Title: 101 Questions

Rating: PG 13

Genre: Humor/Romance/Friendship

Pairing: Sasuke/Sakura

Warnings: Language, Violence, Nudity

Summary: Sakura tugged at Sasuke's pants, and peered at him curiously. "Hey mister, what's an ass?" At the end of the day he'll be lucky if he wanted to restore his clan.

Disclaimer: I neither hold now ownership to Naruto nor am I affiliated with the anime, manga or mangaka of this series. The only thing I own is the plot and whatever made up characters of my own designs. Whatever lyrics used belong to their respectable owners as well.

Author's Note: This is really a new "style" for me. In my pervious works I have not turned a character into their younger version, well not this young. It's sort of weird, but fun. This chapter was very weird, in my opinion. All I can say is "poor Naruto," but that image wouldn't leave my mind. The more fluffy or romantic material will come a bit later on. Thank you everyone for the reviews, alerts, and favorites. I thought of putting Sai in here, but I really don't know much about his personality. Lee will be added as an extra separated from the initial story. I completely forgot about him. He'd make such a funny asset.

Chapter Two: Rubber Ducky

Sakura watched by the oak tree, a good few feet from the whispering bushes, and a safe distance from the training taking place. She was in awe by all the cool stuff her daddy would do, and said. But she wasn't the only one.

From out of nowhere the bushes that were once whispering sprouted heads of female ninjas, and regular villagers. And the nightmare began. Fan girls, fan girls everywhere, the worse nightmare that now centered on Sasuke's training lifestyle.

"I think he winked at me!"

"No, he winked at me!"

"Idiots. Sasuke doesn't do winks!"

"Sasuke is so amazing! Look at his chest! Yummy!"

"Do you think he'll take it off?"

"Did you see that? That Naruto kid is always getting in the way!"

"He just punched Sasuke's beautiful face! That's unforgivable."

"It should be a crime I tell you!"

"But Sasuke's still so hot."

"Really, really hot. I could probably fry an egg on him."

"Or whip cream." They moaned at this.

The crowd of girls continued their chitchat unaware they were being heard clearly by the four on the training grounds. Sasuke was beyond annoyed, Naruto wasn't sure to laugh his ass off or be pissed about the attention the Uchiha was getting, Kakashi ignored them for it was easy after practicing a lot of meditation over the years, and Sakura was just as annoyed as the Uchiha.

The ring leader, a busty red-haired girl tossed her hair to the side, and stood up with a determined expression. "I'm going to go over there right now and introduce myself."

Her two other friends, though envious of her confidence, were supportive and clapped encouragingly. As the girl marched towards the training trio, she came upon the mini medic.

"He wouldn't date you." Sakura informed the fan girl, quickly knocking down her ego a few notches.

The girl, Arisa, snorted, and eyed the child like if she were a squashed bug on the bottom of expensive shoes. "Why not? I'm one of the best chuunin from the Mist. Of course he'd date me. And how would a pipsqueak like you know who he'd date?"

Three feet away, the other fan girls glanced at her with a deadpan expression, but didn't comment. Clearly, not only was she cocky, and boastful, she was also exaggerating her status. Yet none of them dared to call her out on it.

"Well, because he's my daddy, lady. Don't you know anything? For a best whatever you are, you're not really smart."

"W-What did you say?"

The tallest of the three, Miki, swiftly leapt to her feet, and grabbed the fuming teenager by the arms who glared at her now. "Calm down, Arisa. She's just a little kid. God, you're so immature."

Kikyo, the oldest of the three by a year, nodded, and rubbed her chin thoughtfully for a moment. "You know she reminds me of someone. And it's really strange I don't remember. I mean the only person I know that has pink hair is that medic Sakura."

"And she says Sasuke is her daddy. Pink hair…parentage…oh my god!"

Arisa hit them both in the head, unable to remember why she befriended the two. "Knock it off you idiots. She's too old to be their kid. She's like six or seven."

"Six and a half." Sakura interrupted, looking at the girl as if she were dumber than a stump. This only fueled the short temper the teenager had.

"I knew that."

