Chapter 2

Disclaimer- I don't own iCarly, but I do own this story. And the delicuous pizza I'm about to eat...Okay, there's no pizza. But how cool would that be?

A/N- Hiya people. Before I move on to the story, I have a few things to say.

1. I am so so so so so so so so so sorry I haven't updated. There are not enough so's in the world to express my sorryness (you know, if that's even a word). School had been such a pain, and, because of this, my parents decided that I can't update this story till I do all of my homework and chores. So this was my only free moment. Sorry! Again!

2. Thank you so much for all the reviews. Twelve for one chapter! Not only one, but the FIRST one! That is truly amazing. I really hope this story can live up to expectations.

3. If you do have any critisism for the story, please let me know. This story is for your entertainment, and if you're not entertained, I want to know why. I wanna be able to make the story the best it could be, and if you want to crtitique the way I did something, I really want to know what I could do to make it better. Remember, this story is for you!

Now, on to the story!

"Do you…maybe…want to go on a date with me?" Carly asks quickly. I look back at her, my eyes the size of saucers.

"Wait…what?" I ask stupidly, staring at her. This must be a joke. "Oh, I get it! I'm being Punked! Alright guys, the joke is over. Where are the cameras?" I look around, and smirk plastered on my lips. I see the confusion on Carly's face.

"Does he do this every time a girl asks him out?" I hear Jake whisper to Sam. I glare at him, insulted.

"Wait…so you were serious?" I ask Carly, looking back at her. She nods meekly and gives me a hopeful smile.

"Oh…um…can I talk to you in the hall for a second?" I ask her, motioning to the door. She nods quickly and walks out, with me trailing behind her.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Okay…so the truth is," I start, preparing to let her down easy. I shift my weight from one foot to another. "Well…I kind of… don't have a crush on you anymore."

I don't dare look up – I'm too afraid of Carly's reaction.

"Well, this is unexpected," I hear Carly say. But there was one thing missing from her tone of voice : heartbreak. I peek at her face, and see that not only is she NOT sad, but she's smiling!

"Um…why aren't you heartbroken?" I say, staring at her in disbelief. She smirks at me, chuckling slightly.

"I don't actually know… I think that I got caught up in your change. I mean, you actually are looking and acting cool! I was in shock!" Carly exclaimed, throwing her hands up for emphasis.

"What's the supposed to mean?" I say, pretending to be insulted. "I'll have you know I was da bomb before!"

"See! Cool people don't normally say 'Da Bomb'," Carly tells me, shaking her head. I laugh at the small joke, but I'm mainly happy that Carly is still my friend.

"Okay, so if we're done insulting Freddie, let's move on. I have an important question for you," I tell her, getting serious again. She nods, signaling me to continue.

"Will you fake date me to make someone jealous?" I ask hopefully, giving her my best puppy dog look. Oh, wait! Puppies aren't manly… I gave her my best 'bulldog' face.

"Um...will you stop growling? It's kind of creeping me out…" Carly asks, backing away. Okay, maybe the bulldog face doesn't work so good…

"Oh, sure. Now, will you?" I ask. She pauses for a long time, rolling the situation over. "I mean, if your still not over my hot physique, I understand."

"Woah, woah, woah. Don't get conceited on me now. Besides, you don't have a 'hot' physique," Carly says. I give her my most offended look, which she ignores.

"Come on, will you help me or not?" I ask, getting exasperated at her constant subject-changing. She looks at me, pretending to think again.

"Hmm…"

"Just please help me make Sam jealous! I'll buy you a cookie!" I say, throwing my hands up in the air.

"Okay, first of all, you can't bribe me with a cookie. I'm not two…or Sam. And second…YOU WANT TO MAKE SAM JEALOUS?" Carly yells in my face. My eyes widen, and I quickly put my hands over he mouth.

"Be quiet! Sam will hear you!" I cry, my hand still over her mouth. She licks my hands, and I pull it away in disgust. "Eww, Carly. I just sanitized my hand!"

"Who cares! Why didn't you tell me you like Sam?"

"Um…well you see… I don't actually like her. This is all a big misunderstanding. I didn't say Sam, I said Ham! Yea, that's right. I have a crush on…Ham." I say quickly, hoping she bought it.

"Didn't I already explain to you I'm not two. I won't fall for your lies," Carly states, rolling her eyes. "Especially if they're as bad as that. Ham? Seriously?"

"I'm not lying! Ham is the…uh… exchange student from Turkey!"

"Oh, why didn't you just say so?" Carly says, pretending to buy it. I smile in victory, and prepare to do a 'manly' victory dance. But then Carly thumps me on the forehead. "Do you really think I'm that dumb?"

"Well," I start, pretending to mull it over. Carly thumps me on the forehead again.

"And to think I'm going to help you make Sam jealous," Carly says.

"Wait? You're gonna help me?" I ask hopefully, to which she nods. "SWEET!"

"On one condition," Carly interrupts me, causing my smile to drop. "We don't hurt Jake. He's a sweet guy, and I don't want him to get heartbroken."

"Aww, can't we just let him suffer?" I plead, clasping my hands together. She stares at me pointedely, and I sigh. "Fine, I promise not to break his heart…much."

"Freddie," Carly, starts warningly. I groan loudly.

"Fine. I won't break his heart at all. I may even get him a new girlfriend."

"That's all I ask." Carly states, nodding her head.

"So we have a deal?"

"Totally," Carly laughs, shaking my hand. I don't let go of her hand, and we both walk into the Shay's living room.

"What took you two so long," Sam asks, pretending to be uninterested. She looks over at us, and notices our conjoined hands.

"Well, let's just say me and Carly aren't single anymore," I say suavely, regaining my 'cool' façade. Sam's face drops for a second, but then she puts on her neutral face again.

"Great job, man. Carly's hot!" Jake congratulates, coming over and patting me on the back. Sam coughs, and Jake looks back over at his girlfriend. "But not as hot as Sam!"

"Ahem," Carly fake-coughs, causing Jake to once again look at her. He quickly looks back at Sam, then again at Carly.

"I can't win," Jake says, looking down.

"That's because you aren't as cool as me," I say smugly, sitting on the couch. Sam throws a muffin at me. "Ow! Sam that- I mean…muffins are cool."

Sam stares at me in confusion, so I pick up the muffin that pelted me in the face, and take a bite of it.

"Yum."

A/N- Hate it? Love it? Don't care? Tell me!