Winter has never been more white than this year. Snow is falling against my shutters. Christmas is right around the corner, then again I never was that much into holidays. The last time I celebrated Christmas was four years ago with my ex girlfriend, Miaska. Does Marco like Christmas? As I'm laying on my couch a knock echoes through my house. Standing up I walk passed stacked boxes that I forgot to unpack when I moved apartments. Opening the door I freeze. Marco's standing nervously on the other end and he is holding a violet bag that has a few crumbles in it. "I-I uh asked John what your address was. Sorry if that's weird, I thought I would take your dinner offer up?" He says rubbing his neck. Dinner offer..? That's right he never texted me back about that. "You never answered my text so I took that as a no." Playing with the doorknob I try to avoid eye contact. He shifts his weight from his left foot to his right and then backs up to walk away. Don't go. I don't know why he makes me joyful or why I don't want him to go, it's because I want to be friends right? Reaching out in a rush I grab his arm. I feel the restraint in his tricep so I let go. "Sorry." I reply as I'm looking up to see any sign of disbelief in his eyes. A smile is emerging on his face. Why is he smiling? Marco makes his way to me and puts his hand on the wall beside my head and leans close to my face. "Now why did you grab my arm?" He asks me in a snotty way trying to hide his curiosity. Why is he so close to me? "I-um I didn't want you to go." Rubbing my shoulder looking down to the ground. A chuckle comes from his mouth and I feel his breathe on my lips. My face begins to burn slightly but as I look up to see Marco lick his lips my knees give out. Why am I feeling this way? Confused and embarrassed I knock his hand off the wall and rush to my apartment, leaving the slamming of a door echo throughout the hall. I jerk awake. Looking around my room to see if Marco is anywhere, when he's not I relax and shift my body weight into my bed burying my head in my pillow. My eyes shoot open when I hear he's laugh. Huh? Is he here? Looking at my alarm clock blinking from a low battery, it says 10 o'clock, December 5th. Wait.. I worked today.. So that was a dream?
It was a chilly day today, so walking to the bakery took a little longer than usual. I reached into my pocket to call John and let him know I was going to be late but my hand grabbed ahold of nothing. "Shit." Letting out an aggravated sigh, I look at my watch to see if I could make it home to grab my phone and still be on time for work. Rubbing my left leg I just continue walking to work. Puffs of white come out my nose and mouth, it begins to snow. I hurry around the corner and feel a tight nodge in my chest as I fall backwards. "Watch where you-" My eyes narrow up the body that hit me, and my eyes lock onto one thing, freckles. He's rubbing his stomach,I assume that's where my arm hit him. My butt begins to feel wet and I notice I'm in a small puddle. "Ugh! That's just great." Rushing to stand up I notice Marco still isn't. I reach my hand out to pull him up, he gives me a short smile and goes to take my hand. His fingers wrap the outside of my hand and grip tightly. I nudged my arm back and pull him to his feet. He still is gripping my hand when he stands. "Sorry man, I didn't see you." He begins to protest. I quickly let go of his hand and turn sideways and arch my head back to see how bad the wet spot on my jeans were. He must have noticed the puddle because he handed me a napkin along with a nervous laughter. "Don't worry about it, I was the one running and didn't see you, oh and thanks for the uh napkin." Wiping off my jeans, I readjust them. "Are you heading to the bakery?" I nod to his question and start to slowly walk around him waving goodbye. Invite him to dinner. I stop about halfway down the road and turn around to find him staring at me. Okay this is it, if he asks you what you're doing, then ask him to dinner. It's just a friendly gesture, nothing more. Marco observes me and I notice him mouthing something but I can't make it out. I scream out what and he continues to mouth something. I hear a faint but very clear noise behind me, a growling. A smell fills my nostrils with disgust. It smells like a terrible odor. I turn around slowly to find a dog behind me. My nightmare standing face to face with me. I notice foam coming from the canine's mouth. A staggering tail motion coming from him shows he doesn't have much control of himself anymore. A sudden growl snaps me back to 1999. That summer was ordinary and peaceful. My childhood friend and I would always go to the twins baseball games or go to the park once school let out. One day we agreed to meet up for baseball practice, we were planning on joining the middle school team that upcoming year. I still to this day wonder what it would have been like if I wouldn't have gotten hurt. I was walking up to the park finishing my peanut butter and jelly sandwich my mother had made me right before. I could hear my friend running behind me trying to catch up to me. We had a long day of sweat and laughter. The sun started going down and I knew if I didn't go home my mother would ground me and then I wouldn't be able to practice anymore so I hurried home. My friend and I started walking home. He was younger than I and a lot more scared when it came to nighttime. He grabbed onto the bottom of my shirt and I tugged it away but he stayed snugged on it. We got around a corner not even a block away from my house when the dog came near. Foam was dripping from its mouth and was swerving side to side trying to keep itself balanced. I told my friend to run home but he was frozen. The canine ran towards him and I jumped in front of