Chapter two
The seven aforementioned mercenaries had now assembled in the same room where they had been interviewed by "tiny man" as Heavy put it. They were silent all except for Scout, who simply wouldn't shut up about a team called the Red Sox, which all but Engineer and possibly Pyro hadn't heard of before in the first place, being from other countries. By the time when they were ready to pull out their guns and watch Scout's brains being blown out, the man had finally arrived.
"Ah, you're all here. It is good" He almost choked out the word. "To see you again. But I should welcome you to The Team. And now that you're part of it, I can tell you my name. It is Smith."
"Yeah fuckin' right." Scout muttered.
Smith ignored him. "This will be your home twenty four hours, six days a week. You will be sent home on Sundays, but we can immediately call you back if an emergency arises. We will be paying you, and said paycheck will go into your bank account every day you work here."
"Every day? Why's dat?" Scout asked.
"Because we possibly won't see you the next day."
"Believe me; you'll see a lot of me. I don't die easily." The whole room seemed to groan at this.
Smith continued. "You will have room and food, of course. All of your rooms will be on the second floor of the building except for Engineer's, which will be in the garage." Engineer made a nod of a thank you at this. "Now you are called The Team, and before we send you on your missions you must be able to work as one. We run practice simulations in this building. In it, you will either be on one of two teams: RED or BLU. In this simulation, BLU will be trying capture control points that RED will be defending. You can die in these simulations but will respawn to life in about 15 seconds, like in video games. The levels will be ten minutes long. Heavy, Spy, Sniper, and Scout will be on BLU team and Demoman, Pyro, and Engineer will be on RED. Any questions?"
Pyro raised their hand. Smith sighed and pointed to them. "Yes, Pyro?"
"Mppt Mpphhhh Mhhhhhe-"
"Pyro, for the last time, we can't understand a word you're saying with that damn mask on your face!"
"Mph."
"Any other questions?"
"When do we go take a piss in one of these simulations?" Scout asked.
"Ya' can borrow one o' my jars." Sniper said.
"I think I'll pass then."
Smith didn't even ask if they were any other questions. "Everyone ready? Good." He said, not waiting for an answer. "Let's go then!" They followed him to an elevator. When it arrived, he tried to figure the situation out. "Okay, Heavy, you can go on." Smith didn't want Heavy to climb the stairs, else he rip him apart when they got to the top. Heavy went to grab his minigun, but Smith stopped him. "I can get a team to take your gun up the stairs, Heavy."
"No one touches Sasha." He said, snatching up the weapon and putting it on the elevator. Now over half of the elevator was filled with their bulk.
"Hey, get da fat man out of da elevator! We can't fit!"
"Shut it, puny boy."
"Or what? You'll shut it for me? Lame."
Smith continued, ignoring them. "Sniper, Pyro, Spy, and Scout can be the last to get on this elevator since they're small."
"Hey!" They said in unison, though Pyro's response was more like, "Mhhhhey!"
It might've been from fear of being on an elevator with Heavy in it, but Scout said, "Nah man, I can take the stairs. I bet a million bucks I can reach the top before ya! Watch; I'm gone!" Indeed Scout was, merely a blur as he headed right.
Smith called to him, "Stairs are to the left!"
"I knew dat!" Scout said and dashed that way.
"Alright then, Engineer, you can take Scout's place." Engineer nodded and got inside. "Second floor!" He called as the elevator closed. "The rest of-" He began but saw it was just Demoman left. "Guess it's just you and me then." He said, and they grumbled as they headed up the stairs; Scout mocking them at the top.
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BLU team
It was a long wait before the round of the simulation started so they had nothing to do but sit in silence. Scout, however, once again tried to break it.
"Alright everyone, I'm Scout. Now to make sure we can work as a team, I gotta know one thing, anyone hate da Sox?" He made a look that almost dared them to answer.
They groaned, tired of hearing about them. "What Sox?" Heavy said, the other two agreeing with them.
