Okay, it's taken over a year for me to convince myself that it would be a good idea for me to publish this story onto here. I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM THE TWILIGHT SAGA!
If you like/really like it then please PLEASE comment/ rate it - if i get enough then i'll put the second chapter up as well. I hope you do like it, it's taken me ages to write it!
Enjoy!
PS. Sorry the beginning drags a bit, but I just wanted to try an emphasise Renesmee's feelings at the time.
MEMORIES
ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER AGONISING TWENTY-FOUR HOURS ADDED TO MY never ending life. Everyday, I wake up with the same questions flowing through my head.
Why did he leave?
Where did he go?
Who is he with?
Until now.
Now I only wonder, is he okay?
Admittedly, it had been fifteen years since he left. I should have been over it by now, right? – Wrong. Over the years it had become easier to hide my true feelings from my family. However my father, Edward Cullen, could easily notice a small slip in my poker face of thoughts. Recently, it had become easier to relax and be relatively normal. However it still wasn't easy.
I didn't know that it was even possible to miss someone so much, to need someone. Had I been in a coma for the first three years of my life or something? Had he been a dream? Then snatched away from me when I woke one morning to find he was no longer here.
Losing your best friend from school is one thing. But, losing your best friend who had been there since the day you were born, who visited everyday and who promised to always be there. That is something else. He was my best friend. He was like an older brother to me. He, was my Jacob.
I was suffering from depression, I had to be, was it even possible for me to suffer from depression?
In case you're thinking that I'm being high and mighty about myself when I say 'is it even possible for me to suffer from depression' – let me stop you right there. I don't think I'm better than other people, I'm just not like other people.
I am classed as a hybrid. I'm two things. And, it's not my personality. It's more or less what I am that are two things, I'm two species in one.
Predator and prey. Life and death. Strong and weak. Fast and slow. Mortal and immortal.
Human and vampire.
Yes, that's me. I'm a half human and half vampire seventeen year old girl. Go me.
My parents, Bella and Edward Cullen, got married whilst my mother was still human and my father a vampire. She conceived me, still a human and refused to have me removed. At the time, she was most probably the definition of moron. And it's not the fact that she was eighteen years old that made her an idiot for keeping me. It was because I was quickly killing her because I needed blood to survive, I was breaking many of her bones, she was dying and yet she insisted on keeping me. I'm not saying that I wished she had killed me, but, I still have that memory in my head. The guilt burns me like acid.
She's dead now. Well, un-dead, she's a vampire, just like my father and the rest of my family. So she is technically dead.
So, my life has never been normal, and never will be. Great. Most humans say that they don't want their lives to be normal, but on the odd occasion I wish I was normal. All normal, not just half. If I had been a human child, then my growth rate wouldn't have been obscure. And if that hadn't happened then I would have gone to school and been in every grade and made friends and enemies. But because I was growing up too fast, I had to stay at home. Which after the age of three, where I physically looked about eight years old and was mentally about eleven, made my life miserable.
Which brings me back to Jacob. Being at home reminded me of him too much. I didn't exactly have a social life with friends who could take my mind of it. Jacob knew about our family's secret, so did his friends or his pack. And we knew theirs.
You see, Jacob is a shape-shifter. He and his friends can shape-shift into huge wolves. They're horse size wolves. In some sense they are quiet frightening, but they're nice in themselves.
Every day I become haunted by my memories with Jacob. As I end up spending all my time at home because I have nothing else to do, I stay in the places Jake and I used to play, laugh, have fun. The first day he didn't show, felt different, but not entirely a shock. I just thought that he was going to come by tomorrow or later that evening. It wasn't until the next day where everything turned to rubble...
My head turned away from my reading book to look over to the front door as it burst open. Seth Clearwater walked in with Quil Ateara, Embry Call and his sister Leah Clearwater. Jacob's pack. He had a worrying look on his face. Seth had always been the more relaxed, happy and carefree member of the pack. However, today, that was not the case.
"Seth!" I cheered happily at the sight of a wolf in the house.
"Hey kiddo, where's your mommy and daddy?" he asked, trying to put on a happy smile. Before I could tell him a place where they most probably weren't, my mother, Bella Cullen walked into the room with my father following her from behind.
"Bella! Hey!" he said frantically.
"Hi Seth, what's wrong?" she asked.
