Armadilloi's Undisciplined vs The Nightmare

by jaytoyz

This is classic Armadilloi AU. Chuck and Sarah. Part one. I think Jim wouldn't mind this being shared. No clones or space aliens. I'll eventually move this to APR's account.I know there's at least three parts and I hope to post the rest if its wanted.JT

2. Chapter 2

P/N: Chapter 2…a big thank you to gtpse for sending me the file that makes posting this possible. The actual title was 'Undisciplined Intersect Reloaded' and I'll correct it when I finally post it on Jim's page. I'll also attempt to find the original post date so it can be included. Any one who has any of APR's stuff that isn't listed on his page, I'd love to hear from you. You can contact me using my author name and sending stuff to that yahoo place. JT

Armadilloi's Undisciplined vs. The Nightmare – Chapter 2

Los Angeles NSA Teleconference Center

General Beckman looked at Sarah Walker, Ellie Bartowski and John Casey.

"She said what?"

"Do you still have that naughty little iridescent lime green bikini? Do you still hate olives on your pizza? And now do you believe him when he tells you bad things happen when he stays in the damned truck?"

John Casey covered a laugh with his hand and a fake cough. He believed whoever told Sarah that either knew or, fantastical as it might be to believe, knows Chuck Bartowski. He'd told Casey about the bikini. Very interesting.

"Miss Walker, I have run a check on this Ahn-Zhu person. She entered the US in 1959 as a political refugee from Tibet. She remained here until she returned in 2009. That's 50 years, Sarah. And her age on her application for political asylum was 60 years old. And our records further show that an Ahn-Zhu attended UCLA Medical School in 1943 and graduated with honors and returned to Tibet via China to aid in the recovery."

"Either she's remarkably well preserved or something is amiss with our records. Here is a photograph of her that was found in the INS records dating from 1959. She doesn't look a day over 40."

"Do you think it's a hoax? A Fulcrum set up? She knew what she said would convince me he was alive. No one else knew about the olives. No one. And the smart-assed way he bitched about the truck? That was pure Chuck."

"What about the naughty bikini, Miss Walker?"

"It was the only time I ever wore it. I bought it and wore it for him. To impress him. I wanted him to know I was a woman as well as an agent." Beckman tried not to smile.

"And all she said before she hung up was "Come to Lhasa and Road's End and you'll be met."

"Fine. Here's what I propose and Director Graham agrees. We need him back in the field. He's our best weapon against Fulcrum. And he's a formidable opponent, he's shown that. That video… incredible."

"You three have been issued diplomatic passports under the cover of fiancé, doctor and body guard. You are going in search of an extreme sports aficionado who disappeared while solo climbing in the Himalayas and who is the wayward son of an important American Senator. You've been informed that a man matching his description is in a village outside Lhasa. You are going to determine if it's the Senator's missing son and return with him to the United States. The Chinese are willing to accept a small party for just that purpose."

"If it's Bartowski, bring him home, Sarah. You'll have a passport with his bio and information with the appropriate entry and exit stamps to enable you to bring him out. Your plane leaves tomorrow evening for Lhasa and an appropriate wardrobe has been selected and delivered to your respective hotel rooms. Get plenty of rest. The journey from Lhasa to Road's End is by bus, pony cart and then by pony. Once you arrive at Road's End, you're on your own."

Tibet1 week later

It took them 3 days to get to Lhasa. It was not a major metropolitan destination, especially in the winter. They flew to Paris, then to Istanbul and later that week caught the Chinese State airlines flight to Lhasa.

After resting for a day to acclimate themselves to the temperature difference and altitude change, they boarded the bus for the first leg of their trip to Road's End. The Tibetan Plateau is an arid and rocky high desert surrounded by highest mountains in the world, the Himalayas. After a while the scenery became monotonous and they tried to sleep through the rough ride. The high altitude tended to sap their strength since it seemed every breath required an effort.

The paved road ended in a small town with an unpronounceable name. The Chinese government had graciously provided a guide and cart drivers for the pony cart leg of the trip. They slept beside the dirt track in tents and Ellie suffered horribly from the cold. Finally, John told her to strip down to her basics and crawl in with him. She was embarrassed but at least she was warm. The two nights they slept beside the cart path she shared Casey's sleeping bag. It was an arrangement that worked.

Sarah lay in her sleeping bag, her mind mulling over what they knew. Chuck died in San Diego and somehow was alive (she hoped and prayed to a God she could not longer believe in) on the other side of the world if his teacher was to be believed. She was amazed that Beckman and Graham had accepted such a way-out proposal on a situation that was, on its face, done with when the empty coffin was laid to rest in a cemetery under a tombstone with the name 'Bartowski' inscribed on it. Things must really be desperate if this was an example of the lengths to which they'd go to have the intersect back.

She lay on her back looking at the stars. There was no light pollution out here and the atmosphere was thinner so there were stars in the sky than she'd ever seen or imagined. She wished Chuck was here to explain to her why it was so. She missed his simple but in depth explanations. 'I miss him. I miss my Paladin so much.'

End of the Road (literally)

The next day they reached the End of the Road, literally. The town was not named, of course, the End of the Road. It had a name you had to swallow and click and stress your voice to tonal combinations not found in English, so they just called it End of the Road.

They found the one and only 'inn' and got two rooms and spent a day recovering from the swaying and rocking of their pony cart leg of the trip. Sarah and Ellie avoided any discussion of 'what if it isn't him' as well as 'what if it is him'. If he was alive then her worldview would be radically altered and all her 'facts' would require reexamination. If it was a hoax, someone or some ones were going to die, most horribly.

The next morning over a breakfast of hardboiled eggs and cheese from an animal they all knew they'd rather not know about, they discussed their next step. They were waiting to be met by a guide or someone who would take them to their next destination.

A small man with a huge grin came into the inn and saw the travelers and approached them and handed John Casey a note.

Major Casey, this man is your guide to our village. Please go with him. We shall see you in three days if the weather holds.

~ Ahn-Zhu

"Well, girls, let's pack it up. We have three days travel ahead of us if the note is correct. He handed the note to Sarah who read it with Ellie looking over her shoulder.

Casey almost laughed when he saw the 'ponies'. Their guide helped the women mount and showed them how to hold the reins and turn and stop their mounts. Casey watched and snorted. He pointed to the horse and then to himself and his long legs. The guide laughed and pointed to the pony and made 'get on it, you stupid foreigner' motions with his hands.

When he approached his pony it turned around, looked at him, then at the guide and Casey would swear until he died that the horse just sighed and shook his head. The final indignity was when Casey was walking around behind the beast and it raised its tail and farted at him.

The guide laughed then walked up to the pony, took an ear in each hand and proceeded to harangue the poor beast until it almost looked ashamed. It looked at Casey and sighed and then trotted over to him and stopped. John Casey mounted and was surprised when his feet didn't touch the ground. The horse nimbly set out for their destination following the other three.

Himalaya MountainsTibet

They spent their first night in a mountain hostel provided by the government for travelers and climbing expeditions. The temperature plunged and the guide brought the animals in and tied them in a stable area near the sleepers. Between the horses' heat and the charcoal brazier the temperature in the hostel never dipped below freezing.

Sarah watched as Ellie Bartowski huddled against John Casey. Casey had no qualms about wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight to keep her warm. From the smile on Ellie's face, she liked being held by a man she both trusted and respected. There had been a lot of quiet conversations between those two and tonight Sarah turned her back on them as Ellie wriggled around in the cage of his arms and kissed him. Sarah was glad her 'sis' had found someone.

Now if only she could be as fortunate.

Their second night was spent on the trail in the lee of the wind in a natural depression that was surrounded by large boulders. They pitched their tents and when Ellie went to join Sarah, John took her hand and led her to his tent. Sarah giggled as she imagined the warm blooded Ellie dealing with the cold-blooded NSA agent. She noticed that the guide had pitched a lean-to and had the horses under cover but was nervously fingering a wicked blade he hadn't had when the journey had started.

They awoke to find almost 2 feet of new snow covering the trail. They broke camp and started down the icy slope towards what they could see was a large lake in the distance. When Casey tried to ask the guide 'how long' in sign language the guide pointed to the rising sun and then to where it would set. Apparently it was going to be an all day ride to the village.

Shortly after noon Casey noticed that their guide seemed to be urging the ponies on and looking over his shoulder at ominous-looking overcast with clouds racing across the sky. He was obviously concerned with the weather and with their location. He carried this long blade openly now.

The altitude was beginning to get to Ellie and she tended to nod off so Casey walked beside her pony, steadying her so she didn't fall.

It started to snow and the wind began to pick up until it was too difficult to go on. They pitched camp and hunkered down to wait out the storm. Sarah slept fitfully, impatient with the delays and also fearful of what lay ahead for them. Was it really Chuck? Would he remember her? 'Idiot! He remembered the bikini, the pizza and also bitched you out for making him stay in the truck. Of course he remembered you.'

It was daylight and the sun had just peeked over the eastern peaks and flooded the pass they were in with sunlight when she awoke. The guide was again pointing to the clouds scudding over the peaks behind them and pointed down the trail to the beginnings of the tree line.

It took most of the day to reach the lakeshore and it was almost mid afternoon when they reached the walled village. The weary travelers entered and the gates were closed behind them. Casey was suddenly on the alert. Their guide waved goodbye and led the string of ponies towards a stable and the three Americans just stood there, unsure of what to do.

Unnamed walled village

A small figure dressed in heavily padded jacket and pants came towards them out of the shadows.

"Welcome. I am Ahn-Zhu. You are tired and one among you is truly anxious to see someone thought lost but now found. Please follow me. We have quarters prepared for you and after you have eaten and rested, I shall explain all that has happened, at least as best I can. And then, Sarah Walker, I will take you to my Undisciplined Scholar.

They entered a courtyard and climbed up a flight of stone steps onto a verandah that served as entry to a small series of rooms. It was warm and braziers and candles provided light and warmth.

After a light meal and warm chai, Ahn-Zhu turned to Ellie Bartowski and re-introduced herself. "We met at Stanford when Charles left. He came to my shop to say goodbye. Have you completed your studies? Are you now Dr. Eleanor Faye Bartowski?"

"Yes, I'm finishing up my general residency. Is it true you graduated from UCLA in 1943? In Medicine?"

"Yes. Those were difficult times here. The Japanese still occupied the homelands and getting back into Tibet took time. And then a few years after that, the Chinese annexed Tibet and I returned to the States."

Ellie took a good look at the woman claiming to be Ahn-Zhu and then gasped.

"Yes, I have aged a bit. Still and all, very sprightly for my age, don't you think?" She knew what she was thinking. 'How can she be Ahn-Zhu and not have aged a day?'

"The Disciplines serve us well. Our diet, environment and our beliefs combine to enhance our lives and provide longevity. And now, Agent Sarah Walker of the United States Central Intelligence Agency, let me explain what I believe has 'gone down' as you would say."

"It's just Sarah Walker. After Chuck died, I resigned. I now work for another agency, just not in a field capacity. But please, please, continue your explanation."

"'After Chuck died.' An interesting choice of words, Sarah Walker. Yes, he died. And he didn't. He left there and came here. You know how. You have traveled some yourself. He simply came on a much, much longer journey. I remember once when he was very young he came here and returned. He was almost frozen solid, and I called him a 'chicken in a freezer'. You can imagine our surprise when the chicken came home here, to roost. No one has made the journey through our mountain pass in almost a thousand years."

The Americans looked at each other and Casey said "No one came from Road's End to here on the pony trail? Why not?" Casey was looking back at the path they'd taken.

"No, Major Casey, not that pass, that pass." She pointed to a gap between two of the highest mountains in the range almost encircling the lake and village.

Casey followed her gaze and whistled. "That must be 16 or 18,000 feet and then he'd need to cross the glacier. I can see why they take the Road's End pass."

"22,224 feet, to be exact. And yet he came through it, across the glacier with that damned ice axe of his and then into the trees where he was found, hurt, cold and nearly comatose. The woodcutters brought him here."

"We treated him as best we could and it was nearly a full month before he was strong enough to speak. He didn't recognize me and had no memory of his journey. That was a blessing considering how badly your world had treated him. His injuries were certainly fatal but the cold kept him from 'bleeding out' as you would say. Still, it was a very close thing for my Undisciplined Scholar. Very close." Sarah could tell from the look on Ellie's face that what the woman said was true.

"Thank you so much for helping him. He is very special to all of us."

"Yes, he is a very special man, Sarah Walker. And now, I will take you to him. He is very impatient. After a time, I shall come back for you two and you may see him."

Ellie bridled at being told she couldn't see her brother. Casey just sat there wondering what they hadn't been told. He turned to Ellie and whispered, "Bide your time, Doc, she lost him, let her find him first." He squeezed her hand reassuringly and then smiled at Sarah. "Go ahead. We'll just sit here and watch the scenery. 22,000 feet without oxygen. Amazing."

Sarah smiled as she noticed Ellie hadn't let go of his hand but pulled it into her lap and held it in both of her much smaller ones.

A man sat on a bench on the verandah watching as the terminator line of the setting sun raced across the face of the glacier as another day died. He closed his eyes against the glare of the sun on the lake. They were still very sensitive to bright light. Ahn-Zhu told him it would take time to be fully healed but he was impatient to return to his life and his Sarah. He had no idea how he was going to get back. And he was afraid that she'd moved on, forgotten him and found another to take his place. Each time he tried to talk with Ahn-Zhu about leaving she simply did something that proved he was not ready.

"When you can see with your eyes what you can see with your heart, then and only then, will you be ready to leave."

He was sitting in a lotus position, one hand drawn into his robe, the other balanced on his right knee. He knew he'd probably need help straightening out his legs and wondered if this was another one of Ahn-Zhu's horrible examples of 'you're not ready yet'.

Ahn-Zhu led Sarah to the verandah and put a finger to her lips. She smiled and shooed Sarah in and then left them to themselves.

Chuck let out a loud sigh of frustration. Without a doubt it was another one of her damned 'you're not ready yet' examples.

Sarah's heart was in her throat. Her hands were trembling and she couldn't take a step forward. She was afraid of what she'd find. What if it wasn't him? What if it was?

She finally walked the 15 feet to the bench and stood behind him. He needed a haircut. And there were gray streaks at each temple. It wasn't him. His hair was dark and curly. This man's was long with gray sprinkled throughout and streaks at the temple. Still, she had to know. She had to be sure.

She put her hands on his shoulders and closed her eyes and began running them across and up to his neck and across his cheeks. Then she leaned down and ran her palms across his chest and brought her cheek to his ear. He felt so familiar.

He reached up and grabbed her hand and flung it from him. "Damn it, Ahn-Zhu, I told you a hundred times, no. I am hers. I am her Paladin. I will find a way back to her even if I have to crawl up to that damned pass. I am hers." His voice sounded like him. His tone sounded like him. His tenor and cadence sounded like him.

Chuck tried to stand but his legs were stuck in the damned lotus. He wasn't as limber as he'd been at 20 and the past months had done little to restore his muscle tone. Still and all, he was much better than when they'd brought him to her on the litter.

She had to know. She walked around and stood in front of him. He looked up but she was between him and the low afternoon sun and he couldn't see her face, just her form. His eyesight was returning slowly. Ahn-Zhu had told him the eyes were always the most difficult.

He struggled to get up but he couldn't move his legs. They were locked in a position 'unnatural' to him. Damn her and her 'you're not ready' examples.

Sarah took note of the man before her. He'd lost his legs and one arm, probably to frostbite. He was having problems seeing or he simply did not recognize her. His face was lined and weathered and she could see his eyes were brimmed with tears of pain and frustration.

"Chuck, is it really you, my Paladin?" she whispered. She reached out a hand and ran her fingertips down his cheek. He couldn't make out her face and he didn't recognize her whispered voice.

"Who are you? Do I know you? How do you know my name? Please, I can't see you."

He should have said that he couldn't see her because of the glare of the sun behind her but he didn't think it mattered.

"Oh, Chuck…" She started to cry. He was blind.

She sat down beside him and put her arm around him and put her head on his shoulder and wept silently.

"Vanilla. I smell vanilla in your hair, Sarah. You still use the same shampoo. I've missed you, Sarah. I'm so sorry for all this. I know I broke my promise but…"

"Shhh. It's all right. We came to take you home, Chuck. Casey, Ellie and I are taking you home, my darling man. Don't worry. I'll take care of you. It doesn't matter at all. I'm just so glad you're alive, Chuck."

"But how did you know where to find me? It's not exactly a vacation spot, is it?"

"Your teacher called us. Ellie and I. We live together in your old apartment. After you died I… oh, I'm sorry, Chuck, it's just that this is all so much to handle all at once, sweetheart. I'm so sorry but we'll be OK and I'll take care of you, Chuck. I have a job with the NSA now, no field work but it keeps me involved with your old team, Chuck."

"Good. I don't want my wife running around getting shot at. It's bad enough I'll be running around being shot at. I'll need a refresher for the intersect, Sarah. I got old and moldy data." He laughed.

She tightened her grip on him. 'Wife?' Her heart soared but then plunged when he said 'I'll be running…'

"Chuck, wife?" She wanted to hear him say it again. Just to be sure she wasn't imagining things.

"Yes. I was hoping after I got back on my feet that you would consider, um, maybe, um, aw, hell, Sarah. I love you and you love me, and don't you want to spend our lives together, however long we have left?"

'…If I have to crawl …running around…back on my feet…'

It was just too much for her to handle in such a brief period of time. Crying, she ran back into the house, calling for Ellie, her heart breaking for him.

'Well, that went well, Chuck. I guess marriage is not a Sarah thing. She wants to take care of me but not marry me? What's wrong with this picture.'

He thought back to a remark she'd made not long before he'd… gone away. In her hotel room in Burbank. 'I'm taking care of you. It's my job, Chuck.'

Casey went to talk to Chuck while Ellie tried to calm down a blubbering Sarah Walker. She told them he'd been so brave and was ignoring his blindness and his other handicaps and that he would be back on his own two feet again and how he was going to crawl home if necessary. It made no sense to Casey.

"Hey, Chuck, it's Casey." 'Oh, shit. No legs, one arm and blind. No wonder she's freaking out.'

"Casey, how are you? I see Sarah's a little emotional. I guess when someone says 'Hi, I'm back from the dead, marry me' it tends to freak them out. So, how have you been?"

'Why do they insist on standing there? I can't see a damned thing because of the glare.'

They talked for about 20 minutes and then Chuck started rubbing his knees. 'Phantom pains,' thought Casey. He knew enough amps in his time to know what Chuck was going through. He decided it was time for Ellie to come talk to her brother whether Walker was calm or not.

'I'm back from the dead, marry me? Chuck, you got style.'

"Ellie, go to Chuck. I'll take Sarah for a little walk. Set her straight on a couple of things. Go easy on him, Ellie. He's got phantom leg pains. Severe ones. The ones that almost never go totally away."

That comment set Sarah off again. Ellie just glared at him. Casey shook his head. Women were a mystery to him. Always had been, always would be.

"Sarah, come take a walk with me. The fresh air will do you good."

"Hey, little brother, long time, no see." She wanted to run to him and just hold him but knew it would not be appreciated.

"Hey, Ellie. How's things? Good to see you, too. I heard you and Sarah are roommates? Nothing going on there I need to worry about, is there?" He was joking. Maybe.

She winced. 'Good to see you, too. Oh, Chuck.'

"Chuck, Devon and I split up, permanently. And yes, it was over Sarah, sort of. It's complicated, little brother. So, legs bothering you?"

"Yeah, a bit. Better than when I first got here. I was a real mess. Don't walk across a glacier naked. Hell on the feet. OK, sis, cut to the chase. What's going on here? You guys slip in here, one by one, talk a bit then walk out. Well, OK, Sarah ran but you know what I mean. Is it that bad that I'm back? Should I have just let go in the meat packing plant? I wasn't ready to let go, Ellie. Now I'm wondering if I made a mistake."

"Do – do- you really mean that, Chuck? A mistake to be alive?" She was appalled at the thought of her brother being dead.

"Would have made life a lot easier for all of you. Especially Sarah. And, I guess you too now, huh? But then again, it's complicated, isn't it, Ellie? I'll be able to see soon, and walk, too. I don't need to be taken care of, either, Ellie."

"I'm 28 years old and I have things to do with my life so you and Sarah are officially off the hook. Seems like Casey is the only one without an agenda here. All I wanted to do was go home, Ellie, that's all, just go home. Now I don't think that's an option any more. Eleanor, I'm tired. Would one of you please find Ahn-Zhu? I'll need her help to get back to my quarters. It was good seeing you again."

Ellie was stunned by his summary dismissal. They'd come all this way and now he was just going to ignore them, worse, hope they'd just go away?

"Chuck, what the hell is wrong with you? We came all this way in planes, a bus, a damned pony cart and finally a damned pony and that's all you have to say? 'It was good seeing you again' when you're frikkin' blind and crippled?"

"And how are you going to get home by yourself? Beg for alms in airports like some crippled blind beggar? We came to take you home with us, damn it, and that's exactly what we're going to do. So you just pack your shit and be ready in the morning. And you will…"

"Be silent, Eleanor Bartowski. This is my house and you will not brow beat my Scholar. Indeed, he does not need taken care of. He has almost regained his sight although looking at you in the glare of the sun on the lake that is producing a strain that you would see if you really looked at your brother instead of berating him for his independent streak. It was that streak that kept him alive and sane."

"He is not a cripple, my Scholar, he is a strong and courageous man who I would keep here for eternity if I could. But as I once told him, his destiny is not in my world but in yours. Your companions are looking for you, Dr. Bartowski. Perhaps you should join them. He needs a treatment and rest. We shall see you at dinner."

She signaled two men who came in and picked Chuck up and sat him on a litter and carried down the steps and out the main door.

Garden Path

While Ellie was confronting Chuck, Casey and Sarah were walking around the exterior gardens of the home.

"Casey, I just panicked. He asked me to marry him and I – I – I froze. He's the same man he was before I went to Paris, just a little banged up. I can live with that. When I first went to him I put my arms around him and he thought I was that woman. He practically threw me across the room getting my arms off him and he said he belonged to me and that he'd told her that a hundred times before. He said he'd crawl home if necessary."

"That sounds like a Chuckism. Crawling home. He looks older though, wrinkles, gray hair in places. He's been through a lot. More than we can imagine. Sarah, at 22,000 feet your mind begins to die from lack of oxygen. Can you imagine the pain he went through to reach the tree line? He says he'll get his sight back. I believe him. Hell, after what I've seen, I believe he can do any damned thing in the world."

"Casey, I need to talk to him in a more comfortable environment where he's not in such pain. I just want him to know how much I love him and need him. I've got a second chance that no one's had before. I will marry him if that's what he wants. I need him too much to put conditions on him."

"Walker, you have to want to marry him. It's not a duty or obligation. If Chuck even suspects that's how you feel, well, you'll never get a 3rd chance. He doesn't want or need pity. And that's what it sound like you're doing, to me. Pitying him."

"When do you think he'll be ready to come home, Casey?"

"Don't have a clue. We'll ask Ellie and Ahn-Zhu for recommendations. I sure don't want to have to put him on one of those ponies. Not in his condition. That would be hell on earth for him."

"I'll carry him if I have to. I'm taking him home and he's never leaving my side again. I've got money. We'll go someplace and get lost. He's all I have left."

The three met in the dining area where they'd first spoken with Ahn-Zhu. Ellie was angry and ashamed, not a good combination.

"She said he's getting his sight back but that we were standing between him and the sun and the glare was killing him. She also told me to quit browbeating my brother and that she wanted to keep him with here for eternity but his destiny was outside, not here."

"Sarah, Chuck told me he's having 2nd thoughts about having made the trip through the pass. I told him Devon and I split and he guessed it had something to do with you. When I tried to explain he cut me off and said, 'yeah, I know, it's complicated'. He's thinking about staying here. He said all he wanted to do was go home and now it's not an option.

What are we going to do, Sarah?"

"Dr. Bartowski, perhaps you can start by not calling him a blind cripple. He is neither. As I explained, each of you stood in front of him. The glare of the sun off the lake blinded him and caused him great pain. He is still asleep after his treatment and bath. His eyes and legs ache horribly. Why didn't any of you help him to his feet? He was obviously in severe pain. Are you all ignorant savages?"

"But he lost his legs and an arm. And we thought the pain was a phantom limb pain. No one wanted to draw attention to his disability."

