Saying Sorry…
AN: Thanks for all the people who seems to be interested in this story. I never knew that you guys will like this fic!
About Life's Journey...I will post it again...next time I update. I'm kinda editing some of it coz I only copied it from someone. The reason why it was removed was because of the rating. I guess I should have labeled it as R not PG-13. But still...they should have put a warning instead of removing it! (Ok...I'll stop my angry rantings now...)
Oh yeah...rei-chan...you need not bow to me or anything. I'm just glad that you like my fic! That goes for everyone who reviewed! Thanks a lot!!! Anyway...I should just continue with the story...hope you like it!!!
Faith's POV
"Dada…da…da"
She continues to say as I hold her in my arms. She keeps pulling my hair and I tried not to pull hers. She is a child…and I'm trying to chant that in my head in order for me not to do something bad to her…
'But I'm surely going to get really mad if she doesn't stop this!!!'
I groaned as she pulled my hair again. For a child…she seems to have quite a grip. I glared at her but she's still laughing and clapping her hands amused at what she's doing to me. She still keeps on saying 'dada' all the time and well…it's kinda annoying.
I stopped glaring at her and just look at her trying to study her features. I couldn't help but compare her to B.
'She has B's nose…and hair who is also blonde…is this really B's child?'
I frowned and tried to remember the last time I saw B which was eight months ago in my apartment. She didn't seem pregnant at that time…so how come…she has a child…now? Is Angel the father? He doesn't seem to resemble the baby…plus…he's a vampire…meaning…he's dead. Then…could it be the new guy that I saw yesterday? Nah…it can't be…I know she's with Angel at that time. Maybe she cheated on him. Can't be…could it?
So many questions came running through my mind as I looked at the baby who was now playing at the buttons of my jacket. That's when I heard the front door open and close. I panicked as I heard it thinking that B maybe…left me with her child. I quickly went towards the door and tried to open it with the baby in my arms. After several attempts…I opened it and was surprised to see Willow's face, shocked.
"What are you doing here?!"
I rolled my eyes.
"Well duh…I'm trying to get out!"
She frowned and her eyes went wide as she saw the baby that I'm carrying.
"You…you're trying to kidnap her! You won't get away with it! I'll…I'll…"
"…try and stop me with everything you've got…Yeah…I know. It's getting kinda old now don't ya think?"
She glared at me and held out her hand…
"Give her to me…"
I shrugged and handed the baby to her. I was really glad that someone said that…I was kinda wishing that someone would. She seemed surprised though. I guess she thought I would put up a fight in order to get the baby. Yeah right…like I need a baby or something…
She held the baby tight protecting her. I looked at the baby who was sort of confused at the exchange. She looked at me, her eyes pleading and her hands trying to reach me. Willow just pulled her away from me which made the baby upset.
That's when she cried again…loud…saying 'dada' over and over again…
I rolled my eyes and sighed. I walked towards Willow who was having a hard time trying to calm the baby.
"Give her to me…she might shut up…"
Willow looked at me like I was insane. She opened her mouth to say something and I just beat her to it.
"Just give her to me so she won't cry so damn much. I won't do anything to her. I'll just make her shut up…not in the evil way mind you…"
She hesitated for awhile and I was getting impatient that I pulled the baby away from her. She didn't put much of a fight though. I held the baby who was busy crying again.
"Hey kid…don't cry…geeez…uh…dada's here…c'mon…shut up now…"
She stopped crying and opened her eyes. She pouted again and slowly…it turned into a smiling face. The pulling of the hair started again together with the dada which I assume…is me. I groaned and winced as she pulled my hair harder…
'When will the torture end?'
"Here's the milk…"
B suddenly said as she walked towards us. I glared at her.
"About time! Don't tell me you even looked at some cook book to get the recipe for making milk…"
She rolled her eyes and the baby seemed to notice her. She slowly looked at her and laughed clapping her little hands.
"Mama…mama…"
I frowned and looked at her and B who was slowly taking her away from me.
'What the hell?'
I raised my eyebrow and noticed Willow doing the same thing…but she's looking at me…not B.
Buffy's POV
I sat on the bed as I continue to feed the baby milk. Faith was by the window with her arms crossed and was obviously thinking. That goes for Willow too who was standing beside me looking at the baby, frowning. I couldn't help but smile at the baby at how cute she is…
"Hmph…never thought I'd see the day when the 'holier than thou' B has a child. So…who's the father B?"
