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A/N: The crack continues!

Fairy Tale, Scary Tale

Chapter 2

~ Mamori, Mamori, Let Down The Monkey ~

"…Hiruma-san?"

Hiruma placidly chewed his gum and glanced at the large catapult next to him, otherwise known as the Ballista. Normally used to batter down the walls of a fortress by flinging large boulders, today it would serve a completely different purpose.

It would, frankly, be a catapult. And it won't fling any large boulder, but a small, terrified, scrawnyboy.

Hiruma loved moments like these, when he got to be plain diabolical just for the heck of it.

"Get ready to fire!" Hiruma hollered to the Oujyou men, not caring that he was actually not in charge of them. People would obey Hiruma – loyal or not.

His eyes roved around the meadow, searching for a sign. At last he saw it – three twinkles from the left, and three twinkles from the right. "They're in position!" Hiruma called to Takami, who pushed his glasses up with a frown. "Alright, let's get this over with before those two call for reinforcements."

"You mean that flock of pigeons there?" Hiruma pointed to the sky, where at least 15 pigeons were making their way to the north. Takami's jaw dropped. "WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP THEM!"

"Do I look like a bird-catcher to you!" Hiruma barked. "Forget reinforcements – if we don't get those girls out before sundown, I'll have my ears singed off!"

Takami visibly stiffened. Of course, having Wakana cry all day was not a good thing either. "Alright, let's go!"

"Ready, fuckin' money?" Hiruma grinned and tossed a dynamite into the catapult, where Monta grabbed it. "Just hand that over to the damn princess and we'll see what happens?"

"Eheh… you're not expecting her to breathe fire on this, are youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Monta shrieked when Hiruma cut the catapult loose, and he was flying without wings. "Aiiiieeeeeee!"

Hiruma and Takami shielded their eyes and watched the path of flight. Monta sailed through the air in a perfect parabola – right through the small window at the top of the tower. "Perfect." Both commanders chorused with satisfaction. Takami then waved the signal – for the next phase.

Across the field, Yukimitsu noticed the signal and called down to Kurita and Komusubi from the tree. "Go go go!"

On the other side, Sakuraba did the same to Shin and Ootowara. "Move out!"

Agon strapped on his armor just as Unsui finished putting on his helmet. "I'll go check what they flung into the window."

"Don't bother. A pint-sized monkey won't be able to break through the door." Agon groused.

Wakana was the only one who screamed when Monta whizzed through the window and smacked against the opposite wall. Mamori simply peeled him off, shook him back to shape and pried the stick of dynamite off his hands. "Dynamite. I should have known he'd want this to end with a bang." She said with distaste as she unwound the short fuse. "Monta-kun?"

"Erhhh…" Monta was still seeing stars. "Hiruma-san said… 'Jump when the tower shakes.' Guh… headache MAX!"

"Jump!" Wakana exclaimed. "This is too high! We'd die for sure!"

"Not before I kill him first." A vein was throbbing at her temple and Mamori jammed the dynamite at the door. She didn't know for sure whether the dynamite can open it, but that's not the point. Then trailing the fuse to the window, she looked outside.

From her vantage point, she could see what Agon could not – two battering-rams bearing down from different sides like giant buffaloes. Technically the battering-rams can do zilch, but there is a trump card she knew Hiruma would want to play, regardless. Heartless, absolutely.

"Wakana-chan, when I give the signal, we jump." She grabbed Wakana's hand and looked over at Monta. "Aren't you supposed to do something?"

Monta promptly clambered out of the window and scaled up to the roof, where he could see something else beyond the field – sleeping dinosaurs. "Ready!"

"Wait Mamori-nee, this is – KYAAAA!" Wakana screamed when Mamori pushed her out, lit the fuse and then leapt down herself just as the two battering-rams impacted the walls.

Hiruma's plan, she reflected, was wholly dependant on two things – timing, and cooperation. Though she had no doubt that her devilish commander could get the timing down pat, cooperation is completely out of his league. Not when you're cooperating with the Ojyou Knights.

On the other hand, having Wakana was something of a go-between, she considered – and then renewed her vow to smack Hiruma until his head spun.

It was all his fault.

Hiruma gave his word that Wakana wouldn't be harmed, and he intended to keep it anyway (if for nothing else, just to make sure he isn't in any deeper shit than he already is). So he followed Wakana's spectacular descent (silk skirts bloom very nicely – maybe she'll parachute down without help?) and just before Wakana could turn into splatter, she was easily caught by Sakuraba.

Hiruma grinned. One down, one more to go.

Then, several things happened at once.

One: Agon and Unsui sprinted out of the tower, fully intending to fight back.

Two: The roof of the tower exploded and Monta fell – singed, charred, but alive.

Three: …

…Mamori landed on a trampoline.

Well, not exactly a trampoline per se, but Kurita sans armor was a close enough description. Mamori bounced off his round belly and landed neat as a pin on her two feet. Carefully brushing off her skirts, she allowed Kurita and Monta to shield her from the debris falling around like confetti. In a low voice, she asked; "Where is Hiruma-kun?" just as Wakana asked Sakuraba; "Where is Takami-kun?"

A/N: Reviews are love. Do!