Blondes Do It Better
Chapter 2: Time Well Spent
Hey everyone. Yea, I'm bringing you the second chapter of BDIB! I hope you're excited. :D REVIEW!
Disclaimer: Don't own South Park, or anything related to that. But I own this idea.
As Stan marched towards the group, he sat his tray upon the table, before sliding into a spot beside Kyle.
"Ok, what is it, Cartman?" He asked, before taking a bite of his sandwich.
"Yea, what's so amazing that we all had to gather here for?" Kyle added in irritably. He hated Cartman's meetings so very, very much. No wait, he just hated Cartman.
"Okay, you guys, you're never going to believe this." Cartman began, awaiting the group's excited remarks. When none came, he continued. "Ok, ok, you're never going to believe what happened."
"What, Cartman." Kyle said apathetically, taking a sip from his beverage.
"Ok, ok, last night- oh man, you're not even gonna believe what happened!"
"Cartman!" Stan and Kyle bellowed in unison. The chubby boy sighed,
"Alright, alright. Last night I was doing some studying-" Kyle spit out his drink.
"You? Studying?"
"Shut up you stupid Jew! Let me finish my goddamn story!" The fat boy snapped. "Ok, so last night I was studying what's in hotdogs, because you know all those lies about there being like pig snouts, and animal hair, and rats tails, in them; I wanted to know if it was true and stuff. So I looked up what was really in them, and it's only like meat fat, flour and spices! Why do people lie to make me feel guilty about the great food I eat? I mean I actually stopped eating them because my mom told me I could die from eating rat's tails! They do live in sewers and stuff. But it was all a lie so I can eat them again! And so can you guys!" He exclaimed.
Kyle simply glared at him, giving him the 'you're-kidding-me-right?' face, before just getting up and taking his food elsewhere. Stan as well bore that face, but didn't as rudely get up and walk away.
"Are you kidding me." Stan stated what everyone wanted to say. "That is what I'm not going to believe?"
"And maybe you were better off not eating hotdogs, now you're just gonna become even fatter." Kenny grinned.
"Ey, shut up you poor fuck. You live in rats." Eric retaliated. Kenny shrugged.
"So? I'm not fat." Cartman was about to defend himself, before they both heard Stan sigh from in front of them.
"Here's comes Wendy!" He exclaimed. A short women with lush black hair and symmetrical facial features walked towards Stan, her beauty very sophisticated. It was clear that she spent a lot of time making herself look good, but not so much that her face looked caked in pounds of make-up.
"Hey Stanley!" She squeaked excitedly, standing at the end of their table.
"Hey babes." He grinned up at her. She was beautiful. And she was all his. Cartman and Kenny's argument had completely fallen silent when she'd made her way over, Eric's attention somewhere else. Many people suspected he was jealous of Wendy and Stan's relationship, but he brushed it off. He didn't like Wendy, he didn't like anyone. He hated everything, especially Kyle.
"I was wondering if you'd want to go to a dance on Friday!" She exclaimed. "There's going to be a lot of couples going, I thought we could go too."
"Sure, I'd love to go." Stan replied happily, fantasizing about Wendy and him dancing, pressed together, beads of sweat running down their necks, under the multi-coloured lights, as their tongues danced-
"Great!" The girl's squeak snapped him out of his daydream. His eyes caught Kenny trying to get a peek up her skirt, since she was standing at the edge of the table. "Kenny!" He snapped. Wendy and Eric's attention was drawn to him, and he smirked. "What?" He shrugged.
Wendy shot him a dirty look, before taking a seat beside Stan. "You're still a little pervert." She said coldly.
"Well hey, I am the school's 'sex god,' or so I've heard people refer to me as." He smiled as he said the words.
"Well then go find a willing girl to look up the skirt of, rather than my girlfriend." Stan said, making a point that Wendy Testaburger was his. Kenny nodded,
"Ok, I will. I can get any girl anyway." Wendy rolled her eyes, a he lifted himself up from the table. "I'll be back."
As he marched his way out of the cafeteria, he immediately saw a good looking girl to win over. As he approached her, she shot him a dirty look.
"Don't come any closer to me, Kenneth McCormick." She spat, placing her hands on her hips. Kenny's eyes literally went wide, he wasn't used to this kind of behaviour.
"Uh… Why?" He asked, keeping his distance from her. Disregarding her previous threat, she approached him, and poked her finger into his chest.
"You- you jerk!" She pressed her finger into his chest again, harder this time. "You told me you'd call me the day after our… outing, and I never received a phone call! We never talked again, and two days later I see you with some skank!" Kenny shifted his weight, before breaking out one of his charming smiles.
"I'm sorry, babe." He smiled, before placing his hand on her waist and pulling her closer to him. She didn't object to this, and he quickly thought up a lie. "I thought you said you were going to call me, and when I didn't receive a phone call, I assumed you'd moved on. I was only trying to make you jealous and win you back when you saw me with that girl." As she looked up at him, he flashed her an innocent smile.
