AN: I know I have been away for a very long time but I refuse to abandon my stories. I have a few new ones in the works but first I'm going to update the older ones! This is a very special update and is dedicated to someone who means a whole lot to me and helps me anytime no matter what. She may not have experienced this first hand with me but she certainly knows my past. Even though it's late Happy Birthday! Here's to another wonderful year and many more weeks of updates!

Chapter 2

The shrill ringing of her cell phone is what woke the agents the next morning.

"Agent Jareau" she answered with a low voice, her mouth dry from crying herself to sleep over Emily.

"Good morning JJ, wheels up in an hour."

Okay Hotch. I'll let Emily know." The blonde decided to let the brunette sleep a little bit longer while she packed their stuff. She looked at her friend sleeping with a frown etched on her beautiful face and wondered how it had gotten to this point.

The bandages on her arm needed to be changed as soon as the brunette woke up. JJ knew this was going to be a long journey with the brunette. She could not let this slide for too long, unfortunately if the team found out they wouldn't trust Emily and would definitely put Hotch in a tough spot.

The brunette was starting to toss and turn in her sleep so JJ slipped behind her and moved her dark hair to whisper in her ear. "Wake up princess, it's only a dream" the older woman whimpered out "JJ" as the blonde hugged her close "I'm right here babe open your eyes for me sweetheart."

"Jennifer?"

"I'm here Emily" the brunette reached back to make sure JJ was there just as the blonde kissed the palm of Emily's hand.

"I had a dream that you were d-d-disgusted with me and that you told the team and l-left me" Emily kept her head down as she spoke but JJ could hear the tears in her voice as she squeezed her a little tighter.

"I promise you Emily I am not going anywhere" she encouraged Emily to roll onto her back so that they were looking at each other. A lone tear slipped down her porcelain cheek that JJ immediately stopped. "I'm not asking you to stop this Em, but I am asking you to let me in." The blonde was not against begging, she knew Emily needed help.

The brunette nodded as JJ continued "we're wheels up in 30 so lets get ready. Our bags are packed, an outfit picked out for you and we need to change your bandage."

At that comment the brunette smirked "wow so domestic Jennifer" she said with a wink as she headed towards the bathroom to get ready.

One the two women were all dressed the last thing to do was change Emily's bandage. The tension in the room was obvious. Emily was nervous and annoyed at herself and Jennifer just couldn't figure out where to begin to help her friend.

JJ raised the brunette's sleeve and braced herself for what she may see. She noticed how high the scars went. Some were deeper than others, others fresher or just forming a scab. JJ could feel her heart breaking for this woman. What had happened that she felt she had no way out? That she had to hurt herself?

Once she finished with the gauze, Emily watched as Jennifer began to leave feather light kisses on each one of her scars till she reached the very top of her clothed shoulder where she left a kiss as well. She finally reached her tear stained cheek where the blonde left a chaste kiss. Emily let out a breath that she had been holding and grabbed the back of JJ's head, which forced their foreheads together. Both sets of eyes were closed and their breathing was heavy. Emily leaned in slowly while the blonde didn't move at all.

Soon enough Emily pressed her lips against JJ's and in that moment the blonde froze. She began to think about everything that could go wrong; work, friendships, and her family, how others would see her now. There were so many things running through her mind that JJ forgot to respond to Emily. Her eyes were wide open but she felt nothing but scared and insecure. Here was this, beautiful, scarred, stubborn woman opening up to JJ but she couldn't respond.

Once Emily realized the blonde wasn't responding she opened her eyes wide with fear and an apology already on the tip of her tongue. She mumbled an "I'm sorry" with tears in her eyes. Jennifer was frozen as Emily grabbed her bags and bolted for the door.

Emily's mind was running rampant, she couldn't understand how she screwed up so bad with her best friend. Now she was going to lose the only real friendship she ever had because she couldn't keep her feelings to herself. She continued running, passing Garcia on the staircase not bothering to stop when she heard the perky blonde yell her name. The only thing on Emily's mind was trying to take the pain away, the memory of her best friend frozen in her spot and not reciprocating her feelings.

Once she was out of the hotel the brunette was able to spot a local value store where she knew she would find what she was looking for. The brunette knew her blonde best friend had removed all the razors after last night and she needed to replenish. The agent walked into the store and grabbed the first pack that she saw, ran to the checkout counter, and located the nearest bathroom. She made two small cuts, one for letting JJ find out her secret and one for kissing JJ and probably losing her best friend for good.

The brunette left the bathroom quickly and made it to the ramp with three minutes to spare. The team looked at her suspiciously when she arrived late but the only one who didn't look up was her favorite blonde who was in the back of the plane. The brunette wanted nothing more than to be held in the blonde's arms the way she was this morning while waking up from a nightmare.

Emily finally took a seat across from JJ and when the blonde finally looked up she gave the brunette a small smile. It wasn't much but it was something. Once in the air the brunette had to use the restroom, she made eye contact with JJ but got up quickly before anything else could happen.

JJ gave Emily 20 seconds before following her not sure if Emily would do anything on the plane. Everyone was asleep so they wouldn't notice the two women. JJ hesitantly knocked on the door and heard the latch unlock. She walked in to find Emily staring at herself in the mirror with a sorrowful look on her face.

"I'm so sorry JJ, I should have never pushed you into anything and I certainly should not have kissed you without your consent" the brunette was shaking with fear silently hoping that her best friend wouldn't just walk away from her.

The blonde softly grabbed the brunette's wrist and rolled up her sleeve noticing the addition of two new cuts. She lifted the slender wrist and kissed to two cuts before looking into dark eyes, her other hand rested gently on pale skin as she leaned on her tiptoes to kiss the older woman. This time both their eyes fluttered shut and they knew this was right.

'I'm right here Emily and I'm not going to leave you" and for the first time in her life Emily felt safe and protected.