Come Undone – Chapter 2

EDWARD

"Fuck," I hissed to myself as I joined Jasper behind the bar.

"Dude, I'm sor—" he started, but I just cut him off by holding up a hand.

It wasn't a secret around here. There wasn't a person who worked for me who didn't know about my crush on the gorgeous brunette who came into my bar every Friday night – sometimes Saturdays, depending on her school workload. Hell, even Emmett could tell something was different about me when it came to her.

Isabella Swan, according to her ID. Bella to anyone she greeted. God, she was so pretty and smart and easy to tease. And flirting with her came naturally, like breathing. While I schmoozed people for living for tips, with her it was more, so much more. In another place and time, I would've already asked her out, kissed her, maybe even more, but my life wasn't my own, and despite how badly I wanted Bella Swan, I had to be careful.

"Two Bud Lights, two Killian's – make that three Bud Lights all day," Jasper called out.

I sighed, pulled bottles, and poured from the tap. It didn't take long to catch him up, catch the kitchen up, and when I made it down to the spot where Bella had been sitting, she wasn't there.

"Hey, I'll sign her tab and take her card, Edward," Rose offered.

"What? Where is she?"

"She said she had a headache, but she probably went home to finish her paper," Rose said, her hand still out.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "How long ago?"

"Just now."

"Shit," I hissed, leaving the bar and slamming out the door.

I really needed to apologize. I needed to explain why I was acting like a damned lunatic with her. Just as I stepped out into the balmy Tampa night, what I saw a few parking spaces down made my blood boil.

James. That motherfucker. Not only had I told him to leave "my girl" alone, he'd gone and fucking touched her. Bella had been utterly adorable when I'd brought James's beer to her. Her sweet face had said it all – she didn't want it, but she didn't know if she could or should turn it down. When her dark-brown eyes had landed on me, there was a longing there that matched my own, so I gave her an out with James. Or so I'd thought. Apparently, the asshole didn't listen.

I punched him before saying a word. I punched him again because he deserved it. I was going to punch him one more time simply because it was a fantastic fucking outlet for my frustration, but I heard Bella call me.

Dropping James's drunk ass onto the asphalt, I walked to her to make sure she was okay, that he hadn't touched her – God help him, violated her.

My heart broke a little when she didn't answer me. Just inside, barely an hour ago, this beautiful, smart woman was looking at me like she'd eat me alive, and that feeling was completely mutual, but now she could barely look me in the eye. Damn it, I needed to fix this shit.

"I know you're upset with me, but did he hurt you?" I tried not to grunt out the last part like a caveman, but I think I failed.

"No, he just wouldn't let me in my car. I was coming to get you or Emmett."

Nodding, I sighed in relief that she knew to come for me if she ever needed and that James hadn't truly hurt her. I stood up, walked to James, and snatched his ass up by the collar.

"You're done here. Not even the band will touch you now." I gripped his neck hard. "Leave now, without saying a fucking word, and never show your face here again. I promise, I'll make you regret it if you do." When he scampered away without a word, I knew underneath all his bravado, he was a coward. Bella's slap probably would have driven him off, but it wasn't a chance I'd wanted to take – ever.

Once he was gone, I turned to find Bella sitting in her car. Panic made me break out in a sweat. I really didn't want her to leave, and I definitely didn't want her to leave thinking I didn't want her. I knew I was driving her crazy.

She needed to know the truth about me, and then she could run for the hills.

"Wait! Bella, please? Let me at least put some ice on that wrist, okay? Give me…ten minutes?" When she agreed, albeit reluctantly, I added, "Maybe I can explain my terrible behavior tonight, too. Hmm? Please, Bella. If I don't explain it right, then you can slap me like you did James. Nice job on that, by the way."

I felt like a damn hero when she laughed, but I led her to the apartment building next door to the restaurant.

"Is this…" She trailed off, pointing to the door.

Smiling, I nodded a little. "This is my parents' place. Mine is the one across the hall."

"Does that drive you crazy?" she asked, glancing between the two doors.

