Well so far no-one has told me they've died from reading Chapter 1 of my fanfic so here I go with Chapter 2.
One month later.
"Murdoc, is this some kind of horrible joke?" Russel asked sternly, lowering the volume on the CD player.
"Joke? What do you mean, 'joke'?" Murdoc replied with a devilish grin. "This is mine and 2D's latest work of musical art!"
Noodle, 2D, Russel, Murdoc and Cyborg Noodle were seated on an old, dirty sofa in Noodle's apartment room. None of them had actually bought a house since returning from Plastic Beach, as they were mostly too busy enjoying the smell of fresh air that didn't smell like landfill. However, the vomit smell seemed to linger... The five of them were staring at the dusty CD player, sitting on a little wooden table in the living room of the apartment. The newest Gorillaz album, 'V-Sides', was playing from it.
"This is terrible, Murdoc." Noodle said, shaking her head in disgust. "There is no way this is going to sell well. Once the word is out about this album, there's no way anyone else will buy it. And the fact that you, not only reused old lyrics, but took advantage of 2D's ill health, really disturbs me." Noodle and Russel looked worriedly at the singer, who unfortunately had still not recovered from his strange illness. He was sitting in a hunched-over position. He looked back at them looking like he was going to pass out or puke again.
"Oh come on, you've only listened to PART of V-Sides!" Murdoc laughed. "After the gooey rhythm at the beginning, the album starts to blend into some sick, chunky beats!" After hearing these words, 2D cupped his hands over his mouth and ran into the bathroom for the seventh time that morning. The sounds that came from the bathroom were not pretty, to say the least. Murdoc turned up the volume on the CD player in an attempt to drown it out, however, the song playing didn't sound much different. It was just 2D attempting to sing an old song while constantly being sick, with a new musical tune.
"Up on Melancholy hill there's a pl-HURRGGHLLR! Plastic tree... Are you here w-HRGHK! With me... Just looking out on the day, of an-BLUURGGHLKK! Another dream... Where you can't g-HRLGHK! Get what you w-UURHGK! Want, but you c-GURGHLK! Can get me... So let's set out to s-HUUURLBGHLBKKLKLRGH! 'Cause you are my medicine, when you're -HRRLK- Close to me... when you're close to M-RHHRGHGHLBBLLURRGHHH!"
Russel shook his head and put his hands over his face. He and Noodle- And probably even 2D- felt embarrassed to have V-Sides sold as an album under their band's name.
"Noodle, get me the phone." Russel sighed. "We're going to book 2D in for a doctor's appointment; this has been going on for way too long."
"No can do, people!" Murdoc said unusually cheerfully, standing up off the sofa. "We're going to be very, very busy the next couple of weeks."
"What do you mean...?" Noodle said nervously, her hand reaching out to grab the phone on the wall.
"We've got interviews, photo shots, gigs and concerts to perform!" Murdoc cheered. "We're starting out V-Sides WORLD TOUR!"
"WHAT!" Noodle and Russel yelled in unison, jumping up in horror. Cyborg Noodle remained unresponsive and in the silence that followed, 2D could be faintly heard sobbing, and gagging between sobs.
"How on Earth did you manage to plan all that in such a short amount of time without Russel and I knowing?" Noodle said quietly, her voice as shaky as her trembling hands. They had already given up and wanted a MAJOR break from the musical spotlight, and with 2D's current condition, a world tour seemed like a nightmare. And oh, it certainly would be...
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is Connor Soaprope onnnnnn... The Conner Soaprope show!" The television show host exclaimed. "Tonight is a very special night, as we will be having a VERY special interview with the VERY special band GORILLAZ as part of their V-Sides world tour!" The Audience cheered, and the cameras zoomed in on the show host's cheerful face. Meanwhile, the band waited nervously backstage.
"Okay, everyone, just act like you're enjoying this." Russel whispered to the others. "Whatever they ask, just give an answer, smile and act natural, but don't do or say anything controversial..."
"What if I get sick from nerves...?" 2D asked, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "Where do I puke? I don't want to dirty their floor, it's so red and velvety soft!"
"Just puke in the hat!" Murdoc hissed. 2D took his beloved sailor hat off his head and looked at it, biting his lip. He didn't want to dirty that, either.
