Hey guys! So this is the second chapter to this story and honestly I don't know how many more there will be. I'm thinking around 1-2 more sOoo yeah

I hope this is good...enjoy!

P.s. - My Twitter is iconicaustins if YA waNNA HOLLER AT ME AIGHT

*DISCLAIMER* I'm poor how would I own this

xXx

He didn't go to Dez's. He didn't go to the bar. He just sat, feeling guilty and exhausted.

His current bus stop situation was kinda cliché and awkward but he had no where else to go.

Indeed, he found himself sitting, surrounded by the still pouring rain, under a bus stop, because he honestly couldn't face anyone at the moment. Also, partly because he forgot his car keys.

Tears were flowing down his cheeks, almost as freely as the rain that was pouring on the metal roof above him.

However, he hated that he was crying because he knew that he wasn't the one who should be heartbroken. The girl who he had practically torn her heart from her chest should be.

But no matter how selfish he may sound, he felt like a part of him had died. Like he was slightly crushed on the inside. He wasn't sure if she accepted who he was, or how he felt. If she ever will.

Possibly she was just too broken to fully understand the situation. He couldn't blame her for not giving comfort or acknowledgment to what he had said. To what he is.

Austin felt dazed. He couldn't think straight and the patter of the rain sounded as if it was a depressing lullaby slowly drifting him off into a deep sleep.

If only he didn't feel as shitty as the sky surrounding him.

xXx

She didn't call Trish nor did she get out of bed. She just laid.

She felt numb in all areas. Her mind, bones. She felt incapable of moving at all. To think. To cry.

Her eyes ran dry, unable to produce tears. It felt as if two weeks had passed, but in reality it was only a few hours.

Possibly a day?

She wasn't counting, and quite frankly she didn't care.

Her body was afraid to leave her bedridden state. She was scared to call or speak to anyone. Sadness was something she didn't fancy too much.

There was no need to explain her current life issues to anyone and end up bawling her eyes out again, most likely for the twenty-seventh time

She was terrified that if she ever dared to get up, her feet would be cut open by the broken shards of her heart that were scattered all around the apartment.

It wasn't just her heart that would wound her. It was every picture, every thing that was cluttered in their (most likely her) apartment. Any thing that would remind her of him, would just make the gaping holes in her body bleed out even more.

Even worse, she was still stuck in a fog of disbelief.

She hated him, and never wanted to think about him or speak to him ever again. But at the same time, she loved him. She loved the way he hums when he cooks, she loved the way his hair flops just the right way, and she loves when he hugs her tightly, making her feel like she's unable to breathe.

But she needed to stop. She needed to stop loving him. She needed to stop thinking those thoughts about him, because he would never be the man she had always thought he was. Support him, sure she would, but she would never be rid of the romantic feelings.

This hell that she was living in, was reality. Not a dream. And she needed to learn how to face that.

Yet she still wished with all her might that she would wake up and forget.

In fact, every single tear stain that scattered her pillow cases was a wish. A wish to be happy again, without him. Wishes of different possibilities. Because maybe, just maybe, if she wasn't so attached to this man named Austin Moon, she wouldn't going through this right now. She'd be living in California or back home in Miami with her nice brunette fiancé, chatting to all of her friends about the new rock that decorated her left ring finger.

She knew for sure that one would remain a wish.

She had been waiting for him to pop the question ever since she had turned nineteen. They were young, sure, but she was so absolutely positively sure that he was the one. Her soul mate.

She believed it too. However now, It's hard for her to think that he is what he is, because every time they had ever locked eyes, either from across the room or during intimate moments, he would always look so happy and in love and she was sure she would know that look from anywhere. That look on his face was permanently cemented into her brain.

He could make her feel a spark no matter the distance between them. He could make her heart beat a mile a minute.

And to think that it was all an act. He never truly felt happy with her. He never was happy with her body either. She neglected one thing that he wanted most...

Goddamnit. Her mind wouldn't stop.

This is why she didn't want to think about this or see anyone, let alone vent to somebody. She couldn't think.

Her sore and chapped eyes began to relentlessly flow. Fountain of wishes that would never come true.

Perhaps if she had been better for him, or treated him even more nicely, or let him in when she shut him out, he wouldn't be so interested in the opposite sex.

She was thinking selfish thoughts, but maybe they weren't so bad compared to him pretending to be in love with a girl while he craved the male anatomy.

She was said girl.

All her mind would do was ponder. She created at least a dozen accusations in her head about him. Considering where he had been all those nights, why every time he came back he had looked so flushed and content. It made sense to her now, all of it.

If only she knew who made him feel so content.

Before she had known about his sexuality and the reasoning for his nighttime rendezvous, she would always lie to herself. Perhaps he went to the gym, or for a jog every night. Yes that must be it she had thought.

But how come he never asked her to jog with him?

Why did he never tell her where he was going?

He was always going 'out'. She had tried to squeeze the torturous thoughts out of her mind. He's still yours, she had thought. Still yours. She was blinded.

She wanted him so bad that she lied to herself in order to keep him.

And too look where she was now. Unhappy and without him. For good.

Of course she loved him, and she doesn't think she will ever stop loving him. She loves him enough to understand what he is, but not enough to understand why he did what he did. At this moment in time she was too cold and heartbroken to feel the slightest bit of remorse for him.