"You don't know? C'mon, man you really don't know?" Scout sighed. "Sad, man, real sad. Dey are da singlehandedly best baseball team in da world!"
"If et makes you shut up, I do not hate zat team." Spy said, speaking for everyone.
"Good. Now as you very well might know, I'm da singlehandedly best person on dis team and da only one apparently manly enough to talk, so I think I should be dis team's leader. So I think-"
"Puny boy can't be leader." Heavy suddenly said.
"Yeah, well a fat ass like you can't be either!" Scout said, challenging him.
"I crush you!" Heavy said, taking a step towards him.
"Ooh, I'm real scared. 'Heavy crush. Heavy smash'. What're ya, da Hulk? C'mon man! But if ya want ta' kill me, you'll have ta' catch me first!" Heavy let out a roar and started to chase after him. But Scout, being more than four times as fast as him, easily got away. "C'mon, I'm runnin' circles around ya!"
Spy suddenly tripped Scout, causing him to fall flat on his face while Sniper tried to keep Heavy from tearing Scout limb from limb. "You are such children." Spy said. "I zhought zis team would be more mature zhan zis."
"Whateva ya say, Frenchy." Scout said, dusting himself off. He then thought of something and grinned. "But ya didn't act so mature when dat shower of piss got all over ya!"
"Zat was indefinitely childish." Spy said, glaring at Sniper.
"Its fer defense, mate! Besides, where do ya go take a piss when you're busy turning everyone's 'ead into a fine red mist, ey?" Sniper answered.
"Wonder where he stores his shit." Scout muttered, and then made a horrified face. "And what he does wit dat."
Sniper continued yelling at Spy. "And what can ya do, mate? Turning invisible and 'aving a pretty gun isn't going ta 'elp ya from being blown inta bits! 'ow's that going ta 'elp us?"
"10 seconds left." The announcer said.
"I gahzer intel about ze ozer team! I am ze Spy!"
Scout spoke up again. "Yeah, I'm da Scout, nice ta meet ya; but dat's my job, man. I scout things out, got it?"
"You're a coward is what you are. Zat is how you learned to run so fast, I bet!" Spy said and returned to Sniper. "You as well! You hide en ze back while we risk our lives to do everyzing!"
"I'm saving your life, ya bloody wanker!" Sniper snapped back.
While his other teammates were yelling at each other and were distracted, Heavy went up to Scout and suddenly lifted him into the air easily with one hand. "Die, puny man!" Fear appeared on Scout's face. "Run now, coward!" This seemed to cause a spark that caused the whole room to erupt into a fighting scene. Though they had their primary targets when they began, it soon turned into no one knowing who was fighting who; whose eye they were turning black or teeth they were smashing.
Meanwhile, the countdown continued. "….3, 2, 1!" An alarm went off and doors that were once closed to keep BLU team inside until the countdown ended opened. The fighting team didn't respond to either one, so the announcer said, "The round has begun!" Still nothing, so she remained quiet.
RED team
"Got any aces?"
"Go fish."
The RED team was sitting on the control point, cards in front of them. A Sentry Gun, now in its most advanced stage by now being able to fire rockets, was scanning around the point. It had not fired a bullet since the beginning of the round. Demoman's bottle of scrumpy was shared between Engineer and Demoman, Pyro being left out, having no mouth to put it in anyway. The bottle was almost empty now, most having gone into a now drunk Demoman. Engineer fished a card from the deck.
It was now Demoman's turn. "Pyro…Do yeh…Do yeh got me any...any twelve's?" He said, speech slurred by his drunkenness.
"Twelve's aren't in the deck, Demo." Engineer said.
"Dammit!" Demoman said and took a long drink of the scrumpy, finishing it. He then started to cry. "Everyone…everyone thinks I'm a big one-eyed monster." He burped loudly. "Do yeh got me any…threes?"
"Mhhho fhhhshhh." Pyro answered.