"Aaaand here they are, Gorillaz!" Connor Soaprope cheered. The audience cheered again as Murdoc, 2D, Russel, Noodle and Cyborg Noodle walked onto the stage, smiling and waving. They all sat down on a circular red sofa and Connor sat down opposite them.
"Well first off, good evening Murdoc, 2D Noodle, Russel and Cyborg Noodle!" The host said. "How are you all this fine evening?"
"Yes, we're good." Noodle said, with a nod.
"Status: Alert, 89% power remaining." Cyborg beeped, twitching a little and giving Connor a blank glare.
"Bloody fantastic!" Murdoc laughed, leaning back and swinging his arm around like a madman.
"I'm... Okay..." 2D said. What he really wanted to say, was that he felt terrible and needed to see a doctor because he had been uncontrollably vomiting for several months.
"Let's talk about your new album, V-sides." Connor began, sitting upright formally and twiddling his fingers. "Where did you get the inspiration for this album's... Uhm... Theme?"
"Well, that's an easy one!" Murdoc said. "Face-Ache here came down with some mysterious illness, making it oh-so-difficult to get some decent vocals out of him, and we had no new lyrics to work with! However, being the irresistible genious I am, I just recorded whatever came out of 2D's mouth, quite literally, and added some new instrumentals to some old favourite lyrics! With a twist!"
"Oh dear, 2D, I suppose you're okay now, though?"
"No... Not really..." The singer replied with a mumble, turning pale and drooling slightly.
"Oh... Uhm..." Connor Soaprope stuttered, a bit concerned about having the ill vocalist on the set. "What are the best and worst things about performing live?".
"The best thing, in my opinion," Noodle explained, "is seeing all our ecstatic fans cheering us on as we perform, and inspiring them with our sound."
"The worst part is stage fright." 2D said. "It makes my stomach feel all funny. And I haven't even been up on stage since... Y'know, before that thing started..."
"Soooo... What plans do you have for after the tour?" Mr Soaprope asked, noting how Russel had shuffled away from 2D slightly. Cyborg Noodle, who was sitting on his other side, didn't respond.
"If we make enough money, I'll ditch these clowns and go get drunk for the next few years!" Murdoc snorted, earning odd looks from the others. "If we don't... I'll keep the band together with all my strength and record another beautiful, soulful album!"
"Well... I was thinking of opening a little taxidermy shop." Russel explained, gazing out into space. "I'd sell all kinds of strange and exciting hybrid and part-mechanical creatures... Wait, you don't need to know this..."
"I'm gonna buy some pepto bismol." 2D replied sharply, leaning forwards slightly and moaning softly.
"Now, I understand you returned from Plastic Beach at different times." Connor said. "Murdoc, you came back on a boat with Cyborg Noodle and 2D I assume?"
"A Submarine." The bass player corrected. "But yes, I left Dave, Rick and Tattoo behind. Hehe, suckers..."
"What was the trip back like? Were the waters rough or was it calm in the depths of the ocean?" The show host asked. 2D bit his lip and began to twitch a bit, not catching anyone's attention.
"If I need to puke, grab the hat..." The singer thought to himself. "If I need to puke, grab the hat... Grab the hat..."
"Well, once we got down deep it was fairly smooth riding." Murdoc answered. "But near the surface, WOW the waves were rough! The sub kept rocking about from side to side and-"
Suddenly, 2D swiftly grabbed the hat off Cyborg Noodle's head and held it under his face.
"BLLHHHUUURRKKKK!" Just as expected, 2D couldn't keep it in for the entire interview. Cyborg Noodle gave 2D a cold stare as he threw up into her hat, Murdoc leaned back in disgust and Noodle and Russel held their heads in their hands in embarrassment. A lot of gasps could be heard from the audience, along with some disgusted groans and a few giggles.
"Uhm, this is Connor Soaprope, on the Connor Soaprope show. We'll be back after this break..." The host said nervously, turning to face on of the cameras that had been filming them the entire time.
Back at 2D's hotel room the next evening, the Gorillaz were getting ready for an evening dinner. Everyone knew this wouldn't turn out well, but had to go with the flow. Murdoc still hadn't gotten over that spoiled interview from the previous day.
"I can't believe you screwed up that interview for us yesterday!" Murdoc growled, slipping on some shoes. "It was going so well until YOU went and spilled your breakfast into poor Cyborg's favourite hat!"
"Well it's your fault, since you're making us do all this when you KNOW I'm awfully sick!" 2D replied, combing his spiky blue hair. "And I didn't even have breakfast that day!"