"Have you guys seen Jake anywhere?" he asked. I gulped – a lot louder than what I expected. We hadn't seen Jacob in two days, it was clear they hadn't either. Where had he gone?
"No, we haven't seen him since Tuesday. We kinda thought he was with you, patrolling across borders and taking your time or something." She said, crouching down next to me and holding me close to her. I could sense something was wrong.
"No, we've been here the whole time. I'm mean, Jakes our alpha, I know he doesn't like to be called it, but he's not here to tell us otherwise, so.."
"When did you last see him?" Dad asked.
"A couple a' nights ago. Well, mornings really. It was before he came here to see Ness-"
"Seth.." growled my mother. She still despised the nickname Jake had given me. Personally, I didn't mind it. And I didn't think that anyone else did, except from my mom.
"Sorry-" Seth apologised "- before he came to see Renesmee. Billy told us that when Jake got home, Sam had come to talk to him. They spoke and then they went. He has no idea where they went or what Sam wanted to talk about, Sam's disappeared. And Jake, he's gone too"...
My body jumped as it began to feel as if I had been stabbed with millions of pins and I was broken out of that horrific and vivid nightmare, again. I lay helplessly between my sweat covered mattress and my screwed up duvet. My heart pounding as if I had just seen a ghost. Of course, in my world, there are a lot scarier things than a light of a spirit.
My cheeks felt dry and stiff where a combination of tears and sweat had dried up on it. My fingers were grasping onto my t-shirt.
Almost every night, I re-lived that day in a nightmare. And every time I would wake up either on the floor crying, my teeth biting through a pillow to release my pain or like this – panting, dripping in sweat and tears and feeling more disappointed and sick than humanly possible. Imagine that, every morning, waking up in some traumatic state, for fifteen years.
There had been a lot of occasions where I was afraid of sleeping, and I tried my hardest not to sleep. Only twice had I succeeded in having sleepless nights.
When I was younger, and Jacob had recently left, my dreams seemed worse, causing my reactions to be worse. I would scream and cry in my sleep. I still cried, but quietly. My parents were worried sick. Apparently it sounded like I was being murdered. The worst part of it they found was when they couldn't wake me up. I was actually quite a deep sleeper back then. However, over the years I had taught myself to sleep lightly so that I could break out of the nightmares on my own.
Admittedly, I did have a small period of time where it wasn't bothering me too much. That was during the first time my parents attempted for me to go to school. There were a few distractions whilst I was attending school that managed to keep my mind on other things. My life wasn't too bad then, up until I got expelled. But I suppose, because I got expelled I eliminated the whole period of time I was there as 'going to school' – to me it didn't count.
As my mind left the thoughts, I noticed that the usual grey blanket covered the sky that morning, and no doubt it would for the rest of the day.
Forks, Washington – The rainiest place in western America, or probably the whole of America.
This is my home town. Well, we didn't really live in Forks. We lived just outside of Forks, in no man's land. Our house is located in the heart of a deciduous forest. I didn't live with my parents anymore. When I was seven I was asked if I wanted to live in the big house with the rest of my family, and I said yes.
My parents lived in a cosy yet constantly renewed cottage in the middle of the forest. I used to live in that cottage, but now I had my own room in my adopted grandparent's home. Here live, myself, my grandparents Carlisle and Esme, my aunts Alice and Rosalie and my annoying yet lovable uncles Jasper and Emmett.
As a child, Rosalie had always seemed like a second mother to me. Over the years, I slowly gathered Rosalie's desperation to have her own children. But being a vampire has its consequences and one of them is being frozen in time. For the men it may not make much difference. However, for the women it's not the same. Sure they may not have the drama of wrinkles and midlife crisis, but they are incapable of having children. For vampires that is set in stone, but for a hybrid vampire it remains unknown.
There has only ever been one other of me, his name is Nahuel. He shares similar abilities to me and other vampires. Except, Nahuel is venomous and I'm not. Also I possess a power, this is a power almost opposite my father's. I can project my own thoughts into the mind of others, just by touching them. When I was younger and just learning, it used to be uncontrollable, but I have taught myself to control it and only used it when necessary.
Lying in bed was quickly boring me. I guess that was another thing which made me different from other teenagers; I couldn't stay in bed until the afternoon, as soon as I was bored, I would get up.