"Pyro said go fish." Engineer translated. But Demoman wasn't in the game anymore; he was passed out, his cards scattered around him and a now broken scrumpy bottle in his hand. Engineer plucked a card from the deck and put it on Demoman's stomach. "You're turn, mumbles." He said to Pyro.
"Mppph Mhhhhy Mpppphhs?"
"What?"
"Mpppphhs."
"Look here, Pyro. Speak up or shut up, darn it!" Pyro grew angry at this and threw his cards to the ground, then taking out their flamethrower and burning the cards to ashes. Then Pyro burned the ashes. "Now what'd ya do that for, Pyro? That's tha' only pack o' cards!"
"Mph."
"Look, buddy, I'm sorry, okay?" Pyro didn't respond. Engineer got up and gathered his weapons together. He changed the subject. "You wanna go see what them BLU cowards're doin'?" He said with a smile, meaning he wanted to come to them instead of waiting for them to come to him. Pyro nodded. "Demo, guard this point here." He said to the unconscious man and chuckled. Going over to the Sentry Gun, he used his device to make it go back into the toolbox to make it easier to carry. By the time he got this, Pyro was gone, but he could see a red dot running toward BLU team's base.
Engineer set up his Sentry Gun at the gate of BLU team, where it was built back to its former state in seconds, and watched as it put bullet holes in them when they tried to run away from Pyro's flame after splitting apart after firing. When they respawned again, they had to run from both their teammates and the enemy team.
"An enemy's enemy is mah friend, right Pyro?" He asked after their opponents were dead once more. "Dominated, ya BLU varmin!" He yelled at their corpses.
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"…and this happened for the next five minutes, am I right, Mr. Smith?" A woman's voice said to him.
Smith was in a strange sort of control room where screens covered over a whole portion of an entire wall. At its controls was the woman, sitting in a chair, the back of the chair to him so she could watch the screens. On the screens were multiple camera angles of a building, showing The Team sleeping or, in Engineer's case, wide awake and at work with his machines. Screens also showed the simulation.
Smith shrunk at these words, embarrassed. Then, as if the woman sensed this, she spun around to face him. She was very aged, but her hair was dyed black except for a white streak going through it. She wore a purple dress with earrings to match and a cigarette was smoking in her hand. "Mr. Thompson." She began and Smith, his identity revealed as Thompson, froze for a second. He had not expected her to know his alias. She read his thoughts. "You didn't think we wouldn't know your alias, did we?"
"It was to protect my family; I-"
"Hush Mr. Thompson. Let's get down to the real business. You were ordered to find mercenaries to become a team of professionals for our missions. And out of one hundred, you chose these seven? These seven are in no fit for The Team. Four of them were fighting each other during the entity of the round and one, the drunken half-blind one, which I find to be a bad choice in the beginning, was passed out during most of it. We can't have that in the middle of a mission. How do you expect me to react to this?
"I should kill you for this. But since I appear to be in a good mood today, I'm going to give you a choice. We have a sniper posted near your house aimed at your wife's head. At the sign of my signal, he will fire."
"What! But-"
"Let me finish, Mr. Thompson. Your second choice is that I have another sniper to shoot you where you stand."
"But my wife is pregnant! You can't kill her and I can't let my baby go fatherless!"
"Ten seconds. If you don't decide by then, you both, or in reality, you three, will die."
Thompson spent a precious second to think. "How about if I give you all of the money in our bank accounts? Please!"
"Five."
"The house too!"
"Four."
"Please, don't make me choose!"
"Three. Two…"
"Wait! Stop! Choose me! Just-" Thompson's head flung back, a spurt of blood and brains shooting out of it. He collapsed to the floor.
The woman took a deep inhale of her cigarette. Then said, smoke coating her words, "Wasn't even your baby in the first place." She said to the body. Out of the darkness behind Thompson came another man. "Ah, yes Mr. Mundy. Your 'pay'. Don't you worry, we won't lay a hand on your family. I give you my word."
Mundy tipped his hat to her. "Pleasure doin' business with ya, sister." He then left, satisfied.