Ahn-Zhu snorted. "And you call yourself a physician. Observe the patient's demeanor. Ask questions and listen to the answers and listen to what is not said as well. Do they not teach these skills any longer?"

"He was meditating when you three arrived. His sleep has been very troubled by images and dreams he will not discuss, not in the 4 months he's been able to speak coherently. He was in a high lotus position and he could not escape it. I believe he wished to spare all concerned the embarrassment of helping him. His pride will be his undoing, that one."

"You mean he can walk? Stand?" Sarah was almost in tears. She folded her hands to control their trembling. She knew about dreams and about how susceptible he was to those involving the death of a loved one.

"Of course. He has worked hard to stand and now to walk. It is not an easy thing relearning skills as an adult you naturally developed as an infant. Now, he thinks, Dr. Bartowski, that your estrangement from your fiancé and your comments regarding Agent, excuse me, Miss Walker, being at least part of the cause, well, women have loved women throughout history."

"What? He thinks what? Why? Ellie, what ever did you say to him? He thinks we're, I mean, shit. And he thinks my reaction to his proposal was because I'm in love with his sister? Oh, God, we have got to learn to communicate better."

Ahn-Zhu laughed. "Indeed. It seems only Major Casey treated him as if he were a person, not a cripple or someone less than a man. You spent more time with him than his, than either of these two. What is your impression?"

"He's Chuck. Looks a little older, weary, obviously stressed, but his mind is still as sharp and swift as always. And yes, he still assumes too much based upon too little, but then he wouldn't be Chuck if he didn't. He's still irreverent, truculent and opinionated. But he's more of a man now than before. He's changed, and I like this new model better, although the older one was my friend. I believe he can do whatever he sets his mind to."

"Yes, Major, all that is true. And he's very resentful right now of being treated like a child when he's so obviously not one. He is a warrior at heart, reluctantly. In fact, 'reluctant' is a good way to describe my Undisciplined Scholar. He is reluctant to claim what is his, he is reluctant to harm others, he is reluctant to give offense and he is reluctant to be a burden on those he loves. But he is never reluctant to sacrifice his own happiness for that of others. You should all remember that. You have all seen enough proof of it. And you two, sister and lover, have already benefited from it. Why, I don't know."

"He will not be here this evening. His treatment has exhausted him. He tries too much too soon. He is impatient. And he has paid the price. He will sleep through the night but one of you must be there to interrupt the dreams. You will know when he dreams."

"How, Ahn-Zhu?"

"He screams."

Chuck's Quarters

The room was small as was the bed. There were no windows and the charcoal brazier was near the open door for ventilation. He slept naked, on his side, under a thick woolen blanket and an underblanket of some incredibly soft material.

Sarah took off her clothes, pulled her hair into a ponytail and slipped into bed behind him. When she picked up the blankets she saw the patchwork of scars and scar tissue caused by Thorne's whipping. She ran a fingertip along the keloid scars and found it hard to believe one human being could do this to another.

She scooted as close to him as she could, pushed a thigh between his and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his shoulder. With a deep sigh of satisfaction she slept.

Sarah Walker was awakened by the scream of a human being in mortal agony. Chuck's back was bent like a bow and his mouth was open in a now silent scream. She saw the muscles in his back clenching and twisting in a hideous replay of his torture. Not knowing what else to do she rolled him onto his back and lay on him, whispering that she was there, he was safe, no one could hurt him again and that he'd killed the scum that had tortured him. She kept whispering her mantra "Chuck, I'm here, you're safe, we're safe, I love you, my Paladin" until he seemed to calm down and fall into a fitful sleep.

She looked around the room and found a bowl of water, a sponge and a towel and knew that someone else had performed this duty every night since he's come to this place. She was grateful for that. No one should be alone with such dreams.

Sarah washed his sweaty body and toweled him dry and then lay beside him in the circle of his arms. "I love you, Sarah, always have, always will," was whispered in her ear and he kissed her cheek and then he fell back to sleep.

Sometime later she opened her blue eyes to be greeted by his brown eyes staring at her. "Why are you here, Sarah, I mean here, here, in this bed? It's OK, I know about Devon and Ellie and you. I figured it out from her comments and by what she wouldn't say. At least you have good taste in women." There was not a whiff of sarcasm in his tone. He really believed…

"Dumb ass. I'm not sleeping with Ellie. I moved in with her to be near you, well, your things. She insisted. Threatened me, ME, with bodily harm."

"I sleep in your bed, in your t-shirts and I love your sister, as a sister, nothing more. We have got to work on our communications skills if we're going to be married."

"I refuse to have any one-sided conversations and you better not zone out on me right now because you're bored or something. I know where that pass is now, Chuck, and I'll come up there and drag you ass back to me every time you 'drift off' there."

"And another thing, if you ever, ever, silently endure pain that I can help alleviate, I'll never forgive you. I, we, thought you were blind and that you had lost your legs and an arm and were having phantom limb pains. Not just me, the dumb blonde, but your dumb sister-the-doctor, and your dumb friend, the big oaf. And speaking of big oafs, I hope you really like him, Chuck, because he's going to be sleeping in the bedroom beside ours. He and Ellie, well, opposites do attract, you know?"

Chuck leaned over and kissed her, slowly putting as much of himself into it as he could. The only parts of their body touching one another were their lips. He was dreadfully out of practice but figured so was she. And practice makes perfect.

Her universe collapsed into an area encompassing their lips and nothing more. She had no body. She had only their lips and for now that was more than enough.

He broke the kiss and just stared at her. "Sarah, you need to leave now. Please. I have to prepare for another treatment. I'll see you shortly at breakfast. Explain all this to the others. I don't feel like another long confrontation with Eleanor. Casey's fine with it all. He accepted me when he thought I was a blind amputee so he'll be fine with me like this. I don't need a dose of EllieAngst this early in the morning. Scoot. I have to dress. I won't be long, I promise."

Ahn-Zhu helped Chuck into the dining area and seated him at the table. His left eye was covered with a gauze poultice and Ellie immediately went into full doctor mode but was stopped by a sharp comment from Chuck's teacher.

"It is an herbal application to aid in the healing of the sclerotic membrane, nothing more. He had severe scarring due to the cold. This should be his last treatment if all goes as it should."

"Cold? How cold?"

"Frozen solid, doctor, both eyes. But his right eye has responded more favorably than the left. A competent ophthalmologist will be needed when you return to the States for a total examination. I do not have all the instruments that are required."

Ellie looked at Sarah. Ellie's mouth was shaped like a big 'O'.

"Frozen solid? Oh, my, how did he find his way down from the pass?"

"We do not know. We can only thank the gods that he did or he would surely have perished from the cold."

Chuck had never told her about his 'help' and had no intention of doing so. He'd seen the hat made from a yeti pelt and would not repay a kindness with treachery. Apparently there had been a constant battle between the two races and he'd benefited from the kindness of one of their enemies.

"So Ahn-Zhu, when do you think he'll be ready to leave? We are obligated to return him as soon as possible. His talents are needed by his Agency and our government."

"Perhaps tomorrow if the weather holds. He will be terribly troubled by very cold temperatures for the rest of his life, I'm afraid. Especially those areas affected by the frost bite."

'Mexico then if we have to run. Or maybe Belize or Panama. It never snows in Belize or Panama. My husband will not suffer needlessly if I can help it,' thought Sarah, filing the information away for future reference. 'And if we don't have to run, a nice long honeymoon in Fiji; I have almost 3 months of accumulated paid leave and I can't think of a nicer spot for his convalescence.'

"HE is sitting right here, you know? And HE may have an opinion about his future employment. I think I want some time off to rebuild my strength. And for the honeymoon, of course. Wait, I'll need a lot of time to rebuild my strength for the honeymoon and then for the honeymoon itself, and then for the damned government."

There were grins around the table. This was definitely Chuck Bartowski, no doubt remained.

Later that night when Ahn-Zhu and Chuck had left for his final treatment, John Casey took Sarah aside.

"Partner, what do you think? Should we wait a few more days and hope it gets warmer or chance the pass and hurry him home? I have my own thoughts but I want to hear yours. You've seen him, physically, more than the rest of us. What do you think?"

"John, his back looks like someone took spaghetti and threw it all over. The scars are horrible and I could just cry every time I see them because I wasn't there to protect him. I know, he stayed in the truck, but still, I feel so guilty. And proud. He really took it to those Fulcrum bastards. I think my favorite part is when you opened the door and there they were, corpsicles. Well, favorite sounds terrible, but you know what I mean."

"Yeah, and I was there. The amount of blood on the floor and on the walls, Sarah, he was running low, almost to the point of being dead and yet he showed such courage and determination. Everyone in the agency should have to watch that damned video when they start bitching about their scratches and bruises."

"What about him on a pony? Possible? And should we plan on more time because he'll tire easily? And what about the cold? More nights on the trail mean more cold exposure. We should probably ask Ahn-Zhu for advice on that. We'll need more rations for the trip also. And probably some of those herbal ointments for his treatments."

"My concern is when we get stateside. You know they're going to want him under a microscope before they let him loose on the population. I've been in government service too long to believe that their concerns are 'humanitarian'. They wouldn't have authorized the funds unless they figured on getting a payback. Know what I mean?"

"Then maybe we ought to split up in say, Paris, and you and Ellie go on and Chuck and I stay behind until we hear just how his reception is planned. I trust Beckman but not the rest of the government. Back from the dead? Cool, let's experiment. OK, we'll split up. I'll need to draw on some 'special funds' I've got squirreled away. If we have to run, I have a few places in mind already. Paris is a good launch point."

"Sounds like a plan. He's been through so much for his country I don't see why he should have to be put through more by his country. Maybe I'm old fashioned but that's how I feel."

"We're agreed then. You tell Ellie and I'll tell Chuck tonight. So, how are you and my 'girlfriend' getting along? You know what she really likes, Casey? When you run your…"

"Ack! Go away. It was an honest mistake on his part. But you do have good taste in women." He stood and walked off hurriedly, not wanting to hear any more of her suddenly Chuck-like humor. Well, she did have good taste in women.

Sarah was waiting for him when he returned from his treatment. He looked tired and worn. She helped him undress and noticed that he seemed extremely shy all of a sudden and it hit her like a sledgehammer what his problem was. She stripped and took him in her arms and just hugged him. He was thinner that she remembered, almost scrawny as opposed to the lithe, lanky physique she remembered. Note to self: lots of carbs and proteins.

"Sarah, please don't look at me. I feel so ugly and scarred. How can you look at me with that look in your eyes when this is what's become of me? I can't walk far, breathing is a labor, I can't see worth crap and I don't always remember what I was doing. Sometimes I think not all of me made the trip like that old monk I told you about. Sometimes I think something took a bite out of me, too."

"Come to bed, Chuck. I'll keep you warm and keep the dreams away. You'll never have to be afraid again, baby, never. As long as we're together and as long as you still love me, I'm happy and satisfied. You're not ugly. You bear the scars of a warrior who bested incredible odds and won. And you came here, the first in a thousand years. If I had to name you, I'd have called you Conan the Incredible, my Paladin."

Chuck started to laugh but it quickly changed to a hacking cough and he hung on to her for support. Finally it passed and she gave him some water and then pushed him gently down on the bed and cuddled up against him, her hand running little patterns across his chest.

In a small voice barely heard, she asked him about what he'd said to Ellie. "Honey, did you really mean what you said to Ellie or were you just angry and frustrated? Are you sorry you came through from the other side? Do you wish, oh Chuck, I've missed you so much. Everything reminded me of you. And I was so sad and angry that those scum had taken you away from me and robbed us of a life together. Please don't tell me you don't want to be with me anymore."

"You were the only reason I kept going and didn't just let go. It looked so warm and inviting and I just wanted to let go and let it take me but I kept hearing your voice and seeing your face and I turned away and kept going. I want our life together. I don't want to spend any time I don't have to away from you. Please don't be sad. I'm sorry I put you through all of that pain and sadness. I'd do anything to make it all go away but I can't."

"I saw your note you left me in the packing plant. It was so sweet of you. I kept a screen shot of it on my laptop. It kept me going many times when I wanted to give up. I'd say 'look what he did to keep his promise. Can I do less?"

"Let's sleep now, my gray-haired lover. The sooner you're strong, the sooner we can go kick some Fulcrum ass." She loved teasing him about his gray hair. His long gray hair.

"And the sooner I can show you things I didn't know I'd learned. Practical things, Sarah, like making you scream with pleasure and sigh with satisfaction. Oh, yes. I need to be strong and limber." He kissed the top of her head and then ran a finger down her spine, sending tendrils of warmth throughout her.

"Chuck, when we get to Paris, we're going our own way. Casey thinks the government wants to experiment and I won't let that happen. I have money in banks all over Europe and a couple of neat little seaside hideaways in Belize and Mexico. You'll be able to lie in the sand and soak up the sun and get healthy. And when you're ready, I'll show you just how much I've missed you."

"What about your girlfriend? Won't you miss her, Agent Walker?" Sarah lurched and looked to see if he was kidding or not but all she saw were serious brown eyes full of concern.

"Chuck, my 'girlfriend' is your sister and she's Casey's girlfriend just like I'm your girlfriend, remember?" She was terrified of the answer.

" OK, yeah." He seemed satisfied with the answer he gave.

"Chuck, do you know where you are?"

"We're in bed, Sarah."

"Where are we, who's house?"

"Ahn-Zhu, my teacher. And my nurse. And my friend. I'm tired, Sarah. Good night."

"She bit her lip to keep from crying. Something was wrong. Suddenly he seemed, out of reach.

"Chuck, will you be all right alone for a few minutes? I need to talk to your teacher, OK?"

"Sure. But put on clothes, Sarah. Your nakedness is very becoming, but not for the eyes of ought but me." He rolled over and went to sleep. What the hell? She got dressed and went in search of Ellie and Ahn-Zhu.

She knocked on Ellie's door, whispering for her. "Ellie, it's Sarah, we might have a problem with Chuck. Psst, Eleanor Bartowski, Chuck needs you!"

The door across the hall opened and a hastily dressed Ellie asked, "What's the matter with Chuck?" Sarah gave her a quick run-down and Ellie went into her room and grabbed her bag.

"Chuck, it's Sarah. Ellie's with me. Wake up, sleepy head. Ellie wants to look at something." He wasn't responding so Ellie gave him her world-famous ear pinch. No response.

They rolled him over onto his back. His eyes were half open and his heart was racing. "Sarah, go get Ahn-Zhu, quickly."

After a very few minutes, Sarah returned with Ahn-Zhu. "Did he seem child-like one moment and then very articulate the next? Was he having memory problems?"

"Don't be alarmed. His mind is catching up with his physical body. This was very common months ago, less so each passing day. In a year he should be fully recovered."

"A year? How often do these occur and how long do they last?"

"Only when he is very tired and in need of sleep. As he builds stamina, these episodes will become very rare and eventually disappear. Of course, the treatment text was more than 600 years old."

"And if they don't go away?" Sarah was concerned. He was only 30 and this appeared to be almost like Alzheimer's.

"Be thankful for the time you do have with him, Miss Walker. You might not have had even that." Sarah nodded, appreciating her blunt, no nonsense approach.

"Thank you. I treasure every moment since we arrived. It's like a miracle."

Ellie and Ahn-Zhu left together talking about possible problems and remedies. Sarah just got undressed and rolled in under the covers and held him, afraid if she closed her eyes he might disappear.

The dream hit sometime after she'd gotten into a deep sleep. She and Chuck were on the Stockton mission and they were caught in the containers and he left her behind telling her she wasn't able to follow him because she didn't believe in him specifically but them in general.

She woke in tears and he was holding her and whispering that he would never leave her behind and that he would die before abandoning her and that she was his life now, forever.

'If that isn't a declaration of true love and a marriage proposal all rolled into one… what a way with words,' she thought.

"Why, Sarah, a compliment? After you thought I had Alzheimer's? I love you, Sarah, so it's all good, no matter what. We'll fill each minute with hours and each hour with days and when our end comes, so will the end of time."

The hair stood up on the back of her neck and her eyes got large as she remembered what she'd thought. 'Oh shit, oh dear' as her lover would say. Oh, shit, indeed.

There were no other dreams that night that she could remember.

There were three inches of fresh snow in the courtyard the next morning and that meant at least twice that much in the pass. Ahn-Zhu told them that the true winter storms would begin any day now and that it was imperative that they left immediately. They would weather the first night within the tree line, the second after traversing the track across the mountain face and the third night in the pass itself. Once they reached the pass the weather would moderate somewhat but they could repeat their overnight camps just as they'd done on the way down.

Their guide was the same smiling fellow and this time there were 4 extra ponies in the mini-caravan. There was also a travois-stretcher for Chuck if it became necessary. Because of the weather, no further delays would be possible.

Chuck and Ahn-Zhu shared a private few moments before joining the others. When they walked out into the courtyard Ahn-Zhu was crying, hanging on to Chuck's arm and he was supporting her. She kissed him soundly enough to piss off Sarah and annoy Ellie but considering her role in bringing Chuck back from the freezer-burned near-dead there was nothing said.

"Sarah Walker, a moment, please." Ahn-Zhu beckoned Sarah to her and turned her back on the others. "I have loved your Scholar since I first laid eyes upon him. His destiny lies out there in your world but his soul will always be welcome in mine. Take good care of him, Sarah. His love for you is intense and all consuming. Do not betray him or allow another to come between you. And listen with your heart as well as your ears for he has much to share with you. He will never leave you, ever. Even when his days are over he will remain with you. My Undisciplined Scholar has much to learn from you also. Do not be afraid to teach him what he needs to learn."

She walked up the snow-covered stairway into the house without a backward glance.

"Let's go. It's getting late." Casey gestured for them to mount and followed the guide out of the village and onto the plain surrounding the lake. Chuck never looked back. Not once. Ellie and Sarah shared a look but each kept their own counsel.

As the grade began to increase Casey looked back at the walled village that he'd found so relaxing and restful. The walls were gone and there was no trace of the buildings. Casey gestured for Ellie and Sarah to look and they confirmed it's apparent disappearance.

"Chuck, the village, it's gone. Is that an illusion or is it…"

"It's still there, Major. Just not in our 'here'. You never asked the name of the town, did you, Casey?"

"Well, considering the other names that required burps, coughs, clicks and whistles, no, since I figured I couldn't pronounce it."

Chuck thought that was hilarious. The guide looked at Chuck and nodded, sharing in the joke. Chuck laughed until he began coughing and pulled his scarf over his face to muffle the sound. Not getting the joke at all, the original three travelers just looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. Casey kept looking back, sure that the clouds and mist were playing tricks on him.

They set camp at the edge of the tree line and hunkered down for the night. Chuck and the guide talked for a few minutes and Chuck pointed down the slope toward the village and clapped the man on the shoulder and gave him a gentle push down slope. When he finished his task of feeding the ponies, Chuck crawled into Sarah's tent and stripped and crawled into their zipped-together sleeping bag.

"Jesu Christi, Walker, you have cold feet. I never noticed that before. Like little ice bergs. Give them here and I'll warm them up for you. You shouldn't lace your boots so tightly. You need to keep the blood circulating since it carries the heat. And wear a hat, Blondie. 85% of the body's heat loss is through the head. Ever hear 'Hands cold? Wear a hat?' "

He rubbed her feet and listened to her moan. He rubbed each toe between his fingers until it was warmer and the rubbed the soles, ankles and calves. He made sure she was well away from the zipper and its cold air infiltration and then wrapped her in a soft blanket and then held her tightly to him. He pulled the weather flap down over them and set a small opening at each side.

"Warm enough, Sarah?"

"Oh, yeah, thanks to my own personal warmer. God, if I didn't love you before I certainly do now."

"Oh, so now you just love me for my utilities? Bummer. I suppose you'll cast me off when the temperatures reach 80 or so?"

"Never. I'm going to chain you to me and keep my eye on you 24/7. You're mine and I'm yours and don't you forget it, Mister."

"I'm sorry about Ahn-Zhu and the kiss. She's not normally so public with her affections. I guess knowing she'll be dead and I'll be old the next time the gate opens kind of upset her."

"Chuck, what are you talking about? She's only 40 or so. And you're 29. What gate?"

"Review her bio when we get home. Pay attention to the span of years between her comings and goings. You'll figure it out, Blondie cause you're so smart. Just don't overlook the obvious. Now, are there any other cold places I can warm up?" His attempt at a leer set her off and her laughter filled the tent.

"I love you, Sarah. No one else. Put Ahn-Zhu out of your head. Now sleep, little girl. And dream of warm beaches, tall cool drinks, us in a hammock under palm trees making love in the warm breezes with no one within miles. Sleep and dream."

Tree Line - Glacier Track

The next morning was cold and crisp and the guide was gone but the ponies remained.

"Well, that sucks. He splits in the middle of the night and leaves us here. Must have had a hot date." Casey did not appreciate his defection and let everyone know about it.

"He had to go home, Casey. It was his last chance. I sent him away last night. He risked a lot just taking us this far. He risked a lot bringing you down through the pass this time of year. A brave man to do it twice. Pack it up and let's move. We don't want to be caught on the glacier path at night."

Six hours had passed since they'd broken camp just below the tree line. Chuck was pushing them hard and finally Ellie had had enough. She was concerned he was needlessly risking his health and she told him so.

"Chuck, enough. You have to rest. Let us take a break and at least cook some hot food. And calm down."

"Eleanor, unless you want your rest to be in the belly of the beast and your hot food to be your last meal, get your ass on that pony and push it up the damned mountain to the pass. You do not want to be here on the glacier face at night. Trust me. I was. I lucked out. You and the rest of you won't be so lucky."

Casey knew that something scared the hell out of Chuck and that it lived here at night. That was good enough for him. "Ellie, move those buns of yours up the damned mountain. You heard your brother. Whatever's here eats beans."

Sarah looked at Chuck with wide eyes. "Chuck, the monk, legs, bitten off. It was true?" It wasn't but it would be a great motivator. He looked at her and nodded his head sagely and shuddered theatrically. That was all it took.

"God damn it, Eleanor Faye Bartowski, get your ass on that scrawny horse and move it. You don't want to be here. It eats beans, Ellie, HOOMAN BEANS!"

Casey looked at Chuck and he just innocently shrugged his shoulders looking for all the world like the cat that ate the canary. "Whatever works, isn't that what you once told me?" It was all Casey could do not to laugh and give it all away.

"Casey, you guys armed?" Now it was Casey's turn to stare at him. He shook his head.

"Chinese said no firearms since we were essentially retrieving a corpse. And they don't want to supply the Tibetan 'bandits' with arms." 'Bandits' was the current politically correct term for resistance fighters.

"John Casey, I asked you a question. Kindly tell me the truth."

"A popgun. A 25 caliber. Hidden in a boot tip when we came here, a steel-toed boot."

"Find it and be ready. I don't know if we'll make the ridge or not before dark. Maybe the noise will scare them off. If not, kill Ellie and Sarah first, then yourself. Trust me, it's the merciful thing to do."

Casey hurried off to catch up with the others and to ransack his pack for his popgun.

Chuck pulled his ice ax off the saddle and slipped the thong around his wrist. It was going to be a close run thing and he hadn't come all this way to fail Sarah now. He took a deep breath and he started another bout of coughing, finally spitting a mouthful of bloody yuck onto the track. He'd worry about his health when he was less likely to be dinner.

Glacier Face

The ponies saved them. They were nervous and snorting and whinnying and threatening to break into trots.

Casey had his popgun and Chuck his ice ax. Sarah had her usual arsenal of knives and Casey just stared at her. Sarah handed Ellie a knife and told her to slash, not to stab. "Think of the attacker as a cancer and you have to cut it out. Slash and keep on slashing until it's gone."

The first one came charging down the slope planning on spooking the ponies and stopping their progress. A second attacked Casey and the final one came from behind intent on pulling Chuck from his pony and eating him right there.

Casey shot it through one eye and it howled and shrieked and stumbled over the edge of the path and slid down the glacier face. It wasn't dead but it was out of the fight.

The first beast attacked Ellie's pony, intent on blocking the trail and bottling up the survivors. It reached for her pony with long hairy arms and fingers with hooked nails capable of rending flesh and ripping into the pony's soft underbelly. Ellie slashed at the fingers of the hand reaching for her pony's throat, cutting through hair, fur and bone, severing several of the fingers and causing the attacker to howl in pain and rethink it's attack.

