A/N: All credit to S. Meyers! I'm just dabbling! Enjoy.
Chapter 2
She trudged up the stairs where she knew her two best friends were waiting for her, and an explanation for her behavior since last night.
All she wanted to do was sleep; this weekend had been terrible enough without the evident lack of sleep that plagued her.
She was so sick of crying, so sick of being so upset. She shouldn't even be upset, she should have been ecstatic.
She should be as happy as that stupid couple in the Starbucks she thought to herself.
She had been dating her boyfriend Jake since she was 16. She was now 21. Five long years she had been with him, five years of being together and being happy. She really did love him, she wanted him to be so happy, she was willing to give up her happiness for his.
Her friends warned her she was settling, and wasn't making the right choice for "herself". Not that anyone disliked Jake, it was actually quite the opposite.
Everyone loved him, her parents, her friends, everyone that mattered thought he was so great.
But time after time again everyone said "He's such a great guy, but Bella are you happy? Maybe he's just not great for you."
What the hell was that supposed to mean anyway? No one wants to be alone, and we've been together so long it became impossible to not settle and accept that they would be together for as long as he would have her.
She accepted one day he would propose and she would accept and they would continue this life. She accepted that wholeheartedly.
Everyone said that how she looked at this situation was so wrong, and inside she knew her ideas were messed up, she knew she was messed up, but what was she supposed to do?
She loved him, she did, but there was no passion behind her words, no fire in her veins when they kissed or shared each other's bodies. It was full of love, that she knew, but it wasn't head over heels I want to spend the rest of my life worshiping you love.
Not the kind of love you find in books, and being a Literature major she'd read all about that kind of love.
But that love existed in books, not in real life. She refused to waste her life looking for something that didn't exist.
And she was comfortable in this relationship. Very comfortable.
Then last night he took her out to a fancy restaurant, and they had fun and everything was beautiful. Then he did exactly what she thought he was going to do.
He got down on one knee and proposed. He said all the right words, the words he knew she wanted to hear, and then presented her with a ring she knew she would have picked out herself if given the chance.
Tears flew to her eyes the instant he got on one knee, he thought she was crying out of happiness and she knew it was the complete opposite. When the final words fell out of his mouth, "Isabella will you make the happiest man alive and marry me?" she panicked.
She ran. She literally ran away from the table and out the front door, leaving him there all alone. She pulled her heels off and threw them to the ground leaving them outside the restaurant and ran all the way home.
She ran well over 5 miles home, crying and sobbing the entire way. By the time she got home there was no question what a total mess she was. She stormed in still in tears and pushed past her friends who knew what was supposed to transpire that night.
Bella offered no explanation as she ran into her room and slammed the door locking it. She could hear her friends pounding on the door and she curled up in a ball on the floor sobbing uncontrollably.
She was oblivious to the yells of her very best friends as she willed the floor to swallow her whole as her breathing became erratic. She began to not be able to get enough air into her lungs as a panic attack set in.
She dragged herself to her bathroom where she laid back down on the shower floor as water washed over her. Her dress ruined, shoes lost and forgotten long ago. Eventually there were no more tears, but the sobs and race for air continued long after the water ran cold.
Hysteria set in eventually and she laughed for a minute, knowing that for the first time she had made the right choice. Ironic though, that that choice was the most painful one she would ever have to make.
She slipped into a short sleep in the shower, not caring if she drowned, not caring about anything at all.
She woke up in her bed, in clean dry clothes a couple hours later and figured out how she got in that position after a moment of thought. She slowly got up and noted that her door was broken, and wasn't surprised in the least.
She threw on some clothes and ran out to clear her head, 'the calm before the storm', she thought.
An explanation would have to be given today, and she needed sometime to process the decision she made and the ramifications of said decision.
That was this morning and now here she was standing in her living room with both of her friends looking at her with sad eyes.
xx
A/N: Hey guys, don't worry I just had to get a background in and Jacob will be out of the picture soon, so don't hate me. What do you think? Let me know.
Cinnamon