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Part Two: Next Time, I'll Put It in a Memo
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Howard, Raj, and Leonard trudged up the last few stairs to Leonard's apartment, arguing viciously about the last episode of their favorite sitcom.
Raj was saying, "I'm telling you, I really think he's starting to show character development. He actually understood sarcasm before his best friend did—"
Leonard snorted. "Are you kidding? Development is practically nonexistent on that show. And their continuity is atrocious. They haven't even given the female main character a last name!"
"A bit sexist, don't you think?" Howard asked. When the other two gave him a look, he said, "What? I'm all for women's rights. I'm a complete feminist."
The other two shrugged, but then Howard added, "There's nothing hotter than a strong, angry woman."
"Such a modern thinker," Leonard rolled his eyes as he unlocked his apartment door. He leaned against it with one shoulder, meaning he nearly fell over when he actually got inside and stopped short at the sight awaiting him.
It was Sheldon, on the arm of the couch, wrapped in Penny's sky blue Hello Kitty comforter. One shoulder and arm were exposed, and they were bare, indicating that he was naked under the blanket. In his hand he held a dry erase marker, and he was staring at his whiteboard with incredible intent. His long arm reached out as he scribbled a few furious notations, the other hand clutching the blanket closed.
"Sheldon?" said Leonard. "What are you doing?"
"Proving string theory," replied Sheldon, not looking up.
"Yeah, but why are you naked?" asked Howard.
"My mind has been opened." Sheldon stood and capped his marker, turning to face his friends. "The rush of endorphins provided by intercourse has cleared my mind remarkably. I can see things I've never seen before; understand things that were never meant to be understood." As Sheldon turned back around to his work, he commented, "If I had known sex was like this, I would've done it years ago."
Howard, looking sideways at Leonard, asked, "Is sex with Penny really that good?"
Leonard's shoulders drooped as he let out the saddest sigh ever to be heard by human ears. "Yeah."
"Wow." Raj turned to Howard, grinning and nodding. "Nice."
They high-fived.
"Sheldon?" The voice was coming from Penny's apartment. The guys, minus Sheldon, scrambled into Leonard's living room, assuming various poses and trying to act natural.
"Sheldon?" Penny appeared in the doorway, barefoot, with her robe wrapped around her. "Oh, hey guys."
"Hey, Penny," Howard smirked, trying to lean on the back of the couch, but slipped and slammed his chin. He immediately regained his footing and grinned, pretending like it hadn't happened.
Penny gave him an embarrassed smile and walked over to the end of the couch where Sheldon was sitting.
"Sheldon, sweetie, what are you doing?" she rubbed his arm softly.
"Science." He replied without looking up.
"No, honey, I understand that. I just don't think you understand—"
"Oh, yes." Sheldon stood, recapping his marker. "Post-coital protocol. You wish to cuddle." He gave her an awkward hug that lasted a few seconds, then turned his attention back to his whiteboard.
Penny was starting to get impatient. "That's not how it works, Sheldon. You come back to bed and talk."
"Talk? What do we have to talk about?"
Penny let out a grunt of exasperation. "How you feel. About what happened."
"It was pleasant. I had a major mental breakthrough. Can I go back to work now?"
Penny crossed her arms.
"Relax, Penny," Leonard said. "Apparently, sex with you is so great it can unlock all the mysteries of the universe."
"Huh." Penny frowned, then shrugged. A smile crossed her face. "I'm all right with that."
She turned and kissed Sheldon on the cheek. "I'll see you later, sweetie, okay?"
"Fine, fine," he murmured, not paying attention.
"See you guys later!" she gave the others a small wave as she left and returned to her apartment.
A silence overtook the group as the door closed.
Sheldon capped his marker and stood up. "Drat. I've run into a roadblock. I'll have to have sex again." He began to shuffle out of the apartment, still wrapped in the Hello Kitty comforter.
Howard began to follow him.
"Don't even think about it, Howard," Leonard called from the couch.
"Again, you, with the banning of fun." Howard pouted and flopped down onto the couch.
"That's me," said Leonard, picking up the remote and turning on the television, "The fun-banner."