If only she hadn't said yes to him, when he asked her to go on a date with him when they were younger.

If only, that stupid little asshole would've never serenaded her in the first place.

xXx

He woke up cold and soggy underneath of the bus stop.

There was a woman sitting on the opposite side of him, staring at him like he had three heads.

Well he's fucked up enough to break the heart of a fragile girl, so why not give him three heads to complete the whole circle?

Just the cherry on top of his shit excuse of a life.

All he wanted at the moment was to see Dez. He could make him feel better.

However if Austin did go, he would feel even more shitty. It's like he could practically hear Ally yelling at him in her same broken tone, 'Oh really?! You just practically crushed me, and you go hang out with the guy who you let fuck you while you were still with me?! Nice going douchebag.'

But did he really have anywhere else to go...?

Before he knew it he was knocking on Dez's door and being ushered inside.

You had no other choice, he told himself.

You want to see him.

Dez greeted him with a worried gaze and wide eyes. "Wa-oOh, what happened to you?"

He ran toward his linen closet to grab a towel while listening to Austin.

Shrugging off his wet hoodie Austin began, "I told her, bro."

Dez carried a towel toward him and fussed Austin's wet hair a bit before draping it across his shoulders gently.

With a sad smile Dez asked, "How'd it go?"

"Not good..." Austin stared at the floor, afraid of revealing his puffy face and guilt-ridden eyes.

Dez moved Austin over to the couch, slinging an arm over his shoulder and slumped down next to him.

"She uh-" Austin's voice broke slightly, "took it really bad."

Dez squeezed Austin's shoulder assuringly, trying to make him feel alright. "She'll come around don't worry. It's very hard to understand and comprehend in a situation like this."

Austin finally looked into Dez's eyes. He began to tear up again. "I'm a piece of shit. I can't believe I did this to her. She'll probably never move on or leave the apartment ever again, I've really fu-"

Dez shushed him with a finger to his lips.

"Austin, you can't worry so much. This is a very tough situation and she'll take quite a bit of time to heal, so will yo-"

Austin nudged Dez's arms off of him and stood up. "No, Dez! You don't understand. I broke her completely! She'll never even want to look at me again! God knows if she even accepts who I am!"

Dez shot up quickly to meet his gaze. "That's where you're wrong Austin, I do. Are you forgetting that this happened to me too?Look Austin, you need to understand. It's a shitload of weight that you just dumped on her, now calm down!"

Dez rarely raised his voice, so Austin immidiatley knew he fucked up.

Austin sighed, "Look I'm sorry I just-"

Before AUSTIN could finish his sentence, Dez lunged at him, attacking his lips at a bruising force.

Austin groaned into their kiss almost immediately, raking his nails over Dez's shirted back.

Austin lightly kissed the shell of Dez's ear, "You always know what I need," he growled.

And in that moment when they were both stripping each other madly and eager, Austin was happy. Well...at least when he was with Dez.

Boy kisses, and boy touches were his favorite.

xXx

It took Ally exactly two days after the incident to call Trish.

Or like to even go near a phone.

She almost threw it against the wall due to the multiple phone calls and text messages from Austin.

She just needed time. She couldn't think straight since what happened.

She just needed to rant and talk to someone for once after isolating herself for two days, never moving except to use the bathroom.

Trish would really be there to support her. Her mom wouldn't give less than a shit about her current situation, rather than Ally herself. And Lord knows where her dad was at the moment.

Trish cried when she told her. She cried because she felt horrible for Ally, and also because, and Ally quotes, 'damn...why does it always have to be the hot ones'.

But it really did affect her having grown up with Austin and Ally. It is quite the surprise to find out your childhood friend and long, long time boyfriend to your best friend has come out to be gay.

Ally cried right along with her.

xXx

He tried to call her, text her. Nothing. He didn't expect anything back. He didn't blame her.

He felt icky, like his whole current life situation life was an actual teenage novel paged ripped right from the book.

All he wants is to be happy and he can't be happy when she's not.

If she's happy, I'm happy.

But she was sad, and that means he was too.

Dez tried to get Austin to go right over to her and talk to her. However, Austin argued back strongly. He was scared. He was scared of how she would react if she saw him. He was scared if she would say anything mean to him.

Mean, concerning what he had told her. He had told her the hardest thing for him ever to speak aloud, and all he wanted was that clarification of her accepting him.

All he wanted was to be accepted.

All he wanted was for the both of them to be happy.

xXx

She forced herself to leave the apartment. She felt caged in some torturous dungeon, constantly being reminded of her dark past and her vicious enemies.

The past and those enemies being everything that smelled like Austin, every picture, and every pair of his high-tops.

(Even the wallet chains that he neatly displayed on their key holder)

(And every bottle of syrup in their cabinets)

She put on the biggest pair of rain-boots she owned, afraid of the shards of her brokenness stabbing through her flats, and set out into the still gloomy, gray world that currently described her shitty life.

xXx

She broke down when she passed Jack's Flaps.

She made a B-line for the apartment.

xXx

He left to see her.

He made it half way to their apartment until he spotted an alley (ally) garden.

Lilies.

Her favorite.

He made it back to Dez's in 5 minutes flat, puffy eyed.

xXx

IM SORRY IF THIS WAS SO SHITTY ! But anyways thank you for reading & such! Reviews would be pretty cool :)