It wasn't a quick thinker and Sarah's knife thrown with uncanny accuracy pierced its eye, partially blinding it. It staggered back a few yards, pawing at the knife and trying to pull it out. It was buried too deeply for a one-handed extraction. When it charged Sarah, still on her pony, she kicked the handle of the knife with the heel of her boot sending it deep into the brain and killing it.

Chuck was wheeling his pony around in circles, trying to keep the attacking beast from pulling him off. He slashed with his ice ax down and across, slicing through the chest and shoulders but missing the intended target, the throat.

He glanced up the face of the glacier and saw two more beasts loping down the glacier face. Oh shit. His pony went down with a slashed throat and Chuck threw himself clear. If he got trapped under a dead pony he was lunch. The stupid beast stopped for a snack, tearing open the abdomen of the pony and pulling out what it thought were 'choice cuts'. "Hey." Chuck hollered and the beast looked up and Chuck stabbed it in the throat with the ice point and then pulled it out and reversed his grip and buried the pick ax in its throat.

He grabbed a spare pony and tried to get on but he and the pony were knocked over by the charge of the second of the two reinforcements. The impact threw him and his pony off the glacier track and onto the glacier. Chuck swung the ice ax and buried it to the handle and hung on by the thong on his wrist. The pony slid down the glacier face and disappeared into a crevasse. The attacker, uninjured but unable to stop its slide, followed the pony into the crevasse.

Casey looked around and saw the final beast skulking towards Sarah and he ran up and thrust the muzzle of the pistol into its ear and fired, killing it instantly.

"Ellie, you OK? Sarah?" Casey was checking out his charges. He only had 4 rounds left.

"Oh, God, Chuck! Where's Chuck?" Ellie was screaming for her brother and Sarah noted the two dead ponies, one missing pony, and one missing future husband. From the amount of blood and the two dead beasts, Chuck had been double-teamed but had killed his attackers.

Casey ran over to the edge of the glacier track and saw the blood trail disappearing into the crevasse. He went to his pony and pulled off his ice ax and went to the edge and looked down for a way to descend and see if he had gone into the crevasse. He leaned out over the edge and heard his friend mumble "Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten me into, Ollie."

"Over here, bring the rope." Casey called to Sarah. He needed to tie the rope off to the pony and then repel down and secure his friend and then have the both of them pulled up.

Piece of cake.

They reached the site of their second night's campsite. They had started with 8 ponies and were now down to 5. Most of their supplies had gone into the crevasse. Chuck's sleeping bag and clothing were on the pony that slid down the glacier face but avoided the crevasse. It was dead and partially eaten by the time Casey had worked his way down to it. He brought back Chuck's sleeping bag, some rations but that was the limit of his endurance.

Between the altitude and the fight, he was out of gas. Chuck, Ellie and Sarah pulled on the repelling line and got him back up on the track. Chuck was very grateful for his sleeping bag.

"We sleep fully clothed, including boots. Sorry, Ellie but you and Casey are in separate beds tonight. We have to be ready to stand and fight at a moment's notice and fumbling around with a frozen zipper is not conducive to living. We'll stand 1 hour watches to maximize sleep and minimize heat loss. If it would snow we'd be a lot better off. The bastards wouldn't be able to smell us. Whoever is on watch, sit up in your bag. Do not lie down. Do not stand up. Keep wiggling your toes and fingers."

Sarah pulled her bag beside Chuck's. "Sweetheart, how's your shoulder? I was so scared when I looked back and you and your pony were gone." She put her arms around him and hugged him. He'd almost dislocated the shoulder, knew the rotator cuff was shot to shit but didn't say anything. What good would it do, and it would just be one more thing for her to obsess over.

"How do you know all this stuff about these beasts?" She was amazed and impressed at how he'd taken charge since the first hint of danger and how he'd motivated them to hurry.

"Ahn-Zhu's people have been at war with these things for thousands of years. Why do you think there's a wall around the town? I listened to the old men and young warriors tell their tales of fierce battles and friends lost and enemies slain. I'll bet when your guide was coming down out of the pass he kept looking uphill at the mountain and at the weather. No one wants to get caught on the glacier track at night."

"But Chuck, you did." She shivered from her fear for him, not the cold.

"Yeah, I did. And one found me." He heard her gasp. "What happened?" She was dreading the tale he might tell.

"He ate me, carried me down to the edge of the tree line in his stomach and crapped me out."

She was stunned for a few seconds and then smacked him on the arm. "You bastard! You had me going. 'Crapped me out!' You're nuts but I love you anyway."

Ellie and Casey had been shamelessly eavesdropping and now were giddy with laughter. The whole terrible day was relieved in a burst of laughter. An affirmation that they were still alive.

Chuck woke up early and went off to do his business and came back and woke the rest of them. The snow around their little enclave had been covered with beast footprints. The ponies were skittish and Chuck was worried. They attacked in the early dusk and in the dark of night. He couldn't figure out why they'd encircled them but hadn't attacked. He wasn't going to ignore the gift of time.

"Let's move. Quickly. There's a storm coming and that means dusk and dark early. We have to get to the hostel tonight in time to fortify it if possible. I think something's pissed them off. Or someone. They don't like losing any more than we do."

They pushed their ponies to the point of near exhaustion but made the hostel with a few hours to spare before dark. It hadn't taken much to motivate the travelers to near superhuman efforts to make their goal. No one wanted to be out on the track in the dark with them.

Climbers' HostelThe Pass

Chuck was trying to remember everything he'd heard the villagers say about the yeti.

They were afraid of fire but there wasn't much here to burn except the very structure they'd sheltered in, and that was mostly beams supporting the sod and timber roof.

They brought in the ponies, fed them from the remaining grain sack that hadn't gone into the crevasse. 'Next time I have an expedition, I'll damn sure distribute the stuff better.' Too much of one necessary thing on one pony and you were in trouble if it was lost.

Everyone was tired and sore. And afraid. It was one thing to face a human enemy but these things were not, and that unnerved even John Casey, warrior extraordinaire.

"Chuck, I have four rounds left and no spare magazines. If they come again and break through I guess it's the end for us. Ellie, Sarah, you then me. Let them eat dead meat. They'll probably choke on your scrawny ass." Gallows humor. Whistling in the dark.

"Let's take inventory and see what we have. Someone may have something we can use and not know it. I'll check around here and see if there's anything we can use in the storehouse out back. Keep them busy so they don't have time to think too much."

Chuck went out and walked around the structure. There was a pony corral with wooden slats set in stone pilasters, a small outbuilding about 10 yards away and that was about it. The rest was rock and mountain and snow and ice. He walked wearily back to the outbuilding and used his ax to break the padlock. Who had anything valuable enough up here to lock? If it was locked it was valuable to someone. Maybe them.

He shoved open the heavy wooden door and stepped back to allow the waning sunlight to illuminate the inside of the 15X15 windowless structure. Bandits, my ass. They were caching weapons for an attack on the village! Well, they'd have to wait another 35 or 40 years or so for the opportunity. Apparently that's how long it had been since this stuff had been put here. It was old. 40 years old.

He forced the latch on a long wooden case and found 8 Chinese copies of the Russian SKS. Another yielded ammunition and then he found a case of flares and a case of fragmentation grenades. He wondered how good these things were. Would the cold preserve them? He grabbed the smallest case and limped on back to the hostel. 'Bandits my ass'. Another coughing fit slowed and finally stopped his progress. He spat out another wad of bloody stuff and wondered it was at all possible to hack up a lung. He wiped the blood from his lips with his scarf.

"Casey, you and the ladies please go and get the goodies I found in the storage building. I need to sit a bit. Got tired all of a sudden. Must be the altitude or maybe… I don't know. " He leaned against the stone wall and was asleep before his hands fell into his lap.

"Ellie, is he OK or is he sick?" Casey was worried about him. He wasn't strong enough for all this effort and he knew he was calling on reserves he just didn't have.

"Let him sleep. Let's go find what he was going on about. I only caught about one word in three. I think he'll be OK here for a bit alone unless you want to stay here with him, Sarah."

"No, we're all tired and three of us can move his 'goodies' faster than two. And it's moving toward dusk and the wind's picking up. Let's let him sleep and move the stuff."

Chuck awoke with a start and called out for Sarah.

"Shhh, I'm right here. Casey's cleaning the rifles you found and I'm giving Ellie a crash course in hand grenades. You did good, toe warmer. Now go back to sleep. I'll wake you in a bit and we'll eat some delicious bread and cheese all slathered with low-fat yak butter. Yummy!"

"No open-mouth tongue duels for you until you find some mouthwash or Clorox. Yuck." He fell back to sleep before hearing her snarky reply.

The howling wind woke him and for a moment he was back on the track trying to find the tree line. Gravity was on his side and all he had to do was walk down hill. Instead, he walked into a wall and fell on his butt. Sarah was on him in an instant, checking him for injuries.

"Sarah, s'all right. Just got a little confused as to when I was, that's all. Let me up. Is it snowing yet or just high winds?"

She grabbed him by both upper arms and turned him around and sat him down on the small bench beside the brazier. She held his face in both her hands and looked into his eyes, trying to determine if the was another 'spell' or if he was just confused from his abrupt awakening.

"Chuck, do you know where you are?" Standard question.

"In the hostel at the head of the pass. Why? Aren't we? It's just like you described it."

"Do you remember the attack?"

"Where are Ellie and Casey?" Another coughing spell. Sarah gave him some snowmelt to rinse his mouth out with.

"Shhh, they're bringing the last of your 'goodies' from the storeroom. Casey says we should be able to hold off a small army with what's here. How are you feeling? Any pain? Any boo-boos I need to kiss and make better?" She giggled from fatigue and the image of her kissing his boo-boos. A little girl term.

"I'm fine, no pain, and unfortunately…" She became alert and concerned.

"Unfortunately what, Chuck? What? Are you hurt or sick?"

"Unfortunately, no boo-boos. But my lip is a little cold. Warm it up for me, Blondie?"

"Ahhh, you had me worried there. Pucker up, Chuck. I'll light your fire for you." More giggles.

Just then the door flew open and Sarah grabbed one of the SKS's and pointed it at the gaping opening. Two snow-covered figures staggered in with a case of something between them. Sarah rushed over and closed the door and bolted it with the heavy timber. There wasn't much they could do about the small windows and the beasts were too large to get through them.

"Man it is getting cold out there. The wind's gusting and Ellie almost got blown off the mountain. Really bad wind. Think it will keep the buggers home in their caves?"

"Don't have a clue. Never talked about their living habits. Was more concerned with their eating habits." He was tired again and achy. The cold seemed to settle deep into his bones and he shivered whenever Sarah wasn't watching, which wasn't often. He avoided talking since it seemed to prompt coughing and his chest was already congested enough.

Ellie and Sarah had inventoried their remaining supplies. They had food enough to get them to the End of the Road but grain and fodder for the horses was going to be a problem long before they reached the town.

Ellie brought some concoction over to Casey and they sat and shared conversation and the food. Leave it Ellie to gourmet-cook Yak dung.

"Hey, Chuck, din-din is served." She handed him a survival bar from their in-bound rations and a cup of tea. Perfect. She was perfect even if her idea of gourmet cooking was a vast and varied collection of take-out menus.

She sat down beside him on the bench and leaned against him, fumbling around looking for his hands. She had suddenly become a hand-holder. And her fixation on touching him was reminiscent of the first days after Stockton.

"You know what I wish we could have done, Chuck?" She seemed very pensive. And that was unusual. Not that she wasn't smart, just that she wasn't someone who brooded over things.

"What ever it was, we'll get to it later. This is not the end of us, Sarah. You have to believe we'll pull something out of our asses. I have too many places I want to take you to and too many things I want us to do together. Silly things; like going to a county fair and riding the Ferris Wheel and making out at the top. Dumb stuff like that."

"I don't think that's dumb at all. I think it's sweet. And I look forward to getting off on a Ferris Wheel." Oh, she was so bad. And so good at it, too.

"So what did you wish we'd have done?"

"Had a wedding in the fall, outside, with all the people we love around us. Maybe in Napa or Arkansas or Vermont. Someplace off-the-wall but special. And a honeymoon inTahiti or Fiji. Is that dumb or what?"

"I think that's perfect. But I was thinking The Caymans or Belize or maybe even… End of the Road?"

"Is that a proposal, Undisciplined Intersect?"

"Maybe. Depends on how the Blonde Goddess sees it. Maybe yes, maybe no. I don't like rejection. Been disappointed enough to last me a lifetime."

"I want a wedding like I described, not done in some hurry-up fashion because we're afraid of the future. I'm willing to wait, if you are. It's just paper, anyway."

"Well, OK, but Sarah, that last night in California, before you left for Paris…"

"Mmm, yes, my gray-haired lover?" That one incredible night was often on her mind.

"Well, it may seem hard to believe but…"

"But what? Oh, don't tell me you froze thatoff? Oh, my stars. Chuck, I never checked. I never thought…"

"No, no, no. I'm just saying it may seem hard to believe but…I can do better, Sarah. Much, much better. And if you think a full-body massage was an experience, well…"

"When you're healthy and we're safe, Chuck, I don't want to leave our bed until I've experienced it all. We'll have room service deliver food and drink and we'll just stay until you've shown me all your tricks. Now, finish that delicious meal I slaved over and get some rest. Day after tomorrow we'll be at End of the Road and we'll meet the pony carts and it'll be easier going."

The next morning arrived with a chilling blast of wind and a blizzard of ice and snow that made travel impossible. The team spent the day lazing around and resting. Ellie brought Chuck a broth and some bread and sat with him while he ate. She'd awakened him and he was less than pleasant. He was so tired and it seemed like each breath cut his lungs and throat like little knives.

"Chuck, Casey said you and Sarah are not coming back with us. I agree with her reasoning. John and I have talked a lot about what you guys do and I'm amazed at what you did before you were taken. I never knew, I mean, yeah, Chuck, I understand now that it was 'complicated' but know that I'm proud of you."

"Now that I've buttered you up, what do you think of John Casey as a brother-in-law? I've only known him since your death, I mean, hell, since you went away, but I love him, Chuck, and he loves me. Is it OK? He's so gentle and loving, not the BuyMore Casey I knew. This is the real John people don't know or see. "

"J – J – John Casey? You and John Casey? THAT John Casey? What about your career, your practice? Hell, what about Devon? And just how much time have you spent with him? Stress makes things look different, Ellie. Are you sure?"

"I can be a CIA doctor, it pays better and they'll pay off my student loans. And John's applied for an instructor's position at NSA headquarters but with you back, he wants back on the team. Devon? He's not half the man John is and doesn't hold a candle to my brother. I want someone who'll go to the ends of the earth to bring back a friend, not some surfer boy wannabe. I love him. I'm going to marry him. I just wanted you to know."

"Fine. But don't ask my opinion if you have no intention of hearing it, Eleanor."

"Chuck, I didn't mean…"

"Yes, you did. Now, I'm tired. I need to sleep some more." He was pissed. Not about John becoming a brother-in-law, it was because she asked his opinion without any intention at all of even hearing it. Typical Ellie. Well, she was John's problem from that moment on. He had his own problems.

What seemed like mere moments later, Sarah woke him telling him to wake up and talk to her. He was so tired. Would no one give him any peace?

"Chuck, you really upset Ellie. What did you say to her? She won't talk to me and she won't even look at Casey."

"I simply told her that if she had no intention of listening to my opinion she shouldn't ask for it. She asked me what I thought about John Casey as a brother-in-law but never gave me a chance to tell her. I asked her some questions and she gave me half-assed answers but I never got to give her my opinion. Why ask? Please, Sarah, I'm so tired. Please let me sleep."

"Well, I think you should apologize to her. You've really upset her and she's been through so much lately."

"SHE's been through so much? Oh, please, spare me. In fact, why don't you go huddle up with the other members of the 'rescue party' and tell each other how hard it's been and how much you've sacrificed. And let me sleep, please. Dear God, for some peace. At least they let me sleep in the village. I never asked you to come rescue me. I would have found my way home on my own." Whatever else he might have said was lost in a fit of coughing.

She was shocked at the vehemence of his tone and more than a little worried because this didn't seem like him at all. 'He never asked to be rescued?' Well, no, he hadn't. Oh, no, he was regretting his decision to leave Ahn-Zhu.

She stood and walked back to Casey and Ellie.

'At last. Peace. If one more of them bugs me, I swear to God I'll sleep outside.'

She sat down on the stone bench across from Ellie and Casey. "You shouldn't have woken him up, Sarah. He needs to rebuild his strength. It's OK, really. He's right in a way. I never did let him give his opinion."

"He's sorry we came for him. He says he never asked to be rescued and that he would have found his own way home eventually. He told me to come back here so we could tell each other how hard it's been and how much we've sacrificed. I think he wishes he'd remained behind with Ahn-Zhu."

"Walker, that's crap. You told us what he said when he thought you were her, about crawling to the pass to get back to you. I don't buy that at all. I think he's just running on empty and needs serious recharging time. Maybe we should take our sweet old time getting back to Lhasa. And maybe Paris is a bad idea. They could be waiting for him in Paris."

"Well, we'll see. No one's going anywhere in this blizzard. We can all use the rest and adding a few days to our schedule won't spoil anything."

The wind had died down to nothing and Chuck woke with the nagging suspicion something was very wrong. The ponies were gone and so were his traveling companions. 'So much for 'I'll never leave you, Chuck'. He sighed. They must have realized their mistake and decided to make amends by leaving him here to deal with the yetis alone. No big deal.

He crawled out of his sleeping bag and pulled on his boots and outer wear and then grabbed his ice ax and one of the SKSs, filled his pockets with grenades and left to walk the perimeter and get an understanding of the situation.

Ellie woke up to an increase in the volume of the still-howling wind and the sudden drop of the temperature in the hostel. Pulling down her sleeping bag from over her head she saw the open door and missing brother all in one glance.

"Sarah, Casey, he's gone. Chuck's gone!"

Chuck unsnapped his parka and pushed back the hood. It was warm and he was sweating from the exertion of just walking around the building and once again he cursed Larkin and Thorne for what they did. He couldn't see any new tracks nor could he see where his former teammates had left. Must have snowed some since he was last out and filled the tracks. He stopped for a while to cough and spit out some bloody mucous.

"We can't go after him in this, Sarah. It's suicide. In this blizzard you'd be lost in minutes. We'll just have to trust that he knows what he's doing." 'And if he doesn't, that the end is as painless as possible.'

He hit her behind the ear on her mastoid bone. Chuck had been right. Took her down instantly.

"Ellie, I'm sorry, but she's wrong. We have to stay together, here, until the blizzard breaks. You have to trust your brother." 'And forgive me because we've lost him without lifting a hand to help him.'

Chuck walked into the side of the outbuilding and was surprised he hadn't noticed it. 'Must keep my mind on the situation. A yeti could be stalking me and I wouldn't ever catch the scent.'

He walked along the wall until he found the door, walked in and pulled it shut after him. It was cool and dark and he was suddenly very tired again. He walked over to one of the corners and sat down with his back to the wall and slept and coughed and slept some more.

The sounds of rifle shots and howls of anger and roars of rage finally awakened him. He struggled to his feet, sweat-drenched and frozen to the core. 'How the hell did I get out here?' He was clutching the SKS and swaying. ' Man, I feel like crap. Tired and cold.'

Another series of shots and then howls of frustration. Yetis were not known for their patience. He opened the door to raging wind and snow. 'What happened to the daylight? Did I sleep all day?"

Squinting against the wind he could make out the hairy beasts pounding on the pony door and throwing rocks and chunks of ice at the door and windows.

Not wanting to let them know he was behind them he pulled the pin on the Chinese 'pineapple' grenade and threw it toward the group attacking the pony door. He primed another and threw it where he figured 'he'd run' if he were them and then a third further on down the track.

The first grenade killed one outright and sent the others scurrying back away from the building and the explosion. He threw the fourth at the shambling group as the second and third grenades detonated, killing one more yeti. The milling survivors seemed leaderless and confused when the fourth and final grenade exploded among them, killing two and sending the rest howling and screaming off into the darkness of the blizzard. He knew this attack had been broken.

Chuck struggled against the wind to reach the hostel and fell several times before reaching the main door. It was barred from the inside and so he beat a tattoo on it with his rifle butt and yelled for someone to open the door.

Casey whipped open the door, grabbed him and threw him into the interior and then slammed and barred the door.

He landed hard on the stone floor and didn't even care that he was hot and sweaty. He'd take a shower after Sarah was done. Right then he needed sleep and something to stop the knives from cutting up his lungs. He couldn't breathe. He was asleep within seconds, exhausted from throwing four grenades and the 10-yard walk and three falls to the hostel.

Sarah rushed over and knelt down beside him. "Oh, Ellie, he's burning up. Do something. His lips are blue and he's struggling to breathe."

"Pneumonia, it's probably pneumonia, Sarah. I have nothing for it but an antibiotic. I should have seen the signs. I should have listened to what Ahn-Zhu said about his recovery. We pushed him too hard. We…" The slap rocked her head back on her shoulders.

"Dr. Bartowski, your brother needs your help. Snap out of it. Take care of him. You're a doctor, I'm just a burnt out NSA has-been. Save my friend. Do your job." He was almost shouting in her face but it worked. She pushed him aside and then knelt down beside her brother who was being held and rocked by Sarah.

"Sarah, help me get him seated on the bench and then we'll wrap him in his sleeping bag. John, pull that brazier over closer and put a lot more charcoal on it. He needs to be warm while we wash him down with snowmelt to bring down his temp. Sarah, once he's upright, take a chance and jerk the door open and fill that bowl with snow. We'll melt it and give him a bath."

Three hours later his temperature had come down considerably and his lips were no longer blue. The wheezing of his breath was the loudest sound in the room. Casey was staring out a crack in the pony door watching two of the beasts feed on a third. Either they were starving or they didn't care about a little cannibalism. He shuddered and then remembered how they had almost broken down the door until the muffled blasts of several grenades had run them off. It was a damned close thing. Where had Chuck been to have so successfully anticipated their attack and to have broken it so effectively? Had he gone out there expecting an attack? Or had he simply gone out to end it all in a 'socially acceptable manner?'

"I know what you're thinking, John, but you're wrong. He was delusional and hallucinating. Who knows what he thought he saw when he awoke? Who knows where he thought he was? The important thing is that whatever he did for whatever reason worked in our favor. I don't think he's nuts. I think he's sick, and tired, and in desperate need of a hospital."

"Ellie, how does he do these things? How did he know? He just walked out and attacked the beasts from the rear just minutes after we discovered he was gone and they hit us from both sides. It's like he knows things in advance. Spooky. First Stockton, then the hive then he gets snatched and dies and then some mystic from freaking Tibet calls you out of the blue and asks if Sarah still has a bikini, hates olives and still loves him."

"I don't know, Casey. I'm just glad he can."

The Pass & The Path to End of the Road

They stayed two full days and left on the morning of the third day. The ponies were well rested and seemed to know they were at last going home. Chuck slept sitting up in his saddle, wrapped in a sleeping bag. It was easier to breathe. Sarah rode along beside him, one arm around him to keep him from falling. Even when he was awake he didn't speak. He'd not said one word since the 'Ellie incident'.

She was alternately worried about brain damage from the high temperature, some left over problems from his 'transition' or if he just might be so angry with them for bringing him back that he just refused to talk. She had no idea and not knowing terrified her. A rambling Chuck she could handle. Silent Chuck was another thing entirely. Every time she tried talking to him he just closed his eyes and seemed to grimace.

His throat was killing him. It hurt to swallow even water and eating was out of the question. He'd tried talking to Sarah back in the hostel but he couldn't utter a sound and the pain was incredible so rather than go through that he just kept to himself. He knew there was nothing to be done about it until they reached some semblance of civilization so there was no point in worrying anyone. Besides, they seemed to be enjoying the 'silent Chuck'. Sarah would talk on and on and most of the time it was extremely interesting stuff about places she'd been and places she wanted them to go to together.

He still wondered why they'd come back to the hostel after they'd left. Were the yeti chasing them? Was that why they'd returned? He wanted to know but still couldn't speak. He was so tired of hurting all the time and really tired of being tired.

"Casey, see if you can get him to open up. You seemed to be the only one he really talked to in the village. Please find out what's wrong and what I can do to help him. I'm so worried and upset with his silence. I've considered him being angry with us, brain damage, and a problem that cropped up with his 'transition'. I'm scared he's slipping away from me."