"No you didn't." And in a manner that mirrored her 'father', she added. "Now go away."

It wasn't said nearly as harsh as Sasuke, but to be spoken to as if Arisa were a kid was the last straw in her mind. Taking a menacing step forward, she growled. "Why you little—"

The kundai soared through the air, cutting off Arisa's threat, and landed inches above the three fan girls' heads. They screamed, and fell onto their knees. Their skin pale, and eyes as big as saucer pans they stared at their dream boy in disbelief as a few strands of hair fell to the ground.

"What was…?" Naruto stared at Sasuke, who slowly lowered his hand.

"I slipped." He replied impassively.

Kakashi and Naruto shared a look as did the other fan girls. Sasuke Uchiha never missed.

"I think that's enough training for today since your lack of concentration is hazardous." Kakashi slowly lifted his book upwards to notice a kundai was implanted in its center, and groaned.

Two birds with one stone. His student really could be quite cruel.

II.

Three minutes later Sasuke walked with Sakura from the training ground, thankfully without the fan girls following behind like a dog after its bone. Perhaps that little "accident" would scare them off for the time being. Things seemed to be looking up for him. In fact, Sakura had not asked a single question probably because her mouth was filled with candy as a bribe from Naruto.

Sasuke thought it would be easy getting from point A to point B since there were no girls coming up to him asking for autographs, dates, or just hanging all over him as if he were their property. But when they came upon two middle-aged women, that all changed. They greeted them with smiles, especially Sakura who looked adorable with a lollipop in her mouth.

"Oh how cute. Is she yours?" A pregnant blonde woman questioned, her brunette friend joined her carrying several shopping bags.

Sasuke said nothing, but merely raised an eyebrow. Did he look old enough to father her? Clearly someone had been tapping into the sake a bit too early in the morning. Maybe it was a pregnant woman thing. Obviously, he wouldn't know.

But before Sasuke could answer, or rather walk right past them; her friend gently pinched the oddly silent girl's cheeks fondly. "Of course she is. She has his complexion and cute looks. Or maybe they're siblings. Yes, that's it."

"Hum. I agree."

Sasuke was thankful Sakura didn't call him "daddy" otherwise the two women would become convinced, and then the questions would start.

Sakura stared at the blonde woman, her eyes always drifting back to the large stomach. "Why is your tummy so big, lady? Does it hurt?"

Before the woman could answer, Sasuke tugged Sakura away. He knew if she got the answer to her "tummy" question there'd be ten thousand more, and he was not in the mood.

However, it seemed as if the gods were having a field day for they passed several couples with newborns, and toddlers. Sakura watched them curiously, but strangely enough didn't say a word for several more minutes. But Sasuke knew it was coming, he could practically hear the wheels turning in her head. When she opened her mouth, green eyes now locked on him, he mentally braced himself.

"Where do babies come from?" Sakura questioned.

"Ask your parents." Sasuke muttered.

"But you're my daddy, and I wanna know now."

"Would you stop being so nosy, and just be quiet."

"Is it really the stork?" She went on, ignoring his demand. "I mean why would a big ole bird bring people babies? Wouldn't he get lost? How would he know who's baby is who?"

There was no use getting around it other than duck taping her mouth. But knowing Sakura, it would take little effort to annoy him further. So, he decided answering would fix everything.

"He gets help from…" The Uchiha cringed, unable to believe he was going to say it. But he was willing to do anything to stop her endless chitchat. "Santa Claus."

"Really?" She frowned; her eyes grew wider with curiosity. "Are you sure?"

After having his arm shook several times by the inquisitive girl, he finally retorted, "Yes. I'm sure."

"Are you sure you're sure? Because—"

"Yes, I'm sure I'm sure."

"But how can I be sure that you're sure and that—"

Sasuke's left eyebrow twitched as she continued her talking. This was getting ridiculous, and he was getting annoyed.

Sakura frowned, and mused over this for a while. "People are always telling kids things just to shut them up. So I'm not really sure. So how can you be sure that the Santa Claus helps the stork? I—"

"Because I said so."

She blinked at him several times, frowned, and then sighed. "Okay."

