Chapter 2
A/N: Per the request of Mossclaw (Guest reviewer) I have decided to continue GOLD TITANIUM ALLOY! to include the reactions of the team when they realize that their clothes are missing. Not only am I fulfilling this request, I'm extending it out for probably at least two more chapters, maybe more. (The plot bunnies have finally started to earn their keep!) I hope this lives up to your expectations, Mossclaw. Here it goes.
Disclaimer: If I owned Marvel or any of its affiliates, do you really think that I would be writing fanfiction?
5:30 AM
Natasha woke up early because she always went down to the gym before breakfast. She stumbled sleepily to her chest of drawers, hoping to find that Tony had actually done the laundry. Sadly, she found, he hadn't. He hadn't done the laundry, or even returned the still dirty garments. Upon further investigation, she found that her entire wardrobe was missing. She just didn't know what had happened to it all. Normally, she wouldn't allow herself to be seen in her nice pretty pajamas. No one in Stark tower had ever seen her wear anything but black and red. She wondered how many stares she would get when she showed her face while wearing her chocolate-brown-with-turquoise-polka dots-spaghetti strap-and capris pants-pajamas. She didn't seem to have any other options at the moment, though, so she headed toward her bedroom door to go find the fool who had taken her clothes. Stuck to the door was a piece of paper. It read:
Team pajama party in the shop, eight AM. Don't miss it!
-Tony
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5:45 AM
Steve woke up to the Reveille alarm sound on his new cell phone. Now that he was awake, he wondered how one turned off the alarm.
He decided to just wait until it turned off on its own, and got up to get dressed for his workout. Only, he realized, none of his clothes were where they were supposed to be. Nothing in the closet. Not a single garment left in the drawers. Nothing. So, he headed out of his room in his boxers and undershirt to see what had happened. On his way out of the room, something caught his eye. A brightly colored post-it note was stuck to his door. He didn't know it, but every member of the team had a post it note exactly like it. From Tony. Something about a pajama party in the shop later. Steve decided to wait for his workout until his clothes were recovered. He headed out to the kitchen to see what was going on.
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6:00 AM
Bruce woke up to the sound of two angry Avengers outside his door. Natasha was yelling, and Steve was knocking and yelling at Natasha to stop yelling. It didn't really get the day off to a good start when you woke up to yelling and banging at your door. But instead of showing his anger, Bruce took a few deep breaths to get back to his Zen-like state of calm before he got up. Before he went to the door, he looked at his reflection in the mirror on his closet door. Normally, he would get dressed before being seen by his co-workers, but he figured the dark blue pajama set wasn't as embarrassing as some other things could be. He went to the door to see what Tasha and Steve wanted. Just as he grabbed the doorknob, he saw his post it note from Tony. He glanced at the clock. Half past six: plenty of time to shower, get dressed, and make it downstairs in time for the meeting. He opened the door, thinking that his friends were waking him for the surprise meeting. As he opened it, he started talking at the same time as Natasha and Steve. "Don't worry, I got the note. 'pajama party' in the shop," got garbled up with Natasha's "What the hell happened to our clothes?!" and Steve's "I think someone stole our clothes." Bruce was surprised.
"What do you mean, 'someone stole out clothes'?" Natasha and Steve replied in unison.
"OUR CLOTHES ARE GONE!"
"Well, I suppose that explains your showing up at my door in you pj's. Trust me, I didn't take them. Let me get dressed, and I'll help you find them."
Bruce closed the door and went to his closet to retrieve his usual attire, a button up shirt, and a pair of nondescript pants. When he opened the door, he finally realized what Tasha and Steve were talking about. The closet was completely empty. He ran back to the door, and yanked it open.
"WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?!" He yelled.
"It's okay, Bruce, calm down. We'll find them. I have a feeling that Tony is behind it." Natasha said fearfully.
"Yeah. It's probably a reaction to the dirty laundry in his room. I don't think he wanted to do it." Cap stated.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Natasha said. "Do you think we should wake Thor up?" she asked Bruce. "You know how long it takes him to wake up."
"I say, let sleeping gods lie"
As Natasha and Steve burst out laughing at that horrible pun, Clint came out of his room in his pj's, basketball shorts and sleeveless white shirt
"What'd I miss?" he asked sleepily.
"Oh, nothing much. Just me making a terrible joke, someone stealing all of our clothes, and Natasha and Steve collapsing in a giggling heap." Bruce said.
The only part of that reply that Clint heard was "someone stealing all of our clothes" and that phrase echoed through his mind. He ran back to his room and glanced into his closet. EMPTY! he ran to Thor's room and started to bang on the door.
"Thor! Open up!"he kept pounding on the door until everyone's favorite demigod opened it. Shanding there in his blue plaid flannel pajama pants. "What is the matter, friend Clint? Is Loki attacking again? What is happening?"
"No. Worse." With that, Hawkeye broke down in tears.
"What is it? Frost Giants? More Chitauri?" Thor asked, afraid for his life.
"No. Worse." Hawkeye was nearly hysterical by this time.
"Attack of the Bilgesnipe?" Thor asked, wondering what could be worse than another Chitauri attack. At this point, Hawkeye was a mumbling, sobbing mess, so Bruce took over.
"Clint is upset because someone came into his bedroom in the middle of the night and stole all of his clothes." Banner explained calmly.
"So? He can borrow some of my clothes." Thor said, proud that he had come up with a solution. Then Natasha chimed into the conversation.
"Uh, Thor, have you checked out your closet?" Thor's eyes widened, and he ran back into his room and tore the closet doors off their hinges. When he saw the empty shelves, he fell to his knees, much like on his first trip to Midgard when he found that he couldn't lift Mjolnir. After a moment of silence, He got up.
"So what are we going to do about this, friends?"
"We have a meeting with Tony at eight. We'll find out where he took our clothes then." Steve said. "Now who wants breakfast?" With a little over two hours until their "pajama party" they all accepted Steve's offer of food.
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While all this was happening upstairs, Tony was in his shop, AC/DC blaring, working on his blue and white sports car. He almost had it back to its original near-mint condition, after his first expedition with the suit ended badly for it. As he worked, he wondered whether his housemates had realized that their clothes were missing, or if they found their first clues to the scavenger hunt he had arranged to take place that morning. After yesterday's escapade of throwing his friends' clothes out the window, he had gone a step further and confiscated all of their clothes. All they had left was whatever they had gone to bed in. Tony thought that it would be interesting to see everyone in their pajamas when they came down to the shop for a meeting later that morning. Natasha was usually the first one to wake up, followed by Spangles, then Bruce. Clint was next. Thor was the second to last to wake up: Tony himself was the king of sleeping in. He hated waking up, but he wanted to be awake when everyone realized that the clothing was gone. His motto about waking up was the same as with drinking. If you don't stop drinking, you don't have to deal with a hangover, and if you don't go to sleep, you don't have to wake up. So he had stayed up all night, working on various things around the shop. By midnight, the only thing that still needed work was that poor little blue car, and he'd been working on it ever since. he decided to stop car repairs for a while and set up for his "pajama party." After he sent his friends on their quest, he would sleep for most of the day. But first he needed to put the finishing touches on his scavenger hunt.
A/N: writing this chapter brought up a somewhat terrifying question: What do the Avengers wear for pajamas? Since this is, in fact a crackfic, I stretched the possibilities, and you've read what I came up with. The next chapter shall explain the scavenger hunt, answer any of the team's questions, and send them to the first secret location.