He should have known. Peter had been suspicious of the specific set of Earth items on sale, and in hindsight it was all too obvious. A bunch of figurines, one of them was even a Smurf, an orange music player, Milano cookies. The Earth goods were bait set by Yondu. The Centaurian had always done things in a roundabout way, but Peter couldn't understand why he didn't just put tracking devices in their Ravager clothes like a normal person.
Yondu and Kraglin had dragged the trio to an abandoned warehouse. They had been cuffed and were hovering mid-air via a weaker version of the Nova Corps capture technology. Kraglin left the room with a nod. Gamora gave Peter a look that suggested she was going to try something, but he quickly shook his head. He got them into this mess, and he would get them out of it. The fact that Yondu was alone was a good sign. If the blue man was going to kill them, he would make a spectacle of it.
"So Torture Smurf, What are you gonna do to us?" Peter had often called him a Smurf when he was growing up.
Yondu whistled and the arrow stopped mere centimeters from Peter's nose. "I said I'd kill ya for not givin' me that stone. But I'm not sure I feel like it. As for miss greenie, I'm selling her to the highest bidder. You best not try anything missy. You're worth more intact but I won't hesitate to ruin that pretty face a' yours." Another whistle and the arrow was in front of Gamora.
"Thanos will kill her." The Terran pleaded with his eyes.
"I don't care who buys her. It's just business, and what the customer does with the product ain't any of mine. You know that." The Ravager's red eyes turned to the raccoon. "Your pet looks mighty tasty."
Rocket growled. "I ain't nobody's pet." Peter decided it was best to not bring up the raccoon's use of double-negatives.
"I think I'll skin him first, he'd make a nice hat." Yondu whistled again to move the arrow to Rocket.
Rocket struggled against the restraining field. "Get that away from me you crazy backwater poucher." Peter and Gamora gasped. Centaurians had pouches like kangaroos, and poucher was a very derogatory term. Peter had only ever heard a few people call Yondu that, and it never ended well.
Yondu frowned, then whistled. The Yaka arrow quickly dove towards Rocket's left foot, and the mammal screamed. Peter couldn't watch. When he opened his eyes, the raccoon's little foot was covered in blood. "You need to learn respect." The blue man was pummeling Rocket with punches. "Gotta tenderize my meat first."
"Leave him alone! It's me you want. They have nothing to do with this." If only Peter could direct all the burden to himself. This was his fault, and his friends were getting punished for it.
"Nothing to do with it? Sure, you stole the stone and switched containers on me but they helped you stop Ronan. You got them involved. I even made 'em honorary Ravagers." Yondu said that like it was a high honor.
As the Centaurian swung his fist at Rocket's face, the raccoon bit hard. The bite ripped right through the gloves and into the skin. "D'ast. You're gonna pay for that, little fella." Yondu's communicator started making noise. "I gotta take this." He said it casually, as if he was stepping out of a meeting, and promptly left the room.
"Quill, on a scale of Groot to Thanos, how much of a dick is Yondu?" The raccoon made it sound like a perfectly normal question.
"Somewhere in the middle, a few levels above you, I guess." Peter was glad Rocket was still speaking to him.
"He's gonna eat me." What crossed the mammal's face was less a look of horror, but more an expression of defeat.
"Relax Rocket, the Ravagers have been threatening to eat me for 26 years, they'd never really do it."
"Easy for you to say Star-Bastard, you don't look like a d'ast delicacy! Drax has eaten whatever I am before and I'm apparently delicious."
"Rocket, panicking isn't going to help, we need a plan. Yondu is hesitant to hurt me, we should use that to our advantage. I can try dislocating my wrist." The green woman seemed unflappable sometimes.
"No, bad idea. I can usually tell when he's being serious. I honestly don't think he's gonna eat Rocket, but he's completely serious about selling you, or mutilating you if you try anything. I just need to appeal to his better nature, I have some bargaining chips left." Peter pleaded with his eyes at Gamora.
"I don't think he has a better nature. Anyway, why haven't you gone back to Terra? It better be a good reason since you threatened to take me back to Halfworld."
"Is now really a good time to be talking about this?" She had a good point.
"There might not be a later for me to ask." The raccoon also had a good point.
"I just realized, we're like a screwed up version of an Earth legend. The Wizard of Oz. A girl named Dorothy gets abducted from Earth by a storm and taken to a magical land with strange creatures. Dorothy just wants to go home, not knowing she had the power to go home the whole time. But that's where we're different. In the end, she wakes up and it was all just a dream. I don't want to wake up. Sure, I loved Earth, but I don't want the awesomeness of the universe to go away. To end up pretending that none of this was real, having to grow up and live a normal life on one of the most boring planets in the universe."
"Peter…" Gamora looked concerned.
Yondu walked back into the room and behind the raccoon.
The furry cyborg squirmed. "W-what are you doing back there?"
Yondu yanked Rocket's tail so hard that the raccoon was pulled out of the restraining field, crashing onto the floor with a thud and a yelp.
"Yondu, stop! Hey, let's make a deal." Peter wasn't sure this would work, since he was sure the Centaurian was behind the Earth items being for sale in the first place, but it was worth a try. "I just bought a bunch of Earth stuff, and there's lots of those cute figurines you like. Let us free, and they're yours."
"I thought I taught you better than that, boy. You're in no position to bargain." Yondu walked to the corner of the room where he had tossed his captives' belongings. He rummaged through the bag of Earth stuff and pulled out all the figurines, stuffing them in his own bag.
