Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls!

Title: A Little Vandalism Goes a Long Way

Summary: (Teen!Delinquent AU) Dipper and Mabel run away from home. It's not their fault they can't get along with the other kids.

...

ferality- Thanks!

werepirechick- That's a really big compliment, seeing how I'm a big fan of many of the Gravity Falls AU's. =)

The Keeper of Worlds- I sure hope so. =)

The 6th Spectral King- A two-parter is all you're getting, I'm afraid.

...

Dipper fluffs a pillow made out of a trash bag, grimacing. "I have a newfound respect for grunkle Stan."

"Hey. He, at least, took his car. He was homeless in style." Mabel wrinkles her nose. "Can you take mine?"

"Mabel, they're trash bags. There's literally no difference in the level of suck."

"I beg to differ, Dippingsauce. There's spoiled milk in this one."

"Ulgh. Fine." He violently shoved his over. "But only because my brotherly ego demands it."

Mabel took it with a smirk. "I was counting on it."

They stumble into Gravity Falls the next day, clothes in tatters. Dipper's nose was numb to their own stench, but he didn't doubt it was there.

"Where to?" He asked wearily. "The Shack is the first place they'd look."

"McGucket's mansion?"

The both hesitate. The old man had truly been given a bad lot in life, and they'd both feel like trash on the side of the road if they ruined the happiest days of his life. No, worse than that; they just were trash on the side of the road. They could at least live with that.

"Wait." Mabel grabs his shoulder. "I've got a better idea."

The irony of the fact that Wendy was the only Corduroy child to not leave Gravity Falls hadn't been lost on anyone. Her brothers had chosen the lives of wrestling, football, and fishing, respectively, while she had stepped up to take up Manly Dan's work; he had gratefully retired to easier things; like starting the odd fight, and maybe filling in for a security guard here and there.

Either way, she'd built herself a cabin at the very edge of the town; something nice and secluded. The perfect place to ask for a change of clothes and maybe the use of her hose.

"You think she'll even let us in?" He asks as they hovered by the front door. "Wendy's got a big heart, but we did just sleep in an alleyway last night. We're not exactly presentable."

"Only one way to find out!" Mabel chirps in a slightly disbelieving tone. She steps up and knocks at the door with a sense of purpose.

Wendy yanks it open a few moments later, blinking down at them. "What in the-"

By 'blinking down', Dipper means that literally, and not in the snobbish sense. His sister, easily the tallest between the two of them, only went up to her chin. Dipper wondered if he should feel ashamed that her shoulders were wider than his, then soothed it over with the reminder that she'd spent her entire life chopping down trees, while he was more of the hacker type.

She leaned against the door frame, crossing muscled arms. Despite having beefy arms- and probably legs-, he was mildly relieved to see she still had a belly of pudge from the diet of a busy working woman. She has very comfy hugs, is all. Dipper would hate for her to suddenly be hard all over. (It's her body, of course, and therefore her choice, but still.) "What did you two do?"

"Something very stupid and probably illegal." Dipper promises.

"We can't help it if we have the decision-making capabilities of worms." Mabel argues, punching his arm. "We're filled with anger and hormones!"

"Oy vey." Wendy rubs the bridge of her nose. "Get in here."

The woman pulls them both in by the shoulder, not so much as blinking at the smell. "You're taking a shower. Both of you."

"Dipper first. He's got that male sweat thing going on. Also, he slept on spoiled milk."

"I didn't need to know that."

"As much as I'd like to, that's not very gentlemanly."

"And you're not a gentleman." She sticks her tongue out.

"Hey, now. At least I'm trying. Your charms have seriously been lacking lately, lady Mabes."

A strong hand shook both of them in turn. "Either choose who's going first or I'll throw both of you in there with some blindfolds."

Mabel holds out a fist for rock, paper, scissors. He accepts the challenge, pitting his usual rock against her usual scissors, then switching it to paper halfway down. She gives him a toothy grin before disappearing up the stairs, knowing full well he'd let her win. This was far from their first visit, although it was their first use of her shower.

"Good." Wendy breathes out, leading him to the dining area. "And you're gonna tell me what you're doing here in the middle of spring while you wait."

"Early visit?" He offers, feeling like he's being led by the earlobe rather than the shoulder, metaphorically speaking.

"As much as I'd like that, not plausible."

"Uh, nice... table?" He ran a finger over the sturdy surface, watching as the older woman sat down and put her boots up.

"Thanks. I built it. Now, stop stalling and give me the sob story."

He places his dirty elbows on the table and presses his chin into his hands. "We... might have run away from home? That might be something we've done. Maybe."

For a moment, the notion of throttling him seems to be on her mind. Then, she relaxes. "Why?"

"Stupid reasons. In hindsight, it really doesn't make any sense. Teenagers make rash decisions, you know?"

