THIS ONE IS BY EONIC.

DISCLAIMER & STUFF

I don't own Durarara!, Celty, Shinra, anything related to any anime, etc., or Mabase. Vhestok, Lily, Mikmo, and Eonic are all technically mine though. The rodents too. Not sure just who came up with the concept of the 'Shadow Thief'...but I just wanted to say I didn't come up with it, and don't know who DID. Also, anyone who finds the FLCL references gets several cookies. This chapter is mainly just 'for teh lulz', and contributes very little to the story. Oh yeah..the owner of the silver Ford Silverado, you left your lights on.

"Pack only the essentials." Eonic said to Mikmo as they were packing stuff to take with them. Celty stood there and watched Mikmo antagonize about what to do with his pet rodents.
"Eeeeonnniiiiic!" he whined, "What do I do about Sheila and her kids? I can't hire anyone to take care of them..."
"Fine...take the wombats."
"What about Fred?"
"I suppose the ferret too."
"Daisy?"
"Dammit Mikail, we aren't running a flying zoo!"
"But I wanna make sure that my hamsters are okay while we're away!"
"Maybe you should stay behind and watch them?" Celty offered hopefully.
"Nah. I'll get a friend to look after them."
He got his phone out and sent a text before placing his hamsters on a dresser, then taking Fred the ferret, Sheila the wombat and her children, three sets of clothes, a midnight blue electric guitar, and a small arsenal to the helicopter. Eonic meanwhile, was packing much lighter. He took a briefcase full of paper, stamps, and an ultra-thin laser scanner/printer, a thin laptop, three sets of clothes, and his sword. He'd be relying on Mikmo for firearms. Also on the helicopter was a small armored vehicle called a 'LAV', and enough food and water to last a week. Like Mikmo said - it was a big helicopter.

"Now," Eonic said impatiently, "is that everything?"
"No, hold up!" Mikmo said, running back to his room and coming back with a stencil and several cans of red and black spray paint. He slapped the stencil, which was huge, onto the helicopters and quickly emptied the cans. He peeled away the stencil and a red star with the words 'Dark Ops' around it.
"Now it's done."
"Dark Ops?"
"Our mercenary service. We may pick up a few jobs along the way, you never know." Eonic explained.
"You sure you don't want a ride...eh...?" Mikmo asked Celty, unsure of her name. "Know what? I'm gonna call you Ryder!"
Eonic slapped his forehead. "Please don't..." then to Celty, "What is your name though? I completely forgot to ask. How rude of me."
"Celty Sturluson."
"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Celty."
"I like Ryder better." Mikmo said, "Can I call you Ryder? I really wanna call you Ryder."
Eonic threw him an annoyed glare, and Celty reluctantly nodded.
"See? She doesn't mind. Besides, Ryder sound really cool. Like, gangster or something."
"I need to do some research before we leave." she typed .
"We can help!" Mikmo said, throwing his arm around Eonic and pulling him in tight, "We're child geniuses."
"I am a child genius." Eonic explained, "Mikmo just sort of...drifts between psychotic and normal behavior..."
"I can foam at the mouth." Mikmo said proudly.
"That's okay...I'll do it myself."
"Suit yourself." Eonic said, opening the garage door for her.

-HOURS LATER-

As Celty rode back to Eonic and Mikmo's house, she thought about how easy it'd be to ditch them, right there and then. To abandon them and go off on her own. But she just couldn't bring herself to do it. They were just to kids looking for adventure. Granted, they were two kids looking for adventure with access to a military-grade arsenal, but they were still kids. Besides, without Shinra to help her, Eonic seemed like the best helped she'd get in knowledge of the area, or just general things. And Mikmo...well, he left something of an imprint on her with his randomness, and she couldn't bear to leave him behind. Not only that, but his apparent psychotic tendencies could prove useful in a fight.
She walked in the front door, leaving her motorcycle leaned up against the garage.
"SHE DIDN'T MEAN TOO!" Mikmo shouted.
"I DON'T CARE!" Eonic shouted back.
Mikmo was currently hanging upside down from a ceiling fan, holding a closed shoe box in his arms. He was frantically shouting in a foreign language. Russian maybe.
"IT WAS AN EMERGENCY!"
"WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!"
"THAT WAS THE CLOSEST SOMEWHERE ELSE!"
Celty figured that she should probably step in before things got violent. Which was looking pretty possible right now. As she walked towards the boys, a loud chorus of squeaks and squeals came from Mikmo's shoe box. He took the top off and made cooing noises to whatever was inside, trying to calm it.
"What's going on?" she demanded.
"Oh, nothing much." Eonic said nonchalantly.
"Sure doesn't sound like nothing."
"Really, it's just silly."
"My wombat gave birth on Eonic's bed." Mikmo said bluntly.
"And it was completely uncalled for!" Eonic responded angrily.
Mikmo stuck his tongue out at him and returned to calming the creatures. Celty looked and saw a bunch of small furry rodents in the box.
"They're cute." Celty said, trying to change the subject and stop the fight.
"Wanna hold one?" Mikmo asked. Before Celty could respond he thrust a little gray fur ball into her hands. "Meet Vincent."
If she could speak, she probably would have said, "Aaww." or something like that.
"!"
Suddenly, the wombat screeched and bit Celty's finger before jumping onto the floor and scurrying toward Eonic, who in his haste to avoid the creature, ending up stepping on it.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mikmo shouted as he knelt down beside the rodent. "Vincent...speak to me! Squeak, squeal, do something!"
"Reet..." came a weak reply. Mikmo gave Eonic an evil glare before putting Vincent back in the shoe box and bringing it upstairs.