I looked at Faith and couldn't help but raise my eyebrow. She thinks that this baby is…mine. I sighed…
"She's not mine…I just found her in my room yesterday…while I was looking for you…"
She looked away and grumbled a 'yeah right.' She shook her head and started walking towards the door, frowning.
"Whatever…I'm outta here…"
I felt the baby try to sit up in my arms and removed the bottle that was in her mouth. She whimpered and held her little hands up that were on Faith's direction. She keeps whimpering and trying to reach Faith who was now holding the doorknob of the door.
"Faith…"
She looked at me, glaring.
"What?!"
I looked at the baby and that made Faith look too. I was surprised when the baby called Faith 'dada.' She's pouting now…and she really wants Faith to hold her. I looked at Faith who was frowning at what she saw. Slowly…her frown softens and she sighed, defeated.
"Why does this always happen to me?"
I couldn't help but smile as Faith sat beside me and slowly took the baby away from my arms to hers. Faith took the bottle too and feed the baby who's in her arms. I smiled and couldn't help but raise my eyebrow.
"That's weird…She calls me 'mama'…and she calls you 'dada'…"
Faith rolled her eyes.
"Tell me about it. It's freaking me out. I mean…she's obviously mistaken. How can someone call you 'mama' and me 'dada' when I'm much more of a 'mama' type than you…"
My smile disappeared and I just raised my eyebrow at her.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that…"
She grins at me.
"Whatever floats your boat B…"
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. She really likes to tease me sometimes…and somehow…now that she's doing it again without the evil intentions…I couldn't help but smile. I turn to look at Willow who was looking at the floor. She noticed me looking and I just raised my eyebrow asking her my silent question.
"Um…I just thought…that maybe…the reason why she's both calling you that is because…somehow…you two resemble her own parents…"
I looked at the floor and noticed Faith move. I turn to her and she was frowning at Willow.
"Are you telling me…that her 'dada' or should I interpret that as father…resembles…me…"
Willow nodded and Faith just looked at her shocked.
"You've got to be kidding! I look like a guy?! That's insane!"
Willow rolled her eyes and sighed.
"There are lot of insane in this world…and that includes you Faith…remember…?"
"Somehow…I forgot…want me to try it again on you so I can remember?"
I watch them as they slowly try to challenge each other. I've got to stop it and make them realize that there's always a second chance…and that really goes to Faith. I was about to suggest them to calm down when mom entered my room unaware of what's happening.
"Buffy…how was the-"
She froze when she saw Faith holding the baby. Somehow…Faith also froze in her position. I suddenly stood up terrified that mom would say something that would make Faith leave.
"Uh…hi mom…welcome back…how was your day?"
She looked at me with her eyebrow raised and then turned to Faith again.
"I didn't know you were awake. How are you?"
I stared at my mom with my mouth open. Did she just say what I think she said? I glanced at Faith who was shocked too. Somehow…I think Faith might consider a second chance with mom on my side…
Faith's POV
'I think this family is insane…'
We're in the living room after getting the baby to sleep. B called the entire Scooby gang for a meeting in their house. So I'm surrounded by most of the people who I've hurt in the past. Though I really don't remember doing anything to the Tara and Anya who's also a member of the Scooby gang…
Mrs. Summers decided that we have a talk in the living room. I didn't want to at first…but after some useless excuse in order for me to get out, which Mrs. Summers didn't permit though…, I decided to give in and just listen to what they're going to say.
The way I see it…there are three sides arguing. One was against me…which was composed of Willow and Xander…the other side was with me…and I was surprised to see that there's only one member…B. The last side? Well…they're the undecided side…the silent side…
Both sides started arguing in front of me. It's kinda a pain the ass to listen to them argue. What I wouldn't understand is B. It's like…nothing between us happened…like she forgot it all. It's weird…but I wanted to know why she's so damn hard headed on defending me.
I was getting tired of them arguing right in front of me like I wasn't there. I laid my face on both my hands getting pissed at the argument taking place.
'Why does this have to happen to me? First some kid mistook me for her father…the device that the mayor gave me broke down into pieces and now…I'm surrounded with people who don't like me. I just came here to have my simple revenge and I'm in the middle of a fucking debate!'