Slowly, I pushed my damp back up from my mattress. I slid out of the bed and made my way to the bathroom to have a shower and rinse the sweat off my body.
The water was pretty cold, not ice cold, but below lukewarm. It made a difference from feeling warm and clammy. I slowly felt refreshed, like I had been standing naked in the rain or something.
Once I had dried my body, I took the hair clip out my hair, releasing my long, bronzy-brown curls.
In my room the air felt muggy. I headed for my large window that covered one of the walls. It was cut into sections; the window actually looked quite artistic. Any section of the window that opened was above the waist.
As I approached the right corner, small spots of rain were beginning to hit the glass.
Typical Forks weather, like I said.
I flicked the switch on the window and pushed it gently. The window's system was used to my light touch an immediately pushed out slightly, then letting me slide it to the left and letting in as much fresh air as needed. For the meantime, the window needed to be wide open.
Officially, the greatest feeling in the world – fresh air that has soared through the forest floods your room. The smell is great too- damp, fresh and a strong scent of wet grass.
One of the things I enjoyed doing the most here was going on long walks in the forest. It was my safe zone, my home.
I was thankful at this moment that we didn't have any neighbours; I was standing at my window in nothing by a white towel.
Reluctantly, I tore myself away from the open window and walked towards my room-like wardrobe. This wardrobe had a rule in a way: Nothing is to be worn more than once. Okay, that wasn't really a rule of the wardrobe, but it was the rule of Alice. There was even a light switch next to the door that lit the inside of the wardrobe. My parents had one very similar, except theirs is obviously bigger.
Today I didn't feel like dressing up in anything too pretty. My plan for the day was to go for a walk. There wasn't much casual wear in here, Alice wouldn't allow it. Bella had told me in the past how she used to dress as casual as you could get. Evidently, Alice didn't agree with it. So once my mom and dad were married, Alice was thrilled to know that my mother's outfit were now under her jurisdiction.
After an adventure and a half of trying to find a relatively normal outfit that wasn't something found on the catwalk. I found something that wouldn't make me look like a brunette Barbie trying to connect with nature for the first time in her nearly eighteen years of life. Flared jeans, weren't an option, they were unknown in this wardrobe. Skinny jeans were the only type of denim that I had, and denim was the only thing I could relate to casual.
As I sat at my dresser, I began to realise that washing my hair would have been a good idea whilst in the shower. My fingers kept getting caught as I gently ran them through my slightly knotty hair. By this time, I really couldn't be bothered to go back to the shower and wash my hair; drying it took roughly an hour and a bit. Out the corner of my eye, I saw a hair scrunchie lying on the desk. Due to my laziness, I decided to just tie my hair up. It wasn't as if I was really going anywhere special.
I plodded down the stairs that lead into the front room. Alice skipped in through the front door with Jasper holding a large bunch of tulips in her hand.
"Morning Alice." I called in a reasonably happy tone.
"Good morning Miss I-Can't-Be-Bothered-To-Dress-Nicely." She frowned, her voice was a mixture of annoyance and tease, I wasn't sure which one to go with.
"Oh c'mon Alice," I moaned "I'm only going out for a walk in the forest, not the catwalk." Alice shook her head in disappointment.
"Okay, I'll let you off this time. You're just like your mother." She smiled at me and lead Jasper away with her like a prisoner. It was actually quiet funny. Jasper nodded and smiled at me as we passed and I nudged him playfully in the arm.
If I didn't have the gory and vivid memory of my mother in labour with me then I would have thought that I was born out of a tree. Being in this forest made me feel at home, it was my happy place. And not only that, but these were my family's hunting grounds too.
As I walked, I would feel the odd drop of rain fall onto my head. The forest was all the same, all the trees were on the same level which meant that you could see trees for miles. The roots of trees were a little harder to see however, a lot of bushes and other greenery covered the tree roots making it easier to trip over them.
The air was quite cold and wet almost.
As I walked I swung my arms absentmindedly from side to side like a child and stared up around the trees as if it was a completely new place. At the time, I had very little concentration and was almost in a daze when a sudden call alerted me.
But it wasn't the call of a person, it was an animal, a dog, a howl, a wolf- more than one.
However, I still recognised that call – it was Seth.
