Family Ties

Chapter 2: Telling Lorelai

„But I don't want you to go, Emmy!" My little sister cried and pulled a face .

„Hope, you're not five anymore, you are seventeen. You'll find an occupation all by yourself, you don't need your big sister to entertain you." I answer impatiently, all the while packing, well, it's more like throwing, clothes and toiletries in my suitcase. I'll be off to college tomorrow and as sorry as I am for Hopie and that she has to stay in this house with my parents, I can't help but finding pleasure in the thought that I'll be gone in the morning and - hopefully - gone for good. She's their favourite anyway, she won't have to endure half as much as I had or even...

„It's just not fair, Emily you can't go too, I will be all alone, first Tom.." She stops short as I throw her a warning look. We have a silent agreement not to talk about our brother and while I was thinking about him a few seconds ago, I don't want Hopie to do the same. It's too painful for both of us and it only helps to let the anger towards our parents get bigger, our parents, who caused our brother to leave us, my parents, who literally threw me out of their house, a thing my little sister doesn't know about and hopefully won't ever learn.

I stop packing for a minute and hug her to me. She holds me very tight and I can feel her fighting against tears. I know she'll succeed, as much as I mostly do when fighting against them. Some may say we're hard or cold but when I feel Hopie press me even closer to herself and when I answer it with a soft kiss onto her dark brown hair, I know that we are not cold, I know we are not hard but we are strong, strong feeling and strong fighting, we always needed to be and yet I didn't know back then that I would have to be even stronger in the future.

The sight of Lorelai's house, appearing in front of me, tears me out of my memories. I stay in the car for a few minutes more and contemplate how to tell her the bad news.

As I knock on her door, my daughter's so familiar voice calls out: „Just a moment please." She all but screams and I can't help but frown, despite the situation. When she finally opens the door, her hair is covered in dust.

„Mom," she exclaims, clearly surprised, or more, well, shocked „What are you doing here?"

„Well nice to see you too." I say and I'm somewhat relieved that we can begin this talk with some bantering.

„Mom, come on, are you tellin' me, you came here without a reason?" Lorelai asks.

„No, Lorelai, I didn't come here without a reason." I start to fidget with my hands and have to swallow hard again. „ I have to tell you something."

She looks at me, trying to see what's behind the words. I can tell she knows me well enough to see, that there is something wrong. Sometimes we know each other much better than we would care to admit.

„Is something wrong with Dad?" she asks and I'm pleased to hear out sincere worry in her voice.

„Your father's fine, Lorelai, do we have to talk in the hallway?"

„No, of course not Mom, I'm sorry, I was just cleaning up and didn't expect anyone." She says and leads me into her living room. It's really cleaner than usual. We sit down on her couch. „Now what's up?" She sounds apprehensive.

„Do you remember your aunt?" I start, stupid question Emily, of course she'll remember. It's not that she saw her every other week but numerous times on numerous occasions even if the last time was at least ten years ago.

„Aunt Hope? Of course I remember her. Is there something wrong with her? Oh wait, is she coming over? I haven't seen in her in eternity. You sure must miss her mom." She rants and I know that her aunt's death will be a shock to her. Hope was younger than me and she doesn't seem to spend the slightest thought to the idea that her parents aren't immortal. Parents always seem to be immortal even if you aren't especially close to them, I can tell from experience.

„Unfortunately, she isn't coming over. She.." I trail off, looking into her expectant eyes. „There has been an accident involving her, your uncle and your cousin with his fiancee, Lorelai. My sister, she died in hospital, the others were dead immediately."

She just sits still, quiet and shocked. I know she liked Hopie a great deal, even adored her when she was a little kid and teenager, she always seemed to be some kind of role model for her, so much more spontaneous and modern than I ever was.

„Wow, Mom, I'm just..., I'm so sorry I mean this is so sudden, I, I really don't know what to say. How, I mean, when did this happen?"

„Yesterday night. The French police called me this morning. I don't know much about the how, though, my French didn't suffocate in that moment. They kept telling me something else I wouldn't understand. I have to call again in the next days, I also have to plan the funeral. Paul seemingly had no relatives at all and I'm the only one left from my family, I don't know much about the girl, Guillome's fiancee. Hope told me they had married in some kind of Caribbean ceremony last summer, but wanted to legalise it in France this year's Autumn. There was more, too but I never seemed to find the time to call Hopie to ask." I explain, one again trying to suppress my feelings of regret and sadness.

„Oh Mom I'm sure she knew how busy you were. You told her about Rory and everything, didn't you?" She says, sympathetically and lays a hand over mine. I take it and hold it tight, thankful for every bit of physical contact.

„Yes I did." I affirm, nevertheless not assured that this excuses my behaviour towards my little sister. „Well, Lorelai I don't want to hold you off from cleaning, I will just go home again."

„Where is Dad?"

„In Seattle. He flew off this morning, it's an important conference." I tell her.

„Does he already know?"

I nod. „ I called him. He wanted to come home but I told him not to. In fact, he then insisted on me coming here." I conclude with a sigh.

„Well he's right Mom, you shouldn't be alone in this situation." She agrees.

„I'm not alone. The maid is there, and I call some DAR ladies and talk with them."

„Oh, OK." She says, does she sound disappointed? „You know Mom, you could also just stay here, if you want."

„Overnight?" I ask incredulously.

„Yes, Rory's old room is empty, you could stay there, at least for tonight."

„Are you scared of your father when don't offer this to me?" I smile slightly.

„No Mom, I'm worried about you. Seriously, Aunt Hope and you were very close, it must be hard for you to lose her. I think you should be around your family tonight, even if it's just me." She says, very sincere and her eyes are pleading with me.

„OK, Lorelai, I stay." I answer warmly.

„Fine, I'll get some fresh bed-sheets for you." She wants to stand up but I tug her back with the hand I was still holding. She stops short, looking at me expectantly.

„It's notjust you Lorelai. In fact I can't imagine someone else I'd rather spent the evening with today. And I really appreciate you doing this for me." I tell her tears pooling in my eyes. As she looks back at me I see tears in her eyes as well. I gently stroke my thumb over hers and tug her hand one more time before letting go. That was close for us, although I still hope to be a lot closer to her again one day. And I can feel, felt it more and more in the last weeks that we may be on the verge of forgiveness, on the verge of finally moving on.

Suddenly their is a cry outside. The door flies open, is slammed close and in the doorway stands my granddaughter Rory, tears streaming down her face.

Coming up: Rory pours out her heart over Logan, and finally makes an apologetic step towards reconciliation with her grandmother, Emily really spends the night at Lorelai's and gets a nightly surprise...