The woman sat back in her seat when he was gone. "I give you my word." She repeated, and then laughed. "That's a good one." She stopped. "What is it, Miss Pauling?"
Miss Pauling was surprised for a second for the woman to have heard come in. "Um, you just called is all."
"Yes I need you to take care of the traveling circus."
"Wait. What about-"
"Dead. Get to it Miss Pauling and get rid of the body."
"Yes Ma'am."
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Miss Pauling walked to the door of the room where the mercenaries had assembled the day before and was about to open it but then hesitated. She knocked instead. It opened a crack and Demoman's eye patch poked out. Then, realizing he couldn't see with it, he switched it to his good eye. Before Miss Pauling could say anything, he said, "Go home, lassie. Men are fighting here." He shut the door in her face. She sighed and knocked again.
This time Scout, hearing the commotion, opened the door. When seeing her, he opened the door all the way to reveal himself. "Hey. I'm da Scout. Nice ta meet ya." He smiled at her. "And what's your name?"
"Miss Pauling. Can I come in?"
"Miss Pauling, huh? Sure, you can come in." He watched her come in and shut the door behind him.
As soon as she entered, she wanted to get this over with. Being in a room with seven people who killed people for fun wasn't comforting. "Okay, then. I'm Smith's new replacement and-"
"Replacement? What 'appened to 'him?" Sniper asked, and Miss Pauling glanced over at his face, trying to read it, knowing what he had done. But his face was straight, not even a twitch in it.
An answer had already been prepared. "Fired. Now-"
"Why tiny man fired?" Heavy asked suddenly.
"Forget it. You-"
"Wanna go out to dat taco place after this? I'm free on Sundays." Scout said.
"Just listen! Okay, you're going to that simulation again today with the BLU team being Engineer, Spy, and Scout and RED team being Heavy, Pyro, Sniper, and Demoman! Got it?" She snapped at them, tired of being interrupted.
"Geez, what's got your panties in a bundle?" Scout said.
Miss Pauling left the room after that statement, not wanting to listen to the mercenaries anymore.
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BLU team
Scout was waiting at the gate, scattergun in his hands, ready to bolt once the announcer gave the ready. He glanced around and saw Pyro passing by and suddenly yelled into his microphone, "Hey RED team! Guess what? You suck!" The earpiece was connected to the speakers throughout the simulation to communicate to his teammates, but he wanted to have fun with it. He laughed to himself and didn't notice Spy sneak up behind him and suddenly snatch his earpiece from his head.
"May I borrow your earpiece?" Then without waiting for an answer, he said into the microphone in a mocking voice, "This is Scout! Rainbows make me cry!" RED team's laughs were loud enough for Scout to hear and turned red from embarrassment. He snatched up his baseball bat and was prepared to smack Spy in the face with it but the latter was already gone. He ignored it and, bored, went over to Engineer, which he saw was building something.
"What'cha doin', Eng?" He asked.
Engineer glanced at him. "This is a Dispenser." He said, patting it. "Designed it ma' self last night. By tha name, it dispenses ammo and health just in case ya get into trouble. 'Course for me, I can use tha ammo for metal to build other things."
"Cool! Can I try?"
Engineer was confused. "Sure, buddy. Hurt yourself and you can try it out." He shook his head and continued to work on it.
"Hey can I get one over near that cliff when da round starts?" Scout, said, pointing.
"I'm workin' on this one here. It'll be a short run back for you."
"But I need a Dispenser dere!"
"Sorry, son. Workin' on this one here." He repeated. The round suddenly started and Scout ran off. Annoyed that Engineer wouldn't build the Dispenser, he screamed into his earpiece, "Need a Dispenser here! Need a Dispenser here!" This repeated over and over again until the patient Engineer almost went crazy.
RED team
"Run cowards!"
"God save tha' queen!"
"Get 'am Boyos!"
"Hudda hudda huuh!" In their triumphant start of the round, they turned around to face Pyro. Pyro rose their shoulders and asked, "Mhht?"