I often ran into Seth, sometimes accidently, sometimes on purpose. He was the only thing I had left of Jacob. Before I lost them, I bolted into their direction.
One of the abilities that I gained from my father's vampire side, was speed. Like a lot of the things I can do now, has built up over time.
For example my skin's reaction to sunlight. Unlike the most expected, I don't burn. My skin's sparkle has become stronger. We think it's something to do with the diet of blood that I have.
If I had chosen a more human diet from a younger age then my skin would glisten very little, if at all.
But as I try as hard as I can to blend in with the rest of my vampire family, I end up hunting with them and only consume blood. Human food would probably have a bad reaction with my stomach by now.
Of course, I'm not as fast as the rest of my family, but I'm faster than the average human. I suppose a lot of the vampire abilities that I gained are weaker than my family, but still make me stronger than a human. It's the weaker side of me that makes me human-ish.
Finally, the howls got louder when I reached a clearing. It was a large circular field fenced by trees. I stopped suddenly at the edge of the border and almost fell flat on my face. The howls had stopped and the clearing was empty. Maybe it was my imagination? Darn my imagination!
I watched carefully around the clearing, suddenly, there was movement just on the other side. As I took a step forward and squinted my eyes, I could see something immerge from the trees, it was a wolf.
Seth.
His dark sandy fur was something that I hadn't seen in ages and something I missed.
I gently waved to him and he just stared at me. It was times like now when I wished I had my father's ability to read minds, or had him with me.
Before I could call to him, Seth began to back into the trees.
"Seth!" I called, but he didn't immerge again. I started to move forward and eventually I made my way into a jogged and then into a sprint across the clearing.
"Seth!" I called again as I neared the place where he had stood. Just when I was about to call his name again, he appeared from the trees, except this time in human form.
I ended up throwing myself into his hard chest. Once I realised that I was against him, I wrapped my arms around his back and hugged him tightly.
"You didn't think I was just gonna take off, did you?" he laughed.
I smiled lightly at him before stepping away. I looked up at him and he smiled at me, I smiled back.
"Geez, I haven't seen you in ages. How are you?" he asked me. I shrugged and slid my hands into my pockets.
"I've been better, but I've been worse," I admitted "what about you?"
"I'm good." He answered.
There was a moment of silence, but the silence wasn't quite awkward. I hadn't seen Seth in so long that I couldn't think of what to say to him.
"So how's it going at the Cullen clan?" he asked "Mom and Dad okay?" I nodded.
"Yeah, things are going good. My parents recently got the cottage redecorated and Carlisle moved to a different hospital."
"Really? How come?" he asked, surprised.
"Well, y'know, the usual. He's beginning to look a lot younger than he's meant to. So, he thought it was time to move on. This time I think he's gonna claim that he's twenty four or something should keep him there for quite a few years." I told him. "But, I dunno how much longer he's gonna keep this stuff up for. Eventually, there aren't gonna be anymore hospitals for him to go to. Meaning that, we have to move."
My voice became quiet and thoughtful before Seth spoke again.
"Naaa, I bet you've got a good decade or so ahead of you before you've gotta go," he assured me "besides, even if you do have to go you don't need to be off right away. Come hang down at La Push for a couple of weeks, I'm sure mom won't mind keeping you for a bit. Or if not, there's always Billy. He gets pretty lonely from time to time, what with Rebecca still away, Rachel living with Paul and Jake-" he stopped.
I didn't push him to continue, in fact, I immediately tried my hardest to move on.
"But, what about you? How's your mom and Leah and everyone over in La Push?" I asked with a bit more enthusiasm than required.
"Yeah, we're all good. Sam actually appeared a couple of weeks ago." He said. I looked at him quite amazed. Sam had disappeared at the same time that Jacob had.
"Oh, great." I said quite happily "do you know if Jake was with him? Or if he knows anything about him?" I asked hopefully. Seth's small grin faded and he sighed, almost sympathetically.
"Renesmee, look. Sam came back, which is great. But he didn't mention anything about Jake. And truth be told, if Jake was gonna come back, then he would be back by now." He said.
So that was it. Now I was just meant to give up hope and move on.
"So, that's it?" I said, my voice starting to tremble slightly. "I just have to move on now?"
I could tell that Seth regretted his words straight away. Never had Seth tried to upset me, never had he hurt me and that was one of the reasons why I loved him.