Celty and Eonic stood in awkward silence for several minutes.
"As you can see, he's taken up wombat breeding." Eonic said, trying to break the silence.
"I see that. You put up with this every day?" she typed a reply.
"Unfortunately, yes. Several doctors have diagnosed him with early schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, A.D.H.D., and among other things, he has an official insanity certificate."
"That's interesting."
Eonic sighed, shaking his head and crossing his arms.
"YOU INJURED MY BABY!" Mikmo screeched, jumping from the top of the stairs and landing on top of Eonic.
"HE WASN'T YOUR BABY!" Eonic shouted back.
"BUT HE WAS LIKE MY GODCHILD OR SOMETHING!"
"RODENTS DON'T HAVE RELIGIONS!"
Mikmo had pulled a loaf of french bread from who know's where and began whacking Eonic on the head with it.
"I'll get Mr. Nine Iron!" Mikmo threatened him.
"Well I'll sue! SUE I TELL YOU!"
"You can't sue your own brother!"
"If he's adopted you can!"
The two stopped their struggle dead, Mikmo's eyes narrowed and he got up.
"I'M GETTING MR. NINE IRON!" he shouted, running up the stairs, oblivious to the fact that Eonic had just revealed their family's biggest secret to a complete stranger. Eonic got up and brushed himself off.
"Anyways...sometimes I end up tasing him or lighting him on fire. Living together is really just a battle for us. Literally." he said nonchalantly.
Sure enough, Mikmo came hurtling down the stairs again, this time wielding a hefty iron golf club. Eonic jumped behind Celty out of instinct, trying to use her as a meat shield...or, a whatever-dullahan-are-made-out-of shield. Celty stopped Mikmo short and grabbed the golf club, wrenching it out of his hands.
"Stop it right now. You're going to hurt someone." she typed.
"That's sort of the idea of hitting someone with a golf club." he said as-a-matter-of-factly to Celty. She just 'looked' at him for a moment and he got creeped out enough to back down. She tossed him the club.
"Go put this away now. We have work to do."
"Sure thing, Ryder!" he said, laughing a bit as he went up the stairs. "I'm still taking the wombats!"
It took Eonic a moment to realize he was still cowering behind Celty. He came out from behind her and said.
"Yes, that's the O'Connor Defensive Technique right there," he said, "top of the line S.A.S. tactic."
He cleared his throat and went to the garage as Mikmo came down the stairs. He walked up to Celty and looked her over, the adrenaline from trying to murder his brother drained out.
"You got skill." he to her, nodding in approval, "The last person to ever stop Mr. Nine Iron was the Japanese kung-fu sensei guy."
He glanced back to the garage. "Skill deserves respect. I just wanted to let you know that you have mine. Now come on, Eonic will take off without me if we don't hurry."

Celty stood there a moment. Who would have thought such a hyper, psychotic boy could understand the concept of respect? Interesting. She followed suit, and was met with the whir and wind of helicopter blades. The roof had opened up, and the helicopter was ready for take-off. Celty stepped aboard and saw Eonic and Mikmo in the pilots' seats.
"You two know how to fly a helicopter?" she asked, surprised.
"Of course!" Eonic replied, "Once you learn, it's just like riding a bike."
"Yeah, you just grab the joystick, push down both pedals, and start humming 'Ride of the Valkyries'!" Mikmo chimed.
"What can I do?"
"Oh...eh..." Eonic thought a moment. "Man the communications equipment. It's easy to use trust me."
Celty sat down in a surprisingly comfortable chair next to a few (now gold-free) LCD consoles and monitors, and watched as the two chatted in Russian a bit, then a little Japanese, to her surprise. She figured that Eonic grew up in England, despite his name or appearance. She fiddled with a few buttons on the LCD display and the view of a camera from the cargo hold came up. Her motorcycle was their, leaned up against the LAV. Eonic must have put it in while Mikmo assured her of his respect for her skills. Suddenly, a person appeared next to her, making her go into defense mode, before she saw it was just a girl.
"Who are you?" Celty typed.
The girl put a finger to her lips and snuck up behind Eonic and Mikmo's chairs. Suddenly, she wasn't there anymore. She was in between the two boys, her arms draped over both their shoulders.
"Hey guys!" she said before they noticed her out of the corner of their eyes, making them jump.
"Gyah! Blair!" Mikmo shouted angrily.
"I thought we told you to stop doing that!" Eonic scolded.
"Relax, I'm just bored, that's all. Besides, I heard you guys were going somewhere with her."
Blair motioned to Celty.
"How would you hear that?" Eonic inquired.
"Spying."
"Whoa!" Mikmo said, "Your blowing my mind, like some Chris Angel type deal!"
"Anyways, I'm coming with you." she said.
"No, you aren't! We don't have enough living space, anyways."
"Four people..." she said, "Four person living space. What could possibly be tight with that?"
Eonic fumed and returned to pre-flight checks. Blair sort of...floated...over to Celty.
"Sup? I'm Blair, shadow thief."
Personally, Celty had never even heard of a shadow thief.
"What's a shadow thief?"
"Oh...think of a ninja. Then a psychotic serial killer, Mikmo, let's say."
Mikmo turned around at the mention of his name, which he somehow heard over the rotors and through his headphones.
"Then toss in a bit of ghost, vampire, and dullahan, and you have a shadow thief!"
"Hey, girls!" Mikmo said, "I'd hate to break up your gossip session, but you might want to get strapped in. There's a heavy wind blowing."
Celty did so as the helicopter left the ground, but Blair just floated there. All Celty could think about as they went higher and higher is how strange these kids were.