Sasuke closed his eyes, and allowed the tension to leave his body. Ah, blissful silence. He missed it so much especially now that she was done talking. When he had called her annoying at twelve, he never knew how wrong he had been. Sadly, for a genius, he was an idiot to think it was over because she wasn't the type to let things go if whenever she felt she was right.

"Sasuke Daddy, why's the sky blue?" She didn't accept his "because," and added, "Why can't it be pink, or red sometimes? It's always so blue, and that's boring. Pink is a nicer color. Don't you think?"

It didn't stop there. Her questions became weirder, more annoying and she became more determined to drive him crazy. And it worked.

"Hey, Sakura! Yo Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed, now finished spending lunch at his favorite ramen stand in the county. He was excited to see how Sasuke held up, but never expected this.

Naruto paused, and stared. Sasuke looked like a mess, worse than the time they had spent hours trying to unmask their sensei as genins. He had several bags under his eyes, his hair was a mess, he looked so pale, and in short, like a zombie.

"Are you…okay?" He asked slowly, and watched the Uchiha approach him with a confused Sakura in his hands.

When Sasuke reached Naruto he plopped the wide-eyed girl into his arms, offered no explanation and staggered like Tsunade after a wild night at the bar without saying a single word. Hell, he looked like the slightest of wind would knock him over.

"Man… that was weird." He whispered, watching the dark-haired ninja disappear around the next corner.

"Daddy?" The mini medic peered over the blonde's shoulder, but saw no sign of her would-be father anywhere.

"Hey Sakura," Naruto's big ole smile must have the opposite effect on her for she suddenly paled. Perhaps it was because no normal person should be this excited about caring for a toddler. Or maybe she knew the horrors that occurred whenever he babysat. No one really can be sure. "We're gonna have some fun. Just you, and me, and—"

Sakura screamed, "Gah! Dirty old man! Help! Help!"

"W-What? Where? Where?" Naruto then grimaced as she wiggled out of his arms. "I'm not…Sakura!"

Everyone turned to look at the screaming girl trying to push herself away from the now frantic Naruto who was trying to explain the circumstances. However, a few overprotective fathers, and concerned mothers of other children came over and successfully freed her by beating upon Naruto.

Sakura smiled to herself, and he knew it had been a rouse. She was truly a sly little girl that knew how to outsmart almost anyone.

"I hate babysitting." Naruto groaned. Every experience in the field had been nothing but trouble.

Watching from a distance with a clipboard in hand, Shizune sweat-dropped, but quickly walked over to Sakura who looked somewhat confused by everything. She couldn't believe how reckless Sasuke and Naruto were. It was clear neither boy was ready for parenthood anytime soon. Their paternal instincts were seriously lacking at the moment.

"Oh, you poor little girl, what are you doing out here by yourself? Children shouldn't be wondering around alone. Where's your…uh father little girl?"

"My father?"

Tsunade's going to have a cow if she finds out the Uchiha left her unattended. The older woman inwardly grimaced at the comical image of an unpleased hokage. Comically if one was not at the receiving end of the other woman's legendary fists.

"He went that way. He didn't look too good." Sakura pointed to the direction Sasuke had left.

"Well then, we'll just go find your father, and check up on him then."

"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers." She replied, which caused the older woman to sweat-drop in response.

"I won't hurt you. I'm good friends with the hokage. We met earlier, remember?" It took some convincing but eventually Shizune won over the cute child, and took her by the hand to locate her "father".

III.

It took Shizune and Sakura no more than ten minutes to find, and enter the apartment. Each room was neat, and well polished as expected from Sasuke. Nothing was too extravagant or pricey yet managed to appear elegant. The kitchen and living room showed no signs of the Uchiha.

"Sasuke Daddy where are you?" Sakura exclaimed, but she received no response. But since the door was open the Uchiha had to be home.

Shizune listened carefully, and heard running water coming from down the hallway. "He must be taking a bath." She then set a few shopping bags by the couch, and plop the child there as well. "I'll just leave these here. There's some extra clothing, bath things, and toys in here for you."