"I'll see what I can do. I never knew he didn't like me. I thought we were becoming friends. Guess I figured that wrong. And now Ellie's having second thoughts. The runt is ruining my chances for something good in my life. I'll talk to him alright." He rode up beside Chuck and leaned over to make sure he was awake.

"Chuck, just what the hell is your problem? You walk out of the hostel in the middle of a blizzard, you anticipate a beast attack and blow them all to hell and then you come back and almost die of pneumonia. But first you just had to stick a knife in me with Ellie. I thought we were friends or almost friends. What? You don't think I'm good enough for your sister?"

Chuck twisted in his saddle and tried to talk but all that happened was that bloody saliva drooled down his chin. The more he tried to eke out a sound the more he seemed to bleed and the more filled his mouth. He swayed with the pain and looked at Casey, shook his head and then just turned himself back into the saddle leaning out over the pony to spit bloody yuck onto the track.

Casey had seen enough pain in his life to see it in his friend's eyes and the bloody spit drooling down his chin was evidence of something wrong and unnoticed– again.

He patted Chuck on the shoulder and then slowed and stopped his pony until Sarah and Ellie caught up with him.

"Did either of you look at him when you tried to get him to talk? Did either of you notice the blood oozing out of the corner of his mouth? Did either of you notice how hard it was for him to even try to talk? I think he's got one hell of a case of strep and it's why he can't or won't talk. I had it in the Air Force. You can't talk and if you try you bleed."

He reefed his pony around and then hurried up to Chuck. He pulled his pony in front of his to stop it and then got off and lifted Chuck from his pony and sat him down in the dirt track.

"Chuck, hurts to talk, doesn't it?" He nodded.

"Can't swallow without the little knives and fires tearing your throat up, right?" He nodded again, grimacing and spitting out a mouthful of bloody saliva.

"Neither of the women asked you directly what was wrong, did they? Just talked at you nonstop, right?" Another nod and a shrug as if to say 'what's new with that'?

"And you never mentioned it or made an issue of it because you knew nothing could be done about it, right?" Again he nodded.

"And you didn't want to worry or burden Sarah with something she couldn't do anything about, right?" Again the shrug.

"Well, prepare yourself to be overwhelmed with EllieAngst and Sarah's intense disapproval of your stoicism. She wants to share your pain, Chuck. It's a woman thing I guess. She's worried you just don't want her around anymore. So, you've been warned."

End of the RoadInn

"Open wide, Chuck. And don't give me that long-suffering look. I want to see what we're dealing with here. There's an apothecary here and if I can find something other than dried yak penis to mix as a poultice I'll find something. Maybe they have antibiotics but I don't have much faith in it. Ouch, that's the worst case I've ever seen. Drink as much water as you can. I know you can't eat. I'll fix some broth. Stay away from Sarah. You don't want her getting this."

He did all he could do. He nodded.

"Good. I'm sorry about that day in the hostel. You were right. I didn't want to hear your opinion so I just ran over you, as usual. I'm sorry. I'll try to do better. John took me to task on that."

Chuck closed his eyes wishing he could just tell her 'go away'. He was so tired. Always tired. He wondered if sleeping was tiring him out, too.

Just like a train schedule, Sarah appeared and looked very angry but contrite, a simultaneous oxymoron. "I told you what would happen to you if you were in pain and didn't tell me, didn't I? Did you think I was blowing smoke up your ass or something? Right now I wish you were healthy so I could kick the crap out of you for not telling me you were sick. I'm sorry. Told you I sucked at relationships and chatter. Do you still want me around, Chuck?" Chuck's sigh told her nothing at all.

He reached for her hand and put it over his heart and held it there with both hands. When she tried to move it he held it tighter. That's the best he could come up with on short notice.

Her chin began to quiver and tears welled up in her eyes and she buried her face in his neck and sobbed out a long apology. All Chuck wanted to do was sleep.

"OK, Chuck. This is going to hurt but it's what the doctor ordered. Open wide and don't gag up a bunch of bloody yuck on me. I have to paint your throat with this. It tastes like yak piss but it's what we have to work with. The antibiotics here are rather old and ineffective."

He didn't vomit but the sound he made almost made Ellie vomit. Do no harm, the oath said. Not in this place. It was the 10th century out there medically. Once they were in Lhasa she'd check in with the hospital.

Chuck almost enjoyed the pony cart portion of the trip. At least his poor butt did. He slept most of the time between Ellie's torture sessions.

Sarah watched him like a hawk. She knew something was on his mind and she knew the minute he could speak without screaming in pain she'd get an ear full.

She looked forward to it.

Lhasa, TibetPeople's Hospital & Clinic

The physicians at the clinic were top-notch with most of them having trained in the West. One had graduated years before her from UCLA and they talked about professors and senior staff they both knew. It paved the way for preferential treatment for her brother and she would have done everything short of screwing the doctor to get her brother the medicine and treatment he needed.

"The senator's son has been through quite an ordeal, Doctor. I don't need to tell you how close to death he's hovered from the pneumonia and then the strep throat. He's dreadfully undernourished and he's been suffering from severe snow blindness and it may have permanently affected his sight in his left eye. He should consult with his ophthalmologist as soon as he gets home."

"As for his overall physical condition, I have seen Cambodians fresh from the camps looking better. He must have rest, nourishment and he will require physical therapy for his arm and leg traumas. The x-rays were rather startling."

"He had four broken ribs, 2 surely would have punctured his lung. His arms and both legs have both been broken but set adequately but his left shoulder has been badly separated recently and will require surgery. Take him home, Dr. Ellie, and see to his care."

When Ellie related this to Casey, he was adamant about leaving immediately. Sarah hesitated. "We need to get him into a decent hospital environment as soon as possible but I worry about our 'reception' in the US."

"I spoke with the general last night, lousy reception but she gave the code word for 'safe return' so at least the NSA won't be hounding him for experiments."

"Casey, do you really believe that when they find out what Chuck has done that they'll just welcome him back with open arms and just let us pick up where we left off?" Sarah was skeptical and getting paranoid where Chuck was concerned. She knew how government worked, she had been an assassin for it.

"No, Sarah. I don't. I think you and Chuck need to go to one of your safe spots directly from here, not wait until Paris. Ellie and I will be fine. We have nothing they want except knowledge of this situation. Just set up a communications method so we can swap info once we get back. I don't think the need for Chuck has dwindled in 3 weeks, if anything it's probably become more critical even though his data is aged."

"We'll use the hotmail and the DocsSeekingDocs message boards to keep in touch. The NSA can't monitor everything, Casey. Even Carnivore has limits. Use the voicemail box for routine matter and weekly reports, agreed?"

"I'll call Beckman later tonight and go over the change in plans blaming delays on Chuck's condition. The clinic doctor had some enlightening news on our boy. Broken arms, legs, 4 broken ribs, all healed, a separated shoulder. He got the shoulder injury fighting the beasts when he went over the edge on the glacier track. That was the least of our worries though."

"God, what were those things? Gorillas? Undiscovered Neanderthals hiding in the mountains?"

"Chuck called them yeti. We call them Abominable Snowmen, Sasquatch, Big Foot, what have you."

Sarah shivered, remembering how they stunk but more how they ate their own dead and their poor ponies.

"And Chuck spent time up there, almost unable to move, let alone defend himself, on the track, at night. He won't talk about it though, just makes jokes. There's a lot he jokes about to keep us from asking more in-depth questions. He's not hiding things, I think it's just 'need to know' thinking."

"Have you been able to get him to talk at all? We're lucky Ellie met another UCLA doctor or we wouldn't be outpatient if they saw him at all. Americans are not popular in this part of the world. I'll feel better when we're out of their control."

"He hasn't made a sound. When he's not sleeping, he's 'meditating' in the sun on the hotel room balcony. Ellie says it's going to be a few more days before he starts chattering but that he can travel right now."

"Yeah, I have some questions I want answered about that last attack, Sarah. Things I have to know for my own peace of mind. You know we failed him at every turn on this recovery trip. It's embarrassing to admit that we started failing him in little ways in Stockton and just got worse and worse. Beckman's said the same thing. She's rethinking the whole team concept."

"I won't leave him, Casey, under any circumstances. And I'll protect him with my life if they come to detain him. I'll kill anyone they send, Casey, without hesitation or mercy."

"Good. That's what I wanted to hear. That's what he needs to hear, too. That we're all committed to one another. You, me, Chuck and Ellie. A team, whether they like it or not."

Lhasa, TibetT'kulut Hotel

"Hansen, secure."

"Walker, secure. Girl friend, I need a huge favor. I need you to go to…" and Sarah outlined the tasks for Carina. They'd been friends for years having worked on various taskforces in South America.

"Wow. I mean, Sarah Walker, bitch of the bunch, falling for a mark and running away from the Great Game? He must be something special, Sar' if you're going this far. I'll use the usual method and they'll be waiting for you at the American Express office in Athens by the day after tomorrow. I have got to meet the guy who reformed and transformed the infamous Nightmare. When can I meet him?"

"Mexico or Panama, probably in a month. He's been through the wringer on a mission and I'm giving him my special treatment to get him back on his feet. And yes, he is something special."

"But what about you and Bryce? I mean, damn, girl, I thought you two were planning on getting married, quitting the business. What happened to that?"

"Bryce went to work for an unethical competitor and cost us several sales and my special guy outsold his entire network single handedly. He's no longer available for any future sales contests, if you get my drift."

"No shit? Ful… I mean fulla shit. So this one is the number one salesman on your new crew? Got room for others?" She was always trying to get out of the DEA and into the CIA.

"I'm probably going to go independent. Working conditions have deteriorated to the point that you can't trust the head office with a sale."

"I'll take care of the favor. You take care of Mr. Special and I'll see you in a month or so. Be good, Sar'."

Lhasa AirportLhasa, Tibet3 days later

"I'll miss you, little brother but I'll be in touch. You take your meds and listen to your nurse. Whatever you do, don't lose this one, Chuck. She's a keeper. And if Casey and I don't work out, I know where my 'girlfriend' will be, so watch yourself."

Chuck just nodded. It still killed him to talk and eating was a necessary nightmare. He hugged his sister and then shook hands with Casey after giving him the 'glare of brother death' and nodding towards Ellie.

"Don't worry, little brother-in-law-to-be, I'll watch out for her. She's mine, Chuck. So tell Sarah 'hands off'." He pulled Chuck into a one-armed embrace and said very quietly, "We'll see you in a while. Don't go off half-cocked and get married without us. Ellie would kill you."

Chuck just looked at him and nodded solemnly and then turned to find Sarah as the NSA agent and his sister boarded their flight to Istanbul with eventual connections to DC.

"Don't worry about them, Chuck. Casey will take good care of her. They're not important enough to be in trouble with the government. They've followed their instructions to the letter. They'll tell them the truth that we stayed behind to allow you to fully recover from the pneumonia and strep throat. And they don't know our flight itinerary so they can't admit to something they don't know."

They took a taxi back to their hotel. Their flight was not until the following morning. Instead of Istanbul, they were flying through Delhi then Islamabad and finally to Athens, Greece where they would change their identities provided Carina did what was asked.

"Chuck, I'm going to run a hot bath and I want us to just soak. I know you're still hurting and I think this will help. And I want to share it with you without any fooling around because I've missed us being together, cuddle-buddy."

She saw his eyes roll and the smirk on his face. She could not wait to wipe it off his face with a night of passionate lovemaking as soon as he was healthy and they were safe. For now, skin touching skin would do. And she was going to tell him the story of Sarah Walker, beginning with her earliest memory and if the tub got cold, she'd just continue in bed. And if he fell asleep, they'd pick up where she left off in Athens. He would know everything about her, every secret she had planned on taking to the grave unspoken; he would know her.

She loved European-style bathtubs but the Tibetan 'bathing pools' had them beaten hands-down. There were two pools in each bathroom. One for bathing, with a charcoal brazier actually heating the water through the stone and another for rinsing and 'closing the pores.'

Sarah helped him into the square pool and then got in behind him, letting him lie back against her while she used a sponge to rub pumice soap across his shoulders and arms. She would use her own bath gel on his back and any other place that was injured. The separated shoulder was given extra attention. She did not want to risk causing him any pain.

Chuck sighed with contentment as the heat of the pool soaked into his bones driving out the last of the mountain cold. He pulled Sarah's free hand to his lips and kissed the tips of each of her fingers, her palm and then the pulse point on her wrist. Her sigh was very welcome. How he wished he could speak. He had questions about the hostel and also about her plans for them. He had put himself totally at her mercy as a sign of his commitment to her, to them. He hoped she realized it.

Sarah didn't know where to begin the Saga of her life. There were so many possible starting points that she really didn't know where to begin. Smart Ass would just tell her to begin at the beginning and talk until she was done. This from a guy who hadn't uttered a word since their argument in the hostel. She never would have believed that the tall geek who fixed her cell phone and dismissed her with a look would turn out to be the one for her.

She couldn't wait to parade him around for Carina and watch the look of envy on her face. She'd tell her the entire story, less the Intersect references, and then listen to her various interruptions. "No shit?" "He did what? "He's the one who died?" "Abominable snowmen? Have you been at the crack pipe, again?"

She was so proud of her Paladin. The Reluctant Warrior, the Undisciplined Scholar, her Conan the Incredible. She'd have to keep a close watch on him because she knew Carina would have to try and take him away from her. It was just her way.

"Chuck, I was born in Salamanca, New York. My parents were Mike and Deborah…"

An hour later and 20 years into her tale, Chuck slowly sat up and the stood up. He pointed at his prune fingers and then offered her his hand and pulled her up. He pulled himself up over the edge of the pool and then helped her out and led her over to the rinsing pool to 'close their pores'. The cool water felt good and as they poured water over each other from ornately carved gourds, she started to pick up her tale where she left off when he put a finger to her lips and then feigned sleeping. She nodded.

"Boring you, Chuck? Having second thoughts? Plain Samantha Jayne Roberts boring you?" She grinned but wished for the thousandth time that he could speak without pain. Soon, though, and she wouldn't be able to shut him up.

He mouthed 'No' with a big grin then mouthed 'Samantha?' and she nodded. He smiled but mouthed 'my Sarah' or so she thought. She couldn't be sure so she just softly kissed him and smiled and hopped out of the pool and helped him out.

They dried each other off then crawled into the bed. She started her Saga again but he just looked at her and pulled her against him and whispered with a tortured voice "sleep, Sarah, please?"

She hugged him and put her head on his chest and slept. Things were looking up.

Two Days Later

The flight from Lhasa to Delhi was almost empty and Chuck slept the entire flight. She was beginning to worry about his excessive sleeping but kept in mind that he'd called on reserves he didn't have to get them safely through the pass. She still shuddered when she remembered Ellie's scream "Chuck's gone!" and how Casey had knocked her cold rather than let her run out and try to find him in the blizzard.

Chuck seemed a lot better when they got off the plane in Islamabad to catch the next flight to Athens. She wondered if it was the difference in altitude or the fact that it was a lot warmer in Islamabad than it had been in Lhasa?

Arriving in Athens, Sarah rented a small Yugo and drove to the American Express office and picked up her two packages from Carina. She opened the lighter of the two and took out two Canadian passports, an AMEX BLACK card, several bank and department store credit cards and several background identity items like National Health Service Registrations, pictures of family members, driver's licenses, and the like and a nice thick stack of Canadian and US currency that she'd squirreled away.

Next she went to Barclay's Bank and withdrew money from her private account that she'd deposited all over the world in anticipation of just such a need. Well, she planned on being alone when she did it. After all, The Nightmare was not the kind of agent to travel with company. She loved international branch banking because Barclay's didn't care about the source of the money, just the amount and that they had branches almost everywhere.

She drove them through Athens to a small real estate office the Barclay's teller had recommended and rented a small furnished two-story house on the outskirts of town in a residential neighborhood favored by American and European companies for their employees. She knew from her various briefings and personal experience that these neighborhoods were very secure and well-policed.

"Well, Chuck, what do you think? It's not the Marriott but it's ours for the next month. Or longer if we need more time. I think I'll need to do some grocery shopping since I don't see any Chinese restaurants or McDonald's."

"Baby, please don't be mad at me but I have a confession to make."

Chuck's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline and he looked really worried. A confession from a professional assassin and spy was not good.

"Chuck, please, I never thought to tell you because it had never been necessary before. We always had… Oh, Hell, Chuck."

"I"

He motioned her to continue and his worried look intensified. His mind began conjuring up a thousand things. Just like Thorne, she was going to leave him.

"I c – c - can't"

His mind was going wild completing the sentence. "I can't be with you." "I cant' do this, it's not right." "I can't marry you." Or his personally horrifying "I can't bear the sight of those scars, I'm sorry, I'm leaving." He wished she'd just quick being so hesitant and just spit it out for God's sake.

"I can't cook. I'm sorry, I should have told you but…"

He started wheezing and gasping for breath and seemed to be staggering. She grabbed him and sat him down at the kitchen table. "Chuck, what's wrong? Can't you breathe? Is this some kind of seizure?"

He raised his head, tears streaming down his cheeks and she saw he was laughing, or trying to, almost to the point of hysterics.

"Fine, Conan, let's see if you can live up to the name – Conan the Cook! I'm going shopping. You stay inside. The courtyard is your new favorite place, old man with gray hair, so go sit in the sun and wait for your young and beautiful mistress to return." She giggled. Making fun of Chuck about his hair was great. Knowing he couldn't snark back made it marvelous fun.

"Sar - ah… kiss…my…assssss." And he coughed and coughed until she brought him a glass of water.

"Serves you right, Conan the Cougher. Stay inside of the compound, Chuck. I'll see if I can find an American-style market. We do have a microwave. Hope you like popcorn."

He shot her the bird and then took what little luggage they had upstairs to the bedroom.

He hurried back downstairs and grabbed her arm just as she was leaving. He made motions like writing and she reached into her purse and pulled out a pen and small notebook, mentally kicking her ass for not thinking of it before.

He wrote 'sunglasses, please, eyes dying in this glare. I love you, Samantha Jayne Roberts, but I love my Sarah Walker more.' She kissed him and left before she either started to cry or jumped his bones, both of which had been a distinct probability if she'd stayed.

Sarah solved the shopping problem by simply driving around until she found a park and then, using her patented Aussi accent, walked around until she heard English spoken and then asked about shopping facilities. She also made a mental note to take some basic measurements on her gray-haired boytoy and buy him some more clothes. They hadn't exactly had a wide selection in Lhasa.

She finished her food shopping and drove home. 'Home' had a nice ring to it. Well, it was a beginning.

"Chuck, I'm back, honey." No answer. She walked over to a table and slit open the heavier package Carina had sent and removed the 9mm Beretta 92 she favored. Carefully making her way upstairs she checked each of the 3 rooms but no Chuck. Damn him. 'Stay in the compound, Chuck.' Simple instructions.

She checked out the rooms on the first floor without success and then walked out into the courtyard but it was empty. She started to panic. Where could he have gone? No one knew they were here.

Again, she checked the first floor and then went up to the 2nd floor. She noticed a door at the end of the hallway that she'd originally thought was a closet and opened it, surprised to find a flight of stairs leading to the roof.

Chuck was on the roof, lying in a huge hammock sleeping very soundly with a secret smile on his lips. The entire roof was a garden with a hammock, table and chairs and beach umbrella and even a little fire pit for cooking or burning wood to hold off the night chill. She instantly knew where they would spend most of their free time. After the pass, this was heaven.

Sarah kicked off her shoes and got into the hammock finding that he seemed to have developed his own 'Chuckdar'. He put his arm under her head and the other around her waist and then snuggled closely against her, the smile widening as he slept deeply.

She glanced around and realized that the roof was screened from all the nearby roof top gardens. Privacy. Cool. She remembered his promise of making love in a big hammock on their island getaway and she figured this was as close as they'd get for at least a month. When he was back in shape…

That night Chuck cooked spaghetti with sausage, a huge salad and somehow made iced tea. It was great and Sarah told him so repeatedly. He just smiled knowing the whole point of her exaggerated praise was so he'd cook for them until she learned (doubtful) or they relocated to a civilized place with a broad variety of takeout menus (highly probable). He even managed to eat a fairly decent amount interrupted only by the occasional coughing spell.

Later she called a voicemail service and listened to Casey leave a message for his sister (Sarah) that he was back in DC but that his plans were still up in the air and his visit would be delayed at least a week since his grandmother (Beckman) showed signs of improvement and was off the critical list but his grandfather (Graham) was still on the critical list after their auto accident. He also said he was bringing along his girlfriend who would explain things a little better. He'd call her again when he had news or by the end of the week.

That meant Beckman was in the loop and had no ulterior motives but that Graham was pressing another agenda, probably unknown but leaning toward bad news. She was technically in violation of her contract since she'd returned to friendly territory and had not reported in. She hoped Casey had sold them on the pneumonia/strep problems. She knew Ellie would provide all the supporting details they needed. As far as they were concerned, Chuck and Sarah were in Lhasa, trying to get him healthy enough to fly home.

10 days later

Chuck was growing bored with the 'good life'. He couldn't read, his focusing on print gave him a monster headache. Contacts or glasses in his future for sure, assuming he had a future.

Occasionally Chuck would wander down to the local coffee house and internet café, cough for 10 minutes before going in and would then spend an hour or so looking up, of all things, recipes. He like surprising her with new foods, new creations and he was expanding his knowledge of wines. The few times Sarah had accompanied him he knew she was bored to tears after the first 10 minutes, so he usually went when she was out or sleeping. She went out a lot, it seemed, without explanation or sometimes less than a 'see you later.'

They had nothing in common except their involvement in the intersect. It was the intersect and the 'job' that was her point of fascination. She was bored and becoming surly. Whatever was going on in the 'private' part of her life was kept from him. So much for 'no secrets'.

He knew she missed the excitement and adventure of the kinds of missions she ran when she was with Bryce Larkin, her ex-fiancé. Sometimes being the intersect was a curse. He didn't need to know about her involvement with that particular person. And he wished he could forget those facts but he couldn't. He wondered if Bryce had come clean and told her about his prior marriage to Jill Roberts? The RatBastard and his whore only lasted 6 months. Must have been true bliss for about the first twenty minutes or so.

Slowly but surely he was losing her and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. One day he'd wake up and she'd be gone, just like Thorne but without the explanation.

She was The Nightmare after all and he was, what? A distraction, an anvil around her neck. Maybe he should just contact Beckman and go in to the nearest facility, probably in Athens, and just get it over with. He should have either stayed in the village or not have come across at all. Everyone would have been better off if he'd just died and been done with it.

Sarah Walker, former agent for the CIA and a former (she was fairly sure) intelligence analyst for the NSA sat in the park deep in thought. She'd made herself a promise to tell Chuck everything about her, and she was struggling to find the words to tell him of her last 5 years. Everything between her 20th and 25th birthdays was pretty clean and plain but after that the woman who'd been Samantha Jayne Roberts was pretty much expunged from the psyche of Sarah Walker aka The Nightmare.

She'd been coming here for 6 days now, struggling with it. She couldn't do it back at the house they'd rented and she had to get it right the first time. She knew he'd be horrified at some of the things she'd done, for her country and for herself, but she'd made herself a promise and told him that they'd have no secrets. Now she wished she'd just kept her mouth shut and let him love the Sarah who'd emerged from The Nightmare after Stockton.

She knew he was worried and concerned with these frequent absences but she had to do this. She wanted what the women in this park had and took for granted: family, children, husband, a future. Sighing, she walked back to the Yugo and drove back to the house. She loved the house and she loved the life they'd been living, even if it was only temporary. And she desperately loved the man who'd made it all possible, who'd beaten death itself to come back to her.

"Chuck, I'm back. I think we need to talk, OK? Chuck?"

"Yes, Sarah, I agree. We do need to talk." He'd just lay it all out and ask her to answer what she could and they'd deal with what she couldn't.

"OK, but I want to go first. I have to finish what I started and I don't want to stop until it's all been said and I've answered your questions. Then we can have 'your' talk, agreed?"

"Sure. Hammock, 5 minutes?"

"Make it 10 lover, I want to shower."

"Ok, Chuck, this is the last installment. I've been going to the park everyday thinking about how I was going to explain all that had happened in the last 5 years and I figured just telling it as it happened would be best. So, in 2004 I was partnered with your old buddy, the corpsicle, Bryce Larkin.

