Alistair hid behind a bush as he watched the Couslands clamber into their carriage. Lady Isolde had over looked his friendship with Elissa but it would have been something completely different to have the boy present as they left.
Elissa had spent most of the night with him, the two cuddled up like kittens before the first light of morning had stirred her and she had snuck back to her room, not wanting to get either of them in trouble.
He clutched his statue that she had given him to his chest as he saw her stepping up into the carriage. Before she entered though she turned around and look right in his direction, as if she knew he was there and smiled her large infectious grin before finally stepping into the dark of the carriage.
He sat there for a while, watching them grow smaller as they rode away. Burning into his mind the time they had spent together. Now she was gone though, it would be back to being alone.
His hand held the statue tighter.
It may be easier to lock those memories way.
Forgetting may not hurt as much.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Elissa sat next to her brother as their carriage bounced along, her rose held between her fingers. She was looking at the petals intently as if staring long enough would bring her more time with the person who had given it to her.
Fergus quickly noticed her intent on the flower and ruffled her hair.
"If you were staring and harder at that thing I would think it would burst into flame."
She huffed at his remark as her parents looked on smiling softly at their children.
"Dear," her mother leaned forward to daughter. "When we make our next stop I could help you preserve that rose if you would like. I know it is special to you."
Elissa nodded enthusiastically, but remained quiet as her thoughts returned to the boy she had left behind.
She would not forget their time together.
Not one moment.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Alistair's life had been slowly getting worse and worse. Lady Isolde had been laying more rules upon him. He couldn't be in the caste unless it was the kitchens and even then only at meal time. She insisted he take on more work as a way to keep him out of her sight as much as possible.
It was a lonely life, but at night when he was curled up in the hay he would hold his knight statue, and his mother's amulet would be around his neck, and he didn't feel as alone as he had before.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Elissa was never alone.
Her family, teachers, friends, and the servants in Highever meant she rarely had time by herself.
Not that she really minded. That meant she had people around whom she could talk with, show her ever developing skill with her wooden daggers to, or someone she might spin a wild tale to when she was particularly bored.
She never felt lonely.
But at nights she would return to her warm bed and look over at her dresser, where a single rose bud had been expertly encased in glass, and a small hole would creep into her heart.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Alistair had been nothing but good.
Well, as well as one would expect from a boy.
He had followed the orders given to him, had tried to be of use.
Had tried to be wanted.
But it didn't matter. They were sending him away.
Redcliff might not be much of a home, and the Arl had not been much of a family to him, but both were all he had ever known.
The news had come and he smashed his mother's amulet on the wall in a fit a rage and sadness.
The sadness of being abandoned.
When the Arl came to get him to take him away to the chantry Alistair slipped a small knight statue into his pack, storing it at the bottom.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Elissa's life was filled with love.
The love of her family, the love of her training.
Love that had grown with the addition of a new sister-in-law, shortly after accompanied by a nephew, and last but not least the Mabari she had always begged her parents for.
Summer was rarely anywhere but right next to her, her constant companion.
She had begun to grow into a beautiful young lady, or that's what her mother and father seemed to say to her often. As such along with her weapons training, she had begun the training to be a lady of the court, a woman who would be not only a good wife, but an intelligent one who could very well handle the tasks that dealing with the nobility entailed.
She was still young enough that thoughts of her marrying anyone seemed like a far off future.
For now she was content she thought as she crossed her room and touched her finger tips to the glass rose, and only thought briefly of the boy whose face had started to fade at the edges of her memory.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Alistair must be the best pot scrubber in all of Ferelden.
He had certainly been doing it enough it.
Apparently the reverend mother didn't appreciate the fact that he had fallen asleep during services this morning.
It probably hadn't helped that when he had been awoken he had screamed smoothing about goblins about to swoop down upon them.
It wasn't his fault that dream had been particularly vivid. He didn't have an appreciation for swooping.
The worst part about scrubbing the pots though was that it left one's mind to wander while it kept your hands occupied.