"Aw, Kenny, I'm so sorry." She wrapped her arms around his lower back, before raising herself onto her tippy-toes in order to reach his lips. He welcomed her kiss, and deepened it, their tongues entangling with one another. As they pulled away, the women pulled herself into his chest. "I hope I didn't hurt you Kenny." Kenny laughed inwardly.
"Well, now that we're together, it's okay." He smiled.
"Aww, Kenny. You are the best." She grinned at him, "We should, uh, 'hang' later. Cool?" She asked.
"Cool." He repeated. She reached up and kissed his lips once more, before explaining she had to leave. Kenny didn't object, and watched as she scurried off, wondering what her name was.
As Kenny approached the table he'd ditched only moments ago, he heard Wendy sigh.
"Ugh, what is it now Kenny." She asked peering up at him.
"Well, I just made out with some random girl who seems to think we're together." He shrugged before taking a seat in front of the couple. Stan sighed, bothered by this intrusion on their intimacy time.
"Amazing, what else is new." Stan said. Kenny ignored this.
"Where'd Cartman go?" He asked, not actually caring that much. Wendy piped up before Stan had a chance.
"He got tired of us displaying our affection to one another and left."
"Oh." Was all Kenny could say, remaining where he was, though it was obvious to him that the couple wished him gone.
"Why don't you go make out with your new girlfriend?" Stan asked, growing irritated. Once again, Wendy jumped in before Kenny had a chance to answer.
"Don't you feel bad about playing so many girls? I don't even know what they see in you." Kenny laughed.
"Like they're actually looking for real relationships, they know their just in it for the sex, they just don't want to seem like whores-"
"Not all women are like that you know. Maybe some of them actually think you're interested. Don't you feel bad about breaking hearts?" Wendy asked. Kenny pretended to think about this for a moment, before responding.
"No. Does it look like I care? I have all a guy wants… women. And alcohol." Wendy rolled her eyes.
"Wouldn't you feel better about being devoted to one woman that you love, like Stan is?" She batted her eyelashes at Stan, causing Kenny to laugh.
"Yea, you have Stan whipped. I feel sorry for him." Before Wendy had the chance to tell off Kenny, a high pitched shrill erupted to their side. All three of them turned their heads to see Bebe Stevens prancing towards them.
"Wendy!" She cried, sliding into a seat beside her best friend. "I need you to help me!" Stan sighed once more, there was no way he was getting his time with Wendy back now.
Kenny knew this girl, of course, everyone knew this girl. She was one of the biggest sluts in the whole school. One of the only girls Kenny had never had sex with. In his opinion, it was more of an accomplishment to be a man and have hundreds of girls fondling over you, but when a woman was throwing her body away to anyone and everyone, it was low. This girl had had sex with almost anything that moved.
However, she was quite a lot like Kenny.
"I need you to like, help me for this test I have. I have absolutely no clue what I am doing." Wendy sighed.
"Okay, I will help you Bebe." There was a long silence.
"Like, now?" Bebe urged. Wendy shot a look to Stan explaining her apologies, before scurrying off with her best friend. Stan crossed his arms over the table before resting his forehead on them.
"I hate life." He mumbled. Kenny smirked.
"You must hate that bitch."
"Who, Bebe?" Stan lifted his head, eyeing Kenny. "Don't tell her I said this, but she's so annoying, always cutting into our time and stuff." Kenny crossed his arms.
"Then tell her to piss off."
"I can't just do that, Kenny." Stan said, shaking his head. "She's Wendy's best friend. If I get her upset, it's gonna get Wendy upset, and that's gonna get me upset! No matter what, I lose."
"This is why girlfriends suck." Kenny concluded.
"Well you wouldn't know, Ken. You've never had one." The blonde gasped.
"I have so." He said, pretending to be offended. "And I hated it. In conclusion, girlfriends suck." Stan laughed, brushing his bangs out of his face.
"Well, there are good parts about being in a relationship."
"The sex?" Kenny brightened up. Stan sighed yet again.
"No, Kenny, it's not all about the sex, though that is an up side…" He muttered. "Anyway, it's more about the moments you share, and stuff, and the feeling you get when you see their face, and how-" Kenny held up his hand as if to silence Stan. "What?"
"Just- just stop. You're melting heart is making me cringe." The two boys chuckled before a tall male approached them. "Ey, Craig." Kenny said, ending his laughter. Stan merely glared up at Craig, he'd never been too found of him.
"Hey Ken." Craig didn't even bother to acknowledge Stan's presence before continuing. "Eh, I just bought four grams of weed off some guy. Pay me half and I'll give you half." He said. Everything in life had a price, regardless if you were friends.
"Deal." Kenny grinned, lifting out of the lunch table. "See ya." He called back to Stan, before heading out of the cafeteria doors. Stan frowned as he faced an empty lunch table.
Whewt! Another chapter down! Now REVIEW! Hahaha. No, seriously. Do it. :)