"It used to, but now it's a necessity." Before I turned the knob, I took her by the shoulders, slipping up to cup her beautiful face. "Bella, I need to be honest with you. What happened back in the hallway – God, I want…" I sighed deeply, wanting to kiss her so badly, but I bit my bottom lip to stop myself. "I can't just… My life is not my own. It's complicated."

"You're married."

"No! No, sweetheart, but…" I shook my head a little. "It's a long, complicated story, but it's easier if I just show you."

I knocked lightly and then opened my parents' door.

"Daddy!"

A small torpedo landed against my legs, and I laughed, picking up my daughter.

"Fairy baby," I said, nuzzling her sweet-smelling neck. "Why are you up so late?"

"I believe that would be my fault," my mother admitted shamelessly. "Alice was late getting her nap today, so I've let her stay up a little past her bedtime." She reached by me, holding out her hand. "You must be Bella. I'm Edward's mother, Esme Cullen."

"It's nice to meet you," Bella said, shaking her hand and looking to me.

"Bella, this is my daughter, Alice." I nuzzled my daughter's cheek, jiggling her gently. "Alice, this is my friend Bella. Say hi."

Alice waved at Bella, tilting her head a little. A bit of shock crossed Bella's pretty face, but then understanding did, as well. All I'd been saying to her was adding up.

"Hello, Alice," Bella crooned, glancing back to me. "God, she's beautiful, Edward."

"Tank you," Alice said through a giggle. She grabbed both sides of my face, saying, "You stay."

"You…go to bed," I growled playfully against the palm of her little hand.

"You sing to me," she countered, tilting her head.

I couldn't help but grin at her. She was just shy of three years old, and it was me and her against the world most days. I honestly don't know what I would've done without my parents when Alice suddenly landed in my lap about a two and a half years ago. They kept her for me on the long, late weekend nights while I worked.

"Do you mind, Bella? I'll just tuck her in, and then I'll explain at my place. Okay?" When she nodded, I smiled and then toted Alice down the hall to the room my parents set up for her. "Bedtime for fairy babies," I told Alice, who giggled when I put her in bed and pulled the covers over her head.

"You sing. The bad dream song," she demanded, pushing the blanket back down.

I did as she asked, grateful she was still too young to know what most of my music meant. And sometimes, I sang just softly enough she couldn't understand the words anyway. Alice had been soothed by my voice since she was a baby. It never mattered what I said or sang, but it had everything to do with the tone.

As I sang softly about guarding against bad dreams, watching over her, and protecting her in the night, Alice's bright-green eyes that matched mine started to droop, heavy with sleepiness. I lucked out when it only took the one song.

"Love you," I whispered against her forehead.

"You…" she mumbled in her sleepy state.

I walked out to the hallway, closing the door softly. "She's out," I told my mother, who was coming to check on us.

"You want her tomorrow?" Mom asked.

"Weren't you taking her to the beach tomorrow? Just keep her here until I close tomorrow night."

"I figured." She smirked my way. "She's a beautiful girl, Edward."

"Stop. I have to explain things to Bella, so let me go do that."

My heart ached at the thought of the coming conversation. Alice was the most important thing in my world, and I couldn't just bring random women in and out of her life. It wasn't fair to her. However, Bella wasn't random, and I wanted more with her. But not everyone accepted someone's baggage. Not everyone wanted to deal with a kid. It would hurt if Bella walked away, but I would completely understand.

We walked back to the living room where my dad was chatting with Bella. He glanced my way. "Need me to check in downstairs?" he offered, wearing a small smile, because it really wasn't a secret how I felt about the girl standing up from my parents' sofa.

"Please," I answered gratefully, and he left with a nod and a squeeze of my shoulder on his way by. I turned to Bella. "I'd still like to talk, if you'd let me try to explain everything."

Bella smiled and nodded. "I'd like that." She waved to my mother as I led her toward the door right across the hallway. "It was nice meeting you."