So more often than he would like Alistair's mind would wander to the girl who had been his friend. He had tried to not remember her, but the thought of her smiling face before she left him was easy to find when he searched his mind. It made him feel better when he was especially down.
Sometimes when the other boys would be asleep Alistair would pull the statue she had given him and just hold it. It was the only reminder he had of his life before coming her.
It was also his reminder that she was out there somewhere, and that meant that one day her might see her again.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Sir Gilmore had been staring at her.
This wasn't something new for Elissa, boys had stared before, but this time it felt a bit different. She chose to ignore it.
That didn't last very long however, as he had taken up the habit of talking to her whenever he found the opportunity. Sometimes he would create opportunities but asking her if she would accompany him around the castle gardens.
Usually she would reject the offer but tonight something made her say yes. It could be the way he looked into her eyes so intently, pleading with them for her to say yes.
So she placed her hand in to crook of his elbow and allowed him to lead her through the gardens she knew so well.
He seemed especially nervous tonight though she couldn't really understand why, he kept blushing when he would look at her for too long or would stumble over his words when he didn't mean to.
She would allow herself a small giggle before helping him along in the conversation.
Then when they had reached the back corner of the garden he had stopped both of them to turn a face her.
She hadn't really been expecting anything of the evening but was not prepared for the stuttered words that tumbled from his mouth as he told her how lovely he found her and that he knew how low he was beneath her station but that his feelings for her would not subside.
Before she could really form a coherent thought to what he was saying to her she felt his hand slide up to cup her face and the warmth of his breath mixing with hers before his lips met her own.
The kiss was soft and warm, not entirely unpleasant, but everything Elissa had read in the romance books her mother said she shouldn't be reading said the first kiss was supposed to be magical, amazing. Something that could make you see the face of the maker.
Though this kiss did warm her insides it just wasn't what she had been expecting.
It also ended quickly as Ser Gilmore pulled away blushing furiously and apologizing quickly taking his leave of her.
She touched her finger tips to her lips as she walked herself back to her room contemplating the night's events.
As she entered her room she looked over at her dresser, her eyes landing on the glass rose now covered in a fine layer of dust, and in a small place in her heart the feeling of guilt wormed its way in.
That night she dreams she is back in the gardens, but this time instead of Ser Gilmore it is a handsome blond boy in his place, and his kisses are magical.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Alistair looks at himself in the mirror and thinks about the changes he sees.
He is no longer the scrawny young boy, perpetually covered in mud and hay.
Now he is a man, broad shouldered from his Templar training, no more the softness of childhood but the sharp lines of muscle and adulthood.
There is to be a tournament for the grey wardens and he leapt at the chance to enter, to maybe get a glance at the fabled heroes of old.
He turns back to his bunk to rummage through his bag for a cleaner linen shirt to wear under his armor, when his hand comes up with a broken stone statue.
He holds it in his hand tenderly, running his callused thumb over a crack as he remembers the night years ago.
He had thought all the boys had been asleep that night as he pulled out his treasure, but he had been wrong. One of the older boys had seen him and had leapt up quickly to snatch it from his hands before Alistair could stash it out of sight.
Then the mocking had come, how he was too old to play with toys, and now only babes still had such things. Alistair had pretested reaching for the item trying to keep himself calm when the other boy had simply opened his hand and allowed it to fall to the floor.
Alistair watched heartbroken as the statue had cracked in half. The others had laughed before turning and leaving him to pick up the pieces.
A sound from behind him brought Alistair out of his thoughts as one of his bunk mates came in to tell him it was almost time. Alistair nodded his head at him before putting his old gift away, quickly thinking of the young girl who had given it to him before beginning to put it armor on.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
There had been rumors of darkspawn in the south.
Everyone was talking about it, whispers could be heard through the castle, Elissa listening intently to everyone she heard.
Her father had taken to inspecting his troops first hand, making sure they were ready if they were summoned by the king to help defend the country.
Orana and her mother were steadily getting more and more nervous about their husbands going off to fight these monsters if what was being said was true.
