Title: Day in the life of Orgy XIII
Rating: T
Pairings: Too many to name. They're an orgy /shot
Summary: Just a day in the life of Organization XIII in Castle Oblivion
Disclaimer: My friends and I are special and we make our own cracked out versions of how the characters act behind the camera. We wish we owned these characters, but sadly, all we can do is cosplay them.
Notes: CRACK. CRACK. AND MORE CRACK. It's nothing but a parody so don't take this too seriously. Also, the grammar is off for certain reasons. I try to make some funnies even though I am really bad at that, but can you blame me? It's just some crack.
Chapter Two: Ho Ho Ho, You're Saix
There were three things that were certain in Castle Oblivion: Those living inside of it were nobodies, they lived to fight another day (mainly fighting each other in the kitchen), and Saix was a full blown whore of the century. Seriously, you looked through the yellow pages, and every woman or man whose name you saw might have slept with him. If they remembered his name, some just remembered his scar or hair color, and well…close enough.
Now, he prided himself on being a whore. Yes, he really does pride himself on being a harlot. He swore for the first few weeks after being bottom bitch to Mansex-I mean Xemnas-he wrote the book of Kama Sutra and made sex look like an art form. The pink haired male that owned the place looked at him like he was an idiot, pulled out his own copy, and slapped him with it saying something along the lines of do not lie in my house.
Marluxia was strange when it came to intercourse. He was interested, but not at the same time, and Saix tried to get him, but the whole thing was futile. After all, pinkie pie wasn't the one to be chased, seeing as he did the chasing, and his forbidden fruit was more along the lines of short, cute, and cuddly (Roxas) or absolutely conniving, slightly creepy, and wild (Vexen and Xaldin.) Saix be damned if he understood the attraction to any of them. Marluxia was just a damned creeper at times, that's how it was.
In any case, Saix was a ho and that's just how he liked it. It wasn't a big thing for those outside of the castle, but there were young and impressionable souls residing in it (Xion and Roxas) and neither one of those impressionable souls wanted anything to do with him. So, logically every time he came around, they tried to get away from the smartass and possibly not see him the entire day. But today of all days, they were caught.
And Axel was with him, and Saix really liked the fire crotch for some odd reason that they couldn't quite place. And because of it, the two younger ones booked it while throwing the gangly redhead at the harlot like it was some sort of sporting event that was being timed. There was even a little dust cloud where they had left their places.
"You bastards!" The sound of clicking noises were the answer to Axel's plight. His friends abandoned him, probably listening from one of the numerous rooms in the castle and Saix was looking at his ass like a lecher. Now, everyone in the castle can fight of course, it's something they are practically proud of because they are so strong and whatnot. However, when someone's looking at your ass like a piece of meat that is about to be devoured: you run like the fucking wind bulls eye!
Axel high-tailed it down the corridor with a lustful whore running after him and probably snarling too. They made it to the common room in which the red-head had to pause and realize that yes, there were two people lazing about on the couch knowing damn well that someone was chasing him. "Think you can give me some help?" He pleased to both Demyx and Xigbar attentively staring at the game of Parcheesi they had in front of them and promptly trying to ignore him. Kicking the pieces towards every single direction the pair of nobodies were about to attack him until they noticed that Saix made his way to the room.
It was every man for himself and the three of them ran out through another door. Unfortunately, the door led them into a closet in which they locked themselves inside. Saix could be heard pounding at the door and yelling something about work when they knew there was nothing else for them to do today. Luckily the pounding stopped when they pressed their ears to the door and heard the deep vibrato of the Superior. Grinning to each other the three of them tried to push the door open to no avail. The idiots had locked themselves inside!
As they continued to yell at someone to help them out, Saix walked to a room with the Superior to have their own little fun time. Roxas and Xion bolted out of the room they were in, clearly next door to the couple who were making more noises than a gorilla in heat, and helped out the three dummies in the closet. As soon as they got them out of there a song played in the distance from Marluxia's room which was appropriately named "Trapped In The Closet."
He said he played it to drown out the screams that were going to give everyone nightmares.
Which they really did.
Extra Notes: I forget who is supposed to be next but we'll just pick a random member anyway! As long as I don't repeat any of them, we should be in the clear!