem.
A feeling of nostalgia hits me as I see a single survivor. He looks just like I did… when? I can't remember. It doesn't matter.
I walk up to him and see that he's staring down at a corpse of a girl. "Hey, kid," I say, "what village is this?"
He looks up at me with a face streaked by tears. "They're dead… they're all dead…"
"I can see that. What village is this?"
"It was called Dragon's Lake…"
The name seems familiar, but I can't place it. I don't care; the past isn't important anymore. I wondered if I should possess the kid and kick out his soul. I was getting tired of my current body.
The boy began to shudder. His shock was wearing off. He rocked back and forth… back and forth. "I was in love with her… she's dead… she's dead!" He began to sob uncontrollably.
The village… I remember it now. This is the village where I grew up… when? It doesn't matter. It had obviously been rebuilt over the many years I was gone, but I had destroyed it. Of course, I had been a fool to regret destroying it. Destruction is pleasure.
Remembering my past gave me a headache. It's bothersome to be weighted down by the past.
The kid was still sobbing, which usually annoys me enough for me to get rid of the irritation. For some reason, however, I don't feel like killing him. Instead, I simply walk out of the village, not killing him. It would've been too much trouble anyway.
Years went in and out. Twenty years… thirty years… more… I finally stopped bothering to count. Whenever I got tired of my body, or it was starting to age, I tossed it away and got a new one. It was no problem at all. After all, murders happen every day.
I knew I was Miboshi of Seiryuu's Seven, but I couldn't care less. Actually, I could, but that doesn't matter. The only reason I would serve the priestess would be to gain power.
As even more years and bodies passed, I grew more and more bored with my life. What was the point of killing all of these people and living forever? It was starting to get boring until one day when I was just walking along the road as usual. My new body was growing old; I knew that I would have to find a new one soon.
A troop of men passed by me. They were soldiers of Kutou, judging by their outfits. Almost gleefully, I summoned a demon that should've been able to slaughter them all. Instead, the blonde man leading them used a blue chi spell to annihilate it! I shrugged to myself and was going to go on without trying to kill them again, but the blonde man began to summon power for a spell that would have destroyed me where I stood.
I noticed that a blue character was glowing on his forehead. It was the character for 'heart.' "It is unwise to try to kill one of the Seiryuu Seishi if you plan to summon the beast-god," I told him indifferently as I waited for his reaction.
The man dropped the spell, but he did not look surprised at my statement. I realized that he could be even colder and emotionless than I could. "Who are you?"
"I am the demon summoner called Miboshi of the Seiryuu Shichiseishi."
Nakago smiled, but it was like a snake's uncaring smile. "Then, Miboshi of the Seiryuu Seishi, you will join us."
He was more powerful than me, and I could not refuse. I knew that my life would be quite different from now on.
~TBC~
Chibigreen's Notes: My subconscious works against me! Previously, Kano's full name had been Li Kano. I just liked the name Li, you know? Then, thanks to shadow priestess's review, I realize that "Li" was way too similar to Houjun/Chichiri's surname of "Ri," so I changed it from "Li" to "Sei" in the first chapter. But I can't change anything about the fiancée-being-dead situation. It's not the same situation for Miboshi as it was for Chichiri anyhow.
Flying heart – I'm glad that some people did like it. I was tired of not knowing about Miboshi's past, so my imagination went into overdrive to make me write this.
shadow priestess – Thanks for the comment about Kano's last name. I did mean to change that… I think.
Draconsis – Yep, I was Chibigreenwizardmon. I started to realize that that was too long to type, and Chibigreen Tanuki can easily be shortened to Chibigreen. ^___^
Melonydevil – I never really expected to be writing a fic about Miboshi's past. I tried to get the crazy idea out of my head, and in the end the only way I could was to write it down.
Sansele – Not every seishi has a poor dead fiancée. Some have a poor dead little sister, a poor dead mother, a poor dead family, or a poor dead girl-who-had-a-crush-on-them. There's variety, you see.
Did you know that I scared myself while writing the second part of this chapter? It's hard to write in first person when you're writing as a *insert words that Tasuki likes to use* evil person. Hopefully, I wrote him evil enough to explain his attitude in the series…
If you have any questions for me about the story, ask them in a review. I'll reply to them when I write the next chapter. ^___^