Alec's hands went to his pounding head as he opened his eyes slowly, relieved to find himself in his bedroom rather than the infirmary, although he couldn't remember moving. He tenderly placed his hand on his shoulder, sighing when he felt that his wound had closed over, leaving only slightly raised skin which he presumed was the result of scarring. Yet another battle wound to add to the collection of scars that littered his body. Alec slowly stood up and walked towards his bathroom, cringing as he saw how pale his reflection was. It was like looking at a ghost, rather than himself, and Alec could see that although his wound had closed up it had left two jagged marks on his pale skin, that seemed to stand out more than they should have. Alec was still covered in the grime from when he'd fought the demon that had bitten him, so he decided that a shower was the best course of action, and he was instantly grateful for his decision once hot water ran over his body, relaxing his aching muscles. As Alec finally stopped focusing on the poor condition of his body, his mind started to wander, and as always his thoughts returned to Magnus. Alec turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, his peaceful moment lost, and refused to give into the grief that pulled at his heart. It was tempting to simply collapse into a pitiful heap on the floor and cry, but Alec's shadow hunter pride prevented him from doing such a thing, and he held himself upright with clenched fists, forcing back his regrets until they once again became nothing more than an addition to his heavy heart.
Alec was about to step out of his bathroom when something strange in the mirror caught his eye, and Alec inspected his reflection closer, gasping and stepping back when his eyes looked completely pitch black. Alec blinked, and the distorted image was gone, Alec's usual ocean blue eyes staring back at him, however they lacked the glimmering happiness they'd possessed when he'd been with Magnus. All of the life appeared to be missing from Alec's body, leaving him as just a shadow of the man he could be, and Alec knew he couldn't blame his fatigue only on the demon poison that had been coursing through his veins. Alec shook his head and walked out of the bathroom, blaming the strange event on exhaustion, and after pulling on some clothes Alec went to seek out his siblings.
"Alec!" Izzy said excitedly as she rushed towards her brother, however she thought better of actually embracing him in his fragile state.
"Thank the Angel you're okay, you really had us worried," Jace said.
"Yeah, fine now," Alec said quietly, nodding a greeting to Clary, who was of course only a short space from Jace.
It appeared that not even the heavenly that was still affecting Jace could keep the two apart, although the supernatural force did seem to be finally fading.
"I was so worried the warlock might have stuffed something up," Izzy said, and Alec looked up at her with wide eyes.
"Warlock?" He asked, his voice full of hope.
"Just a friend of Izzy's," Jace said quickly, hating the look of defeat that washed over Alec's features.
"I wanted to make you something to eat, but Jace banned me," Izzy said after an awkward moment, trying to lighten the mood.
"Thanks," Alec said to Jace, earning a disapproving look from Izzy.
"If I don't practice how am I supposed to get better?" She asked, although everyone chose to ignore her, as no one wished to become her new guinea pig.
"Anyways, how are you feeling?" Jace asked as Alec sat down.
"Tired…exhausted actually, but aside from that pretty normal," Alec said, leaving out that he still wanted to rip himself apart for what he had done to Magnus, and would give anything to have the warlock take him back.
The past two weeks of him pining had made all of that obvious enough to his siblings and he could tell that they were worried. Both Izzy and Jace had tried to sit down and talk with Alec, and had told him that what happened wasn't only his fault and he should stop beating himself up over it and move on, but their words fell on deaf ears. The idea of even thinking about being with anyone other than Magnus only made Alec feel like his life would be even more devoid of purpose.
"That's good, but you should still rest," Izzy said, obviously still concerned for her brother.
"That doesn't sound very exciting," Alec said, not too thrilled by the idea of returning to his room, where he could ponder over all the ways his life was better with Magnus.
"We were actually about to go on a hunt," Clary said.
"And don't even think about coming with us, you need to get better," Jace said with a frown as he saw the interest in Alec's eyes. "I'm supposed to be the self destructive one, remember."
Alec didn't have the energy to make a retort on how he had already managed to destroy what he cared about most, so he let Jace's comment slide.
"Fine, I'll rest, but you had all better be careful," Alec said, although his voice lacked its usual enthusiasm.
"We will," Izzy quickly promised, and soon after the three of them got ready for their hunt, and after a brief goodbye they left Alec alone with nothing but his thoughts and regrets.