I loved him like a best friend or like a brother, not like that before anyone gets any ideas.
"No, no c'mon Renesmee, please don't cry on me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound so harsh. You know I didn't-" I interrupted him.
"I know you didn't mean for it to come out like that, you're just trying to be a good friend. Sorta."
Seth knew that my presence was sometimes really difficult. With me, he had to choose his words very carefully. Usually he avoided the topic of 'Jacob' like it was a plague and he would briefly participate in the conversation if I ever brought him up. Again, something I was grateful for. My family were the same, well, except from my parents. On the odd occasion they would bring him up if I was going through one of my 'phases'.
Now, I know that maybe I'm over reacting about Jacob's absence. And all I can say to that is: I can't help it. Sometimes in the darker 'phases' I have I would be almost rolling my eyes at myself. Unfortunately I can't actually bring myself to roll them physically.
But at times, I do think about how it's affecting me with great thought. Admittedly, if when I was three my parents disappeared instead of Jacob, I would be very upset and probably feel unloved and unwanted, as would any child. And that's where I compare how I would react to that with how I react to this. It's so, so strange. From the very pit of my heart, I feel that my reaction to my parents' disappearance would be the exact same.
Should I be concerned about that?
Probably.
I mean, my parents went through so much, especially my mother. I practically killed her and she sacrificed herself for me. My dad went through hell during the pregnancy. Whereas Jacob, well, I suppose he didn't really go through any of that. Sure, he has been there from day one and stuff, but still.
And that's when I usually got confused. How could someone who has had so little to do with my creation, someone who isn't really family have such an effect on me?
At the end of the day he was my best friend, but that still didn't feel like an excuse.
"Listen, I had better go. I told mom that I would only be gone an hour." Said Seth.
"You have a curfew? Kinda early don' you think?" I asked, running my hand through my falling hair.
"No," he chuckled "moms' finally cleaning out the attic and she wants my help. I don't understand why she can't wait til' next weekend and ask Charlie to help." He moaned. I playfully punched him in the arm.
"C'mon, there's nothing wrong with a little mother-son bonding time-" I began.
"Oh, just like there's nothing wrong with a little father-daughter bonding time?" he smirked. Recently I hadn't been spending much time with my parents, I'd like to say that my parents won't spend any time with me. But then I'd be lying. Emmett informed me a couple of days ago that he thought I was morphing into another 'phase', that's why I had been a bit distant lately.
Maybe I should explain what these 'phases' are. I used to get them quite often when I was younger but I still get them from time to time. Basically, from now and again I will feel depressed and want to be alone. I practically isolate myself from not only my family but the world around me. It makes me feel more comfortable if I drown in my own misery than make others suffer it too. But sometimes, just out of nowhere I'll slip into these phases. They could last only a few hours, or it could last weeks and maybe months. I suppose that seeing as I have nothing much to do with my life now, I can't help but fall into a phase. And of course, it's all because of Jacob. Sometimes I think "if only he knew what he was putting me through". Not that it matters now, Seth was right. I should suck it up and move on, I mean it has been fifteen years.
"You know I can't help it Seth, it's weird. I'm weird. I don't want to have to keep suffering like this, I shouldn't have to. I should be hanging out with friends and have a boyfriend and going out partying every Friday night, that's what eighteen year olds do!" I moaned.
"Hey, you're still seventeen. You're not quite there yet kiddo." He reminded me. I rolled my eyes and let out a long sigh whilst staring behind him at the trees.
"So? Does a couple of days before my birthday really matter?" I said, slumping my shoulders in a child-like way. Seth grinned.
"Sorta, and speaking of birthdays, what is it that you want for yours?" he asked. Birthdays had become less and less interesting as the years had gone by. Sure, I appreciated all my gifts but I never had the full satisfaction with the day itself. For a long few seconds, I stared at Seth and at the air that surrounded his thick black hair.
Before I could reply, I moved forward and threw my arms around him. As I nuzzled my face into his chest, I felt the tears as they leaked from my eyes. Within a second, his arms were wrapped around me.
"I want my life to be happy. I don't want to feel this way anymore and I just- I just want him ba-ack." I began to choke on my tears and Seth raised his hand to stroke my hair.