Forty minutes later Chuck demanded she stop.

"Stop, Sarah, please, no more. That's not who you are, that's who you were. No more. Nightmare died in that damned container. I know because I killed her. I just untwisted your mind, sent you to a safe place and she was gone. No more hating yourself, no more self-loathing. No more blaming yourself for Bryce's defection. No more hating Bryce, either. Let it all go, Sarah. You have to. You're better than that. Please, Samantha, Sarah, whoever. Let it all go."

She'd been sobbing into his shirt for the past 5 minutes. Now she just looked at him. "What do you mean, you untwisted her? What did you do to me? Why?"

"You were hurting. I know what you were planning. I couldn't let you do it anymore than you could have let me go out into that blizzard and bushwhack those yeti. You were a little crazy, Sarah. You had to be to do the jobs you were given. I had to be to keep you people safe. Now we're ok. You know I'm right, Sarah."

"Now it's our time, Chuck and Sarah time. No more secrets, no more plans and plots. We just do what we have to keep us together. Agreed?"

"Agreed. Now it's your turn, gray hair. By the way, is this, um, permanent?" She was becoming addicted to his gray hair. Distinguished.

"I don't know. Maybe it's a trauma thing. Maybe it's a small price to pay for being alive. I don't know. Why? Feel self-conscious running with a man twice your age?"

"No. Not at all. It makes you look, I don't know, distinguished. But we have to cut the hair, Chuck. That's so 60ish. So, what did you want to ask?" His throat still hurt and he was drinking water. Whizz break soon.

"Why did you leave me alone at the Hostel and then come back? You left because I basically threw you out for your own protection but why did you come back?"

"Chuck, we never left you, ever. You argued with Ellie and then with me and then you either passed out or just went to sleep. Next thing I knew Ellie was screaming you were gone and the door was open and the wind had picked up speed and it was a damned blizzard out there. Casey put me down with that damned 'Chuck punch' of yours to keep me from going out into what was probably certain death."

"No, there was not wind. It had snowed but you were definitely gone. I went out and it was almost warm. It was daylight, Sarah. And it was sunny. I went over to the storehouse to see if you left anything. You guys took all the food. And I got tired and went to sleep. I heard shots and the yeti so I just fragged them and then got back in the hostel."

"That last part is exactly like it happened but Chuck, it couldn't have been sunny, it was 3am. The yeti don't attack in daylight, you said so yourself."

Now Chuck was confused. Another false memory or was it something else? He just dismissed the whole issue and moved on. He couldn't change his past or hers. But he knew it was sunny and there'd been no blizzard. He'd have been a Chucksicle for sure.

"Chuck, if you got caught on the glacier track when you came down from the pass, how did you survive?" She didn't want to hear his lame joke again.

He closed his eyes and shuddered. "I don't remember." He was lying and she knew it but let it go. He was alive now and that was what mattered. But two broken legs? Two broken arms? Broken ribs? Must have been one hell of a fight.

"How's your shoulder, by the way? You know the doctor in Lhasa says you'll need surgery to repair the torn rotator cuff, don't you?" She wasn't sure what he'd remember and if he'd even been told. Casey had been pretty rattled about the x-rays. Part of his briefing when assigned to the intersect had been his physical and medical records. He'd never broken anything except for an arm according to his records. So either Larkin and Thorne had beaten him severely or something else had happened.

"Sarah, I don't know which memories are real and which are 'wishful thinking' or were created by my subconscious to protect me. You'll have to be very understanding if I ask about details of things that never happened, OK? This is really freaking me out. I thought I was rattled after Stockton but this, this is so…" He started to shudder and then tremble and Sarah knew it was time to end 'Truth or Dare' time for today.

"Shhh, Take a deep breath and just relax. We're in sunny Greece, in a hammock on a rooftop of our own, no missions, no secrets, just us. Now, relax, Chuck, the yeti are history, the pass is history, the packing plant is history and the Stockton thing is history. It's our now-time."

She ran her fingers through his hair and giggled. "You know, you cut me off at the knees that day in the BuyMore when I gave you the code phrase. I hated you intensely at that moment. And now look at me… lusting after some poor old man with gray hair who happens to hold my heart. Life sure is strange, Chuck."

A phone call two weeks later proved Sarah's statement to be true.

"Walker, secure."

"Casey. Wrap it up there and bring our hero home. Grandpa passed away from his injuries and Grandma needs our help running the farm. Especially the plowing. We need to get the seed planted if there's going to be any harvest this year at all. And she's got new livestock that needs tending to also."

"Sorry to hear about Grandpa. How's Grandma taking it?"

"Sarah, not well. She expected a full recovery but life's funny. He just crumbled away."

"We'll be in DC in 2 or 3 days. Tell Grandma her 1 plowman is raring to go. I'll call again with details. How's the girlfriend? Is it serious between you two?"

"She's fine and yes, it's serious. But I don't know how her brother survived some of her moods. Take care and we'll see you in DC."

Sarah explained the conversation to Chuck as succinctly as possible to avoid having unnecessary conversation. She didn't like him straining his voice to speak and his voice timbre bothered her. It had changed and she hadn't adjusted to it yet. She'd miss his girly screams, although not the reasons.

"So Fulcrum nailed Graham or Graham is Fulcrum? You could take it either way, you know?"

"Uh, I hadn't thought of that. I just assumed Fulcrum got him from the context. I'll talk to Casey again tomorrow when our trip info is finalized. You are absolutely sure you're ready to go back to work? It's only been 4 weeks. And your stamina sucks, boy friend. You could use another month running and putting on some of the weight you lost."

"Sarah, please, no nagging. I'm as good as I was before all this started, just leaner and meaner." She chuckled. Leaner, yeah, meaner? No way.

"Sarah, if you're worried, why are you always walking around with that damned mysterious grin on your face? You haven't stopped smiling or grinning for the past week or so."

"Really? How's this?" Her grin morphed into a subtle smile that he knew all so well.

"You mean I put that there? Old Chuck makes you smile like that? Unbelievable."

"Well, since you began demonstrating some of your talents, yeah, it's been hard not to smile." And her smile morphed back into the 'mysterious grin' again.

"If Beckman sees that grin, Sarah…"

"She'll be jealous, curious, but mostly envious as hell. Uh, Chuck, you've never met Beckman in person, have you?"

"Nope, but for a tiny lady she sure in formidable." And scary as hell, too. But he didn't say it.

"Just don't try and 'untwist' anything in her, Chuck. She'll be wound tight, I can guarantee it."

He ran a fingertip down her spine sending waves of relaxing warmth through her back. "Chuck, we don't have time for this, sweetheart. Really, we have to get our reservations, take care of closing up our Greek love nest, don't look at me like that, gray hair, I think of it as that, and I'll always love this place and its memories."

He nodded and then ran his palms over her naked buttocks and she gasped as the waves of warmth spread throughout.

"Ohhh, please, Chuck, we don't have time, baby, we've only got two days to…ohhHHHhhhhummmmmm. That was sooo unfair. You know I can't…"

"You shouldn't be in this hammock, lying on top of me, naked and warm and so deliciously sexy if you didn't know I would do things like this and that." 'This' involved an erect nipple and 'that' was…something else entirely.

"Gray haired old randy goat. We'll take a later flight." God but she'd miss this hammock and it's memories… and interesting uses. She vowed to have one in every house or apartment they ever had.

3 Days Later

They left sunny Greece behind and landed in a cold spring rain in London. She'd arranged a one-day layover because she was taking her mantoy shopping for grown-up clothes and London was the place to shop for men's wear.

She bought an extra suitcase for his new clothes and then laid out his clothes for the London to Washington leg of the trip. She couldn't stop staring at him. She'd taken him to get his hair cut like a mother and young child and he'd bitched and complained the entire 50 minutes. He looked like a middle-aged… sex god? No, mature man of the world? No, he looked…edible.

Gone was the ponytail although the stylist almost wept when she told him "it all comes off". "But girlfriend, it's sooo manly and chic."

"Stop mincing around, Marvin, he's mine. And he's so straight you could use it to… never mind. Just cut his damned hair."

Chuck walked out of the shower favoring his left shoulder. She'd tried to massage it for him but he told her if they wanted to make the plane, hands off.

Twenty minutes later he was freshly shaved and dressed. Charcoal gray pinstriped suit, red silk tie and white linen shirt starched unbelievable crisp. Her jaw dropped when he walked out. "How do I look, honey? I feel like it's Halloween and I'm wearing Dad's stuff."

"Oh, my, what have I done?" She had to. It was a life-requirement. She laid a smoldering kiss on him, painfully tearing herself away from him. "Uh, Chuck, you look…nice, really, really, I mean, really nice." Edible.

"Thanks. And I owe it all to you and your good taste. And you taste good, too, Sarah." He winked and she blushed. Damn, he got me again. Definitely not Alzheimer's.

By the time they'd reached their concourse Sarah Walker was seething, her normally ice-blue eyes were a smoking jade green as she shot death-glares at the various women who were momentarily absorbed with HER boyfriend.

When the attendant took his boarding pass and allowed her hand to linger on his, she lost it. "Take your hands off him, you wench. He's mine!" Chuck turned bright red and the attendant quickly turned and greeted the next passenger.

Chuck leaned over and whispered, "Sarah, don't make a scene, please. She was just being nice." They weren't supposed to draw undue attention to themselves; those had been the General's instructions. Apparently Sarah had forgotten them.

"Chuck, I will not have women pawing at you. Please, honey, it's so not going to happen." She was embarrassed herself, but also very territorial, very.

"Maybe you could drop your thong and pee on my leg so they'd know I'm taken?" he snarked back.

She looked at him, shocked, then burst into laughter. "All right, I'll admit to being a bit possessive but you look so good, Charles. And a mistress must take care of her man…" This was said loud enough so that those in the jet way and behind them in line heard it. Deliberately.

Chuck slept through most of the flight, awakened by Sarah to drink and take his pills, then to eat and then finally to deplane. Chuck told her he could definitely get used to First Class. She blushed when he whispered that he was sorry he'd slept since he'd wanted to initiate here into the Mile High Club. Next time, he promised her.

She whispered back that she felt a mile high even when they'd made love at sea level. He just chuckled and wondered again at her constant smile. He ran a finger down the side of her face and she shivered. They were interrupted by a rude woman who suggested they 'get a room' and he replied that they'd already christened all 14 of them at their London house and now were going on to 'the Colonies' to bless their other homes (with emphasis on the plural).

Sarah chuckled evilly and shot Chuck a knowing smirk. He shrugged as if to say "screw them if they can't take a joke".

Casey met them at the plane and did a double take at Chuck. It was the hair. It was steel gray and slightly white at the temples. Casey looked at Sarah with a "what the hell?" look and she just shrugged her shoulders and glanced at Chuck.

"Where's Ellie, Casey? Locked in her room? Shackled to a bed somewhere?" He was kidding, but just barely and Casey was smart enough not to tease him.

"She's interviewing at Johns Hopkins for a job. She's staying here, with me, and she'll pack her bags and follow if we get a permanent home for a while. It's kind of fluid right now. I'll let the General fill you in, Chuck. We might be here for a while."

"Why?" Chuck was direct and to the point and wary.

"Because this is where the Headquarters are located and this is where you've been temporarily assigned, or did you forget you worked for the NSA, dumb ass."

Sarah's eyes narrowed and Chuck just touched her hand and shook his head, 'no'.

Casey saw this and filed it away for future reference. She was taking 'protective detail' stances. Very good. He didn't know she was protecting him from all of 'them', those women with their naked lust so evident in her eyes.

"Where will we be staying, Casey?" Sarah got down to basics quickly.

"Chuck will be in Medical and I suppose you'll get some VIP quarters or just use your DC apartment."

"Chuck will not be in medical. Chuck will be in VIP quarters or with Sarah in DC and commute. We were worried about the CIA and their 'oh, goody, experiment times' and now I'm not facing the same thing with you, Casey. Pull the damned car over. I'm so done with this shit." Chuck was adamant and addressing Casey using the third person emphasized it. Sarah said nothing at all, simply sitting behind Casey with her weapon in her lap, hidden under her coat.

"Chuck, it's not like that. We showed Beckman your x-rays and she freaked out big time. She ordered the full boat on you to make sure you can handle the job and to identify and fix whatever's wrong. It's not an experiment, it's for your own good."

"And besides, Chuck, you don't have a choice." Casey said this with a glance in the rearview mirror. He'd heard the 'snick' of the safety.

"Oh, Major Casey, you're so wrong. I always have a choice." He closed his eyes and began to wander up to the pass.

'He stood in the mountain pass feeling the cold from the winds and the crunching snow under his boots. His ice axe dangled from one wrist and he started to pull on his ice goggles. The blizzard was raging and he felt the first bite of the cold on his exposed hands and face. He could hear someone cursing and someone else calling his name, begging him to return and to keep his promise.

Chuck grabbed Casey's open hand, preventing the slap from hitting him. "Don't, Major. I could turn you into a pile of puke with three words. Do not ever presume to tell me I have no choice. No prison, no jail, no box can ever hold me. Do you know how far it was from San Diego to Tibet? It was a heartbeat, Major. That's all. Now, let's go see General Beckman. I'm sure she'll be reasonable about things." He turned in his seat and winked at Sarah. "No problems, all right? Just keep it cool, babe." And he winked at her again but she was still angry he'd broken his promise.

Casey looked at Chuck and then at his hand. It was freezing cold where he'd grabbed him.

"We'll have to wait a few minutes. The defrosters need to melt the ice on the inside of the windshield."

NSA HeadquartersFT Meade, MD

Casey stopped Chuck before they got on the elevator. "Listen, don't pull the same shit on her that you pulled on me. She won't be swayed and she's adamant that you go through a full medical to ensure you're healthy. She's concerned with you as an individual, Chuck, and that's an admission of need from her."

"Also, don't react to her appearance. They got Graham but missed her, but not by much. She's different, more determined than ever. It's personal now, Chuck. Remember that."

Casey and Sarah were told to wait in the foyer office while Chuck went in to talk to the General alone. Casey stared at her for about 3 minutes and then said "Were you really going to use that pistol on me?"

"If you'd hurt him or tried anything, yes. In a heartbeat."

"Thought so. Compromised, huh?"

"Incredibly."

"Happy?"

"Unbelievably."

"He really all right?"

"Getting there."

"Cat got your tongue?"

She smirked. "How's it feel to be on the other end of the stick, Casey?"

"Not good. He talk to you about the hostel? Any explanation you can share."

"Not here. You and Ellie up for dinner? We can get reservations for four at Mystral's in Bethesda."

"Four? Don't think so. At least not for a few days, maybe a week." Casey's turn to smirk.

"Bet?"

"Dinner check?"

"Done."

General Beckman's Office

"You have had an interesting 8 months, Mr. Bartowski. Traveled some, died some…"

Chuck just smiled.

"So, you died. You showed up in Tibet and some monk in a monastery brings you back to life and here you are."

"That's not quite the way it happened. I thought Casey's report would be a little bit more…accurate instead of prejudicial. Oh, well, I guess that's Casey. Won't believe what's in his hand even when it bites him."

"Oh, he believes, Mr. Bartowski. I don't." The general leaned back and fixed him with her patented 'I got you know, sucker' stare.

He stood up and walked over behind her desk and grabbed the handles on her wheelchair and pulled her out into the center of the conference area.

"Bartowski, what the hell do you think you're doing?" She was livid. No one was supposed to know about her injuries from the bomb in her car. It was bad for morale.

"Shut up. Do not presume to judge, General, without first-hand knowledge. I'm giving it to you."

He knew the muscle damage was severe and the pain and cramps would be ferocious and would eventually gnaw down the attitude of even the tiny General, slowing any recovery.

"Where does it hurt most? Thigh? Knee? Calf? Where?"

"Right thigh, knee, mostly. Certainly the worst."

"OK, it'll never be as good as it was. Do this to keep the pain at a manageable level; it's what I do. Good, uniform pants. Give you some dignity."

He picked up her leg and began the slow massage he used on Sarah except this time he had Beckman put her hands over his to learn the movements. Long muscle groups required the deepest intrusion and she was gasping with pain by the time he'd finished the front. He rubbed his palms together and then dug his fingertips into the damaged muscle.

"Don't tense up. It's not going to hurt. You have to learn to anticipate the pain and preempt it. Look."

He stood and took off his coat, tie and then shirt. He turned around and Beckman saw the twisted gnarled mass that was his back.

"Muscles grew back wrong, or twisted or not at all and I have spasms and cramps at the most inopportune times. I can't reach my back. I live with the pain. You don't have to."

Within 60 minutes Beckman was a believer, not just in the techniques he learned but also in his ability to relocate. She also understood its limitations. And her hand was still damned cold.

"You can't send armies into another country or spies into locked vaults. It doesn't work that way," he'd told her.

"General, when you're not quite so busy and if you can overcome your shyness, I can work on those legs for you. And teach you some self-massage that will make you able to walk again just like now. Add some pain management tricks, and they are tricks, and you can almost resume a normal life."

"I'll think about it, Mr. Bartowski. Definitely. But you will go to medical, at least for a physical. We can schedule it for tomorrow morning and you and Ms. Walker can have the evening out on the town and be here bright eyed for the exam. NO tests. No tricks."

"Thanks, General. You know, there are times, I mean sometimes, I have memories of things I'm not sure I've done, or haven't done yet. I don't think I'm as reliable as your old asset. But I'm certainly more committed."

She could see the commitment in his eyes when he talked about the packinghouse and the trip up to the pass. He put great faith in his team and they'd come through for him. Or rather he'd come through with them. He seemed older, wiser, more mature but still as obnoxious as when she'd sent him the Nightmare to tame him.

"So, you and Sarah, together? You know that fraternization is forbidden, Chuck. She'll have to be replaced on your team."

"Without her I'm a mental case, General. She's my center. Add to the team, yes, but don't send her away. I will follow and if I can't, there will be no intersect. We'll start the whole dance over."

"There is a solution here. You'd have to marry her and I don't think she's the marrying kind, Mr. Bartowski. Not after Bryce. And I don't think even you could convince her."

"Want to bet a 3-week trip to Fiji for two? Off the books, of course."

"You're on, Mr. Bartowski. I'll enjoy going to Fiji with you when you lose. You've become quite the good looking older man…but you'll have to explain this to Ms. Walker."

"If that's all, General, I'll see you tomorrow." He practically ran out of the room.

Casey and Sarah were stunned to see Chuck buttoning his shirt and pushing in his shirttails and the General's delighted laughter as the door closed.

"Sarah, we have to talk."

"No shit, Sherlock."

The intercom requested that Major Casey join the General. He looked at Chuck with a "what did you do now, numb nuts" look and shook his head and walked to the door, knocked then entered.

Diane Beckman walked around from behind her desk and asked him to sit. She leaned back against her desk and smiled.

"You were right. Absolutely right. Have Walker replaced immediately and transferred to the Protective Division and reassigned to the Bartowski Team effective immediately with the usual pay and benefits. Then go pick you a partner that won't drive the good Doctor to drink or worse and let's get cracking. He'll be here at 8am so have the new agent ready for introduction and interview. Chuck has the final word. Dismissed."

"Oh, John? You owe me fifty bucks, Major. He did use his back to convince me. Damnedest mess I ever saw on a human being still alive. You know he's in near-constant pain, don't you? And he can't help himself. Let Sarah know. That's all, John."

Casey stood at attention then left. Damn him and his mojo voodoo. Fifty bucks. And the General was walking again. Mojo voodoo, cool.

"Sarah, it was either that or she was going to send you away." They were sitting in a pool car and Sarah was taking them to her apartment in DC.

"I can't believe you, Chuck, how could you? I don't think I've ever felt this upset with you before. I mean… you had sex with General Beckman! My God!"

Chuck listened with one ear trying not to laugh. She'd totally misunderstood what he'd started to say. And still she ranted on and on…"Sarah…"

"I don't care what she threatened to do, you should have stood your ground, held a firm position and just told her 'no'. That's harassment, that's illegal. We'll sue her. I'll kill her. She can't do that to you. She can't do that to me! I'll find out where she lives and I'll burn her house down when she's asleep in it. Or, or, I'll poison her with something slow acting and very painful."

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry, I'm thinking of myself and it must have been so horrible for you."

"Well, no, actually I kind of like the idea. Really. I mean we'd planned on it pretty much from the start once we got over the bumps and everything and it's all coming together now. I couldn't be happier, Sarah. Aren't you happy? Didn't you want this, Sarah?"

She pulled into an underground parking garage, keyed a code and was admitted entry. He looked over at her out of the corner of one eye and saw she was steaming mad. He knew for his own safety that he'd better call a halt to the teasing.

"Sarah…" She threw her door open and stomped across the garage to the elevator. "Get over here!" she screamed at him. Looks like the Nightmare has resurfaced. He walked over towards the elevator and arrived just as the door opened. She gestured him in and the turned to face the door.

"Sarah…"

"NOT NOW!" She pointed to the security camera.

They got off on one of the upper floors and she marched down the corridor. Chuck knew it was imperative that he stop this from continuing. A joke was a joke but a pissed-off Sarah Walker was a threat to world peace.

She stopped in front of a door and then ran her fingers around the edges. Satisfied, she took out her picklock and opened the door in seconds.

"Forget your key?" An innocent question, right?

"Think, Chuck. If I carry keys, someone might discover where I live between missions."

"Ok, yeah, sorry. Didn't think about that."

"No, and that's your major problem, Bartowski, you. don't. THINK!"

Now that pissed Chuck off. "Ms. Walker, I did not have sex with General Beckman. I made a believer out of her. I had to take off my shirt to do it. I massaged her leg, Ms. Walker, nothing more. Well, nothing important. Obviously you've formed an opinion about me. Well, guess what. You're being replaced, Ms. Walker, effective immediately. General Beckman forbids fraternization between employees and assets so one of us has to go. And it ain't me, Ms. Walker."

"Chuck…" that small voice. The little girl voice.

"You were so sure I'd have sex with Beckman to keep us together and you immediately assumed the worst and that I was so desperate…of course, I don't think."

"We can only stay together if we got married. And she said you wouldn't, not after the 'Bryce fiasco' and I said you would. We bet a 3-week vacation in Fiji, off the books. I go either way. With a wife or with her."

"You jumped to a conclusion again. Just like in Shangri-La. 'He's a blind cripple'.

"Chuck… please…"

"You professionals are always so perfect, always right, never wrong. You professionals would be yeti shit if this non-thinking idiot hadn't been along for the ride. Let me borrow your phone. I need to get Casey to pick me up. I'm not staying here another minute with you."

"I figured that you were serious about marriage, about us. But Beckman said you wouldn't marry anyone after Bryce. Bastard screws my fiancé and ends up marrying her anyway. Then he fucks up my only chance in life for true happiness – after he's dead! There is no justice in the world."

"What do you mean, he married your fiancé?" She hadn't heard that one yet.

"I'm sorry you didn't know that Bryce had married Jill. I never thought to mention it. It was your private business and I had no right to bring it up. She only put up with his crap for 6 months then divorced him. Then there was Kayla, the lawyer, his divorce attorney, that lasted until he went active in the CIA. He divorced her. Then he got partnered with you, I guess. Sorry about killing Bryce, Sarah. You must hate me for that somewhere deep down inside. You were going to marry him so you must have loved him very much. I'm so sorry, Sarah."

Her eyes snapped in anger and before she could stop herself she doubled up her fist and hit him, hard, in the face. He went down and stayed down.

"Oh, what have I done? Chuck, Chuck?" She ran to the bathroom and wet a towel and wiped the blood off his face. She'd caught him on the eyebrow and the bone had split the skin.

Just then her cell rang. "Walker, what!"

"Casey, secure. Bad time? I can call back. I was looking to talk to Chuck. But I have some information for you. He bet Beckman you'd marry him. He bet her a 3-week honeymoon in Fiji. If he loses, he goes with the General. Crazy, huh. He said he wouldn't lose and Beckman said she'd enjoy his company because he'd turned into such a handsome older man."

"Casey I know about that. He told me."

"Did he tell you you're off the team if you don't marry him?"

"What? Marry him or I'm off the team? She can't do that. Suppose I didn't want to get married?"

"Don't believe it. Beckman used that as a threat but he believes it. You've been reassigned as his permanent bodyguard. I have to find a new team member."

"So he's pushing me to get married so I stay on the team? Of course I want to get married but not if he's under duress, true or not."