"Okay. Bye bye Shizune."

"Good bye, Sakura. Be a good girl, and don't overwork the boy too much." Then she bowed politely, and closed the door behind her.

Sakura sat on the couch like a good girl for about a few minutes, and then began kicking her legs impatiently. She smiled to herself. "Sasuke Daddy is taking a bath?" She processed this new information for a moment, and then smiled. "I'll take one too. I'm really dirty after all that walking, and ice-cream."

Sakura grabbed several rubber ducks from the shopping bags, a towel, and then hustled into the bathroom. She opened the door, and shouted, "I'm ready for bath time, Daddy!"

In the shower still, Sasuke turned his head upon hearing her voice, and stared. The soap slipped from his hand, and clanked onto the floor as black eyes met green. And then suddenly the silence was broken with screams.

Hearing the screams that were loud enough to shake a house, watching Naruto run past her with the ramen chef on his tail demanding past bills to be paid, and Jiraiya fleeing in the opposite direction from a pack of angry women with a camera in hand, Shizune sighed, and shook her head with an amused smile.

"There is never a dull day in Konoha." She whispered.

A few minutes later Sasuke stumbled out of the bathroom, making sure to keep a firm grip on his towel. After that traumatic incident Sakura had ran off somewhere else in the apartment, and hopefully not in his closet or underneath his bed.

Unlike her sixteen year old self, mini Sakura didn't know the meaning of knocking or privacy.

Sasuke could not believe she had seen that, or that he had actually screamed because of it. This was the first time, since he learned to bathe himself as a child, that anyone – especially the opposite sex, had seen him fully naked. It was embarrassing, and he probably scarred her for life. He could only hope there had been enough fog to conceal the majority of his body.

Walking past the living room, Sasuke caught Sakura talking to the stray cat he somewhat adopted since it wouldn't leave him alone. He would've just left her there talking to the feline before he caught part of the conversation.

"But his thingy was so small, Mr. Cat."

Small?

Sasuke froze. He could care less about his look other than hygiene wise, but it was a matter of male pride, and ego – which he had more than his share from genetics, that being called "small" was not something any man wanted to be described as.

His cheeks burning with anger, and embarrassment, Sasuke merely scoffed underneath his breath. What did she know anyways? She was a kid.

A pintsize annoying kid, that shouldn't be so knowledgeable about certain areas on the male anatomy, and then blabbing it to some strange cat. Clearly that moment when the hokage pulled him aside to give books on child care was probably the very moment she sneaked a peek at one of Kakashi's dirty books or was somehow got informed because of her irritating form of twenty- twenty questions. That or she was remembering something from her grown up self. But why of all things would she remember that?

All he knew was he wasn't small. Period.

"I mean he's nothing like the horse in Kaka-sensei's picture book. And what was that lady doing with him anyhow?"

Horse.

Lady.

The pieces were falling into place quickly, and hopefully with her six year old mind she wouldn't be able to put two, and two together like the Uchiha just did. Otherwise things would get awkward. And he was certainly not going to inform her about the 'wonderful' tales of the birds, and the bees.

Sakura blinked curiously at the silent feline who peered back at her with a blank, but adorable expression. "I don't know either, Mr. Cat. We'll just ask Sasuke Daddy later."

He knew it. He knew it. He was going to kill Kakashi. Or better yet, burn his dirty "picture books".

Sasuke left her alone with the cat, and tried to ignore the fact that she was talking about his body, and trying to figure out the mysteries behind Kakashi's collection of dirty pictures. When he came back, the person he least expected was there talking to the inquisitive child.

Upcoming Chapter: Sleep With Me

Lost in his thoughts he never saw the spoon coming until it was forced into his mouth by the mischief pink haired child. Once it was in, Sasuke was forced back into reality in one of the cruelest manners. There was no time for preparation. Sasuke made a face, the color of his complexion turned bright green, but he swallowed.

Watching Sakura skipping happily to the sink, and getting on her tippy-toes to put the plate on the counter, Sasuke could only glare at her back trying not to break his chopsticks in half.

This girl, this annoying little girl, was going to be the end of him.