6 Quickening, 1002
Dearest Mum,
It's me again, your son Neville. Bizzy is being kind enough to write this for me again and I hope you could read his writing in my last letter because he doesn't seem to have improved much in this one. I was introduced to another Talking Animal just like him named Bizmy, only she was a girl, so I suppose Opossums really are real. - That was me! - It's been a while, but some very interesting things happened since my last letter, so I'll tell you about them.
I think I'm going to like being a guard very well. There's lots of food (I'm the only one in the barracks besides a Wolverine that likes to eat the chicken bones, so there's plenty for us both) and Meep got me to try some cheese. I don't know if I like it, so I'll keep trying until I'm sure, but I did try something called an apple tart that was very tasty, and I learned that Mice shouldn't be allowed to drink beer before we have to go to sleep. I have a comfortable bed and some very good officers and good friends plus Bizzy to write for me, so I think living at Cair Paravel and guarding it will be a good life for me.
Kanell assigned me and Meep to the officers that protect Queen Susan. According to him everyone that guards the royal family starts out guarding the queens because the kings get into so much trouble they need the most experienced people watching over them to make sure they don't do anything rash or get magicked or attacked or wander close to still waters. I was very excited because I've never seen a Human before and Meep was excited because we were given some responsibility, which I suppose is a good thing. -Aslan preserve us and our good queen.
I was very surprised when I first saw the kings and queens because they were much smaller than I expected. The queens smelled like flowers and the kings both smelled like sausages because they had just finished breakfast and now were walking to their classes. That surprised me because I thought kings and queens would know everything. – Why am I not surprised? - But they don't, at least not yet.
They all walked like the Dryads that live in the grove across the river from our cave, on two feet, and the queens wore long gowns like the Dryads do, only brighter. They didn't have hooves or paws, but both kings wore boots. I suppose if you stretched a young Dwarf out to be twice their height and took off the beard and the scowl and made them laugh, you'd have an idea of what the kings look like. I don't suppose that's a good comparison – You suppose correctly – but they're more like Dwarfs than they're like Meep or any of our Mongoose cousins.
Queen Susan and King Edmund both have very dark hair like our stripes and Queen Lucy's hair looks like a red fox and King Peter, who's the largest of them but still not very large, has yellow hair like thatch (I mean the color, I don't think his hair is made of grass).
Even though they all seemed very nice, the younger king and queens were miffed at King Peter and they were yelling at him, which surprised me because I didn't think anyone would yell at a king, but I suppose kings and queens and Humans can all yell at each other if they want. I listened in because Captain Kanell told me to pay attention and listen. They were mad because King Peter had given the Chamberlain of the Court, Sir Giles Fox, a month's leave to visit his wife's family in the swamps by the Southern Marches and he hadn't thought to find someone to take over the chamberlain's duties. I even remember what they said, so I'll tell you. - Eavesdropper!
'Peter,' King Edmund said, and I suppose it's normal for a king not to call a king 'king' all the time, 'exactly who is going to take over while Sir Giles is gone?'
I think King Peter must have been embarrassed or possibly sick from so many sausages, because his face turned reddish and he said, 'I'll find someone, Ed. How hard can it be?'
'It's you, Peter,' King Edmund said back, and he shook his head. 'How easy can it be?'
That must have been a joke, because Queen Lucy giggled and Queen Susan hid a smile. I had to fight to keep from laughing, too, because Queen Lucy has a laugh like Auntie Swindie where she makes you want to laugh along with her. King Peter made a face I couldn't figure out. Maybe Meep can read Human expressions better than me, but I think the High King was annoyed. Very annoyed. I suppose they didn't think he could find a replacement for Sir Giles. I don't know exactly what a Chamberlain of the Court does, but any job with such a long title must be important. Since this is the High King I have to wonder how hard it will be for him to find someone to do the job just as well.
'I will find us a temporary chamberlain,' King Peter promised, sounding very determined.
'Where will you look?' asked Queen Susan.
King Peter sighed and said, 'I have no idea.'
The other king and queens shook their heads and sighed even louder, and I think that just annoyed King Peter. He put his hands on his hips and said again, 'I will find us a temporary chamberlain.'
'It's what you'll find that frightens me,' King Edmund said, and the conversation ended in a hearty glare from King Peter.
I must leave off here, Mum. I have to get down to the training grounds and train. We do that every day. Meep sends his regards. – As do I, O most patient of ladies.
Love from your son,
Neville