Chapter 2

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ELLIOT'S HOTEL. DOWNTOWN CHICAGO

Filming was done for the day and Elliot sat quietly in his hotel room contemplating the events of the last couple days. How could I have been so fucking stupid? He thought to himself as he drank his fourth beer of the night. A moment of weakness and he'd lost everything! He didn't love Mairym, she was a willing body when he was horny and without his wife; a means to an end. It had simply gotten out of control and he'd allowed it to go further than he'd meant to.

They'd been in Chicago for a month and he was already over it! It had been 32 days since he'd been with his wife and it was driving him insane! She was all he could think about! He and Olivia had a very physical relationship; the sex was insane and had only gotten better over time. He'd never gone more than a few days without being inside her since the first time she'd given herself to him, but of course, this was the first time since starting the company with Brian that he's ever had to be stationed out of town for this long with no contact. He usually only assigned himself to the jobs that kept him in the city, and when he did leave town, either she would make trips to join him on her days off or he would rotate his schedule by leaving another team member in his place so that he could travel home to her. This job however, he had been personally requested by Morgan James herself to be her personal detail for the duration of this shoot! She'd heard that he was the best and that was what she wanted. But this was too much! This was killing him! He needed his wife but with the extremely sensitive case they were investigating, her workload hadn't allowed her to leave the city for even a day and so here he was, stuck, sexually frustrated and going out of his mind!

It had been a long day of filming and when it was over, all he'd wanted was to retreat to his suite and relax. He'd just showered and gotten into a pair o sweats and a tee shirt when there was a knock at the door. He'd gotten up to open it to find his assistant standing there.

"Mairym, it's late."

"I know, and I'm sorry." She said, letting herself in. "But you still haven't gotten these contracts signed and they have to be sent out first thing tomorrow morning!" he sighed.

"Alright!" he said and walked over to the sofa to sit down where she'd already parked herself and had spread the contracts out on the coffee table.

"your lawyer says everything is in order, so all we need is your Han…cock" she said seductively and handed him a pen. He looked over at her as he took it from her hand and couldn't help but notice how scantily she was dressed. She had to know that coming into her boss's suite in nothing but short shorts and a tank top with no bra was inappropriate, right? He made a mental note to talk to her about it in the morning but right now, he just wanted to get her out of his suite as quick as possible because he could feel his body starting to react to what was displayed in front of him.

"Where do I sign?"

"there." She pointed to the contract closest to her, he quickly put his signature on it. "there." She pointed out the spot that required signing on the one that was between them. he signed it. "just one more…" she reached across his lap for the contract that she'd purposely placed so far away from herself and when she did, her breast practically spilled out of her tank top, her nipples brushing against his thigh.

"Mairym…"

"Opps, sorry. These things seem to have a mind of their own!" she said as she pressed a hand to her bosom. "right on that line…" she said. While he was guilty of looking and had to admit to himself that they were nice, they had NOTHING on Olivia's, he thought as he signed the last contract. As far as he was concerned, Olivia had the most perfect breasts he'd ever seen.

"All done!" he said as he gathered the papers and handed them to Mairym.

"Elliot, I… I know that being separated from Olivia for so long has been difficult for you…physically."

"What?"

"It's just… well, I know that a man like you has certain needs that when they aren't met can be… frustrating." She said as her hand rubbed his thigh.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Just letting you know that if you if you wanna exercise those needs, I can be perfectly discreet!" she said seductively as her hand travelled further up his thigh until it was at his crotch. He shouldn't have been, but right now he was so turned on. She was basically offering to be his fuck toy with no strings attached. No, he knew that he had to stop it before it went any further.

"Trust me, you don't wanna play this game!"

"I'm a big girl." She looked him dead in the eye. "I can take it!" Jesus, that went straight to his dick!

"You need to leave. Do it now and you get to keep your job!"

"or, you can let me stay and fuck me like you know you want to!"

He made the wrong choice!

He had no idea how it happened, but it happened fast. He's not sure how he got up from the sofa, or who initiated contact and he's not sure how those tiny little shorts she was wearing ended up around her ankles. What he is sure of is that right here, right now, in this elegantly decorated hotel suite, he has his assistant bent over the back of a sofa, her legs spread grotesquely wide and he is fucking her senseless with sheer, brute force! There is nothing romantic or gentle about this coupling, there was no kissing or foreplay involved. He has a wad of her blonde hair tightly entangled in one fist, while the other is holding tight to the back of the tank top she's wearing. She cannot move from the position in which he has her; exactly as he'd intended. Her breasts have completely spilled out from her top, but he doesn't care about her breasts or any other part of her except the part that he is mercilessly driving himself into again and again.