The blue man approached Peter and began punching him, but it didn't hurt as much as expected. It still hurt a ton, but Yondu was holding back. "Learn your lesson yet, boy?"
"If you kill, sell, eat, or do anything else bad to any of my friends, it's war and I will kill you." The human glared at the closest thing he had to a father. He was bluffing, of course, but hopefully it would be enough.
Yondu stepped back and frowned, his red eyes glaring back. Kraglin re-entered the room and swiftly approached his captain. "Boss." Then Kraglin proceeded to whisper something in the Centaurian's ear.
"You're lucky, son. I got more important matters to attend to. Now git outta here before I change my mind." His second undid the Guardians' restraints, and the Ravagers left.
Gamora bent down near Rocket, her arms moving around to pick him up.
"I can walk."
"Like hell you can. Haven't you noticed the HOLE IN YOUR FOOT?" Peter knew Rocket was stubborn but this took the cake.
"Just because you are physically capable of doing something doesn't mean you should do so." Gamora looked at him sternly.
"Yeah, like walking, flirting with Gamora, blowing up moons…" The terran counted on his fingers as he went down the list.
"Alright, alright, I get it." The small cyborg huffed, letting the green woman pick him up.
"Just a suggestion, Rocket, he wouldn't have hurt you so bad if you hadn't called him that. Anyway, just so we're clear: even if we end up having to go on a mission to…that place, I won't make you go. Either I can drop you off somewhere else or you can stay on the ship. Are we okay?" Peter made puppy-dog eyes at him.
"…For now." The raccoon didn't sound all that convincing, but it was progress.
Once back on the Milano, Drax and Groot greeted them. "Who has done this? I shall rip out their spine."
"I am Groot!" The tree's face went from giddy to horrified upon seeing Rocket in Gamora's arms. He followed the green woman as she took the raccoon to the medbay.
"Don't worry about it. What have you guys been up to?"
"I have been attempting to instruct Groot how to write in my language, but all he inscribed was 'I am Groot.' He was more successful at drawing, but he insists that this shape is a heart." Drax showed him a tablet displaying Groot's artwork. It was crude, but unmistakably the five of them holding hands, surrounded by a stylized heart.
"It is a heart."
"No, hearts typically look like this. I should know, I have ripped many out of people's bodies." Drax held up another tablet that showed a well-drawn, incredibly detailed sketch of an anatomically correct heart.
Peter shook his head and entered the common area. He opened his bag of Earthly delights and took a closer look at them. They were comfortable, familiar. Then Peter realized why Yondu would capture them in such a backwards way, to give him more things from Earth. He gleefully began affixing the disco ball to the ceiling as Gamora entered the room eating a blue kruna fruit.
She looked bewildered at the disco ball. "Tell me more about Dorothy and Oz."
"The rest of you guys are actually a lot like Dorothy's friends. The Wicked Witch has your skin tone, but you're more like one of Dorothy's companions, the Tin Man. He's made of metal and wasn't built with a heart, so he thinks he's cold and unfeeling but he is actually the one in the group that cares the most." Peter was a bit scared that she would take offense, but her lips curled into a small smile.
He continued. "Drax is like the Scarecrow, who doesn't have a brain, but is way smarter than he seems. Groot is like Toto, he's kind and protective, and most of the others can't understand what he says. Rocket is the opposite of someone. A talking lion. Lions are imposing Earth animals, the king of beasts. They're a lot like Ligrans but on all fours. Anyway this one is the Cowardly Lion and he's afraid of everything but he's incredibly brave when it counts. But Rocket is small and acts brave, but deep down he's actually scared. Don't tell him I said that." The raccoon had been the most afraid of Ronan, and tended to be the one to most often point out their mortality.
Gamora's eyes were wide. She always seemed to enjoy it when Peter told her about Earth stories. "That is fascinating, but I meant more pertaining to your worries about returning to Terra. I would hate to see you avoid your world because of an unfounded fear. If I still had a home…"
"It isn't my home anymore, not really. But now I'm thinking maybe visiting once-and-a-while wouldn't be so bad. So you don't think I'm crazy?" He gave her the trademark Star-Lord smirk.
She laughed. "You most certainly are insane, just not to that extreme." Well, no sane person would challenge Ronan to a dance-off, so she was probably right. Peter began to walk out of the room. "Where are you going? You require rest."
"I'm buying some things, we didn't get the chance to buy anything other than that Earth stuff. We still need supplies, especially medicine. Plus, I kinda need to make it up to Rocket."
"That is the most responsible excuse for you being irresponsible that I've ever heard. Allow me to join you, I know what he likes."
When they returned from their shopping, Peter snuck into the medbay with a sack of goodies over his shoulder. He felt like Santa Claus. Only it wasn't Christmas, the presents were weapon parts instead of toys, and all of them except Groot were definitely on the naughty list. Groot waved and the human smiled but shushed him. Rocket was sleeping peacefully for once. Peter piled the presents together while trying his hardest to not make any noise. The tree and Gamora silently laughed at his efforts. The final touch was a child-sized pair of crutches, set against the bedside table. Peter and the green woman went to the cockpit.
"Did you really need to do all that stealing?" Her expression was less judging that her words.
"What can I say? Old habits die hard. I paid for most of it." Peter held his new music player and smiled.
"What is that device?" Gamora sounded afraid to ask.
"Something awesome." He grinned ear-to-ear.