Hi the only two people (I think) that actually care about this story XD. Warning: characters are OOC and they're mistakes. This was written in a iPhone4.

"Izaya...?" The blonde blinked, and looked at shinra. "That name...pisses me off..." I growled and shinra quickly took izaya from me. "Shizuo! Don't lose your temper! I accidentally turned izaya into a 9 month old baby..." He paused. "And I can't take care of him, I have work, and so does Celty!" "So what, my work doesn't count?" The brunette sighed,"Please shizuo...only for a week or so, until he turns back to normal..." I looked at the baby wearing a black shirt and small black pants. "Fine, whatever..how the hell do you take care of a baby anyways?"

"Well, you see... You need to play with him, change his diaper, feed him, put Him to sleep, blah blah blah..." The blonde just stared. The Brunette always talked too much. A bag was thrusted in his face. "This is a bag full of clothes, and everything else you'll need for him." "Now go." He pushed me out quickly, handing izaya to me.

SHIZUO. POV.
Walking back to my apartment, people stared. It's not like I fucking cared though. I can carry a baby to. Speaking of baby, I looked down to see izaya staring at me."What?" I asked, knowing he can't answer. He looked at me with curious eyes, and I just stared back, not really knowing what to do. I opened the bag shinra gave me and pulled out a little bear. I finally made it back to my house with the flea. I kicked down the door, threw the bag and carried izaya over and placed him on the floor.

"Naaah...Wah.." I looked down to see a annoying little flea grabbing my pants, I quickly picked him up and placed him on my lap, with him clutching the bear. "You hungry flea? You haven't eaten yet.." Grabbing, the bag I pulled out some baby food. "Apples and bananas" it read, and I popped the lid off.

Looking at izaya I scooped some of the baby food and held it in front of his mouth. He smelled it curiously and slowly opened his mouth. I smiled. Just a little. And put the slop in his mouth..he made a scrunched up face."What's wrong flea, don't like it? It's just apples and bananas.." I said, scooping another spoon full and placing it in his mouth.

"Uuuuu...!" He pulled away quickly, food spilling out of his mouth. "Come on izaya, one more bite. Be a big boy." I held the last spoon full in front of his face, and he closed his eyes tightly moving his head side to side. I sighed. 'Of course the fucking flea has to give me trouble.' I took the teddy bear and watched him reach out for it. "Ahh-" Right when his mouth opened I shoved the food in. He made a Surprised look and swallowed the rest. "There..." I sighed. "What else do I do with you?"

I asked, getting now reply. But remembering what shinra said. 'Bathe him?' I thought. "Yeah that's something babies do. Lets do that." Picking izaya up I walked to the bathroom and slipped off his little clothes. I turned the water on and looked over at the squirming izaya. "Waaah..! Waaaaa...!" He cried, but no tears rolling on the cold floor.

"Here." I picked him up, letting him get warm and placed him in the sink. "Uuuuuuh!" He closed his eyes tight, probably not used to this. I wrapped a warm warsh cloth around wrapped it around his body. "Shhh...is it too warm?" I looked at his skin, and felt the water. "Here..." I put some shampoo in his hair, watching him relax in my touch. I smiled. "The great izaya orihara, getting washed by his greatest enemy." I chuckled, thinking how embarrassing this is for the informant. I looked down at his content face and scooped some water up, poring it on his little head. "Must feel good to be bathed by someone.." I mumbled and scrubbed the rest of his body gently with soap.

Taking him out, I wrapped him in a towel and held him close. After getting him dressed I placed him on the floor in the living room, giving him some toys. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! "WAH-WAHHH!" I ran over from the ramen I was cooking and looked down at little izaya. His face was red, we has rolling on the floor, and one of his toys that looked like a aliens head popped off. "Izaya, izaya don't cry!" I rushed over and picked him up. "Come on, it's okay.."

Izaya POV.

'This stupid brute doesn't understand! That was MY toy! And the fucking head popped off!' I thrashed, hitting him in the neck. He held me tighter, and eventually my cries reduced to sobs and he gently rubbed my back. He pulled me away and looked me in the eyes. I gave him a 'Give me a new toy or ill keep crying look' and he bent down, giving me a teddy bear.

"Hehehe!" I giggled when he rubbed the bears nose against mine. This is so unlike me. I'm laughing because of this monster. This monster gave me a bath and I let him. He's taking...good...care of me...

This neanderthal actually makes a pretty good mom.

I chuckled.