She didn't expect that he would be this intense. She'd fantasized about what it would be like to be with her boss but this…she wasn't expecting this, it felt as if he were literally splitting her apart!

He continued pounding her ruthlessly and gave no care to her pleasure; his only concern was his own release and he was finding it hard to achieve with her screaming bloody murder! He released his hold on her shirt and clamped his hand over her mouth, then closed his eyes and imagined himself inside of Olivia, hearing her soft, sensual moans... before he knew it, he felt himself coming and with one final thrust that completely bottomed out and hurt so bad that she bit down on her lip hard enough to draw blood, he spilled deep inside of his assistant then quickly released his grip on her and pulled out, pulling up his pants just as quickly.

"My wife's gonna be calling soon!" He said as he walked off. "You don't need to be here she does." And he continued to his bedroom and shut the door. She couldn't move. She stayed there slumped over the back of the couch as the breath slowly came back into her body, his semen leaking from her and her insides throbbing painfully from the fucking she'd just endured and she smiled. In her mind, this was the beginning of something real.

He felt hot tears sliding down his cheek, tears of deep regret because he'd known that he'd ruined the best thing he ever had and he didn't know how to fix it. it had been a week since he'd been caught; a weeks since he saw the devastation he'd cause the only woman he'd ever truly loved; the woman he'd sworn before God to love and honor and he broke her heart! She said that she never wanted to see him again, but he wouldn't give up, he would make this right with her if it took the rest of his life!

He stared at the phone and decided that maybe he should try calling her. The shoot had wrapped so this would be his last day in Chicago and he couldn't wait to get back to New York so that he could begin trying to regain her trust and earn her love and respect again. he knew that it would be hard but he was willing to do whatever it took. Brian told him that she'd gotten rid of his things and had changed the locks; it was going to be hard, but he was ready. Olivia and his marriage meant everything to him and he would not let either go without a fight!

I should definitely call her, he thought to himself and picked up his phone to do just that, however, before he could dial, it began ringing in his hand. He hadn't bothered to look at the ID before answering.

"Stabler."

"I've been trying to call you." Damn! He made a mental note to screen his calls more carefully.

"Mairym, this isn't a good idea."

"Why?"

"You know why. I love my wife."

"Always Olivia!"

"What? What do you mean always Olivia? It's always been Olivia; you knew that!" of course she knew that, but knowing did nothing to stop the words from hitting her hard in the gut.

"of course I knew that, but it didn't stop me from falling in love with you." He shook his head.

"Mairym, you don't love me. And, once we've gotten some space between us, you'll realize it."

"Space?"

"What we did, it should never have happened. My wife got hurt because of it and I have to make things right with her."

"You blame me for this."

"I blame ME for this! I betrayed my wife, I hurt her deeply. You were just… available." She couldn't stop the tears in her eyes from forming.

"Is that all I was to you… available?" she asked, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Mairym…"

"You know what? Don't! Go back to her; beg her, plead with her to take you back! But, while you're on your knees groveling for her forgiveness, you might wanna keep in mind, the other mess you've made!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I'm pregnant…and it's yours!"

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SQUAD ROOM OF THE 1-6

Olivia's POV.

A month had passed since the Chicago incident and since then, I had been using two very effective ways to deal with it – work and partying! When I wasn't putting in 16 - 20 hour days at the precinct I was in the clubs every night till six in the morning – no real balance, just anything to keep me busy and my mind off of the mess everything had become. The first thing I did when I got back to New York was to rid my home of everything that belonged to Elliot. He's lucky he has a friend like Brian who didn't hesitate to come and get everything and put it in storage for him until he got back. I had also met with a divorce attorney to see what my options were, but I left it at that for the time being. As for my lying, cheating husband, I hadn't talked to the bastard since that morning in Casey's apartment, which suited me just fine! He's been calling non-stop but I've ignored every call and erased every message. Hearing his voice only made it worse and I really didn't need that right now; he needs to realize that there was no going back from this. It was what it was, and what it was, was over!

This morning, I had finally taken the next step and given my lawyer the go-ahead to file, instructing him that I didn't want anything from Elliot, just my freedom. Like any divorce attorney, he looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

"Mrs. Stabler – "

"That's another thing, I'll be going back to Benson."