"It's okay," he hushed me "c'mon Ness-" and immediately his body stiffened. This was a perfect example of Seth not being careful with what he says. Since Jacob, no one dared to call me 'Ness' or 'Nessie'. Not because I didn't like the name, but because that was my name from him.
Seth pulled me out of his chest and gripped my shoulders.
"Renesmee I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean it, I wasn't thinking-"
"Shh," I ordered him "It's okay." Of course I was lying, it wasn't okay.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"Yeah, now go on. You should get going, you've got to clean out the attic, remember?" I was trying to smile through the tears, but it was making my eyes sting. Seth released me and rubbed his hands over his face in frustration. Before he could slap himself round his face, I grabbed his hands.
"Seth, look it doesn't matter. Just go home and tell your mom I said hi." I ordered him. There were a few seconds of silence before he gave up and pulled me into him again.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly "feel free to punch me in the face."
I lifted my hand and slowly punched him in the face, effortlessly.
"There. Now you can stop killing yourself over it." I insisted.
"Okay, I'll see you around Renesmee. Be good." He patted my arm twice and turned to run away from me.
"You too." I said quietly, even though I knew he could still hear me. When I knew he was too far away to hear me, my restraint on holding back my tears loosened and they fell in buckets from my eyes.
Poor Seth, I knew he didn't mean it. I just wished that I wasn't such a pain in the butt over everything. He wasn't the only one who felt awkward around me; my whole family felt the same. Sometimes even I felt awkward in my own presence. There had been times in the past where I had absent-mindedly upset myself through just reminiscing.
For the Christmas of the December when Jacob left, I had made him a little scrap book during the small amounts of time he wasn't there. But he didn't make it to Christmas, so I kept the book, using it for my own reasons.
As rain clouds grew darker overhead, I turned back and slowly walked back to my house. This forest always put a smile on my face, especially when it rained. The refreshing scent that softly skimmed the air and the rustling of leaves and twigs beneath my feet were like a sweet lullaby. Birds still sang loud below the storm clouds and above the forest floor where a two legged predator walked with her hands firmly in her pockets and her mind away engrossed in thought.
I changed my direction; instead of going to my second home I decided to go to my first, which was my parents' cottage. As a child I had lived there, but as I grew up I began to feel as if I was living too close to my parents. Closer than what I should, so I was offered a bedroom in the main house.
The cosy cottage wasn't far from where I had changed my direction and soon enough I could see smoke softly lurk near the tops of trees. By now, my father would've known I was coming, he would be able to hear my thoughts becoming louder the closer I got.
I gently opened the front door of the small cottage. Even though I once lived here and this was my parent's home, I still felt slightly awkward about just walking in.
"Mom?" I called as I closed the door behind me. Instantly, my mother, Bella was stood in front of me.
"Renesmee, what are you doing here?" she asked, staring at me wide-eyed. I laughed quietly as I walked towards her.
"I'm your daughter; I am allowed in here, aren't I?" I asked. "I wasn't interrupting anything was I?"
Bella laughed and almost mirrored my stance with her hands in her pockets.
"No, of course you're allowed here. It's just, you don't usually come here." She explained. I suppose I should hate how alike my mom and I were, but I didn't, I actually liked it. We understood each other. Sometimes I thought that maybe she knew more about me than Edward did, and he could read my thoughts.
"I know, and I'm sorry." I said, lowering my head to look at my feet.
"Why are you apologising? You have nothing to be sorry for." She insisted. I knew that, but I still felt I needed to apologise for the way I frequently behaved.
"Yes I do, mom. Look at the way I was last week, I barely spoke to you and dad, or anyone." I could feel myself wanted to get angry and walk away. Before I could, Bella came towards me and held my face.
"Hey, listen to me, everything that has upset you and the way you behave is not your fault Renesmee, remember that." She insisted and kissed my head "I don't care how you behave because I know my little girl is in there and she is crying her heart out behind the anger and tantrums." I smiled softly at her and the lump in my throat formed.
"Thanks mom, and I wanna say sorry for, y'know, future references." I said as she took her hands from my face.
"Renesmee, to what do we owe this honour?" Edward asked as he joined Bella from behind.
"I think she might be ill, she never comes and visits us." Bella joked. I laughed quietly and rolled my eyes,
"Oh please, no, stop before the guilt crushes me." I said sarcastically "I'm just coming to see my parents, is that so strange? – well, as long as we exclude last week and various other weeks of my life."