"English, mate. We all speak it, might as well use it." Sniper said. Pyro, angry, decided to walk away instead of burning their teammate.
Demoman started to speak in a slurred voice, being as drunk as always and then ran into a wall and collapsed. "That English?" Heavy asked. Then he copied Demoman's actions. "R…run cow…cowards." He ran straight into a wall hard enough to collapse like Demoman.
Sniper sighed and face palmed at this. Suddenly a blade dug into his back and he cried out, trying to grab it in his last moments of life. "Take zat, you filthy jar man!" Spy said to Sniper, putting his butterfly knife away. He turned on his invisibility and Pyro came out of nowhere running at him, flamethrower spewing fire at full blast. It revealed Spy, who was then burned to a crisp.
Pyro glanced at their collapsed teammates. "Mhhyphhhr? Hhhvvy? Demhhhmhhhn?" Pyro nudged them with their foot. Thinking them all dead, Pyro knelt down to the ground and cried to the skies, shaking their fists, "Mhhhhhhhhhoooooooo!"
BLU team
"Bonk! Yeah, eat it fatty! Maybe dat'll convince your fat ass to lose a few pounds!" Scout said as he finished off Heavy with a blow to the head with his baseball bat and headed towards the control point. He heard Sniper's bullets whizz by his head and could feel the heat of Pyro's fire as he double jumped over it. As he finally landed on the control point he was supposed to capture this time, he cried out triumphantly before the sticky bombs near his feet exploded, instantly killing him.
"Kaboom!" Demoman said, doing a pelvic thrust and lifting up his lower body armor to show off his smiley face for the freeze cam to capture for Scout to see. The smiley face, as in a note with a smiley face drawn on it that was taped to his crotch.
Scout respawned near Engineer, who groaned when he arrived. "Hey Eng, can I have a Dispenser over dere?"
"I have fifteen fully upgraded Dispensers around tha place. Can't you use one of those, buddy?" The last word tasted like poison to him.
"But I need a Dispenser-"
Engineer finally snapped. "Shut the fuck up with the 'need a Dispenser here'!" He reprogrammed his Sentry Guns to attack Scout and the one beside him started firing rocket's his way.
"What the hell, man? What'd I do?" He continued to curse as he ran, trying to dodge the multiple rockets. Engineer cashed after him with his shotgun, trying to shut him up, which he wasn't until he was merely a pile of bloody body parts.
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"They don't look like viable candidates to me." Miss Pauling said, glancing at the screens and standing near the announcer's chair.
"Not yet. They may think this is a big game to them, but we can make this a war that can force them to become a real team. Let's see them laugh at that. Send them a team to their quarters tonight and let's see what happens."
"But…" Miss Pauling stopped when the woman rose an eyebrow at her. "I mean, okay. I'll get right to it."
"That's what I thought." She said, returning to the screens.
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Engineer
Engineer thought he heard movement during the night. He had been working, trying to upgrade the Dispenser, when he heard what sounded like footsteps. Getting up, he creaked open the door of the garage that linked to the building and snuck in, shotgun in hand. He locked the door and saw a light go on and walked softly towards it. A shadow of a person loomed, something in their hand. Engineer checked that his shotgun was full before charging in, planning to hold them at gunpoint and question them.
He charged in as planned but stopped as he saw merely Heavy there, eating a sandwich or, as he lovingly called it, a sandvich. The light had been from the refrigerator. Engineer sighed with relief as he was walking back until he felt the butt of a gun smack against his head, causing him to fall unconscious. He went black but not before seeing Heavy starting to flicker and melt into another figure.
Sniper
Sniper had been getting some sleep, the only sleep he provided himself to get, a mere four hours. But that was all he needed, and was a light sleeper if anything occurred. That was exactly what happened. He felt his door of his room creak open and knew it wasn't one of The Team. He had specifically told them to never open his door. The only possibility would be Scout, but the attack intended for the intruder was coming anyway.
