The Friday Before…

It had been a pretty uneventful day really. The whole team had spent most of the day sitting at their desks doing paperwork. The only time they had really even moved was to get lunch. It had been Kensi's turn to buy, but Deeks had insisted that he come with her. He had been doing this a lot recently. He always insisted that he go places with her. Not that she was complaining. She liked spending time with him. She really did. However, since their kiss, spending time with him often meant she was confused out of her mind.

God, that kiss. She wasn't going to lie it had been great! Amazing even. But seriously, could he have picked a worst time to do it! They had been dancing around their 'thing' for weeks, months even, and he picks the one time she had to leave to kiss her. It made it seem like she wasn't interested, like she wanted to ride off and leave him standing there. She hadn't, not by a long shot. And yet, the opportunity to discuss it had never arisen. From that day her very own version of a 'series of unfortunate events' had occurred. His kidnapping and torture, her job commitments, his PTSD (not matter what he said, she still believed it was there), and their constant inability to communicate had caused her mind to become so confused.

Did he want her? Was he ready to start something? Will he ever be ready? She didn't want to push; she had learnt from Jack that pushing was not going to help, so she didn't. But that also meant that she was left in limbo. Was she expected to wait around forever? She wasn't even sure what she was waiting around for! So she had taken the initiative, and had accepted an invitation to brunch with a guy from her gym. It was no big deal. Really. Nothing would probably come of it, so she could just go back to pining over her partner again.

Deeks had made endless conversation on the way to the food truck, not much different than normal. She had listened, and made smart-ass remarks throughout, just like she normally had. But then he had asked, "Hey Kens, you busy tomorrow?"

Crap, why did he have to ask that? She really didn't want to have to tell him about her date. Not yet, well, not ever really.

"Um, I don't know, why?" If he was going to ask her out now, she would be pissed! Of course she would cancel her original plans for him, but still, she would be pissed.

"Oh, just wanted to see if you wanted to catch some waves tomorrow morning, maybe catch a bite to eat after. I hear the swell is meant to be awesome tomorrow! Was thinking of asking Eric to come, thought you might like to join in too." He looked at her and smiled. Sometimes, he just had no idea. None at all!

"Oh, I have plans actually. Sorry, slipped my mind. So yeah, I can't make it. Maybe next time." She had given him a smile, praying that he would ask any more questions. Thankfully, they had just pulled up to the food truck, so his attention quickly diverted to his lunch, and the conversation was forgotten.

The date was no big deal anyway, no need to cause any trouble.

Monday morning…

She had snapped. She hadn't meant to. Really. She had wanted to tell him when they were alone. Well, she didn't really want to tell him at all, but especially not surrounded by the rest of the team. He had pushed though. He wasn't going to stop. So she had snapped.

The look on his face told her she had just broken his heart. She really had. She knew it had because telling him had broken her heart too. God, why did it have to be like this? Why couldn't he have just said he was ready? That he wanted them to be together. That he was ready to live happily ever after with her!

Thankfully, Eric had called them just in time. Without thinking she had got up and left. She didn't go to OPS though. She headed straight for the bathroom; she needed to clear her head. By the time she got there, her eyes were watering and she was having a hard time breathing.

The weekend had gone great! It wasn't meant to. It was meant to be brunch with a good-looking guy, maybe some flirting. Instead she had had a great time with a funny, charming guy who, as opposed to Deeks, had told her exactly how he felt. He had told her that he had been checking her out for weeks, trying to build up the courage to ask her out. He had said that she was exactly the type of girl he had been looking for, and that he didn't want to mess around. He had wanted the real deal.

At first, Kensi had been taken aback by his bluntness, but after spending some time with him, she realized, sometimes that wasn't a bad thing. He was sweet; he had made her laugh, and when he had suggested heading to a winery in the afternoon she really had no idea that she would be staying the night. But she had, and she had come home in a relationship. Well, pretty much in a relationship.

But seeing Deeks' face just now, well, she felt as if she could just curl up in a ball and just die. She didn't think she would have had to tell him. She didn't think she would actually watch his heart break right in front of her eyes. She realized, just like Deeks kissing her on that cliff, she just didn't think.

So, that's it. Hope you liked it. I felt some backstory was needed, hence the flashback. I feel this chapter is starting to set the story up a bit, especially now that I know where I want to go with it. Hope you liked it. Please let me know your thoughts!