"Normal teenagers, yeah." Wendy plants her arms on the table and leans forward. Her boots clunk dully on the wood floor. "But not you guys."

"Wendy?" Mabel calls from the other room. Dipper hears the shower water be cut off. "What do I do with my clothes?"

"Dump 'em in the basket. You can borrow some of mine."

There was a pregnant pause. "Wendy?"

"Yeah?"

"What if they don't fit?"

"Oh, please, Mabel. You're not that much smaller than me. There's a belt on my dresser, but you're not gonna need it. Everything's drawstring."

The sound of footsteps pitter-pattering brought them back to the conversation at hand. "Look, Dipper. You two being here could potentially bring cops to my door. And not even of the Blubs and Durland variety, either; I could bribe them with some tea. I- at least- deserve to know the reason."

Dipper draws imaginary pictures in the grain. "They were gonna send us to military school. Different military schools."

"Ah." Dawning realization lit up her voice.

"Hey, Wendy?" Mabel, once again. "Do you have anything against tattoos? Or piercings?"

"That depends. Didja get 'em legally? Because don't tell me if you didn't."

"Well..."

"Say no more. Get your butt out here."

Mabel tip-toes out in an oversized pair of boxers and white undershirt, scratching at her shooting star. Her nose and belly ring were in place, things she never really wore at home.

"You're rocking that Stan look, Mabel." Wendy tells her, smug.

Wide-eyed, she looked herself over. "Holy crap. I totally do look like Stan."

"It's a slippery slope, Mabes." Dipper says seriously, pulling a chair out for her. "Next thing you know, you'll be running a tourist trap in the middle of the woods."

"Eh. It's a living." She slumps into the open seat, pushing him out of his. "Your turn, bro-bro."

Dipper was relived to see Wendy carried both male and female brand deodorant, and picked accordingly. It wasn't very surprising, when he thought about it; she'd always balanced between masculine and feminine, and he could see her preferring one over the other on any given day.

Nabbing a sweatshirt and baggy shorts for himself, Dipper returned to find Mabel sitting alone, and the smell of cooking from the kitchen.

His stomach growled. "Dude, food?"

"Food." Mabel agrees.

The front door hesitantly creeks open. "Hey, Wendy? Oh, man. Is that pancakes I smell?"

His sister suddenly remembers her lack of dress, and crosses her arms self-consciously. He doesn't really understand- seeing how she doesn't really have anything to hide there; she's fairly flat by nature- but doesn't comment.

Soos confidently strolls into the room, pausing only momentarily when he spots them. "Hey, dudes. What's up?"

"Hey, Soos." Dipper greets, feeling vaguely offended. "Did Wendy call you?"

Said woman trots into the room, frying pan in hand. "Nah, man. I think the smell of burnt food a' la lumberjack brought him to my door."

"I did miss breakfast." Soos patted his belly sheepishly. "Got any extra room?"

"For a friend? Always."

"Thanks."

Wendy pulls her flannel coat off to drape it over Mabel's shoulders. "Here. By the way, you're getting jobs. No free rides in this cabin."

"We can stay?"

Her eyes darted to the older man. "I'm guessing that's what Mr. Mystery is here to tell us."

"Hey. I can't help it if the Shack is the only number they have." Soos shrugs. "Your folks thought you might come here."

Dipper found himself bristling. "They're not mad?"

"Hurt, more like it." His brow furrows. "They hope you staying here might help you sort some junk out."

"So... that's it? They just let us go?"

"Well, I had to convince them a bit first. I figured there had to be a reason you came all this way, you know?"

He leaned across the table to punch Soos's shoulder. "Thanks, man. You guys are the best."

"Yeah, yeah." Wendy, hums, already halfway to the kitchen. "Just don't think you're getting out of school because of this. Or work."

Author's Note: I now introduce you to Teen!Delinquent AU Wendy. My pal and I call her Squishy Wendy.

Here's some fun facts.

-Non binary that goes by she/her pronouns.

-Often houses Thompson, who circles between her house and Tambry's (whom Robbie lives with), as well as three odd jobs. He refuses to live in his mother's basement.

-Main medicine hut of Gravity Falls. Human, magical creature, etc, can come to her for medicine kits.

-Destined to die via an axe to the chest after falling out of a tree, much like her ancestor before her, who fell on his own axe, but that isn't going to happen for many years yet.

Alright, guys, same rules apply, as usual; if I'm misrepresenting something here, by all means smack me upside the head. I'll listen. Everyone writes/draws skinny Wendy, who is beautiful and lovely, but I thought I'd give a not-so-skinny lumberjack a try. I love her just as much, if not more so.

I've got a job-hunting Teen!Delinquent AU idea in the works; not sure if I'll make it it's own oneshot, or just add it onto this one.

-Mandaree1