That's Amore

A/N: Klaine Valentine's Day Challenge Day 2 – "That's Amore" by Dean Martin.I wanted Blaine to sing in Italian here, but I don't know Italian and don't exactly trust the free online translation programs to prevent me from writing something offensive (just my luck), so you'll have to imagine along with me.

"No way," Kurt said with a decisive shake of his head.

"I'm telling you, I can," Blaine answered with equal conviction.

They continued back and forth as Santana and Rachel returned to their table with a round of drinks. "Oh, lord, what are my two favorite gays arguing about now?" she said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, Satan," Kurt answered, never losing a battle of sass with anyone, "my dear sweet husband here claims he can make any song into a heartfelt ballad like he did with 'Teenage Dream' back in the day." It was a testament to how far they'd come that Kurt and Blaine were able to even discuss that performance.

"It's not a claim, babe," Blaine interjected with a wink, "it's the truth." Kurt was the one to roll his eyes this time as the girls looked on and laughed.

"You know," Rachel chimed in, "there's really only one way to settle this." All eyes turned to her expectantly. "We pick a song at random, and you," she pointed a finger at Blaine, "go up there," she then jerked her thumb toward the stage at Callbacks, "and perform it. Now."

"Ooh, I like that idea," Kurt said enthusiastically.

Blaine took a sip of his drink, very slowly and deliberately. He put it down and looked around the table, his eyes meeting Kurt's last. He leaned in slightly, his eyes flicking down to Kurt's mouth then back up as he said two words: "Bring it."

"Oh, it is on." Kurt exclaimed. "Your ass is mine, Anderson."

"In general, yes, but not this time," Blaine returned, followed by the inevitable, "Wanky," from Santana.

"Yay!" Rachel cheered. "Okay, I have some really great ideas…"

Kurt cut her off with a hand on her arm. "No need, Rach," he interrupted. "I got this. Do you have a pen?" Rachel, a bit disappointed at not being able to suggest songs of her own, stuck out her lower lip and handed Kurt a gold Sharpie from her purse. Kurt raised an eyebrow, and she countered with, "What? Someone might want an autograph!"

Kurt snickered and shook his head. He grabbed a cocktail napkin and quickly wrote something on it, folded it in half, and handed it to Blaine. His husband opened it, raising his eyebrows in surprise and confusion at the choice. Then, to Kurt's dismay, a sly smile came over his face. "Thank you, love," he said, kissing Kurt on the cheek as he slid from his chair and headed for the stage. He looked a little too confident for Kurt's liking.

Blaine spoke with the manager at Callbacks before taking the stage. He seated himself at the piano, and instantly began playing a slow, random melody. Leaning into the mic, he started, "Hi, everyone, my name is Blaine." The din in the bar lowered slightly as it always did when a performer took the stage. "I'm going to play something special for my husband over there," he looked in Kurt's direction and winked – the stinker actually winked, "and I hope you all enjoy it."

He segued into a slow, moody intro. Kurt could just make out a hint of the melody to the song he'd chosen, but the way Blaine was playing it, he was sure no one else had a clue. Then he began to sing, emotion thick in his voice, the words slow and sultry – and Italian.

"You son of a…" Kurt muttered, before covering his mouth with his hand. He started to chuckle, which seemed out of keeping with the tone of the song playing, but he couldn't help it. As much as he hated to admit it, Blaine was going to win.

"Oh my god," Santana blurted out after the first couple of lines were sung. "Is that…"

"Yep," Rachel answered before she could finish. "Yep it is. He got you, Kurt," she laughed.

None of them knew Italian, but they all knew the song – an old classic from Dean Martin which was usually sung in a very upbeat, bouncy manner. The song would have been nearly impossible to pull off as a heart-wrenching love ballad with the lyrics in English, but by taking advantage of the romantic sound of Italian and betting that few in the bar spoke the language, Blaine had taken the win.

While he listened to the song in Italian, Kurt sang along in his head in English, smiling and shaking his head slightly in disbelief.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore
Bells will ring, ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing, "Vita bella"
Hearts will play, tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool, that's amore
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet, you're in love
When you walk in a dream but you know you're not dreaming, signore,
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli
That's amore!

He finished with a flourish to a round of enthusiastic applause from the crowd, many of whom had also picked up on the song he was playing and were impressed and amused. Smiling broadly, Blaine returned to the table to find his husband and friends standing and applauding. He stopped in front of Kurt and held his hands out to either side as if to say, "Well?"

Kurt shook his head and laughed, then hugged Blaine tightly. "Fine, fine," he said as he pulled away. "I concede. You win," he added.

"Grazie bella," (Thank you, beautiful) Blaine answered, giving Kurt a sweet kiss on the cheek. "I hope you liked it."

"Of course I did, even if you broke the rules a bit," Kurt couldn't help but add. Blaine stepped back and held his hand over his heart in mock offense. "How dare you, sir!" he exclaimed. "A Dalton man never breaks the rules. We may bend them a bit, however" he added with a sly glance towards the girls.

They all returned to their seats and chatted, the girls congratulating Blaine on his performance and his win over Kurt, which Kurt took in stride as a good sport. Finally, Blaine turned to Kurt and said, "I have to ask – how in the world was that the first song you came up with?"

"I was watching a movie on the old movie channel, and they had this commercial for a best-of-Dean-Martin album," he answered nonchalantly, sipping his drink.

"Only you, Grandma," Santana quipped.

Kurt stuck out his tongue at her and then finished his drink, saying, "Well, Grandma here is calling it a night, I think."

"Aw, Kurrrrrt," Blaine whined, "not yet!"

"Okay, you have two choices, Blaine. We could stay here and hang out, or," he leaned over and whispered in Blaine's ear. Whatever he said made Blaine nearly spit out his drink as he blushed fiercely.

"Well, ladies, it's been fun," Blaine said brightly and quickly, standing up from the table. "I'll go get our coats, baby," Blaine said as he made a bee-line for the coat check.

"What in the world did you say to him, Kurt?" Rachel asked as she and Santana looked on in wonder.

"Let's just say," Kurt began as he rose from the table himself, "that he may be able to sing in Italian, but I can talk dirty in French."

He walked toward the door to the sound of Rachel's laugher and one more raucous "Wanky!" from Santana.

A/N: What can I say? That's Amore!