I unlocked the door to my apartment, allowing Bella to go on in. I smirked at the change in my life in the last few years. What used to be a bachelor pad now looked like a daycare. An overflowing toybox was next to the big TV and the cartoon DVDs. Little girl ribbons and bows and dolls and stuffed animals were everywhere – the coffee table, the sofa, my piano. Where guitars once leaned against the wall, they were now hung high on the wall so little hands couldn't break them.

"I'll get you some ice for the wrist, Bella. Please have a seat," I said softly, gesturing to the living room. I found one of Alice's gel ice packs in the freezer and came back to find Bella looking at the framed pictures I had of Alice. "If you're looking for her mother, you won't find her…not pictures, anyway. Alice is solely my responsibility."

"I really need a poker face." She turned to face me, wrinkling her nose adorably.

I laughed. "Oh, no… I love that I can read your expressions, sweetheart. Don't change a thing." I smiled at her blush but held up the frozen gel pack. "Hope monkeys don't offend you."

Bella giggled, taking the plastic pack and setting it on her wrist. "I'm okay, you know."

I nodded, shoving my hands into the front pockets of my jeans. "Yeah, I know, but I think I needed an excuse to come clean." I grimaced at how that sounded. "My behavior tonight… I'm sorry, Bella. Sometimes, it's hard to reconcile what I want with the reality that's my life. I was doing okay until you stepped into my bar however many months ago."

Bella smiled softly and sweetly. "Okay, so—" she sat down on my sofa "—tell me about Alice."

I nodded again, nervously pacing in front of her. "A little over three years ago, I was the lead singer in the band you saw tonight. I was twenty-three, single, in a band… Or as my brother called it – young, dumb, and full of come."

Bella snorted.

"Sorry, that was bad. But he's not wrong." I sighed, raking a hand through my hair. "There were small bars and even smaller paychecks, but the parties were huge. They seemed to never end. We played a lot of college bars all over Florida. There was a girl – Chelsea. There were drugs and alcohol – lots of both. It's no excuse, but things happened." I shifted on my feet, shaking my head.

"Edward," she called softly. "It's okay. No one in this room is a snow-white virgin."

I let out a deep breath and went on. "I didn't know about the pregnancy. Neither of us were worried about keeping in touch, if you know what I'm saying."

"Yes. Please stop worrying about offending me."

"One night about two and a half years ago, we're setting up right downstairs at my parents' bar for a gig, and a lawyer shows up with a case-worker from the Florida Department of Children and Families – DCF – and she's carrying a baby." I sat down on the sofa next to Bella. "Alice was born too early. Chelsea had put me on the birth certificate as the father. Apparently, she'd stayed clean just long enough to carry Alice through the pregnancy, but that was as long as she could go, and she just…left her."

"Is she—"

"She's mine." I smiled over at Bella. "She's all mine. We tested just to be sure, and we also fought Chelsea for sole custody. She signed her rights over without much fuss. Last I heard, she'd moved to New Orleans, but that was a year ago, so who knows where she is now."

Bella frowned. "How does a mother do that?"

"I stopped questioning it, Bella. I'm grateful she's not a part of Alice's life." I shrugged a shoulder. "So at twenty-four, I became a father. A single father, at that. She's amazing and smart. She was so little at first, which is why I call her fairy baby, and I was paranoid and protective and sleep deprived."

Bella giggled, nodding for me to go on.

"She's my anchor and my dreams all rolled into one tiny little package. And she dictates my life." I said that last part in a whisper. "No more band or traveling or parties. No more random women. I needed a stable job, so my dad let me step in as manager of the Pour House. Living next to my parents went from a curse to a blessing in the blink of an eye. I honestly don't know what I would've done had they not been there for me. And as you saw…they spoil her rotten."

Bella laughed. "Says the man who did exactly what the child told him to."

