Donna learns of some of the Doctor's heartache...
He was cold, wet and felt miserable as he stood in the shadows; he'd been there for hours but he wasn't going to move.
He'd only come to this mud ball of a planet because he was here, or so he'd been told.
The door to the bar he was opposite opened and for a few moments light and music filled the dark.
The person he'd been following in the hopes he would lead him to him had either drunk himself into a stupor or had somehow slipped past him without noticing.. But still he waited until the music stopped and the lights went out; he'd failed.
He shivered and wished his parents were here; they would have the courage and the confidence to walk into the bar.
But he was not his parents.
He walked back to the small sparsely decorated room he'd taken; he didn't bother to undress, he'd be warmer with them on.
He lay down on the bed and tried not to shiver. He closed his eyes and although he knew it would be futile, he reached out in the hope that he would sense one of them or both of them or by some miracle, his little brother.
He let out a despairing cry when there was nothing and Seska let the tears that had been begging to run fall.
It was quiet in the TARDIS but Donna couldn't sleep...how could she?
Her life with the Doctor had just been turned upside down; not because the Doctor had left or told her to leave...it was worse. The Doctor she knew was no more, replaced by the same man but not quite.
This future Doctor seemed jaded and there was a harder edge to him. What had happened to her spaceman?
She walked towards the kitchen and had to pass what she knew was the Doctor's bedroom. The door was open slightly and she stopped because it sounded like the Doctor was dreaming.
Once she would have gone inside to comfort him, but now.
She was about to move when he called out a name and it was said in a mournful tone.
She moved then...leaving the Doctor that was and wasn't her Doctor to his dream.
"Seska!" he called and woke with a start and he did he immediately reached out with his mind...but it was too late; the yellow that was his son faded.
"No," he groaned but his hearts lifted. It meant Seska was alive and if Seska was alive then there was a chance that Jakaar was alive.
But he wouldn't find them if he was in the past.
He got up, time to do what he intended to do...find his sons and avenge the death of the Master and Ashena.
As he walked to the console room he let his imagination run; there were a myriad way to kill a man and he knew everyone. White Coat was at the centre of all his woes; it was time to settle the score.
The TARDIS let out a burble of concern when he entered.
"Don't talk to me," he snarled.
Another burble.
"Don't try and apologise."
A longer burble this time.
"You did what you thought was best? Who for...you?" I'd have been halfway to finding Seska if you hadn't...now I can barely sense him."
"Who's Seska?" a voice interrupted.
He whirled round to see Donna standing behind him.
Donna had been in the kitchen longer than she thought as she heard footsteps; she caught a flash of pinstripes...the Doctor and he was heading for the console room. She waited for a few moments and then followed him, stopping short of the room.
The Doctor was conversing with the TARDIS in the odd one-sided way.
She was going to leave but then he said that name again and she couldn't.
"Who's Seska?" she asked.
The Doctor whirled round, his look of surprise quickly turned to a scowl. He started to move, his intention clear.
"Oh no, not this time," she said and blocked his way. "Tell me who Seska is?"
She wasn't expecting him to snarl at her.
"That's none of your business."
She reacted as she always did when the Doctor got out of line and the slap echoed round the console room.
"Don't ever snarl at me again...now sit."
The Doctor glared at her but he sat down and she sat next to him.
"I'm not the enemy," she said. "I'm Donna Noble, your best mate and you can tell best mates anything. So, who is Seska?"
The Doctor sighed and there seemed to be an air of defeat about him...another thing that had changed.
"Was he a friend...lover?"
The Doctor shook his head. "Neither." He hesitated, and then said. "He's my son."
Donna didn't reply straight away, careful of what she was about to say. "He died on Gallifrey?"
Again the Doctor hesitated and she took his hand and it seemed to give him the courage to speak.
"No...the son I have now."
She blinked; she'd expected it to be someone close, even someone he'd lost to the Time Wars; but never a living son...a future child...which meant.
"You're married?"
He shook his head, but was silent.
"Divorced, single dad?" she prompted.
She felt him tremble and guessed. "Widowed?"
He nodded.
"Was she nice?"
"She was a he," he replied.
"Oh, you adopted Seska." She waited for him to speak again.
"Not adopted, he's mine."
It took a few moments for it to sink in. "You're his mother...well you kept your figure."
He smiled at that but for only a second.
"Just the one?"
Again the silence and she squeezed his hand again as the feeling he was about to reveal something painful washed over her.
"I had five, four boys and a girl."
She blinked when he said had and not have.
"My first son Iskar was...damaged in the womb and only lived a few hours, then twins a boy and a girl, Tejhan and Ashena, then Seska and finally Jakaar. Tejhan died when he was three and Ashena..."
He stopped again and she could feel his grip tighten.
"She died along with her father."
"Oh Spaceman," she said softly. "Where are the two boys?"
Silence again and then he said. "They're lost."
"Then go find them."
The Doctor laughed, but it wasn't a pleasant laugh; it had a tinge of madness to it and she flinched inside...the Doctor was broken, in more than one way.
"I don't even know where to start."
"You told the TARDIS you could sense him."
He laughed again. "For a second, it's like a raindrop in a thunderstorm and now I'm stuck here, in my past."
Donna stood then. "Since when has that stopped you? Always doing the impossible you are."
He looked at her. "I can't...not now there's you."
"What about me?"
"The future...your..."
"I've worked that out already, Martian Boy. I'm not with you in the future, but some things are more important. There are two boys out there who need their mother and that's more important than any stupid rule."
He Doctor looked at her and for the first time since that encounter in the console room a genuine smile crossed his face.
"Go wake up the good captain and in the words of one Marty McFly, we're going back to the future."