I groaned and suddenly stood up breaking their useless argument. I was tired and kinda mad in the outcome that happened today. It was supposed to be a simple plan on making B's life difficult…and now…I think my plan back fired and made MY life difficult…
"Look! I think it's better if I just go away and let you guys figure this out. Until then…I'll just get out of here…"
I was about to walk towards the door but stopped when Mrs. Summers called me. I turn to her.
"Faith…you're staying here. Maybe you should just go check on…um…the baby. She'll probably wake up what with all the yelling here…"
I was about to protest but…I couldn't when she said her magic word. The only word that somehow I couldn't get out of…and so is B…
"Now…"
I groaned and slowly went up towards B's room. And you thought her magic word is please? Ha! Yeah right!
Buffy's POV
"She can change! I know it!"
Xander frowned.
"How can you say that?! She's a snake who can manipulate people into thinking that she changed! What makes you think that she won't slit your throat when your sleeping?"
I really don't know why I'm defending Faith like I am now. I should be the one angry most…but apparently…I'm not. The moment I saw Faith holding the baby…somehow…I just know that she might…change…to the Faith that I once knew and liked. So…I'll just make them see…see it through my own eyes of what I think. I looked at the floor and frowned slightly…
"I just…know it…"
We've been arguing for quite sometime now. Xander and Willow seems to be the only one who's hard to crack. They really hate her. I understand what they feel…but I do hope that they'll reconsider…I sighed and sat down the couch. Willow stood beside me looking down at me.
"Buffy…why is it that you seem to have so much…faith in her. Why do you really want her to have a second chance?"
I stared at the floor thinking for an answer. I sighed and looked up at her and just told her what I really felt…so they would understand better…
"Because…I miss her. She's like…a part of me…that I just can't forget. Besides…it's also my fault for her turning into the dark side…"
"What are you saying? It was clearly her fault! Not you! Why are you blaming yourself?!"
Xander said as he walked towards me, frowning. I looked up at both of them…finally able to tell them what I felt…
"It's not her fault…it's mine. If…If I didn't blame her for killing Finch…if I didn't tell her that it was 'her' fault…then maybe…just maybe…she wouldn't side with the mayor. It wasn't just her fault. It was mine too. I was there too, when the accident occurred…I guess I was just…scared at that time to admit that I was a part of it…and instead of saying that I' am…I just…I told her that what she did was wrong…that it was her fault. I betrayed her…as she did to me…we've hurt each other…and somehow…I want to mend it…so please understand…just give her a chance…please…"
I looked at all of them as I said this. It's all true. I'm feeling guilty that I stabbed her…and that I betrayed her. She doesn't deserve all this. Maybe if I could have been much closer to her…maybe things wouldn't turn out like this…
Faith's POV
I couldn't help but frown as I heard what B said. I'm holding the baby in my arms who's snuggling at my neck. She did wake up and I decided to carry her and rock her to sleep. I was surprised when everyone went silent downstairs and I decided to snoop what was happening. That's when I heard B's speech…
'She's blaming herself for what 'I' did…stupid B…'
I thought as I slowly walked inside her room. I laid the baby in her bed and lay beside her…watching her breathe. I brushed some of the hair in her forehead…
"You know…the lady you're calling 'mama'? I think she hit her head or something to be talking like that…kinda stupid huh?"
I smiled slightly and closed my eyes for awhile…I was about to fall asleep when I felt a hand on my face. I slowly open my eyes and found the baby's small hand on my cheek. She's still asleep and was rolled into her side facing me. I took her small hand on mine and stared at it for awhile. B's words were still on my head…
"She's a part of me…I'm a part of her…why does it feel like…you're also a part of me…huh?"
Buffy's POV
I slowly made my way towards my room hoping find Faith there. I opened the door slowly and focused my eyes on the dark. I can feel her…which is good. I slowly step inside and looked at the bed that was now occupied. I slowly walked towards there and couldn't help but smile at the sight.
Faith…and the baby…sleeping with their hands attached to each other…
I looked at Faith who now has a peaceful look on her face. Seeing her sleep like this…I can't help but notice how young she looks. It's like I'm seeing a different side of Faith that's rarely been seen. I kept staring at her and almost jumped when I heard her voice…
"You know B…staring at someone who's sleeping is kinda like peeping…"
"It's just that…you look peaceful when you're asleep…"
She sighed and slowly sat up.