Elissa on the other had could not think of anything more exciting. She had been itching to prove her skill with weapons on a battle field, to show she was more than just a noble woman, but also a fierce rouge.
Her brother would chuckle when she told him how she wished the battle would come, how she would slay as many darkspawn they could throw at her.
He told her to not be so excited, that what she was wishing for could just happen, and it might not turn out exactly the way she might like.
She scoffed and hit him in the shoulder playfully.
She turned to walk away saying that she already knew that.
She was no fool.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Alistair finally found home.
Living amongst the grey wardens had been a blessing from the maker.
He was accepted for who he was here, his odd humor appreciated, his taste for cheeses tolerated, and his days were not spent feeling alone in a crowded space.
He finally felt like he belonged.
This particular morning he was up early to see his mentor, Duncan, off. Duncan was leaving to search out more recruits before the battle they all knew was coming.
Before he left Duncan reminded Alistair of the plans on where the grey wardens would be stopping, and where to pick up some supplies along the road before they were to meet up with the king's army and continue to Ostagar. He told Alistair that he would meet the rest of them there with whatever recruits he could acquire, then they would perform the joining.
Alistair nodded his understanding and said good bye to the man who had saved him, had given him hope for this new life of his.
Alistair smiled and went to eat breakfast with his new family.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
She was a fool.
She had wanted to be battle tested, and now she supposed she was.
And all it had cost was her home.
Her family.
Everything.
Just ashes now.
They were dead.
Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.
The word rolled about in her head as her feet moved her forward automatically.
She was still caked in the blood of Howe's men, and even more fresh, the blood of her father.
It was everywhere. The smell was in her nose, her mouth, cooper and salt.
Her eyes had long dried from her silent tears that had carved tracks through the grime on her face.
Summer nudged at a hand that hung limply at her side, whining softly.
She absent mindedly rand her hand over his head, giving him the most comfort she was able to muster.
She didn't notice Duncan speaking to her until he reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.
She felt so cold that his hand felt like it was made of fire.
He told her that they were far enough away that it should be safe to camp for the rest of the night. She nodded, completely numb to the notion and started to help him build a fire.
Once the fire was roaring he asked her what gear she had on her so they would know what to pick her up when they could find a merchant.
She didn't have much, when Howe's men attacked she had enough time to grab her well-worn leathers and two daggers. When she had found her mother she had suggested grabbing any health potions they she might have. She always kept a few in her room to use after training, when her muscles were especially sore.
She had gone back and filled a small pouch on her belt with the potions, but before she left she set her eyes on the glass rose that was always on her dresser. She looked at it for a long moment before grabbing it and securing it in her bag.
So as she sat by the fire with Duncan she pulled out the flower and looked at it.
She held it close to her chest, and bowed her head as more tears began to fall.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Alistair hated talking to mages, especially when he had been sent by the revered mother to talk to them!
She must know it was just going to rile them up.
But Alistair did his duty and was on his way to give said mage the message.
Ostagar was buzzing with people darting about, preparing.
He had been avoiding the royal tent as well as he could, it was awkward enough knowing Cailen knew he was here he certainly wasn't longing for a sudden brotherly run in as well.
As he was walking towards where this mage was supposed to be he heard a couple soldiers talking to each other about the scouting party that had just left. A scouting party lead by Fergus Cousland.
Alistair stopped midstride as his mind was instantly transported back to his childhood, and a small pale girl with wide green eyes and a mess of dark hair.
As soon as the thought came he brushed it aside. Just because her brother was here didn't mean that she was. No point in getting his hopes up.
Besides he doubted that she would remember him at all after so many years.
His thoughts returned to the task at hand and the message he had received early in the morning saying that Duncan should be returning that day with his new recruit in tow.
Alistair wondered briefly what this recruit would be like, hoping that they could get along together as he walked up the ramp that lead to a very grumpy looking mage.
Alistair sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
He hoped the day would get better soon.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you all for the comments I have been getting on this story.
I can't tell you all how much they mean to me and how much they keep me motivated.