him. The next thing I know i'm in a hospital for two months recovering from serious injuries. The vicious bark brings me back to reality. The canine was now running towards me. "Jean! Watch out!" My body felt numb. I was frozen. The dog jumped onto me knocking me on the ground. Drops of saliva fell on my cheek and it was now growling at me. I could hear footsteps. Marco was coming towards me. No.. this wont happen again. I can't let Marco get hurt. Come on Jean throw him off you. You're not that kid 16 years ago! I placed my hands onto the dogs chest and with a shove I threw him off. While he was trying to motion his stance, I fumbled in fright scouting backwards. My back bumped into Jean's legs. The dog whimpered as a policemen came and tazed it. I was shaking and I felt his legs bend down and his arms wrapped around my neck. "Marco, it's okay." I could feel his breathe on my cheek and my shaking slowed down. He's so warm, I could stay like this all day. He grabs beneath my armpits and pulls me up to my feet. My back is turned towards him and he tries to move my shoulder to turn me to face him but I nudged my shoulder back in place. A small noise comes from my mouth and I wipe my face. I can't believe I'm crying, I can't let him see me like this. He finally notices why I won't turn and he walks in front of me. My vision is blurry from the tears collecting in my eyes. I keep wiping my eyes and I try to hold back the pathetic wimpers. Marco places his hand beneath my chin and tilted my head up. "Stop crying Jean, it's okay." My lips are shaking and I began to get the hiccups. "I-I can't, I'm sorry that I look so path-" Marco's lips connect with mine. His hand tilts my chin up more as he slides his tongue through my parted lips. There was a burning sensation arousing through my mouth. My hands stayed dangling on my sides and my eyes let out the last of tears. He pulled away leaving a trail of saliva and had a smirk. Is he mocking me? "See, you're not crying anymore." He let out a small chuckle and grabbed my hand and led me down the street to the bakery.
Buzz. Buzz. My phone goes off as I'm rolling around restlessly in my bed. Fearing it's from Marco I shut my eyes and try to fall asleep. Buzz. Buzz. The vibrations of my phone seems like it's going on forever. Finally I give in and unlock my phone to have a message pop up. From Marco: Jean are you doing any bttr? :( I wipe my face, dragging my lips down making my mouth slam shut when my hand leaves. Why does he act like nothing happened? To Marco: Yeah, I just can't sleep though, not tired. Not even a minute later my phone goes off. From Marco: I can come over and watch a movie? I have popcorn! :) To Marco: Uhh..sur
Great, why didn't you just say no? Why didn't you ask him why he kissed you? You can ask him when he comes over, yeah, do that. Wait, what if he tries to do it again? No, i have to text him no. As i begin to text my doorbell rings. The ringing seemed to go on for hours because the next thing I knew we were sitting in my bed watching Ted. I was sitting at the foot of my bed and he was leaning against my head board making himself at home. The popcorn was rested below his right arm. My stomach seemed to growl, but I refuse to sit close to him. In the corner of my eye I could see him resting his eyes on me. I could feel them watching me. I turned around and all I got was a big grin with a few popcorn shells in his teeth. Cute. No matter what he did, I still think that he is cute. The credits came on and he didn't move. I stood up and stretched. "Well, thanks for coming over! I guess it's time to g-" A snore comes from him. He's.. asleep.. I walked quietly over to his bed side and took the popcorn bucket from underneath his arm. He was already half way under my covers so I just pulled them up some more. I started to reach for his face but I stopped. What are you doing? He's asleep, don't just randomly touch him.. but he kissed me when I was defenseless? He shifted his body under the covers and turned his back on me snuggling up to my pillow that was rested on the left side. My side of the bed. I went to the hall closet next to the restroom and grabbed a few blankets and a pillow that I found on my couch. Laying out a template and pillow I laid down. Staring at the ceiling fan I tried focusing on one board as it went around in circles endlessly. My apartment was nothing special, I got it a few years back with money I had saved up from working in the bakery. You could hear every noise, the walls were not thick and in the winter my apartment would freeze up. I can hear Marco moving around in my bed. The sheets sounded like silk rubbing against his body. I covered myself with my blanket, my breath filled the under covers with heat. "Jean?.." A voice that almost sounded like a child came from my room. My heart sank. I moved around a little trying to stay quiet. He called my name again, but this time more frightened. I slowly got up and walk into my room. He was sitting up against the headboards and he didn't have his shirt on. I looked around and he had thrown it on the ground below him. "Jean, I'm cold." I shook my head and let out a yawn. "I'll go get you some blankets and put your shirt on!" I started to turn, when I heard a small snore come from behind me. I turned to face him and folded my arms. He's asleep again. I shook my head and let out a small laugh. Walking over to tuck him back in my foot gets caught on his shirt and makes me slid, falling on my butt. Marco jerks up and looks around and then down looking at me. "Jean, what are you doing here? Where am I?" I crinkle my eyebrows and got up rubbing my butt. "You fell asleep, so I just let you lay there. It's fine I have the couch. It's to late to bike home anyways." He kind of looked confused.