"Whatever…so what's the what?"
Peaceful Faith has now left…and now bad ass Faith has now active. I sighed and remembered what I was supposed to do…
"They want to talk to you downstairs…"
She smirked and raised her eyebrow.
"Talk? Do they really want to talk…or just throw stones at me?"
"They want to talk…I'm sure of it…"
She shrugged and slowly stood up.
"Okay…lead me to the cavalry…"
I smiled and she walked beside me. I can tell that she's pretty nervous…but still…that doesn't stop her…
Faith's POV
I slowly made my way down with B behind me. I've been thinking of what to do for awhile…and well…I never thought I'd say this but…I want to make amends. I want to change too…and hearing B blame herself for my mistake somehow made me see the wrongness that I've been doing. Murdering, torturing people…that's not what I was supposed to do…Somehow…I forgot why I'm born…why I'm here in Sunnydale. I forgot the most important thing…who I am…
A slayer…
One of the chosen two…
I took a deep breath and calmed myself. I wasn't used to this shit and well…it's kinda giving me the willies. I turn to them and saw them looking at me…which makes me nervous.
'Time to make my speech I guess…'
I sighed and felt B's presence beside me. I guess that it calms me a little when I feel her. I never told her this but…I like our connection. It's different and calming at the same time. I looked around and frowned slightly…
"Okay…before any of you say something…I gotta say this first. So listen up coz I'm not gonna repeat myself…"
Mrs. Summers were the only one who nodded. I shrugged that thought away and looked at them in the eye one by one…
"I'm…sorry…for causing you guys…trouble and for turning evil. I guess…when I killed Finch…I kinda lost it. I mean…when you guys found out that I killed someone…all of you looked at me like…I'm a bad person. I couldn't stand it…so I did what you expected me to do. Be the bad guy. It was so…easy. Easy than seeing all of you stare at me…judging me."
Shit…I can't believe I'm actually saying this shit! I'm really not used to saying sorry and well…I think I'm getting soft by telling them all this. But that doesn't mean that what I just told them isn't true. It's what I felt when I killed Finch…and well…I'm just trying to get it all out.
I noticed all of them just staring at me. It's making me feel uneasy so I just raised my eyebrow at them and asked…
"So…what does the verdict say?"
Xander raised his hand…
"Guilty!"
Almost everyone except Anya glared at him. He slowly removed his hand noticing all the stares that he's getting. I couldn't help but smirk at him. Mrs. Summers cleared her throat and looked at me seriously…
"It's nice to see you sorry for all you did Faith but…are you really willing to change? Do you really want a second chance?"
I wanted to say 'Yes! That's why I'm saying this shit!' but I can't. I gotta have manners right? If I told her that…she might just not believe me. Though, it's no problem to me anyway. I could just move out of this crappy town and head for a city far more exciting that Sunnyhell. But even though I can do that…I somehow still want a second chance to prove them…especially B that I can be responsible. Besides…maybe staying here is kinda fun…
I looked at Mrs. Summers seriously and nodded my head.
"Yes…I want a second chance…"
They kept looking at me like they're trying to see if I'm joking or anything. Seeing my serious face they seemed to accept it and just stayed silent for awhile thinking whether or not they should give me another chance…
Buffy's POV
How did the meeting regarding Faith's second chance go? Well…it went pretty good. Everyone's willing to give her a chance to start over. Even if some of the guys…meaning…Willow and Xander…still doesn't give their 100 approval…they say that they'll think about it.
It made Faith breathe a little. I know she was nervous. She seemed like she was about to bolt at the door. But I was glad that she didn't. I know she might've pulled a lot of guts to do that. And somehow…I'm proud of her.
After all of us had dinner…we sat again in the living room and discussed another important matter…
"What are we going to name her?"
Xander said as he pointed towards the baby that was in Willow's arms. She had woken up again, but I was glad that she wasn't crying again. She seemed happy…and well...it's kinda weird. I mean she's surrounded by people whom she doesn't know. I'm not much of a baby expert but…shouldn't she be crying with strangers around her?
I shook those thoughts away and just focused on what is the topic at hand.
"He's right…since we don't know her name…we should give her one…"
Faith, who was leaning at the wall raised her hand slightly.