"Ms. Benson, you do realize that your husband has a very lucrative business; considering the circumstances under which the marriage is ending, I would have no problem getting you a very large settlement as well as very hefty alimony payments."

"That's not what this is about. He leaves with what's his, I keep what's mine." He opened his mouth to speak again but I cut him off. "and that is ALL I am looking for!"

I had gone over it in my head from every angle and there was no scenario in which I could see myself being able to get past this. I loved Elliot, he was the biggest part of my heart even still, and if I could have found a way to live with it, I swear, I would have, but the hurt was just too great!

To compound my problems, I couldn't stop thinking about Trevor! I knew that it was too soon to be thinking about another man, after all, I was still reeling from losing Elliot but Trevor made a huge impression on me; one way bigger than the incredible sex we had. Day after day I literally had to fight the urge to call him. I wanted to see him, I wanted to get to know him, to touch him again and feel those strong hands all over my – it's too soon! I knew that part of me wanting him so bad was me needing to move on from Elliot and I refused to be that girl – the rebounder. Still, I couldn't forget the way Trevor looked at me that last time; the way he kissed me… Olivia, snap out of it!

I was at my desk and had just finished up my fives. 9:30, I should have left an hour ago! Nick and I were the only two still here and he was preparing to leave.

"Still workin, Liv?"

"Actually, I was just finishing up. You headed home?"

"No…um, Cassie's, we're having a late dinner." He said, a smile on his face. Cassie was Nick's girlfriend. They'd been seeing each other for about six months. I'd gotten the chance to meet her when he first thought that he might be serious about her. He wanted to know what I thought of her, so he'd staged a dinner at his place and invited El and me. By the end of the night, I really liked her and told Nick that I thought she was definitely a keeper. I guess my opinion held a lot of weight, because 4 months after that night, they're still together and she and I have actually become good friends.

"I didn't think you'd ever smile like that again after Maria, I'm glad you found someone that makes you happy."

"Thanks." He said and paused for a moment. "Hey Liv… I know how hard this is but trust me, it gets easier. In the meantime, if you need to talk, I'm here for you." I felt tears sting my eyes.

"Thanks partner." I answered, just above a whisper as I wiped the corner of my right eye before the tear could escape. He put a hand on my shoulder.

"Anytime. Goodnight Liv."

"Goodnight Nick." He walked away from my desk, towards the doors but then stopped, and turned his head to face me…

"And Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"You'll smile again, too." Silent tears immediately fell down my face and I nodded, too overcome with emotion to speak." "I'll see you tomorrow." He said and went on his way. Did I really just cry in front of my partner? I asked myself as I got up from my desk, needing to put some water on my face.

15 minutes later I was all packed up and was on my way home for the night when my phone rang.

"Hey, Alex!"

"Where are you?"

"Just leaving work."

"Go straight home, I'll meet you there."

"Ok…what's?"

"See you in a few." And she hung up. One thing about Alex, she really knew how to pique one's interest. Once outside, I quickly hailed a cab and headed home.

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OLIVIA'S HOME. UPPER WEST SIDE.

I got to my townhouse and Alex was already waiting inside.

"Ok, what was so important that I had to rush home?" I asked as I put my things down by the door.

"Come. Sit." She said as she patted the spot on the sofa next to her. She had this look about her that made me uneasy. Bad news was coming. "Have you talked to Elliot at all lately?"

"Are you serious?" She was. "No. Not for lack of him trying, but, no."

"Maybe you should have."

"What? Are you feeling ok?" I couldn't believe she was suggesting such a thing. As if I would have anything to say to that man!

"Olivia I'm serious."

"Ok, what's going on?"

"I know why Elliot's been calling you."

"Obviously"

"That too, but it's become more than that.

"You wanna share?"

"He's been trying to tell you something." She was really dragging this out. "He wanted you to hear it from him first."

"Hear what? Alex spit it out, you're killing me here!"

"Elliot proposed to Mairym last month!"

You know that loud tone that they sound when they test the emergency broadcast system? That was the sound inside of my head at the moment. It were as if my processors had shut down completely. As I began to regain my senses, I saw Alex still talking to me but no words were yet audible. I was staring at her as if she were new and strange to me when my ears suddenly came back. "Olivia? Hello?"

"What did you say?" I was trying so hard to appear unfazed.