"You know you're always welcome here." Edward said.
I went forward and hugged Edward, knowing that he was expecting a greeting at some point. Generally it wasn't until I hugged my parents where I realised how different our body temperatures were. However, the icy embraces were something I had grown used to. As I stepped away from my dad I walked forward to the living room.
The fire was burning brightly inside the stone fireplace and one big, cushiony couch sitting in front of it.
"I just saw Seth." I told them as I leaned against the back of the couch.
"Yes, I heard," Edward smirked. Bella rolled her eyes and looked at him.
"Well I didn't," she snapped and then turned back to me "how is he?"
"Oh he's fine, same old same old. But he did say something that particularly caught my attention," I said as I pushed myself up to sit on the back of the couch. Bella still stared at me in wonder and Edward looked almost sympathetic. Of course he knew what the interesting thing was.
"What did he say?" asked Bella.
"Apparently, Sam came back a couple of weeks ago." I said with a small hopeful smile on my face.
I think I was still on my own, Bella, Edward and Seth had had equal reactions to my reaction. I suddenly have hope that Jacob will jump out from behind a bush now after all these years. And everyone else seems to have completely different views.
"Er, Renesmee. Look, I can understand why you're thinking what you are. But-" Bella started, but Edward could tell it was hard for her too so he stepped in.
"But as great and surprising it is that Sam has returned, we think it would better if you didn't hold your breath for Jacob. Just because Sam came back doesn't mean that Jacob will. We have no proof that Jacob left with Sam-"
"Of course we have proof," I snapped "they both disappeared on the same night and have been gone ever since; there's no way that can just be a coincidence."
"Renesmee we know that the past fifteen years have been difficult for you, it's been difficult for all of us," said Bella as she gracefully strode towards me "but you need to move on. Look at it this way, what if Jacob never comes back? Are you just going to live your life like this, in hope?" she asked, standing right in front of me.
I stared at her in silence for a couple of seconds and then jumped off the couch.
"So you two think that I should just erase him from my mind too?" I demanded.
"We don't- wait, too? Who else thought it?"
"Seth did." I mumbled. The three of us stood in silence for about a minute or so. Then Bella turned to Edward,
"Edward, do you think we should tell her, about Jacob?" she said quietly, but not so quiet that I couldn't hear it.
"What about Jacob? What's happened?" I interrupted. Both of them ignore me and started their own conversation.
"No, I don't think it will be necessary." He said walking towards us.
"But she has the right to know."
"Yes, but she may not need to know, in fact I think it will be better for her if she doesn't. It's been difficult enough for her already; this would just make things, complicated."
"But Edward-"
"Yes, love, I know why you want to tell her but I'm afraid that by opening one door you're closing many others. Remember, by doing what we've done, we're trying to help her move on." He insisted.
I watched them both and listened as my mind tried to figure out what this conversation was actually about.
"What have you done?" I asked, not expecting an answer. However, it turned out that to them I had returned in the room.
"I suppose, we're kinda glad that you stopped by Renesmee," said Bella "there's something that we need to tell you and it's going to change quite a lot of things for you."
Her words were starting to scare me.
"Are we moving?" I asked, and in my mind I was crossing my fingers that we weren't.
"No," Edward chuckled "We're not moving. We've enrolled you actually, to attend the senior year of Forks High School."
I couldn't really gather what he had just told me. Their 'Jacob Rehab' for me, was going to be sending me to school.
"W-what?" I stuttered.
"It's not because we doubt your intelligence Renesmee, or anything like that as you know. We're doing it more or less for you to start socialising again, make friends." Said Bella. I couldn't help but feel physically sick, they were sending me to school to socialise. Wasn't socialising one of the few things people were expelled for? – I suppose my excuse wasn't exactly 'socialising'.
I had been to school once before and was expelled about a semester in. I shouldn't have been expelled seeing as the teacher accused me of using inappropriate behaviour on school site. I was the victim in that battle, the teachers just couldn't be bothered to question us thoroughly, so they kicked us out instead. I usually excluded that from my life story, it wasn't something that I was particularly proud of, or something that has had a large effect on my life. This would still be new to me though. Last time I was a sophomore, this time I would be senior, meaning more work and more responsibility. Oh the joys of being Renesmee Cullen.