"How 'bout…Hair puller…seems she's so good at that…"
I rolled my eyes and smiled knowing now that she somehow feels comfortable. But still…that doesn't mean that I'm going to agree with her…though I know how she felt…
"How about a name for a person…not a title…"
"How about Cathy…"
I shook my head as Xander made a suggestion.
"I don't think so…it's too…common."
After several minutes, every name that was on our heads was thrown in the living room. Still…we hadn't picked one of them. Silence overcame us as each one of us was thinking of a name. Faith was the one who broke the silence giving her idea of a real name since she said 'hair puller'.
"…Mika…how bout Mika…"
I looked at her and raised my eyebrow.
"Mika?"
She shrugged…
"Yeah…that's human name right? Or would you rather go for 'hair puller'?"
I looked at the baby who was looking at Faith smiling…while drooling.
"Uh…maybe I should change that to…Droopy…since she drools so much…"
I looked at Faith who was staring at the baby disgusted with what she saw. I smiled at her and shook my head.
"No…Mika's fine…"
I slowly made my way to Mika and carried her. She's laughing again showing her dimpled smile. I held her up as she continue to laugh.
"You like your name huh?"
She continues to laugh which made me smile. I walked towards Faith who was backing away a bit.
"Mika…give 'dada' a kiss for giving you a name…"
I held her to Faith and she tried to get away but was useless as she was backed at the wall.
"Yah! Get her away from me! She has spit all over her face!"
I couldn't help but laugh as Faith continue to face her head sideways trying to avoid Mika's mouth that I'm trying to place on her cheek. Eventually…Mika gave her a sloppy kiss on her cheek and I held her away which made her clap her hands. I looked at Faith who was still on the wall with a disgusted face…
"Geez Faith…If I had known that you hate spit so much…I could've spitted on you when you turned against us…"
Everyone seemed to find it funny except for Faith who was trying to wipe the saliva that Mika gave her…
Faith's POV
Everyone went home since it's almost midnight. I was stuck here in the Summers residence as Mrs. Summers told me that I'll be staying here. So much for building my mansion…
I sighed as I sat on the porch thinking of what happened. I had fun…except for when I said sorry and when Mika kissed me…
Mika…
I actually have no idea why that name came to me. It just did and well…it suits her. It feels right to call her that…
"You're still not asleep?"
I turn to the voice and found B in her pink pajamas. I couldn't help but smirk at her.
"Geeez B…you really ought to cut out the pastels for awhile…"
"What? At least I have good taste than you who probably sleep in…black pajamas!"
I grinned at her and couldn't help but wiggle my eyebrow.
"Nude…I sleep nude…meaning…I'm not wearing any black pajamas…or anything for that matter…"
That made her blush…just like the B I know. When it comes to something naughty…she'll blush. I smirked again and saw her pout.
"Well you better wear something since you're going to live here!"
I didn't say anything for awhile as I stare at her. She really looks like Mika…the way she pout. She seemed to notice this and frowned at me slightly.
"What? What is it?"
"Y-you just…"
She waited for awhile for me to say it. I shook my head noticing that what I'm probably going to say is stupid.
"Nothing…it's nothing. Forget about it…"
She continues to frown not satisfied with my answer. I took a deep breath and finally saying what I've been wanting to say to her once we're alone…
"Buffy…"
That made her look at me seriously. I guess she noticed me saying her full name which I guess I never much say…
"…What I said there…all of it…was true. I am sorry for what I did. You know that right?"
She nodded and just continues to listen…
"Still…that doesn't mean…its ok between us…I mean…you stabbed me and left me in a fucking hospital for eight months…that thing is hard to forget…you know…"
That made her look at the ground with a sad look on her face…
"I…know…but I thought we're…I don't know ok…that we're…five by five?"
I stood up and walked towards her. I laid my hand on her shoulder which made her look up.
"It's not…we're not five by five…"
She looked at the ground again and I saw her frown slightly. I squeezed her shoulder and smiled slightly…
"But…we will be…someday…I hope…"
She looked at me, smiled slightly and nodded her head. I removed my hand on her shoulder and made my way inside the house. I couldn't help but groan as I heard her…
"That doesn't excuse you from sleeping naked! I'll get some of my pajamas that'll fit you…"
Me…wearing a pastel colored pajamas…there's always a first for everything…but why the hell did it have to be that?!