Grinning, I nodded, sitting forward and resting my elbows on my knees. "I needed to be honest with you. She's my life, and I can't change that, but I also won't force her on anyone who can't deal with it. Am I making sense?" I turned to face her. "Since you first walked into my bar, I have fought and fought the way I felt, but I can't fight it anymore. I'm…I'm…putting the ball in your court, Bella. I want you, but not just a one-time thing, either. I want to see where this goes, but I come as a package deal, and I can't change that."

"I wouldn't want you to change that," Bella whispered, standing up from the sofa.

She set the gel pack down on the arm of the chair on her way to the pictures I had on the wall. She was quiet for a moment, and I was pretty sure I was about to hear rejection. Bella was in her last year of college. She had her whole life ahead of her, and I knew she had family all the way across the country in Washington. I wasn't even sure I stood a chance now.

I leaned forward again to rest my elbows on my knees. My fingers gripped my hair as I stared down at the floor.

"Why were you coming out to the parking lot, Edward?" she asked, suddenly closer than I was expecting.

Glancing up, I smiled to find her right in front of me. I picked up her hand and kissed the wrist James had grabbed.

"You didn't pay your tab," I teased her.

"Pfft, Rose has signed mine before, so no…"

Wrinkling my nose, I nodded. "I know. I just… I needed to apologize. You got the wrong impression in the bar, Bella. That wasn't me turning you down. That was me trying to stop myself from losing control. You have no idea how badly I… But I needed to be honest, and I needed to find the courage to do that with you. I was coming to…"

"So I wasn't crazy back in the bar," she whispered, jerking a thumb behind her.

"No, Bella."

"You wanted…"

"God, yes."

Bella stepped closer, coming to a stop between my legs and asking a question I wasn't expecting. "What if she doesn't like me?"

"Uh, who?"

"Alice!"

I laughed, pulling her closer. "Alice doesn't like naps, green beans, and going to the doctor. That's about all a two-and-a-half-year-old dislikes. She's pretty easygoing otherwise, sweetheart. I promise you, she'll love you."

Bella went quiet again, and I shamelessly took in her pretty face. She was thinking things through, and that was fine by me, because at least the look of disappointment or rejection or hurt was gone from her face. Letting her go back at the Pour House after the band's set had just about broken me into two pieces.

I could see it would be so easy to fall for the girl standing in front of me. So easy. It wouldn't take much. I liked her too much as it was, and she still hadn't said anything. I picked up her hand, kissing her wrist again, and I found myself singing against her skin, a song begging her not to go.

"Bella, please end my suffering. I get it. It's a lot to deal with – I'm a lot to deal with – but you're killing me—"

She cut me off with her lips meeting mine. Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her to my lap and sat back on the sofa, but I held back a little.

"Mmm," I hummed against her lips, pulling back and cupping her face. "Does this mean what I think it does?"

Bella smiled and nodded, licking her lips. "But Edward, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm an only child; I've babysat like once, and the kids were older."

Chuckling, I kissed her again. "That's okay. I didn't know what I was doing either. Hell, I still don't."

She nodded, glancing down between us and back up to my face.

"God," I whispered, trailing the backs of my fingers across her cheek, "you're so beautiful. Earlier, I wanted…"

"What?" she asked. "What did you want?"

"I wanted to kiss you in that hallway. I wanted to see you sitting on my barstool in your underwear like Rose threatened."

Bella giggled, her cheeks reddening a little. "I'm sure. What else?"

"Bella, you can't ask me that," I said, shaking my head. "I've had dreams where you're on my lap like this. Asking me what I want is dangerous. I've wanted you for so long, but I was too scared to tell you the truth." I cupped her face, reveling in the fact that I could touch her, that I didn't have to maintain a professional demeanor or hide behind a lie or my bar. "I want to take you out, spoil you. I want to take both my girls out and show them off to the world."

"Okay."

I dropped my forehead to hers, my lips brushing hers. "I want to kiss you – really, truly kiss you – and not come up for air for days. I want to kiss until we're both coming apart at the seams."

Bella placed her hands gently on either side of my face. Her gaze darted between my eyes and my lips. She went quiet again for a heartbeat or two.

"But Bella, what do you want?"