"Duress. Stress. Sarah, did you know that he's in constant pain, and that it's beyond his control? He told Beckman when he was teaching her his pain massage. He can't help himself, just everybody else, Sarah. He's in near-constant pain but never says a thing. You could have helped him if he'd told you. Wonder why he didn't?"

She looked down at the man she hoped to marry. "Well, trust me, Casey, he's in no pain right now."

"Um, sorry, didn't mean to inter…" He stumbled to get off the phone.

"Oh, no. Nothing like that. He's out cold. He pissed me off and I clobbered him. Didn't mean to, but he told me things I didn't want to hear. Maybe I should be off the team. All I ever seem to do is jump to conclusions and hurt him. I ranked him out, told him he never thought before he did things and he told me I'd be yeti shit if it hadn't been for him. We all would have been."

"He's right. Um, any idea why he hared out on us in the hostel and left us? Ever find out more about that?"

"Casey, he swears he woke up and it was daylight and we'd abandoned him. It was sunny, no wind and he went to the out building and fell asleep and only woke up when he heard the shots. He's convinced we abandoned him."

"He was delirious, Sarah, nothing more."

"Well, he's out cold now. I better see what I can do. You got my address? Maybe bring Ellie over and we'll go to dinner? I'd appreciate a buffer between us right now. He doesn't want to stay here. He knows about Bryce. He knew all the time. But I didn't know that Bryce had been married twice, once to Jill and once to some attorney. So I hit him when he apologized for killing him."

"There must have been more to it than that."

"He said I must have loved him very much and he was sorry for killing him. Idiot."

Sarah's CIA ApartmentWashington, DC

Chuck woke up feeling like Cleveland was on his face. He reached up and felt a towel filled with ice on his eye. 'Great. A black eye to explain to the NSA shaman tomorrow. Sarah's toast for sure. Jesus, she sure can punch.'

He tried to get up but his back went into spasms and he just lay back down and waited for it to pass. He'd had several in Greece but had never mentioned them to Sarah. It was easier to just 'grin and bear it' than to go through all that damned angst.

He grunted, as each breath seemed to cause the muscles to tighten more. This was as bad as the one on the lakeshore but then Ahn-Zhu had been there and helped him immediately. Chuck just closed his eyes and thought about anything other than the pain.

Sarah had gone down to help Casey bring up their bags leaving Ellie to look in on her brother. She'd been so mad she hadn't thought about their luggage. She hadn't thought about their luggage. Hadn't thought. Didn't think.

Ellie stood in the doorway to the bedroom watching her brother handling his pain. She had no idea how to help him.

Casey walked up beside Ellie carrying two suitcases. "What's with Chuck? What's that grunting he's making? More hocus-pocus or are those the back spasms he told the General about today or something else entirely?"

"He's in pain. That's how he's dealing with it. I've seen cancer patients do the same thing when the medicine doesn't touch the pain anymore."

Sarah was lugging in the last suitcase and caught Ellie's remark.

She set down the suitcase and walked into the bedroom and shut the door in Casey and Ellie's face and then lay down next to him and put her arms around him and cried.

"I'm sorry. I thought you knew. I thought Ellie would have told you. Crap, she's told you just about every other thing in my life I'd rather not be known. Wonder why she skipped this one?"

"Were you ever going to tell me, Chuck? Or just let it go on until…?"

"Um, if I answer truthfully are you going to slug me again, Rocky?"

"Will the pain ever lessen or go away, Chuck?"

"It comes and goes. Sometimes it's really bad, like now. Other times it's hardly noticeable. Please don't cry. It's no big deal. I'm more worried about facing Beckman with a black eye. I don't see this op as being long term anyway. Not now."

"I'm sorry. This was my entire fault. I jumped to conclusions about Beckman. Chuck, I'm just suddenly so jealous of other women when they look at you, touch you or stand too close when they talk to you. It's stupid but it's how I feel. And it's embarrassing like at the airport."

"Well, it's a moot point now. I have to go. Again, I sincerely apologize for hurting your feelings regarding Bryce. It was your personal business and I shouldn't have brought it up. I won't make that mistake again." He removed the ice and towel and tried to get up.

"Damn you. Just throw us away because of some stupid remark I reacted badly to. I'm sorry. I thought I loved him, yes, but it was nothing at all compared to what I feel for you. He deserved what he got. He tortured you. He ruined your life. He screwed your fiancé. He's why you're here instead of in California in our bed in our home, Chuck. Don't you dare regret killing him."

She reached up to embrace him and he cringed, thinking she was going to hit him again. 'What have I done to Chuck? To us?'

" Please, I – I'm sorry, Chuck. Please don't go. I need you here with me. I'm your center but you're my life."

"Conditions. I have conditions. These are not negotiable, Ms. Walker. Understand? Hit me again, for any reason, and I'm gone. Forever. Treat me like I'm retarded and I'm gone, forever. Dismiss my legitimate concerns over a mission or your safety without serious discussion and I'm gone, forever. These are not negotiable, Samantha Jayne Roberts. Understand?"

"Agreed. And I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I have a temper and…"

"I'm hungry. Let's go. Casey's paying. You explain to Beckman about the intersect's eye. I'll be busy being tortured in the name of science."

Mystral's RestaurantArlington, VA

Dinner at Mystral's set Casey back a small fortune but Chuck hardly touched his food. Ellie kept staring at his eye then at Sarah then back to his eye. He kept waiting for Ellie to explode but it never came. Instead she sucked down tequila shooters and dared Sarah to match her.

By the time the bar closed they had two drunken girls and a night full of passionate puking ahead. Ellie was quiet but not Sarah. Oh, no. She talked to Casey about places they'd been to, other agents they both knew and the best places for romantic getaways then made the ultimate mistake – she called Chuck 'Bryce'.

It was colder in the NSA pool car than it had been on the glacier track. Chuck let it slide. She was drunk and talking to Casey, not him, she just referenced him. Once was a slip-up but she did it again. "Bryce, sweetheart, wasn't our Cabo vacation wonderful?" Casey looked embarrassed and Ellie was slowly getting mad. She hated Bryce Larkin with a passion and Sarah's references to Bryce with her brother sitting right there, well, unforgivable. But when she looked right at him and called him Bryce with that gushing 'wasn't Cabo wonderful' it was disgusting. Chuck just stared out the window, trying to ignore the whole thing.

Chuck apologized to Casey and Ellie for her behavior, explained that she was drunk, and then carried her up to her apartment. Luckily she had keys in her purse since this wasn't a mission.

Sarah's CIA ApartmentWashington, DC

He undressed her and pulled a t-shirt over her bra and panties and set the alarm for 5:30am and covered her. Casey was going to swing by and pick them up. He also placed a bottle of aspirin and a carafe of water on her nightstand.

There was no way he was sleeping with her that night. He didn't know if what she'd done was deliberate or the affect of the booze or just the events of the making his name a component of her subconscious. Either way she was sleeping alone. He found the linens and slept on the couch.

He let her sleep, postponing the inevitable discussion of the previous day and night. He'd slept soundly, no dreams worth remembering, and woke before the alarm. He took as quiet a shower as possible and dressed, waking her by calling her name repeatedly from the bedroom door and then making coffee.

She came for coffee, mumbled something that might have been 'good morning' but he wasn't sure, and then disappeared. At 5:57 Casey knocked at the door and Chuck let him in and handed him a cup of coffee.

"Quiet night?" Chuck looked tense and John figured that part of that was the medical exam that morning and the rest was a reflection of the tension in the apartment. Casey wanted to ask about the previous night but refrained. He'd dealt with an angry girlfriend last night and he didn't want to be reminded of the more eloquent portions of her rant.

"John, did you see his eye? She hit him. She's dangerous, that one. Never a peep about anything in her history during all those conversations over the months we lived together and last night I saw the real Sarah. And heard the real Sarah. 'Bryce, sweetheart, wasn't our Cabo vacation wonderful?' Disgusting. And he just sat there, never saying a thing, just making sure she was eating and keeping an eye on her."

"Ellie, Chuck handled it OK I thought. He's angry, no doubt. But it's not our place to intrude. He may be your baby brother but he's my responsibility in a more immediate sense. He adjusting and adapting. Let it go. They both had a long day yesterday and I'll bet tonight will be longer. If he noticed it didn't bother him. Let it go."

Casey saw the bunched throw pillows that had obviously been used and stopped trying to get a response from Chuck. He decided if Chuck wanted to talk about anything he'd bring it up himself.

"After medical, you have a series of interviews with Sarah's replacement candidates. Beckman says the final selection is yours. I'd say the General is being extremely supportive. But please do me one big favor. Don't pick one that'll make Ellie jealous. I have enough problems without adding jealous fiancé to the mix. Please?"

Chuck just nodded. Casey wondered if he'd really heard him or if he was on autopilot.

The bedroom door opened and a freshly-showered and made up Sarah walked into the kitchen, nodded to Casey, kissed Chuck on the cheek and stole his coffee and went back into the bedroom for something and then came back out and nodded to the two men.

"You both ready for this?" Casey noted the absolute lack of eye contact and the subtle frost between them. Oh, boy. And he had to spend the day with one or the other of them. Whatever had happened here last night was far from over. Walker didn't have the usual signs of a 'bad Chuck night', no puffy eyes, no tense jaw, no angry silences. This was more like 'bad Sarah night'.

He eyeballed his asset closely and saw a relaxed man with a horrible black eye and a scabbed-over gash that had probably needed stitches or at least a couple of butterflies. 'Rocky' Walker had definitely caught him with a good one. Casey winced when he imagined the General's reaction. Not good. Her prized bull gored by one of the herd. Oh, no, not good at all.

Sarah turned off the coffee, rinsed the cups and killed the lights.

"Traffic's going to be a bitch, John, let's get the jump on the Beltway, OK?"

Pool Car to Ft Meade

Chuck sat in the back, behind Sarah. He looked out the window at the passing scenery and tried to make his mind as blank as possible. He thought about his high school friends, about the people in the cars around them and he wondered what normal lives were like? Occasionally he'd kept his eyes closed for longer than a few seconds and Casey would be watching him, alert for a transition state. That's what the wizards at NSA called it, the preparatory period when Chuck 'dislocated'. A transition state.

Sarah finally had enough of the silence in the pool car and turned on the radio. The outside world rushed in as they listened to news of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the usual noise about Iran and Israel and of course, the slide of the US economy into the 30s. Nothing seemed to work and economic tensions were high. Doom and gloom.

NSA HeadquartersFT Meade, MD

Casey dropped Chuck off at the medical complex with broad instructions on meeting Dr. Bloom and her associates who would probably be waiting, syringes and scalpels in hand, for his arrival. Chuck just nodded, glanced at the back of Sarah's head and got out of the car. He was met by an extremely attractive brunette with very long hair wearing a lab coat and a huge smile of welcome. Obviously Dr. Bloom.

She turned to Casey and demanded an explanation for the previous night. "What the hell was that all about last night, Casey? You set us up for that confrontation at my apartment with the 'late report' and then you stirred the pot with all the dinner conversation. And why'd you have to bring up Bryce Larkin?"

He looked at her and shook his head. Selective amnesia or maybe selective memory. Considering how much tequila they'd both consumed, Ellie had not been sick nor apparently had Sarah. Amazing. Almost like they'd come prepared for a drinking bout. He'd have to think about that some other time.

"Ms. Walker, do you remember discussing Cabo last evening? You brought up places we'd both been and were comparing them, allegedly, as possible honeymoon locations. Do you remember that?"

Sarah nodded for him to continue.

"Do you remember turning to Chuck, the supposed love of your life and gushing 'Bryce, sweetheart, wasn't our Cabo vacation wonderful?'"?

She paled. Looked at Casey with pleading eyes and finally whispered, 'No, I couldn't have said that to him. Please, Casey, I didn't say that, did I?"

"Yes, and it was the second time you'd called him 'Bryce'. If he's distant today, you have a pretty good idea of why now. And I'd stay away from Ellie for a while. She's not too thrilled with you. Kept looking at Chuck's face then at you and I could hear the wheels turning. And last night I caught both barrels. Bryce and you came as a shock and all Chuck did was make sure you ate and kept half the booze away from you."

She remembered waking to a cold and empty bed but a bottle of aspirin and a full carafe of water by her bedside. But no Chuck and now she knew why. She gave a ragged sigh.

Casey drove over to the main building and told Sarah where to go and that he'd see her for lunch and give her a report on Chuck. He started to go to his first interviews but detoured to the General's office.

"Major Casey, your not on my schedule." She kept a strict schedule. Deviations were rare.

"A moment of your time, regarding the project. When you see Chuck, please ignore the obvious signs of a discussion between him and Walker. The Nightmare made herself known again but I think it's ok now. Please, ignore his face. Best to let it go."

She raised one eyebrow but let it go. She'd learned to respect Casey's judgment.

Medical FacilityHeadquartersFT Meade, MD

"Agent Bartowski, if you'd undress and put on these scrubs we'll get this over with as quickly as possible. I know most people hate their annuals and I've mastered the art of multi-tasking so as to minimize the time you have to spend here."

She continued talking as he changed behind a screen.

"First is a basic physical, probably 15 minutes. The long part will be the full skeletals and then the MRI and CT scans. Barring any delays or a third eye hidden in your hair you should be free of this joint by noon."

Chuck stuck his head around the screen and asked, "Are you really a doctor? I didn't get the chance to see your diplomas and 'I love me' wall. Could I see some ID please?"

She laughed. This would be a fun morning after all. From her briefing from the General she'd expected some James Bond or worse, Bryce Larkin, to be her patient. Instead there's this guy with a sense of humor and no agenda. Refreshing. Nothing like her briefing.

"Bartowski is cynical and deceptive and an obnoxious brat with abilities we desperately require. He's been through a lot lately and he's not in the best of shape. I want to know anything and everything about him, physically. I need to be certain he's ready for prime time again. He's also courageous, self-sacrificing and very reluctant to divulge any personal problems. Find them if there are any and report, Doctor. And run comparisons with the earlier reports."

While a nurse did the weighing in and blood gathering, she reviewed his personal and NSA medical files. Someone had obtained copies of his entire medical file up through…date of death! That couldn't be right. Also, he was 29 according to his files but the handsome man in her clutches was at least 40.

"Doctor Bloom, all done. Here are his stats and his initial charting. I'll run this to the lab and wait for the results." She smiled at Chuck and left.

"Very professional young lady, Dr. Bloom. Not one single 'tsk tsk' out of her." He'd been surprised how quickly and easily she'd gathered his information and his samples. This might just be a short experience.

"I only tolerate the best working with me. I'm anal about attention to detail and patient comfort. Now, I need to do a look-see at you, take some photos for the file and then muster you down to x-ray. We're seven minutes behind schedule and I promised the General you'd be free for lunch. So lose the scrubs, Agent Bartowski. I've seen it all before."

Chuck just shrugged and pulled off his scrubs and stood there. The doctor had pointed to a device and asked him to stand between the two panels. He walked over stood between the two panels and a series of flashes signified photography. Again he was impressed and said so. Still not looking at him but at he file, she motioned him to sit.

When Lila Bloom turned to examine her patient she almost dropped her chart in shock. Chuck was standing with his back to her and she got the full blast of his back and buttocks. No human being should ever have been tortured like this. She cleared her throat and snapped on her latex gloves and ran her fingertips over his back. So much deep scarring and so much hate and anger in the scars. Someone had taken a distinct disliking to this man.

She saw the characteristic scars of a coat hanger whip as well as the isolated strand or two of scarring on his shoulder caps and lower back. There were also acid burns on his back. Some bastard had beaten this man and then poured an acidic solution on his handiwork to enhance his pain. The black eye was recent, within the last 24 hours.

"You should probably get a stitch or two for that gash. Run into a door, Agent? Fall down?"

"Something like that, Doctor Bloom. How about we compromise and you just stick a few butterflies to salve your medical conscience? My sister's an ER doc and she's attached here, Ellie Bartowski. I was her victim, patient, brother and I got to help her learn to give injections, stitches but I drew the line at enemas and catheters. So go ahead and do your thing if you think stitches are necessary. Who am I to question 8 years of college and med school and internship and residency and specialty training? I didn't finish my degree at Stanford."

"Please put on your scrubs, no sense catching cold, Agent. So Ellie's your sister? I didn't make the name connection. Still early for me. Not enough coffee yet." When she smiled, she showed her basic niceness. Refreshing. No deceit and no agenda.

"Well, when they whisk me off to radioactive land, feel free to drink one for me, too."

She laughed and shaved a bit of eyebrow off and then stitched the gash closed. She had a gentle hand and Chuck had the urge to just grab it and thank her for not treating him like meat.

"There. Took four but then I suppose you're used to it by now, Agent Bartowski. So how's it feel to have a little sister following you around the career path?"

"Weird. And she's three years older than I am. She's well preserved. All that tequila."

They both laughed although Lila wondered about the age thing. He was 40 if he was a day. Must be a family joke. But the NSA had no sense of humor and the file said he was 29.

"Off to x-ray with you. Don't dawdle, the CT and MRIs won't take long and we should be finished up well before you lunch date."

An attendant appeared with a wheel chair and took him down the hall to x-ray and then on to his CT and MRI.

When he was finished and had been 'delivered' back to the exam room, Lila was waiting for him with two cups of coffee and all the trimmings.

"Go ahead. We're done here and with 23 minutes to spare giving you a whole 53 minutes to explain to me who the hell you really are and what happened to the real Chuck Bartowski." He noticed two NSA men standing in the back of the exam room. Obviously muscle.

Chuck sighed. He figured this would happen. Ahn-Zhu had explained it but he didn't figure it would be so obvious.

"Since I don't want to have to do this 20 times, let's get the General and Major Casey in here, plus whoever else wants to listen. Spare you some time on your busy schedule, Dr. Bloom."

"OK, but you'll have to stay here with these gentlemen while I make the necessary calls."

"Fine. Just quit torturing me and let me have my coffee, please?"

NSA HeadquartersConference Room

Chuck sat quietly with his hands in his lap. Handcuffs brought back memories of old times in the meat business. He hated the reminders. At least they'd allowed him to get dressed in his street clothes although they kept the tie, belt and shoelaces and his wallet and iPhone.

"So, General, I compared the x-rays from his original file supplied by Dr. Bartowski to the ones we took here and then I compared the MRI results with the records in his file and on file here at the NSA."

"Two years ago, x-rays of Bartowski show no breaks in the legs, ribs or right arm. Apparently he broke his left arm sometime before the age of 12 based on calcification of the bone break points. Current x-rays show two breaks in the left leg, three in the right, two breaks in the right arm and two in the left. Additionally, we have evidence of broken ribs and a recent shoulder separation that is healing at an astounding rate and a skull fracture that should have been fatal."

"The calcification of the breaks in his legs and arms and ribs definitely indicate that they occurred between 5 and 7 years ago. The body works at a steady pace to build up protection over the break areas."

"Also, he's missing his spleen, several feet of small intestine and a portion of one lung."

"This man is not Charles Bartowski. He can't be unless he's replaced his bones with someone else's. Also, the MRIs do not match. There is an astonishing change in the activity patterns of this man's brain as compared earlier records of Charles Bartowski.

And there have been no surgical procedures performed."

Chuck sat across the table from the General, Casey, Sarah and some others he didn't know. He'd just stared at the patterns on the table top and tried to develop a narrative for the past 8 years. There were things he just couldn't discuss with these outsiders. And there were things he'd have to say that would end whatever might have been between him and Sarah Walker. He figured Casey would just accept it and move on. The General would be more open, but less inclined to be merciful. He should have just accepted death. Easier on all concerned.

"Well, sir, who are you and who do you work for? And what happened to Charles Bartowski? Is he dead? Held captive? Has he defected?"

He sighed and looked up at Sarah. Her gaze met his but there was none of the love and affection usually found there. Now there was hate and something he couldn't quite identify.

"When I was 29, I died from injuries sustained in conjunction with a classified operation in the San Diego area. I wasn't ready to die. I had found something, er, someone, who I couldn't leave so I left here and went there. There being Tibet, specifically a mountain pass above a glacier that fed a lake. Beside the lake was a walled village and my old teacher, Ahn-Zhu."

"She knew I was coming, don't ask me how. She and a group of villagers were making the trek up the mountain to meet me and aid me in my recovery. At 22,000 feet the air is thin and cold and by the time I'd gotten down to the track across the glacier it was growing dark. By that time I'd become half blind and my face, ears, hands and feet were severely frostbitten. All I had was a parka and an ice axe."

"I don't know how long I stumbled, staggered, shambled, fell and crawled but I knew I had to get to the tree line before dark or they would be out and hunting. I had no desire to become yeti shit so I tried to run. Big mistake. Near-blind plus running plus glacier equals disaster."

"I ran right into a group of yeti from the rear. They were battling with An-Zhu and the villagers and were losing but dark helped them and hampered my rescuers. I had no choice but to attack them from the rear and aid my Teacher and her friends. I killed two or three, I don't really remember how many, they didn't expect to be hit from behind so it was easy."

"One big brute on the end of the line saw me and attacked. I didn't see him. Shit, by this time I couldn't see anything. He grabbed me and literally tried to tear me apart. I slammed my axe into his mouth to keep him from my throat and it cut through and severed his lower jaw and he broke that arm, then the other and then he grabbed me in a bear hug and broke my ribs and that's when my spleen and intestines ruptured and my lung was perforated."

"He couldn't eat me with his lower jaw gone so he did the next best thing, he broke my legs so I couldn't run and called his pals for a Bartowski buffet. Ahn-Zhu and her friends had taken care of the other yetis and then surprised and killed this one."

"I don't remember much after that except I got warm somehow and then there was a terrible argument in the village about saving me and then the healing started. Apparently the argument was that closing the gate would alter their plan but Ahn-Zhu won the argument. After a time, she called Ellie. To this day I don't know how. There were no phones, there wasn't even electricity. My Team and my sister came to get me and well, here I am, Chuck Bartowski, 36 or 37 years of age, time traveler."

"May I have a glass of water, please?" No one moved. No one breathed. No one said a word. Except Dr. Bloom.

"Oh, my God, what a load of crap. Abominable snowmen, time travel, San Diego to Tibet, first class, no doubt. What a load of"

"Dr. Bloom. Shut your mouth. I was there. I saw the yeti. I saw the village. I saw the village disappear as we made our way up the slopes. Ahn-Zhu said they had a schedule to keep. Our guide was worried about missing his ride home."

"Forensics be damned, he's telling the truth. It's the only explanation that is possible. As for his injuries, you've never seen 800 pounds of pissed off yeti slam into a 1200 pound pony, gut it with one hand and then throw it aside like a broken toy."

Casey got up and walked around the table and offered Chuck his hand.

Welcome home, Chuck. You're older than I am now, OLD FART!"

"Not so fast, Major. Mr. Bartowski, where have you been if you've been gone long enough to have healed and aged those bone breaks?" Dr. Bloom was like a dog with a bone.

"Not where, Dr. Bloom. When. Time flows differently for them when they slip sideways. I asked and I never understood the answer. They've been around a while. There have been legends and of course people like Ahn-Zhu herself fuel those tales of immortality and youth. That's crap, as you say. They age. Just differently. Why, beats the crap out of me. I just benefited from their kindness, not criticized it."

"There are other things I cannot and will not discuss even to save my life. I gave my word and I never break it. So, there it is. Do as you will. I never should have crossed over. I was selfish and didn't want to lose the best thing in my life. I should just have accepted my fate, my destiny, and gone to the grave. But I'd made someone a promise, you see, and I could not break it. Not to her."

"Doesn't matter now. Shoot me or give me the needle. I'm tired. And I'm tired of being mistrusted, pitied, examined, judged, ridiculed, doubted, played and used. Do it or I'll damned well do it myself."

"I want the room cleared except for this man, Dr. Bloom and Major Casey. The rest of you have no interest in the outcome, obviously, except perhaps, morbid ,curiosity and you are dismissed with the warning that this is code word sensitive. And someone bring this man a glass of water, please."

The General's eyes bored into Sarah Walker's. She'd been watching Walker during Chuck's monologue and was very disturbed by the absence of any feelings in the young woman. She'd been surprised by Casey's passionate defense but disappointed in Walker's total lack of support or even interest. What was going on here?

"Ms. Walker, do you wish to remain?"

"If I can, yes. If he will allow it, yes I will."

"Sir, do you object to her staying?"

"It's her time, General. She can do as she pleases. She usually does."