"As much as I love the chance to get dressed up and go to a beautiful restaurant like this one, I think it would be best if we just ordered something and had it delivered to us." Noodle said, putting her sparkly socks on. "If 2D can't keep down almost anything he eats, the last thing we need is public attention while having a meal."
"Sorry Noodle, looks like we're booked in already for tonight." Russel said, checking in the mirror to make sure he looked half-decent. "We have to go, everyone's expecting us."
"Well, it's a forty-five minute drive to the place and the cab is here to take us there!" Murdoc said, looking out the window. "Let's go, quick!" The five of them rushed out of the hotel and walked over to the cab, wearing somewhat formal clothing.
"I'm not sure if I can handle a long car drive..." 2D mumbled worriedly to Noodle.
"Then sit in the front seat, damnit!" Murdoc hissed, overhearing. "Just don't get your gut spillage on us!" Luckily the driver heard none of this and 2D got into the front seat as requested. Russel, Murdoc and Noodle were terribly squished up in the back seats and Cyborg was stuffed in the boot of the cab. As soon as the cab driver began driving, 2D felt an awkward wave of nausea that seemed to intensify as the vehicle suddenly moved forwards. Within ten minutes, 2D was frantically rolling down the window with one hand and covering his mouth with the other.
"Oh no, nononono!" The cab driver said to himself, leaning away from the Gorillaz vocalist.
"HUUURGGHHHHLLLK" 2D threw up out the window onto the road below, then proceeded to gag a few more times before sitting back comfortably in his seat.
"Do you... Feel better now?" The unfortunate driver asked nervously.
"I'm sorry but no, I don't actually." 2D replied sadly, giving the driver a look that pleaded for forgiveness. What was worse was the fact that they still had another half an hour of driving left. And that half an hour would not be pleasant.
"Gllrk-HRGLK-NGHNGH-BBRRLUUGHHHK!" The vocalist was still vomiting. It now dripped all over the side of the cab, and there was even a 'misfired' puddle on part of the inside of the door and seat of the vehicle. Luckily, none of it went on anyone. By the end of the drive, there was gooey semi-digested mess all over most of the passenger seat door. The driver was not very pleased. When the band got out of the cab, they stretched their aching legs and pulled Cyborg out of the boot. To their surprise, it was rather quiet, only a few people where there.
"I'm so sorry..." Russel whispered to the cab driver, handing him his pay, plus a little extra as an apology. As they walked through the doors of the restaurant, the lady at the counter recognized them immediately.
"Ahhh, you must be the famous 'Gorillaz', yes?" She said cheerfully. Murdoc leaned against the counter and rested his elbow on it, then stared the lady in the eyes.
"We sure are..." Murdoc replied with a big grin, attempting to flirt after having only just walked throught the doors. Suddenly, an older, less cheerful woman appeared.
"Right this way, I'll show you to your seats." She said in a dull tone. The band followed her all the way to the back of the restaurant, where there was a large circular table reserved just for them.
"I LOVE being famous!" Murdoc laughed as they sat down.
"I know you do, but after this world tour, can we PLEASE go back to living semi-normal lives?" Noodle said quietly to him. Before Murdoc could reply, the waitress was at their table ready to take their orders. After all, it was very quiet that day. After a few minutes of mumbling and decision-making between everyone, Murdoc, Russel and Noodle all chose their orders. Russel and Murdoc ordered an interesting seafood dinner and Noodle ordered the soup of the day, which deep down she hoped would be noodle soup. Cyborg, of course, ordered nothing because she is just a robot. This left everyone staring at 2D, who was staring worriedly at the menu.
"I... Think I'll just have a glass of water, please..." 2D said nervously.
"Are you sure...? Is that all, sir?" The waitress asked, raising an eyebrow. The others looked at him worriedly,
"Okay then, maybe I'll just have something light... Uh..." 2D even knew himself that anything he ate would probably just get puked up. "Just a salad... A salad will do... With a glass of water, please." Then the waitress walked off with the band's orders written down. While they waited, Murdoc, Noodle and Russel talked to eachother about the V-Sides world tour and how it was a 'bad idea'. Cyborg Noodle stared at 2D, still upset about her hat. 2D didn't notice, as he scanned the restaurant with his black eyes, looking for the bathroom. When he found the bathroom, he used whatever brainpower he had to establish a quick path from the table to that bathroom, in case of a likely emergency.