Pulling his kukri from under his pillow, he used the flat side to smack it against the intruder once they got close enough. They staggered back and held up their hands. "Wait! I come in peace!"
Sniper gave him an odd look. "Shut your trap, ya liar. I'm not deaf. And ya stole my sleep."
"Really? Oh, I'm really sorry! I was just told to do this, didn't mean to do anything like that. I'll just leave then and let you get back to your sleep." This intruder was a bad actor.
"In hell, ya bloody wanker!" He stabbed the kukri through the intruder's heart, killing him instantly. Sniper grabbed his weapons and headed out the door to warn his teammates.
Scout
"No, ma. I don't wanna go to school." Scout said, half asleep, feeling someone try to arouse him from sleep."I think I feel a little warm, ma. I don't think I need ta go anymore." He rolled over.
"C'mon mate! Someone's broken inta the building!"
"Dey can wait until morning." Sniper had had enough of this and lifted the mattress from under Scout, causing him to tumble to the ground. Scout hit his head the wall as he fell and was wide awake. "What da hell, man? I was trying ta get some sleep!"
"So was I, before someone tried to kill me. Someone's broken inta the building!"
Scout glanced over at a nearby digital clock. "C'mon its only…" He squinted, trying to read it. "It's…Sniper can ya read dat?"
"3:00."
"Yeah, it's only 3:00 in tha mornin', man! Couldn't dey at least have waited until eight or somethin'?"
"Doesn't matter, mate. Let's go."
Scout grabbed his weapons and headed out, still grumbling about losing his sleep. He walked to the door and opened it, rubbing his eyes with one hand and his scattergun in the other. An intruder stood right outside and, in the middle of a yawn, fired his gun and killed the intruder with a blast to the head, their head exploding. Scout glanced up noticing. "Look at that, man!" He nudged the body with his shotgun.
Sniper gave him a look. "Ever thought of becoming a Sniper?"
Demoman
Demoman had been wandering the halls when the intruders arrived. His seemingly never emptying bottle of scrumpy was in one hand and he was already half-drunk. Or half sober if you're positive. Seeing the intruders, however, didn't stop him from cracking the bottle on one of their heads and chasing after them with his grenade launcher. Explosions rocked the whole building from it, causing the whole portion of the floor to collapse to the next.
He was knocked out from the blast and the floor caved in the garage. Demoman's limp body fell onto a Dispenser.
Engineer
Engineer regained consciousness when the floor crashed through the garage. He realized he was in a chair tied up, no doubt from the person who knocked him out. He wondered why he had not been killed but realized he needed to escape. But he had nothing sharp to cut through the rope and no weapons. He glanced over at Demoman, who had just fallen onto his Dispenser. He hobbled towards him, still tied, just missing a car sized chunk of ceiling that fell into the space he was once occupying.
He breathed a sigh of relief and nudged Demoman with his foot, hoping to arouse him so that he could untie him. There was no response, however, and Engineer was forced to sit there, helpless, until Demoman would hopefully awake.
Sniper
They had found Pyro chopping a burned body to pieces and, at that moment, thanked themselves for Pyro having that mask so they couldn't see Pyro's possibly maniacal expression on their face. But they didn't even dwell on it as they got together, trying to warn the others. It was then that they felt an explosion rock through the floor.
"I'm going ta go check that out. Scout and Pyro, try ta find tha others."
"Finally. This was getting boring anyway." Scout said and ran off, Pyro trying their best to follow.
As Sniper got closer to the explosion's source, he felt a presence behind him. He pulled out his submachine gun and started firing wildly. A few bullets caught on something out of sight and the invisibility cloak faded, revealing Heavy. Sniper was confused. "Heavy?" Heavy flickered and melted into another man, who proceeded to run away. Sniper chased after him, kukri now in his hand. He slashed it through the air blindly.
His efforts prevailed and cut the same man he found. The man fell and Sniper caught him. He was about to slit his throat when he thought about it for a second, and put his blade away. Putting the submachine gun against the man's head, he ushered him forward, taking him prisoner.