"Now, Chuck, tell us what you couldn't in front of the others. I know you. There is more to the story, probably the most entertaining part. And someone take those cuffs off him. The last time he wore them someone killed him. That's not going to happen again."

"Dr. Bloom, the skull fracture you found was the result of being thrown 30 or 40 feet down the glacier as a last effort by the last yeti, my friend, the stomper. Ice and I did not meet well and I suffered damage to my brain stem. Please understand, doctor, I'm telling you what I was told. I can't remember squat from the time the yeti tried to take my head off until 6 months or so before my team appeared."

"They do have technology but I have no idea how it works. Ahn-Zhu put me in a 'jar' of some kind filled with liquid and told me I'd be fine, not dream, and when I awoke I would be healed. Apparently that process took 6 of our years. And before you blow a gasket, I know this in retrospect."

"My first real memory after the fight on the glacier was pain and an inability to move or speak. Nothing made sense. I lived in a world of complete darkness and it seemed that every time I slept I was back in that damned meat locker with someone throwing something on my back that burned like hellfire. Every time I slept. I could hear but no one spoke English. I couldn't see and it felt like my face, hands and feet belonged to someone else. There was no feeling in them. None at all. It was like touching wax."

"Gradually I began to see shadows out of my right eye and someone, I don't know who, was trying to teach me how to walk but I don't remember much of that at all. What I do remember is always, and I mean always being cold. To the bone."

"I don't know how long this went on when Ahn-Zhu returned and took over my therapy, repair, recovery, whatever you want to call it. She taught me to talk again, and that was a trip. I could think fine, but whatever connected the thought to the tongue, well, it was broken. She also taught me some techniques for pain control but I could never use them on me. They just didn't work. She gave me some song and dance about altruism and I just bitched her out for teaching me shit that I couldn't use to kill the pain. I guess that's when the 'Undisciplined Scholar' lost his temper and decided to go home. I missed someone. And I was afraid she'd moved on without me. I didn't blame her, but it pissed me off anyway."

"I ended up halfway up the glacier and lost, blind and really pissed off, mostly at me. What made sense in a warm bed was idiocy on the glacier. And I wasn't alone."

Sarah gasped and Casey just stared at him. The General never blinked and the good doctor was taking notes like mad for the cross-examination.

"The yetis and humans have been at war since before people kept track of such things. Humanity was winning and the yeti had retreated to caves and high places to try and eke out a meager existence."

"The one that found me had just put her child in a burial cairn. I don't know whether it was the mother instinct or what but she carried me to the wood line and left me beside a woodcutter's tent."

"The rest you know. Ahn-Zhu was exasperated and finally asked me who I was so desperate to return to. She thought I was going to stay with her. Nope. No way. So I told her. And gave her three questions to ask for validation of my existence and that's the rest of the story. Took you guys another 6 months to show up. I guess I wasn't 1 on your To Do List."

"Gotta be honest, though, the old brain has been scrambled a few times and I might have the order or sequence wrong. Dying, Dr. Bloom, does tend to mess with the thought processes."

"Oh, one last thing, if this all has a favorable outcome, I will not stay in the God Damned Truck again."

Chuck filled and drank another glass of water and then turned to Dr. Bloom.

"Your witness, counselor." Snarky to the end.

"No questions, General."

"And his account? How does it compare with the other one?"

"A few differences, different memories of different stages, of course they hadn't been tortured the way Agent Bartowski had been, but essentially identical enough to have been written or told by the same person."

"But that was 1919, doctor. How could the same woman be in both accounts?"

"Don't know. Ask Chuck. It was his girlfriend." Dr. Bloom couldn't resist the dig. She'd watched Sarah Walker also and was tempted to smack her for abandoning one who'd given so much for her. When she'd reported Chuck's injury to the General, it hadn't been pretty. "I want her gone. Keep her away from him."

She'd reconsidered since Casey told her she was overreacting. But she did plan on separating them for a cooling off period. She knew Chuck would not understand but she hoped Walker would use the time to consider andappropriate' action plan.

"Well, Chuck? Was your Ahn-Zhu the woman from 1919?"

"General, with all due respect, how the hell would I know? She graduated from UCLA Medicine in 1943 according to Ellie. Back tracking from say 33 that would make her born in 1910. How old was the woman you're talking about, Lila?"

She smiled broadly at the use of her first name. "A small oriental woman of Tibetan or Nepalese ancestry helped me regain my sight using ointments and poultices and cautioned me to seek proper medical care when I returned home. She was very womanly with long black hair and the most delicate fingers I've ever had run through my hair. When first she met me, she called me her Scholar but later just John because she'd consulted her auguries and found he hadn't yet been born. She told me she was 45 but didn't look more than 19 or 20."

"Chuck, that's an account of a early 20th century explorer and climber of his discovery and loss of a city in the Himalayas. A walled city called…"

"Shangri-La" whispered Chuck. Lila beamed her approval and something else no one but Sarah saw. General Beckman noted the exchange and smiled. Step one accomplished.

"I think that wraps this up. It's late and I have meetings to attend. Dr. Bloom, thank you for your usual thorough job. Major Casey, have you finished interviewing the applicants for the replacement position on the Team yet?"

"Yes, General. Narrowed it to three and all Chuck has to do is pick one. All are from NSA and thoroughly, and I mean thoroughly, vetted and investigated. Chuck, feel up to spending time with three candidates? If not today, tomorrow then."

"Casey, I'd like to be done with all this so let's just keep on going. I would, however, appreciate a few minutes at the commissary. Haven't eaten since last evening and that wasn't all that much."

"Sure, we'll stop off on the way to our offices."

Sarah left the conference room alone and feeling desolate. She'd been enraged that the doctor had proven that the man she'd given herself to so freely was not her Chuck but an imposter. She wanted to kill him. But then the evidence swung back and he was her Chuck and it had all been a ruse to validate information on the walled city. He was still her Chuck. The question now was whether she was still the woman he wanted to be with?

The commissary was fairly crowded but people seemed to scurry out of his way as he approached the line. "Casey, is it my imagination or do these people seem, I don't know, afraid of me or what? I use a deodorant."

Casey laughed. "I don't know, Chuck. I told you to get more sun. You look like you should be on life-support." He was kidding but Chuck didn't take it that way.

"Casey, I look sick or I look, um, dead? Are you just trying to tell me I look dead? Do I? Oh, shit. Why didn't someone tell me? Do I stink like a corpse, too? Jesus, no wonder Walker wants out. Too many dead guys in her bed. Shit. Casey, I need to talk to Beckman. I want the hole in the ground. I won't be the cause of all this, this fear."

Dr. Bloom walked in and got in line behind them. She caught just the last part of his comments to Casey.

"Agent Bartowski, it's not fear, it's awe. You've developed quite the underground following. When you were reported killed in the line of duty, I'm surprised there weren't memorial services held here. And then the rumor started that you'd turned up in the Himalayas living as a monk in a Tibetan monastery, well, the 'little people' were amazed and excited. Especially when the rumor mill ginned out the report that you were coming here. Most people avoid the commissary on Wednesdays. 'Mystery Meat' is not a favorite item."

Chuck sighed. "Casey, unless you're starved, let's get the interviews out of the way. I've lost my appetite."

"No, you have to eat. You are 30 pounds under your lowest weight and nearly 40 pounds off the ideal. You need the food for energy, Chuck. You need to rebuild your reserves and general health."

She stepped closer and almost whispered "you need a good home-cooked meal, several of them. Here's my card with my home cell. Give me a call if you get 'hungry'. I'm a really good cook, Chuck."

She turned and left. Step two accomplished.

"You know, you might not live to see 41 if Walker sees you and the doc together. She's hot but Walker's armed and dangerous." Step 3 accomplished. Casey chuckled at the General's deviousness.

"OK, I'll eat then I want to finish up those interviews and get the Team back together. Sarah's someone else's problem, Casey. There's no hope there now. Fucking Bryce is deader than me but still gets the girl. Well, it won't take dying again to show me the error of my ways."

Crap. Last night rears its ugly head and Chuck thinks Walker's still hung up on the dead boyfriend. Lila was a bit too 'come hither, Chuck' and Walker never made a peep in the interrogation room. And Chuck thinks Sarah's gone by default because of the fraternization rule and isn't moving towards marriage because of Bryce and Cabo. What a mess.

Interview Room

"Chuck, what do you think of him? Solid, reliable, no baggage, single. The only drawback I can see is the he reminds me of Larkin. I can live with it, but can you?"

"Doesn't much matter, Casey. Not at all. But I'd like to see the other two just to be fair and thorough. Pencil Bryce in as a…shit. I called him Bryce didn't I? Ron, dammit, Ron, pencil him in as a possible and let's move on."

"What about her? Excellent weapons skills, speaks 4 languages, laughs at your dumb jokes and doesn't believe you hung the moon. Must be nice to meet some one who doesn't want to kiss your feet and sit and listen to you tell them about the underside of the rock or some such mumbo jumbo."

"Probable unless the third one is unique. I'm getting tired, John. Let's move it along. I'm getting fuzzy, too. Don't need to display Alzheimer's in front of the fans."

Alerted, Casey pulled his cell and dialed a number, keyed in a code and then hung up.

"OK, let's see who's behind curtain number 3, Casey."

"God damn you, John. Are you out of your mind? My sister is not going to get involved in this back-stabbing, betraying, undercutting, deceitful, duplicitous, murderous and unethical world I'm stuck in. Not only no, HELL no. Let's go with door 2. I always wanted to learn to speak Urdu and she can teach me."

"Chuck, you don't have a choice. She's my new partner. We're still interviewing for yours. Handler that is. Walker's gone so she needs to be replaced."

Chuck looked at him and smiled. "Agent Walker will not appreciate you spending time with her girlfriend, Major. Not appreciate it at all. You need to choose another."

Casey looked at Chuck wondering if this was some kind of trick, or an act of some kind. He hadn't been briefed on Chuck's micro-Alzheimer moments. He flipped out and hit the panic button and dialed the PA and shouted "Medical Emergency Conference 2" and then asked Chuck to sit back down and relax.

Dr. Bloom ran into the room followed by 2 nurses and a pair of orderlies with a gurney.

"Hello, I'm Chuck. Have we met? I remember…I think… no, I can't remember. Major Casey, I'm tired. Call Ahn-Zhu please. Thank you for coming all this way but I am going to stay. And I'm too tired to go anyway."

Lila whispered 'Stroke?' to Casey and he just shrugged his shoulders. "Call his sister, Major, she might know."

Ten minutes later Ellie came in and saw her brother asleep on the gurney. "What's the emergency? Is it Chuck?"

"We were arguing about you on the team and he looked at me funny and said Agent Walker wouldn't like me spending so much time around her girlfriend. It's like he's had a stroke or something."

"Or something. He's fine, but he must be exhausted and stressed. Ahn-Zhu said it happens when his brain is trying to catch up his memory. We thought it was early onset of Alzheimer's in Tibet until she explained it. Parts of Chuck's memories are lost in another time and he has to relearn or it's his mind catching up with his body. Both are possible. It's embarrassing to him, nothing more. In a year or two it should abate totally."

"Good. It's hard enough accepting him as Chuck without adding his 'little kid' mentality to the mix."

"So what did he say about me on the team?" She was looking forward to sharing her life with John and Chuck, her two favorite men.

"Basically, no."

"Bet he said more."

"Yes, he did."

"Care to share?"

"Later, maybe."

"OK"

"Casey, I want to keep him overnight and hook up the machines and make sure it's not something else. He's been through so much and we've never had the opportunity to do an EEG to ensure there's no traumatic epilepsy or something else that may have been caused by the trauma. Casey, his brain stem was injured and he lived. Incredible. He's incredible. And not bad looking either. For an older guy."

They both laughed but Ellie was not amused.

"He's not a science experiment, Lila. He's a dynamic human being with incredible caring skills that can also turn you into a pile of slag with two words and a twitch. You should have seen him whacking those yetis with his ice axe. Like some Viking with a case of the ass. So don't screw with him, Lila. Walker won't like it, Casey won't like it and I definitely won't like it. And don't play him either. He's had more than enough of that shit from us women."

"He's a man, Ellie. I know that. And he's hurt and I'm a healer. His back spasms and he just rides it out. Never a peep. Don't any of you care enough to try and help him?"

"Didn't know until yesterday. He told Beckman but not me, his sister the doctor."

"I'd like to try some massage techniques my sister taught me. Maybe give him a few day's relief if that's OK with you two."

"Do it. You should see him sometimes. All he can do is grunt the pain is so bad."

She told her orderlies where to take him and what equipment to prepare and followed them down the hall to Medical.

"So he rejected me, John, his own sister?"

"For all the right reasons, honey. Love, safety, fear and anger. But you'll wear him down. Now if only Walker will get her head out of her ass…"

Sarah sat in her apartment in DC wondering where her whatever he was, was. She called Casey.

"Casey, secure."

"Walker, secure. Where's Chuck, John?"

"Undergoing some tests. He had a mini-Alzheimer's and they want to run some brain crap and let him sleep under monitored conditions. Lila Bloom is the attending so he's in good hands. Scared the crap out of me. We were reviewing candidates, well, you know how it goes."

"Who's going to be with him if he dreams? You know he almost never goes a night without a screamer after one of these. Are they prepped for that?"

"Don't know. I'm not medical. Call Bloom and let her know what to expect and what to do. I've never been through one. I think only you and Ahn-Zhu, the two people he…trusted. Look, I'm driving down to DC you want to talk about this mess? I don't say much but I'm a good listener. Just wake me when you want my opinion."

"No, thanks. I'm going to bed. I have options to explore tomorrow with Beckman. I really am not in the mood for conversation." She started to cry. "I need him, Casey and I miss him and I was so drunk and stupid. What am I going to do?"

Casey handed the phone to Ellie. "Here, it's for you."

NSA Medical Dispensary

"Bloom, secure.

"Walker, secure. He needs someone in his room, doctor. He has horrible flashback dreams of his torture. He needs to be held and whispered to that he's safe and that he killed them all, all six of them and that he made it back OK. If you don't he's going to keep on screaming and repeating the dream. It's horrible but necessary. Not every night now, only 3 times in a week in Greece but it's about time for one – especially after this afternoon's event." It was obvious to Lila that she'd been crying. The sniffling and voice tremors were dead giveaways.

"Thank you, Ms. Walker, I'll alert the staff duty nurse before I go home in a few minutes. A dream would be interesting since we're running tapes and EEGs right now. Thank you for calling this to my attention."

"Casey, secure."

"Walker, secure. They're running tests on him, Casey, not to find things to fix but to find things to study. She wants him to dream. Thinks it would be interesting since they're running tapes and EEGs. The damned doctor isn't even staying around; a nurse will make sure he doesn't injure himself. God damn it, the NSA promised, YOU promised, no tests, and no experiments. Is this how you keep your word? He saved your life, my life, and this is his repayment?"

"Walker, it's none of your business anymore. You're been relieved and your new assignment hasn't been decided yet, has it?"

"No, it hasn't."

"Then you're on vacation, free to do what you want, where you want, understood?"

"Thanks, John. I understand."

"Bloom, secure."

"Casey, secure. Go. Now. She's on the way unless she's really dim, Lila.

"Well, she is CIA, or was. And she did dump him. He's mmmm so handsome." She finished dumping one of four syringes into the IV port. Give him a few hours of this and the 'suggestions' made when he first arrived and been 'examined', he'd be well into Phase 4 of the re-conditioning.

"Lila, she'd gut you and leave you in your own mess if she catches you with him. Go home. Now."

"OK. Party pooper."

"Piece of shit pool car. Wait until I get a permanent assignment and get my Porsche out of storage. I could have been there 20 minutes ago." She yelled this 25 minutes after leaving DC for the 30-minute trip to FT Meade.

"Damn the NSA. 'No tests, Chuck. No experiments, Chuck. Just a physical, Chuck.' They don't care anything about him, just their frikkin' precious intersect."

She opened the door to the Medical Unit and showed her ID to the duty nurse.

"I'm sorry but visiting hours are over and he's not permitted visitors anyway." The duty nurse had a death wish.

"I'm his protective detail so I'm not a visitor. Thank you. Have a nice day." Chew on that you Sesame Street character.

She opened the door to his room and drew the plastic curtains over the viewing window. No voyeurs.

She recognized the EEG and the heart monitor and the other gizmos so she knew he was being monitored, not tested or treated. "If anyone is going to 'treat' him it's me."

She kicked off her shoes and crawled up on the bed and put her arms around him and softly whispered nonsense in his ear while running her fingers through his hair. She would kidnap him, drag his ass across the line to Virginia and get married then return to duty as Mrs. Charles Bartowski, wife of the handsome older man. She giggled and Chuck stirred a bit, figured out who it was in bed with him and then sighed and went back to sleep.

She'd been in the commissary when Chuck and Casey walked in. She'd hoped to catch him alone and talk to him, apologize, beg him to come home with her but she'd been surprised by the number of people, mostly women who were milling around. She'd heard someone say, "Here he comes" and figured it was someone's surprise birthday party or something but she heard one of the older women say that she'd seen him coming out of the General's office and he was a lot older than she'd expected.

The normal chatter quieted down when Chuck and Casey entered the room. He'd put on his belt and tie and he looked yummy in his Savile Row suit. She was appalled to see that other women were openly staring at him. Sarah got up and left when she saw Dr. Bloom hand Chuck a business card and whisper something in his ear. He blushed and turned around and followed Casey through the line.

There was an almost collective sigh when Chuck finished eating and left.

This was ridiculous. He wasn't a movie star or some famous author or politician; he was simply Chuck Bartowski, nice guy and yeti slayer and the man who cheated death, her man.

NSA VIP Quarters

"Casey, what's the real reason Chuck doesn't want me on the team? Tell me."

"He loves you. He wants you to be normal and he wants you to be safe. You have no training, no abilities with self-defense, weapons, and so on. He wants you …innocent so when he goes home to you it's like Leave It to Beaver. I don't blame him, either."

"So you don't want me on the team, either?"

"I didn't say that. But if it was up to me, you'd never get within 10 miles of me again."

'I love you Ellie but this life and job, they're for dark people, not people like you who can live in the light. It makes a person mean and uncaring and shallow and very cynical."

"So yeah, I'd rather you stayed my sweet Ellie that I know I can count on to be my constant in the changing spy world, and as far removed from all this as possible."

Walker woke up exactly on time and slipped out of his bed and into her shoes and then left. She didn't want him finding her in his bed. He needed to feel strong in his own skin and she would have all the rest of their lives to hold him while he slept.

Chuck crawled out of the hospital bed still tired but committed to finishing what he'd started the previous day before he apparently fell into the Alzheimer's loop. He needed to finish his discussion with Casey. Ellie couldn't be on his team for all the same reasons Sarah Walker couldn't be on his protective detail. Emotions clouded reason and a clouded reasoning made for poor decisions. Poor decisions made for dead agents and assets. Dead agents and assets made for failed missions. Ergo, Ellie and Sarah would cause missions to fail.

He showered and dressed, feeling somewhat better but mentally still on the ropes from his personally devastating decision. She would not understand. And she would lash out at him and leave. Ellie would not understand and she would lash out at him and leave.

They all left him in the end. This time he would sever the link and it would be his decision and burden. He'd have to consider replacing Casey, too, since he'd end up resenting Chuck for the loss of his and that would lead to anger and tension on the team that he didn't need. That would lead to failed missions.

He hadn't shaved and the stubble snagged at his shirt collar and irritated him. So unprofessional. And he needed to appear ultra-professional with the General.

In the back of his mind he began building his wall, his personal Great Wall, the Bartowski equivalent of Hadrian's Wall, only instead of keeping out the barbarian hordes it would keep out the soft and gentle aspects of a world he could no longer be part of. He would use the leftover mortar to patch up the cracks in his own heart.

He button-holed the General's Chief of Staff in the commissary at the coffee machine and asked him to pencil in a few minutes with the General sometime that morning. It was important but would not require much time.

Normally the colonel would have resented being approached by an Agent for 'dispensation' but this one was different. He liked the affable young man. He'd known Bartowski 'before' and had tolerated his antics with amusement but he liked this Bartowski 'after' because he'd matured and somehow found himself and his purpose. He'd watched the video of the packing plant like so many others and found it both horrifying and inspiring, so much so that he'd recommended that it be used in the initial agency screening process – after appropriate editing.

"Fine, Bartowski. Fifteen minutes be enough?" He knew the General would give him the day if it were needed. Bartowski had purpose. And it was the General's same purpose.

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir, and I'm sorry to approach you like this but I figured it would give you time to review the schedule before your day's plan was shattered by the first phone call."

"Bartowski, you have grown up. I'm glad you're back, but don't let this job grind you down, son. You look like death warmed over. I'll call with the appointment time."

"Colonel, you have no idea how accurate you are. I'll await your call, sir, and thank you again for your time."

Beckman's Office

"Chuck, this is a precipitous decision, even from you. I cannot fault the logic of your argument, however. Fine. It shall be as you wish. But Chuck, be careful what you wish for, you may get it." She was thinking back to her decision to send a younger Bartowski what he wanted, The Nightmare.

"General, ma'am, I have two requests, favors, boons, whatever. I want Walker assigned to totally safe duties and my sister to be disqualified from serving. Invent logical reasons but they cannot be part of this. And, reassign John Casey. His resentment towards me will be overwhelming and detrimental to mission success."

My God, what has happened? Where was the likable but obnoxious brat who brought such panache to life? Who the hell was this man sitting here? For all intents and purposes he was eliminating everyone and everything in his life that gave him life. And it was heartbreaking but necessary; these were dire times. Bloom had been correct in her assessment of what made him tick. Isolation form his emotional support structure would make conditioning fast and easy.

"I'll have Walker returned to Los Angeles to her previous assignment, and Casey will go with her and be in charge of… something appropriate to his skills and so he and Dr. Bartowski will be in the same city at least. Nature will take its course. But Chuck…"

"Thank you, General. I've taken up 13 minutes of your busy day. I'll get out of your hair. And thank you for arranging the intersect update. Old data leads to faulty decisions and that leads to failed mission objectives. Have a good day."

Sarah Walker's CIA Apartment

"Walker, secure."

"Casey, secure. You get new orders, Sarah?"

"Yes, you bastard. How could you do this to Chuck and me? I see your hand in it. What did you do, tell Beckman all about the drunken comment?"

"I got orders, too. I'm off the team and assigned to Los Angeles as a "Regional Coordinator of Operations". Ellie got bounced from the program for 'psychological reasons' and Chuck's gone. No one will tell me where, either. Sarah, you're my new assistant. I think Chuck's taken care of us, got us out of harm's way and made some kind of deal with Beckman to do it. I know he's not in detention. I think he's…setting up a death squad and going full bore against Fulcrum and anyone else who threatens the greater good. Seven agents have already been arrested here at Headquarters just since this morning. Someone's shaking the trees."

"Casey, what are we going to do? I need him in my life, John. There's a big hole where he used to be. It's just like after the packing plant. It's like he's dead, John, and this time there's no happy ending, no second chance, no Ahn-Zhu to call us to come and get him."

"Look, Ellie and I are moving in together in her old apartment. It's just sitting there and she's been paying rent on it. Nothing's changed. Come on out to LA with us and we'll support each other as best we can. Ellie will need you and you'll need us."

"I'll think about it, John. Right now I'm just too shocked to even put together many more sentences. I'll talk to you and Ellie later this evening. I'm going to ask for an appointment with Beckman. She owes us for bringing her weapon back to her and I'm calling in her marker."

NSA HeadquartersOffice of the Chief of Staff 8am

"I'm sorry, Ms. Walker, but the General's schedule is full for the next two days. She's very busy with some new operations and has no time, not even for her physical therapy. I'm sorry. I'll pass along your request but I just don't know when she'll have time."

Conference Area - Beckman's Office

The Director of Personnel was sitting at the conference table with the rest of the senior staff.

"General, this Bartowski is decimating our agency staff. There have been seven arrests as of this morning. Seven! He's got everyone looking over their shoulder to see if they're going to be next. This has got to stop."

"Those arrested have all confessed without, I might add, the least coercion. The evidence against them proved conclusive before the arrests. I reviewed and approved the actions. I am also demanding that you further harden your review and vetting process. Traitors in the ranks cannot be tolerated. Two of those arrested had just been given clean sheets by your department. You missed critical areas of review. Intolerable. Next item."