"Elliot and Mairym…"

"I heard you! I just – how do you know this?"

"Brian. Elliot told him three weeks ago when he got back. Brian told me today. Since Elliot couldn't reach you, Brian thought it would be best if I were the one to tell you before you found out."

"Last month? He proposed to her last month? When?"

"The week after you found them together."

"There has to be more to this, what else did Brian say?"

"Olivia -"

"I need to know!" There was a long silence before Alex finally spoke.

"He asked her to marry him because she's pregnant!"

How many times can someone be completely shocked and dismayed in the span of three minutes? Apparently, two.

"No…that's…he…"

"Liv, I'm so sorry."

"Why? You're not the one who lied, and cheated, and got your side piece pregnant!"

"Are you -?"

"Just when I managed to put some of me back together… We were talking about starting a family, I even went off the pill. I was gonna be the one to…" My tears began flowing in torrents. "How could he do…?" Alex was at a loss for words so she did the only thing she could have done at that moment; she took me in her arms and she held me while I cried and she cried too. Then, after a long moment…

"Aww, honey. Do you need a drink?" She offered, still in tears.

"Yes please." I replied through my sobs.

...

Later, Alex and I sat on my living room floor after we'd finished off a bottle of wine and were now doing shots of Stoli Elit. Suffice it to say, we were feeling no pain.

"I'll tell you something…" I was drunk out of my mind and my speech was now horribly slurred. "I'm done! He can have Mairym. Fuck em both!"

"I think it-it's I think it's about time" Alex said as she shakily raised the shot glass to her lips. I don't know which of us was drunker at this point.

"you didn't let me finish. 'Cause from this as from right now Idon't give a fuck! Idontgiveafuck! SO, fuck him, fuck her, just fuck it! Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it!

"Fuck it!" she agreed before she passed out. I guess she was drunker! …Just as I got up to get a blanket for her… "We should go out!" She exclaimed as she rose up, scaring me half to death!

So there we were the two of us, drunk off our asses but not caring. We went to Hashtag and danced till three in the morning and got even drunker before going back to my place and crashing in my bed fully clothed. Later that morning while stirring from my stupor I rolled and went over the edge of the bed, making a loud thud as my body hit the hardwood floor.

"Ow." I just lay there for a moment before I slowly pulled myself up in time to see Alex cradling her head in her hands.

"What. The. Hell?" she exclaimed, eyes still closed.

"The floor hit me." I said as I crawled back into bed.

"How much did we drink last night?" she asked, eyes still closed.

"Too much." Suddenly, the alcohol began talking back and my stomach turned. "I feel sick!" I cried as I ran to the bathroom, my hand covering my mouth.

"Amateur!" Alex said as I made a run for it. I got to the toilet without a second to spare before the vomit erupted from my mouth in violent bursts. After hugging the toilet bowl for another ten minutes, I crawled my way to the shower and got in, still in my clothes and hit the cold water. The shock of the cold woke me right up and I sat there for a few minutes before I stood and removed my clothes, and turned on the hot water. After I was done washing my hair and body, I hit the cold again for a rinse and stepped out feeling much better, wrapping myself in a big, fluffy towel before going back to my bedroom to get dressed for court. I left just after nine with Alex still asleep in my bed. on the cab ride to the courthouse, my mind began to wander and I cursed myself for letting this happen to my marriage.

If I hadn't been so selfish and had just gone to him, he never would have turned to her… I immediately pushed the thought from my mind. Then I thought about the night Casey had called to tell me that she was in a restaurant watching Elliot in a corner booth with a gap-toothed blonde and that they looked very…cozy. Hearing that my husband, the man who I loved more than life was cheating on me was bad enough, but hearing it from my best friend was downright humiliating! Why am I being tortured with all of this on top of my hangover? I thought as I pushed that memory away as well

Then somehow, Trevor crept into my thoughts and I thought of his kiss. His hot, sweet, fiery kiss and I sighed.

If only I'd met you first!

Those words were burned into my brain. What if he had? What if all those years ago, it had been him instead of Elliot? What if he had been the one I'd given my heart to? The one I'd married, would I be sitting here, right now with my heart torn in pieces? I pushed those thoughts from my mind as well. I barely knew Trevor and I was sure that I would never see him again. he'd remain in my mind as nothing more than a pleasant memory…the problem with that was, it had been more than just my mind that he'd worked his way into.

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