Spy
Spy had been awaken by the feeling that something was wrong. He bolted upright and reached for his revolver, sensing danger. But he couldn't find it and patted down his suit, desperate for it. Then he felt his wrist and found that his watch was also gone. Stress overcoming him, he reached for his cigarette case to grab one but also found nothing.
"Zis is bullshit." He said and proceeded to overturn furniture, trying to find these items. He found nothing but saw that he still had his butterfly knife and his lighter. It was enough, he supposed. Using the furniture, he reached an air duct system and crawled into it, hoping to find somewhere. He finally reached a group of people standing around discussing something. He also found Heavy, unconscious or dead, on the ground. How they managed to subdue Heavy flew through his mind but he ignored it.
He was called Spy, but he didn't bother to spy on them. He knew they were intruders and that his items had been stolen. And that was a dead man to him. Using his knife, he cut a piece of fabric from his suit and set it on fire. He dropped it on a nearby unoccupied chair, which immediately caught on fire. The fire engulfed the chair and a spark caught on a table and another spark on an oven. Then everything really started to burn.
"You smell something cooking?" One of the people said and saw the fire. They all scrambled to put it out but it grew even larger, too large for them to put out with merely their shoes. And the fire had already engulfed the sink in flames. They ran out of the room, coughing up smoke.
Spy laughed at them until he realized a flaw in his plan. An unconscious Heavy was still in the corner. "Dammit." He said and opened the air duct, holding his breath. He tried to drag Heavy through a door, but he was not strong enough. "Dammit!" He yelled and almost considered leaving Heavy before an explosion rocked the place and the floor exploded from under him. Heavy slid along with it, but Spy held on, trying to regain his balance. A flame suddenly licked his hand and he pulled it back, simply instinct, before losing his balance.
He fell and hit his head, almost knocking him out cold, landing in the garage. Shaking off the pain, he found a tied Engineer and an unconscious Demoman.
"Spah! Help me out, would ya?" Spy cut free the ropes with his butterfly and Engineer was free. "Thanks fer that, buddy."
"We are not safe yet. My fire will be here any second now."
"Dammit." Engineer said.
Scout and Pyro
Scout suddenly stopped, smelling the air. "Hey Pyro, do ya smell somethin'? Either Spy's had one too many cigs or da place is on fire." They approached the source and found the fire. Scout, seeing the intruders scramble out. "Oh hell yeah!" He said, firing at them with his scattergun. They fell at once under the power of the gun. "Yeah, take dat, ya freakin' morons!"
Pyro, however, went to the fire. Using their flamethrower's compression blast, they put out the flames but tumbled down a hole in the room. There Pyro found some of his teammates.
"Pyro? What're ya doin' here?" Engineer asked.
Pyro demonstrated what he had done by making a fire and then putting it out with his flamethrower. "Mhhhh mhhhd mmmmt!"
Spy, not knowing what Pyro had said, began to talk. "Let's get ze hell out of here before anohzer zing happens." Together, they half lifted, half dragged Heavy's body out of the building, getting assistance from Scout along the way. They came back for Demoman as well.
Sniper
As the whole team celebrated having survived the attack, Sniper approached Spy and handed him his cigarette case and watch. "Here ya go, mate."
Spy kissed the items, having missed them in the five minutes he had not seen them. Then he realized something. "Wait. Where is my revolver?" He saw Sniper's prisoner. "And who is zat?"
"Needed someone ta question, ta interrogate for answers. And I didn't find a-" Spy knocked the revolver out of the prisoner's hand just as he was about to fire it at Sniper's head. He snatched it up and pointed it at the prisoner. "Thanks fer that." Sniper said, still surprised that he had almost been killed. "Guess I owe ya then fer saving my life."
Scout suddenly spoke up. "Hey guys, don't mean ta burst yer bubble but Heavy's bleedin' pretty bad. I think he might be dead."
Engineer glanced at Heavy. "I think we might need a doctor."