"Mr. Bartowski has requested replacement of his entire team, General, with specific assignments to those being replaced. I find this most unusual and must…"

"MUST? Make those assignments happen, now. Create the jobs, if necessary. Next item?"

"His requirements for his replacements are…unusual. Weapons training, languages, unmarried, no dependents, no attachments and his requirements for the female member of the team are…scandalous. I'll never meet his qualifications, never."

"Contact Regis Petrella at DEA. Request Carina Hansen. She'll fill the bill. Next item…?"

VIP QuartersThree days later

Chuck Bartowski looked at himself in the mirror. He was searching for something that he knew he'd recognize when he saw it, like an old friend you haven't seen in years spotted in a crowd. No luck. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow he'd find the 29-year-old Nerd and ask him what the hell happened. Who was this old man staring back at him? And why was he crying?

NSA Strike Team FacilitiesFT Meade, MD15 days later

Charles Bartowski sat at the head of the briefing room table and looked at his new team. Still one slot open but the other four were filled. Still waiting for the sweet spot on the blade. Damned personnel weenies.

"I'm Chuck Bartowski. Call me Chuck. You are here because you've agreed to undertake a task on behalf of your country. When it's done, those of us who are still here will be able to look anyone anywhere in the eye and know that we were the best – ever."

"None of us have outside attachments. If you form one, tell me. I'll have you reassigned without dishonor. We are all we need and can have. We're still short one team member. The sweet spot."

"Our mission is simple. Kill everything Fulcrum that lives. Destroy everything Fulcrum that stands. We get what we need when we need it. We are the tip of the spear."

"No one dies without my permission. I've been dead. Trust me, you won't like it. You have the rest of the week to tie up the lose ends of your life. That means sell your car, house, apartment, and furniture, anything that won't fit into a pair of suitcases. I'll see you all back here Monday morning. Hopefully we'll have a full complement. If you're having second thoughts, and you're crazy if you're not, see me after the meeting for a private, non-recorded, never-happened meeting."

NSA Strike Team FacilitiesFT Meade, MDOne week later

"Hi, I'm looking for Agent Bart…Chuck? Wh-wh-what the hell happened to you? You're… where's Walker? I'm going to kick her butt for not warning me or something. So, uh, Chuck? Say something?"

"Hello, Carina. Walker's in L.A. I think. Casey's there, too. Look, you know the rules. Get settled in and I'll introduce you to the rest of the team. But first I have to give you what they call 'The Speech' so pull up a chair."

Hansen waited two months before calling Sarah Walker. She wanted to be on firm ground before she called.

"Walker, secure."

"Hansen, secure. Nightmare, what the hell happened to Chuck? And I thought you and he… Oh, hell. He's like you were, only colder and more shut off. Talk to me, Sar'."

"There's nothing to say. We – he – I don't understand what happened. One day we're talking about getting married and then…I did something incredibly stupid when Ellie and I were drunk."

She told her best friend, her only friend now, the entire story, from walking into the BuyMore to leaving DC for the last time.

"Sarah, he's missing you. I mean, he's got this big hole where his heart used to be. When he smiles, if he smiles, it's such a sad thing. He's built this wall around himself and no one can get in or over or under it."

"I know, Carina, but it's my fault and I can't change history. Is – is- is he seeing anyone? There's this doctor at NSA Headquarters, Lila Bloom, is he…" She started to cry. It was all she'd seemed to do in the months since she'd been reassigned.

"No. He's like a monk. If he's not in the gym he'a in Medical for the 'immunity system restoration' or he's in his office reading reports and if he's not any of those places he's either in with the HQ staff or asleep or preparing for a mission. One of the guys went to deliver a message from the General and he came out white as a sheet. He said 'the chief is crying and the tears have frozen on his cheeks."

Carina promised to stay in touch, keeping her in the loop as much as she could, within the strict rules he'd imposed.

"He won't talk to me except on business. I'm just another one of his appendages. We've run eleven successful missions since I got here. He's given the team a week off. I asked him where he was going for his break and he said 'I have no place to go and here is as good as any other place. I can't go home, not any more. Have a good time, Carina, but remember the rules'."

"What rules, Carina?"

"It's from 'The Speech' he gives the newbies, and we've lost 3 of the original team and 7 of the replacements so far."

"Tell me, damn you, don't make me pull teeth to get an answer. You're worse than Casey."

I've memorized 'The Speech'. Here goes, but I can't get it as right as he does. He makes you believe it."

"You are here because you've agreed to undertake a task on behalf of your country. When it's done, those of us who are still here will be able to look anyone anywhere in the eye and know that we were the best – ever."

"None of us have outside attachments. If you form one, tell me. I'll have you reassigned without dishonor. We are all we need and can have. Our mission is simple. Kill everything Fulcrum that lives. Destroy everything Fulcrum that stands. We get what we need when we need it. We are the tip of the spear. No one dies without my permission. I've been dead. Trust me, you won't like it."

"Scary, huh Sar'? Look, I have to go. I'll keep you in the loop. Check the dailies for after-action reports. Look for references to Team Yeti. Stupid name, but he picked it."

"Casey, secure."

"Walker, secure. Good morning, Casey. I need a favor. Can you get me clearance to see the after-action reports on a strike team?"

"Sure. Name?"

"Team Yeti."

"Sorry, Sarah, even I can't see them. So far up the chain the air is thin."

"Ok. Thanks anyway."

"Hey, you heard anything I can tell Ellie? You seem to have a 'source' still."

She told him what Carina had told her. Summarizing. She didn't know the speech word for word, just the highlights. 'I've been dead. Trust me you won't like it."

"Sounds like, I don't know, a 'final option' kind of set up. I'll see about some back channels on the after-actions but don't hold your breath. See ya tonight. Lasagna night. And you cooked it? Incredible."

Two weeks laterNSA Strike Teams BilletTeam Yeti

"Chief, the General's aide said to tell you 'meet her in the commissary' when you're done here."

"Thanks, Toc. How's the leg coming along?"

"Not bad. Thigh muscle cramps sometimes but I rub it like you said. Goes away, almost."

"Yeah, almost is good enough sometimes, though. You know I can't take you back, Toc. Not after this." He pointed to the younger man's thigh.

"I passed Meds, Chief, Doc Bloom said I could requal and then just get on the list again."

"Nope. I like you. You're the last of the first. Don't want you on my list. Sorry. It's only a matter of time and I won't have you on my conscience. Take off and don't take it so hard. I'm doing you a favor."

He looked off into the distance running down his 'other' list. Too many names. Too many faces.

"Uh, Chief, the general said 'today'."

"Yeah. I'm moving. Nag, nag, nag." He finished the coffee Toc had brought in one long gulp.

General Beckman's Office

"You wanted to see me, General? I haven't pissed you off in a while so what's wrong?"

"I'm concerned. Your team is as sharp as they come but there's a weak link that has to be dealt with. Are you prepared to do what's necessary? Follow the order to the letter with no Bartowski 'interpretations'?"

"Depends, General."

"No, it doesn't 'depend'. It's an order that I expect followed, to the letter. Understand? If I don't have complete compliance, I'm taking you out of command and disbanding your team. That's how serious it is."

"You have my attention, General."

"You're on 45-day medical leave, Chief, effective 30 minutes ago. Un-ass my area and go on leave. I'll see you in 46 days, Chuck. Be gone."

He sat down at her table. "Diane, I have no place to go, you know that. What the hell am I going to do with myself for 45 days? And a 'medical' leave? That's bullshit and you know it. I'm healthier now than ever."

"Really? Hold out your hand, palm down." He did and even he could see the trembling.

"Nerves. You turn me on. I looove women in uniform." They'd become friends in the past months. Incredible, but true. They'd even 'dated' for dinner or some other even when she needed an escort. She cleaned up pretty nicely, too.

"You're a nervous wreck. You almost failed your medical quals and that's the only reason you're getting this chance. Lila says your blood pressure was sky-high before you pulled your little trick. You're on leave, Chuck. Go someplace sunny. Find a girl, have some fun, act your damned age for a change."

"We're not done. We've still got a lot to do and I want it done right and soon. Things are looking up and I want to finish this business and…"

"And what, Chief? Go back to work at the BuyMore? Become a gigolo? Die?"

He sighed. He just wanted it all to be done with. He hadn't looked further than the final mission. There wasn't anything else in his future to look past that.

"General, please. I don't need this. I don't want this. I need to work, to run my team. It's all I've got left, this purpose. Please…" She could see unshed tears welling up.

Beckman knew that it was worse than she'd been told or could have imagined. When Hansen had come to her and asked for him to be relieved for medical reasons, she'd almost thrown her out of the program. It was only her tearful recitation of the facts of their last mission that changed her mind.

Begin Flashback

Two weeks earlierFulcrum Hive SiteRehobeth Beach, DE

"Toc to Chief. Munitions in place. Time to split. This puppy's going to go up like Mount St. Helen's." Everyone could hear the joy in Toc's voice. The huge Samoan loved to blow things up. Or down. Or sideways. He loved his bang-bangs. And he was an artist.

"This is Chuck. Pull out to rally point. Hansen, you got the back door until relieved by Toc. Toc, slam the door and rally."

"Toc? Toc? Damn it, Toc? Hansen, back door. Count them out and then slam it. I'm going to find our little Samoan demo-freak. All Yetis rally point now."

The bunker complex reminded Chuck of Stockton. . He could hear her voice from one of the containers crying for him to help her. He shook his head to clear it. Mind on the mission.

He walked around a corner and saw two fulcrum 'soldiers' standing over Toc's still form. He opened up from 30 feet and cut them down. Running down the corridor he missed the 'soldier' standing inside an office in the shadows.

Chuck knelt down beside Toc and quickly checked the two enemy operatives to ensure they were dead. There was a large pool of blood under Toc's right leg. Artery nick, and a huge knot on his head where he'd been struck by something. He ripped off one of the dead guy's belts and made a tourniquet high on Toc's leg. He grabbed his man's ruck straps and started dragging him down the hall the way he'd come when the enemy agent in the office opened up with an automatic weapon.

The rounds 'walked' across Chuck who had thrown himself on the Samoan. One round grazed his upper arm and another took a chunk out of his thigh. The ballistic armor absorbed the rest. He spun around and stitched a burst across the chest and face of the blonde woman who'd fired on him.

He dragged Toc to the 'back door rally' point and then started to sprint back into the building. Carina and another striker grabbed him but he just kept screaming that 'Sarah was down, Sarah was down' and he needed to pull her out of the container.

Carina had done the head count and all were accounted for. She nodded at the other soldiers to carry Toc and she'd handle the Chief.

"Let me go, Carina. Sarah's in there. I shot her by mistake. She's alive. I have to get her out." He turned and knocked her down and then rushed back into the building and pulled out a dead woman.

Carina had the R/T call for extraction and she went to check on her team leader. He was sitting down with the dead woman in his arms sobbing that he was sorry he'd killed Bryce and ruined her marriage and sorry that he'd killed her and ruined his. Carina shot him up with Demerol and looked at the body he'd been rocking. Blonde hair, probably blue eyes, 9mm holes in her chest, throat and face. She did look something like Walker, but not enough to confuse an experienced operator like Chief.

She dragged Bartowski as far as she could from the building housing the bunker when it went up and knocked her on her ass. The rest of the team carried them to the extraction chopper and the on-board medic started working on her.

"I'm not hit. It's the Chief. Arm and leg. I hit him up with Demerol that's why he's unresponsive. He pulled Toc out then went back for a wounded prisoner." She had to explain it somehow. Having their leader hare out like that would kill morale.

End Flashback

"Mr. Bartowski, you have your orders. Comply or you're relieved."

Chuck stood up, cocked his head at her and then said in a soft voice, "Remember to do your massage therapy, Diane, or your leg will wither up like your heart has." He turned and left.

Few people could get to Diane Beckman but Bartowski was one of those few. "You should practice what you preach, Chief." She knew he'd heard her when his shoulders shrugged.

"Walker, secure."

"Beckman, secure. The Chief, I mean, Chuck, has been relieved and put on 45-day medical leave. His team assistant, Hansen, requested it. I think you should call her, Sarah."

Sarah stared at her phone. Beckman had just called her, said 3 sentences and then hung up.

"Hansen, secure."

"Walker, secure. Carina, what the hell is going on out there? Beckman just called me about Chuck being relieved of team command. Was that your doing? What, he turn you down?"

"Sar', he lost it on a mission. He pulled out Toc and went running back into a bunker that we'd wired for demo with a short fuse. He was going back in for you."

"He'd been hit twice and apparently thought you were in a container and dying. He came back out carrying a blonde woman and then he just lost it crying that he was sorry he'd killed Bryce and ruined your marriage and sorry that he'd killed you and ruined his."

"I went to Beckman and she sent him to Medical Quals and he passed. She interviewed everyone on the team but they all had a hole in their memory. I don't think she believed me, Sarah, so she pulled the voice recordings for the mission. That did it for her. The Chief is on medical leave or he's out."

"Where's he going, do you know?"

"A little bird told me he had a confrontation with the General in the commissary when she told him he was on leave. She told him find someplace sunny, a willing girl and start acting his age instead of hers. He told her he had no place to go and she told him he was relieved and she'd see him in 46 days."

"Sarah, he told her to be sure and do her leg massages or her leg would wither and die like her heart did. All she did was yell at him to practice what he preached."

"Oh, Chuck. You just keep on twisting the knife. I surprised she didn't have him detained for a comment like that."

"They're friends, Sarah. They even have dinner together occasionally. And Beckman looks really good in a 'little black dress' and makeup. Really good, Sarah. And Chuck looks…edible."

Sarah practically hissed into the phone. "She's old enough to be his mother, for Christ's sake. And if you want to live, keep your hands off him. He's mine, damn it."

"Then do something about it. He's dying here. Maybe not physically, not yet, but mentally. He almost got us killed because he thought it was you he killed. Is he going to hesitate the next time a Walker look-alike tries to gun him down? He's the best team leader and one of the finest men I've ever met and he's ruined because he thinks he's ruined your life. Have you tried to call him? I'm betting, lemme see...NO... you haven't."

"He sent us all away. He got us 'promoted' out of harm's way and there's nothing anyone here can do about it. We can't even see his damned after action reports the classification is so high. I don't have any options. None."

"You're pathetic. I'll see you at the funeral, Nightmare. Maybe you'll get a free flag out of it."

Casa Bartowski

"Casey, Ellie, I heard from one of Chuck's team mates. He's on 45-day medical leave. He was told take the leave or he was fired, basically. He hared out on a mission and almost got himself and the assistant team leader greased. He told the general he had no place to go and she told him go or be gone."

"Well, good. He doesn't need any more of that crap. He'll just keep pushing until something gives, and I'm afraid it will be him. He doesn't know when to quit, does he? Always has to be the hero, the center of attention. Still the kid, saying 'Look at me'."

Casey beat Sarah to the punch.

"Eleanor Bartowski, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth. He's always reluctant to take credit. He's the ultimate reluctant warrior. Ahn-Zhu was right in her assessment. He'll sacrifice his own happiness for another's in a heartbeat. He did it for us. Especially for you, Ellie."

"Yeah, John, and he's so damned concerned about us he's never called or sent an email. He wanted us out of the way, if you ask me. He wouldn't even consider me on his precious team."

"Ellie, Chuck's precious team, as you so sarcastically put, it has lost all it's original members as well as a bunch of replacements. They don't do the easy stuff, they go for the hives, the leaders. And Carina says it's only a matter of time until Chuck doesn't, I mean, until he…" She threw down her fork and ran to her bedroom in near hysterics.

"Is it really that bad, John?"

"Worse. Imagine going up against the yeti on the glacier like we did, every day, day after day. Yeah, it's that bad and worse. It's only a matter of time. Medical leave for a leader is like 'we don't want you around when you die or kill yourself.'

NSA Medical Dispensary

"Dr. Bloom."

"Hi, Lila, it's Chuck Bartowski. If you have a few minutes, I'm going on mandatory leave and I need something to help me sleep. Bad dreams. Can you help me out?"

"Sure, come on over when you get the time. I'll need to ask some questions to make sure we get the right prescription and strength. So, where are you off to? Someplace exotic and exciting?"

"I have no idea. If I stay here, physically, I'm out and my team is gone so I suppose I'll rent a car or hell, I have no idea. I've never been on 'vacation' in my life. No time or no money or… anyhow I'll see you in a bit. Thanks."

"So, Chuck, I have to know about the dreams. Repetitious or varied? Same people or same situations? Missions or personal?"

"Repetitious. Mostly about the back thing. Sometimes the yeti but recently, I killed a woman on a mission who had wounded Toc and for an instant I thought it was… someone I knew. That's becoming the main attraction."

"Ok, I've got a light sleep aid, won't make you a zombie and it will enable you to awaken your self during a dream if it gets bad. So, um, any thoughts about a destination? You have to have a destination to sign out."

"No. No place around here I'd like to go. I don't have a 'home' any more so I guess I'll just check into a motel or hotel and wait for the calendar to run down."

"Well, you've got my card and my home cell. Use it, Chuck. I make a mean lasagna and I'm sure we can find something to fill 45 days. No pressure. Just know that I'm here if you need a friend or more."

"I'll definitely keep it in mind, Lila. Thanks for the script. Off to rent a car and visit the pharmacy. Oh, joy."

"Hey, before you run off, you're due for another booster and another course of bycillin for the pneumonia. You're immune system is still not where I'd like it to be. So, over against the gurney and drop 'em, Chief." She retrieved the 'special' booster series from a secure cabinet and proceeded to inject him with a pharma-cocktail of her own creation.

"God, I hate needles. Don't you ever have this in pill form? Why don't you…ouch, Jesus, Lila, sharpen those needles, please!"

"Chuck?"

He turned and she kissed him, arms around his neck and standing on her tiptoes and even then it was a stretch. He didn't respond at first and then when he felt himself begin to enjoy it he pulled away.

"Sorry, Lila. You're not her. And I am sorry. But I just, I made a commitment and, I'm sorry." He turned and walked out of the dispensary.

'Damn you, Sarah Walker. Such a waste.'

"Hansen, secure."

"Casey, secure. Carina, I need to get in touch with Chuck Bartowski. He's got a new cell and we never got his new number. 'We' being his sister, mostly. Are you able to provide it or is it against one of his rules?

"Nope. It's…" She gave him the number from memory.

"Thanks. She needs to talk to her little brother. It's been a long time and it's his 30th birthday today." That was a lie but in a good cause.

"Cool. Wait. Thirty? As in three-zero? You're kidding, right?"

"Nope. He's just got premature gray hair is all.

"Thanks, Carina. If you see him, tell him I said hello. Thanks again."

Chuck was waiting for a bus to take him downtown to rent a car when Lila Bloom drove by. "Need a lift? I'm going downtown and can drop you at the rental place."

"That would be great if that's where you're going. Not that I'm suspicious or anything…" He laughed and she gave him her famous smile.

"Promise. I have to drop all this junk off at the dry cleaners and then run a few errands. Hop in."

"Chuck, about what I said, I meant it. Call me, please? I can be a good listener if you need it."

"I'll keep that in mind, Lila. I might need someone to vent to about day, oh say, four?"

She laughed and then concentrated on her driving.

His cell rang and he saw the ID. "Shit. What's he want? Bartowski, secure."

"Casey, secure. I have two women living with me. One is in an hysterical funk because of something she'd been told and the other one is really pissed that her 'baby brother' hasn't bothered to call in almost 60 days. Which one you want to talk to first, numb nuts?"

"Neither." He hung up. Lila glanced over and saw a Bartowski look she didn't recognize or want to see aimed her way. "Trouble, Chuck? Want me to turn around?"

"No, personal."

It rang again. He looked at the caller ID. "Bartowski, secure. Casey, what do you want now?"

"Listen, dickhead, Sarah's near a melt-down and Ellie's bitching about your recent 'episode' and I'm in the damned middle. What's your fucking problem, Chuck? She made a mistake. She was drunk. And you're such white knight, right. Never done anything wrong, never hurt someone without malice aforethought, right?"

"Casey, the drunk's words are the sober man's thoughts. I was past that, emphasis on 'I'. Then the next day after Bloom's little Law & Order episode entitled 'He's not Bartowski'..."

"I saw her eyes, Casey. Raw hatred. Doesn't take dying again for me to get the idea. I'll always love her, but she's made her decision. Now, I have to live with it for a little while. I'm OK with it, really. Classy broad like her, loser like me… never could happen in real life. Take care, Major. Don't get caught on the glacier at night." He hung up.

"Chuck, it was hard not hearing what you said. I feel so damned guilty for that whole charade but Beckman was insistent. I saw what you meant if you were talking about Ms. Walker when you said 'raw hatred' but that was before, not after, Chuck. You're making a big mistake and you're throwing it all away. And, damn it, Chuck Bartowski, you're not a loser, not by a long shot. You just need to call her, Chuck and…" Lila was interrupted by his cell.

His cell rang again. "Casey, we've already had this conversation. I'm not allowed to turn my phone off."

"Chuck, it's Sarah. Please don't hang up on me. I'm so sorry about everything. And I do not love Bryce Larkin nor have I ever if what I feel for you is love. Please, don't throw us away. You're deliberately taking the hardest and most dangerous missions and you're pushing the envelope and the odds hoping that someone ends your heartache. It doesn't have to be that way, sweetheart. I need you, Chuck Bartowski, like I need air and water. Can I please come home now, Chuck?"

"Sarah, I don't have a home. You were my home. It won't work. I saw your face, your eyes. The hate and something else I've never seen before. You're right, I don't think things through. It's probably why all but one of my original team is dead or medically retired."

"Oh, jeeeez." He shuddered as a surge of pain went through him. Seven flags, seven coffins but at least not seven widows, as for the retired, well, they have their pensions and the rest of their lives.

What did he have? Memories, nightmares, nearly constant pain, night terrors, whispers in the tank, 'you should have died like a normal man, abomination, freak, you left her to die, alone in the dark, no air, fire all around, what kind of man does that? No wonder she loved Bryce and not you. You were the job, loser, that's all, just the job.'

"They think I'm crazy, Sarah. Hared out on a mission. Wouldn't leave you behind even after I'd killed you, baby. I killed you and I'm so sorry, but I couldn't let you shoot Toc again. But I went back for you, Sarah, I went back and got you out. You didn't burn in the fire, you didn't suffocate in the container, I got you out but you keep calling to me and I can't find you. Where are you, Sarah?" He was crying now, unable to think clearly, he needed this to end. Would he never find peace?

"Chuck, are you alone? Is there anyone near you? Give them the phone, Chuck. Please give them the phone, sweetheart."

He brought the phone away from his ear and stared at it. He closed his eyes and listened to the voice in his dreams yelling from the phone. "Where are you, Chuck? Please, don't do this to us. We can get it back, I know we can. You're my Paladin not a freak, you're my hero who went out alone in the dark to fight the yeti, knowing he was going to die."

And he compared it to another voice… , 'you should have died like a normal man, abomination, freak, you left her to die, alone in the dark, no air, fire all around…'

He looked at Lila who was on her cell and talking to Beckman. "…finally, yes, losing it, all that stress and tension and loss. Thank God he's with me. Coming back now. On the phone with Sarah Walker. Yes, General. Right now." She took the cell phone out of his trembling hand and began talking to Walker.

He pulled his weapon and looked at it. Then he looked at Lila Bloom. So simple. He knew what he had to do. He knew suddenly what had been done to him. He could get Sarah back. He could have everything in life they'd promised each other, just not here.

"Sarah, this is Lila Bloom. I was taking Chuck down to rent a car. It's bad, Sarah, please come home. He'll need you. Right now I'm on my way back to FT Meade. Let me know when your flight gets Chuck, NO! "

The pistol was so heavy and it seemed to have a life of its own as he dragged it up over his chest, fighting to maintain a grip on it. And then everything was…'

Bang|

The pain was brief and unexpected. His face felt like someone had torn it open with a branding iron…

'He was standing in his high mountain pass feeling the cold from the winds and the crunching snow under his boots. His ice axe dangled from one wrist and he adjusted his goggles enjoying the scene as the sun's terminator line raced across the glacier that melted into the lake in the valley below. Slowly and carefully he started his descent carefully picking out the path across the glacier to the waiting tree line. From there he would be able to see the lakeshore. He was finally going home…'

P/N: One more chapter(as far as I know) to go. Once again, thanks to gtpse.