Not long later, the meals were served to them. Before even looking at his meal, Murdoc grabbed the bottle of alcohol and began to drink it, as Murdoc usually does. Noodle and Russel began eating their dinner, then looked worriedly at 2D, who poked his salad nervously with his fork. The singer then looked up at Cyborg Noodle, who was still giving him a cold, sad stare.
"Cyborg, I'm sorry about your hat, Okay?" 2D sighed, looking back at the robot apologetically. "If I puked in my own hat I'd end up doing something stupid like putting it back on my head, I like that hat too much." He then finally picked up a spoonful of fancy salad and put it in his mouth. Murdoc was still gulping alcohol between bites of his own food and Noodle and Russel continued eating. Still, they were pretty much waiting for the somewhat inevitable.
"Mmmm, this salad is delicious." 2D said to himself, eating a few more mouthfuls of the salad. After a few rather peaceful minutes of dinner-eating, he swallowed a mouthful of salad and went to take another forkful of it, then paused. He put down the fork and looked up at the others. "Sorry, gotta go to the bathroom, be right back." He said quickly before running off with his hands over his mouth. There weren't many other people at the restaurant but they all turned to look at him as he rushed into the bathroom.
"Bathroom?" Murdoc yelled, waving his arm around, somewhat drunk. "Whaddaya mean, BATHROOM?"
"Poor guy." Russel said, shaking his head. "This must be humiliating for him. And the rest of us, too."
"I don't think I'm hungry anymore." Noodle said, pushing her bowl of leftovers into the middle of the table at the thought of what 2D was going through.
"Noodle, I'm going to go check on him." Russel said, getting out of his seat slowly. "I need to make sure he's okay." He then cautiously walked into the bathroom 2D had rushed into, while Murdoc yelled something obscene at him.
"2D, are you okay?" Russel called out, looking around the rather clean toilet room.
"No worse than usual..." A shaky voice called back from one of the cubicles. 2D opened the cubicle door and walked out, pale and wobbling about.
"I think we should go now." Russel said, pointing to the door. "This is getting out of hand."
"WAIT I'M NOT DONE HRRGHGHHLLL" 2D yelled before running back into the cubicle. Unfortunately he missed the toilet bowl and vomited all over the toilet seat and floor. "Okay, now I think I'm done..."
So after that, the band paid their bills and got out of there pretty quickly, leaving the mess in the bathroom for some unfortunate janitor to later find. Unfortunately, when they got to the cab which would take them home, the driver was not there! However, there was a note, which Noodle picked up and read.
"Dear Gorillaz," She read out loud. "I'm fleeing this town forever! I'm never driving you anywhere again after that. Sincerely, the cab driver who's not giving his name to you."
After an awkward silence, Murdoc shoved his way into the driver's seat. He was rather noticably drunk at the time.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Murdoc growled. "Get into the freakin' cab! We're going home!" Reluctantly, 2D got into the front passenger seat and Noodle sat with Russel in the back seat. Cyborg Noodle was shoved in the boot like before.
"Murdoc, I should drive." Russel said cautiously. "You're way to dr-" Suddenly, Murdoc slammed his foot on the cab's accelerator. The vehicle sped forward, forcing everyone back onto their seats and forcing a wave of puke out of 2D's mouth.
"MURDOC, SLOW DOWN!" Noodle screamed, clinging onto her seatbelt for dear sweet beautiful life and mercy as the drunk bass player swerved the cab back and forth violently. Almost every swerve made 2D gag. As Murdoc sped through various traffic lights and intersections, he narrowly missed several major vehicle accidents.
"I'm king of the streets, people!" Murdoc yelled, sticking his head out the window and feeling the city breeze in his hair. He stuck his head back in the cab just before driving dangerously close to a pole which would've decapitated him. After twenty dreadful minutes- The driving time had been cut down thanks to the bass player's mad driving- they finally arrived back at the hotel, shaken, but otherwise safe. 2D, however, was covered in his own vomit. It was one of the most unpleasant restaurant visits the band had ever had, in fact, probably THE most unpleasant. All the singer wanted to do was get back to his room and change into some clean clothes. But not before puking again!
Yeah, I'm getting the feeling this is out of character and confusing, but I tried to tidy it up a bit from the original version which I wrote like, ages ago. :P