Alright, episode two is up! I apologise for how long it took, but I've been very busy recently. Remember, the competition deadline is Episode Three!
Warning: Very slight WishfulShipping refrences. You have been warned.
Cilan straightened his tie as he strolled into the Zebstrika Channel's filming area. His brother, Chilli, who also happened to be the director, placed a hand on the green-haired man's shoulder.
"Cilan," he whispered, "you know who the special guest is, right?" Cilan's emerald green eyes were suddenly turned on Chili.
"No, I don't." Cilan spoke finally, before making a wild guess. "It's Iris, isn't it?"
Chili nodded. "We know she's your wife and all, but we don't want you to kill another guest! The insurance is already through the roof…" he tried to explain, but Cilan was already preparing on-stage.
Five minutes later…
Flocks of people and Pokemon alike flocked into the seats, fighting for good spots to watch. Their excited faces told everyone who saw them that it's Lights, Camera, Action for the brand-new episode of…
It's Cilan Time!
As the audience's cheering died down, the camera revealed Cilan, comfortable in his newly designed soft chair. "Greetings, Unova!" he yelled to the audience, who replied with a deafening yell of excitement. "This episode our special guest is a wild addition to the show." He spoke.
"Welcome to the stage, Iris!"
As if she was waiting for her cue, Iris immediately bounced on to the stage. "Hi Unova!" she laughed excitedly before settling in her chair.
"So Iris, what have you been up to?" Cilan decided to ask, even though he knew the answer already. Her response came in three sections.
"Well I was Champion of Unova for a week…" she counted on her fingers. After a moment's thought, she continued, "I became a full-time Dragon-type elite four…" After another moment's thought, she finished with, "And I married you!" A wave of mixed reactions flooded out of the audience as Cilan buried his face in his hands.
"I thought that was secret, Iris…" the host moaned, as Iris's face became full of confusion. "Oh forget it. Roll the tape…"
It's Journey Time! Part Two.
Cilan made his way through the tall grass, until suddenly, a random text box appeared, reading 'A wild Iris appeared!' Suddenly he was thrown into a battle with a strange girl, who threw out a Chespin.
"Battle meeeeee!"
Cilan scratched his head with confusion, before his vision became a lot less pixelly. "Iris, that's not how Trainers find battles!" he growled through clenched teeth, mentally facepalming.
"Too late!" Iris yelled, as Cilan's Magikarp was pulled out by a mysterious force, another random box appearing. It read, 'What will MAGIKARP do? Fight, Item, POKe, Run'. Cilan tapped the fight button, and the box changed.
'Which attack? Splash, Tackle'. Cilan, having no knowledge of Magikarp at all, tapped Splash, and watched his Pokemon as the box changed once more.
'FOE's Chespin used Vine Whip!' The box read as Cilan's Magikarp was hit. "No! Magikarp!" he yelled, but it was too late, the move was over.
'It was super effective!' It was then when Cilan noticed strange health bars. Magikarp's read 'LV 5: 10/20', while Chespin's read 'LV 6: 24/24'.
'MAGIKARP used Splash!' Cilan tried to have his fingers crossed, but Iris' laugh put him off.
'But it does nothing…' The host almost died with anger, but the text box changed to something that looked hacked.
'MAGIKARP's stupidity killed it!' Magikarp was recalled into the Poke Ball as Cilan blacked out randomly.
What happens next? Find out... Next time!
The camera returned to Cilan attempting to strangle Iris. "I don't care about your pet 'snake' thing!" the host was yelling.
"Yes, you do, Cilan!" The wild-child replied, equally as loud as Cilan's statement. The green-haired man was about to retaliate, but as he realized he was back on camera, he straightened his bow-tie and twirled in a bunch of pink sparkled. "Iris, what's next?" he winked to her.
"It's Torture Time!" Iris exclaimed happily.
Before Cilan was allowed time to protest, he was shoved into another box. "What is it no-" he was cut off as a bunch of Purrloin food was dumped all over Cilan. The man was forced to sit in the box as at least half a million Purrloins were shoved into Cilan's box. There were so many Purrloin that it was hard to even breathe. Imagine having a fear of the things.
In a split second, Cilan began to yell madly. He'd have loved to shove the big red release button, but as he had used it last time, it was removed. So he had to sit there for half an hour. The timer began…
1-10 minutes in…
Cilan began to try swimming through the Purrloin, which was impossible, due to the fact that Purrloin food is always super sticky. He began to sweat madly as flashbacks began to fill his mind. His brain thought he was dying…
11-20 minutes in…
Cilan began to go slowly crazy. His mind told him to kill all Purrloin, which caused him to try to eat the Purrloin. It wasn't successful, in fact, it made the situation worse. Cilan began to be scratched by half a million Purrloin. Now they were all angry.
21-30 minutes in…
The Purrloin had decided to block half of the air holes, making breathing even harder. Cilan's head began to feel light, and the Purrloin still scratching him (they'd torn his shirt to bits) didn't help. Just 29 minutes in, Cilan passed out. He was left there for a minute.
The box Cilan had been held in was finally cracked open, causing a flood of Purrloin to fill the stage. Suddenly, the audience was filled by the Anti-Purrloin Police, who killed all of the Purrloin in their 'Rainbow Centre' mere minutes afterwards.
As Cilan began to come round, he lifted a finger slowly. Iris knew he wouldn't be able to introduce the new section so she began to speak. "So it's a new section of the show now! Get ready for…"
It's Gaming Time! Part One: Hyrule Warriors (Wii U)
"So this is Hyrule Warriors…" Cilan muttered to himself, before being interrupted by Iris.
"Put the game on already!" she yelled, clutching the Wii Remote. Cilan turned the game on, and used the Game Pad to select Legend Mode and somehow use Multiplayer to start Part One.
"Yes! I'm the girl with the massive sword!" Iris yelled, pointing at Impa.
"Yeah! I'm the guy in tights!" Cilan yelled, pointing at Link. Cilan then began to kill a bunch of enemies, and before he knew it, he'd ranked up a total of 1,000 KOs before Iris had even managed to stop fangirling over Impa.
"Oh, so THAT's how you move…" Iris spoke, as they entered the second-to-last battle. Cilan was playing as Sheik by now, and was something like Level 32. Cilan began to randomly rage at the screen, now angrily pushing the buttons with his face. Iris stared at him, before hacking the game and giving Sheik a pink tutu.
Cilan, while pressing buttons with his face, accidentally turned the game off.
"Hey Cilan! Did you save?" Iris asked. The host looked at her with bewildered eyes.
"What's saving?"
Want to see another gameplay session? Tune in next time!
By now, Cilan was sitting up, rubbing his head. "Iris, what happened?" The wild-child had dragged him over to the soft chair.
"Well… you were mauled by half a million Purrloin, you passed out from deprivation of air, and I became a doctor!" Iris beamed.
Cilan looked at Iris strangely at that last statement, but decided to shrug it off and end the episode.
"Well… that was all. Look forwards to a new episode soon!"
Iris decided to join in on the fun.
"See you later on…
IT'S CILAN TIME!"
After the show…
Cilan knocked Iris against a wall. "I will kill you…" he growled, but Iris knocked him away. "Nope. Touch me again near that Dead Guest pile and you're in jail!" Cilan sighed and put some makeup on before running home. No marriage argument had ever gotten THAT severe.
Meanwhile, Iris decided to mess around with Cilan's wardrobe…
There it is, I hope you liked it. And Iris may or may not return in a future episode. But you may or may not recognise her...